chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
2018-01-01 04:34 pm

Care and Feeding of Your Chrysilla

So. I've got some physical/medical issues. (Do they count as medical if nobody knows what's actually going on?)

Will start with the food stuff, b/c that's what people ask about the most. I may add medical stuff later, if people want to see what I've already been tested/diagnosed for before they start giving me more medical advice. (Have you tried... YES.)

And I will continue updating this schpiel as I collect more data (ie, hurt my tummy on more things).

How to feed your Chrysilla )
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
2017-03-27 02:26 pm

Doldrums continued.

Today it's the perfect gloomy trenchcoat+boots kind of weather. So that's lifting my spirits a bit.

Mixed weekend, tho. Read more... )

After paying bills I ordered some supplements for next month's budget, including "NAC" which is the latest magical EBV cure I've heard of. Its a precursor to the body's fave antioxidant called glutathione (GSH) (which just gets digested if taken itself), but while helping the liver and eliminating free radicals = good, I'm not sure how that helps chronic EBV when there's no die-off stage like with a bacterial infection, and thus not much need for detox. Tho there are also claims that it can inhibit/relieve inflammation responses, which *might* be why it sometimes helps with mental illness. But might as well try it, right? Who knows when I'll ever get to try LDN. I'm just losing faith that anything otc can cure my brainfog.


Guess I'm sticking with Amazon Prime, even if I lose the student discount for not being enrolled for a couple semesters. It seems to be paying for itself, tho the researching of individual supplements and products can be a bit overwhelming sometimes.


Not sure about scheduling game this month. Since my fatigue has 'leveled up' (and not the rest of me), I'm not sure I could get thru a weekend with running my own game, and still have energy for work the following week. Which would mean two months in a row off from game, tho. My energy levels are just too unpredictable :-(

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
2017-03-21 10:52 am

Two steps back, fall off wagon

My psych apparently didn't get my message asking about LDN two friking weeks ago, so he hadn't done any research or thinking about it, so he said no to letting me try it on his Rx yesterday :(. He only knows it for its original uses and strength. Suxxor. He wanted to put me on more Wellbutrin, I was like nope. On the upside, he confirmed the lysine-effect on this type of virus, so at least an actual doctor weighed in on this part of the plan.

On my way into work I stopped by Lilac's on Bleeker to drown my sorrows in fancy (dairylicious but still gf) chocolate, after spending weeks resisting the cheap Easter candy I <3. Because who gives a f#$% about my inflammation problems anyway :-P

I see the endocrinologist who treats my friend with LDN on 4/3 (earlier than I realized) so hopefully he won't think I'm crazy. Maybe I'll tell him about the 'knitting endo' to garner sympathy, tho that didn't work on my psych.

But overall very mopey and defeated right now. Just ... F#$% you doctors :-/


Warning: fabric binge )


Then there's the question of *if* I got to try LDN, would it bring my size/weight down? Would I then have to take in everything I've sewn in the last few months? Another good reason to put it off a couple months. On the outside chance I get to try experimental medicine drug.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
2017-03-17 01:00 pm

Viruses Are Jerks

In spoonieproblems news, chatted with the needler last night who isn't sure #EBV has a 'die off' stage like a bacterial infection, b/c viruses are different, and don't have cell walls full of toxins that flood the body as the infection is fought off. She thinks I may just still be adjusting to the new supplements. Its technically a herpes virus, and herpes patients don't get die-off reactions, right?

Also, since EBV lives in the white blood cells, and it can take 3-4 months for the wbc's to cycle through, the Lysine will definitely help in the long run, wearing the virus down and then preventing future flares, but it won't feel like a quick fix.

I wonder if the EBV is not so much fighting back against the new treatments as just being a jerk due to the high levels seen in January :-P Otherwise, no explanation for the recent uptick in fatigue. Unless the early spring has just reactivated my sleep disorder to ridic levels.

Slept pretty well again last night, so that's good. Still not sure if I can/should go out this weekend tho. And waaay better on Wednesday night after a meditative epson-salt bath.

My needler also gave me good tips on how to schpiel my psych into prescribing off-label LDN this Monday: autoimmune -> inflammation of the central nervous system, which *might* indicate why despite Strattera, Wellbutrin, and acupuncture the f'ing brainfog just won't f'ing clear up.

Brainfog is definitely my most hated symptom. Even if I was too tired to get out of my office chair, I think I could accomplish some small part of my goals if I didn't have this problem :-/ Typing is not very draining, I don't think.
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
2017-03-13 01:51 pm

Weekly Update - Die Off Mode?

So I've lost about 8ish lbs off my average weight since early February, which *might* indicate that the no-dairy rule on my current diet plan is helping deflate some inflammation.

From now on, I'd rather not use the term Paleo b/c it annoys me. It is now the Inflammation Diet. The "My Insides Are On Fire Diet" was too long and the initialism was clunky. MIAOFD? Meh.

Viruses get die-offs too? )

Sleep is still f'ed, but not sure if that's due to bodily weird or Impending Spring Syndrome. Very annoying tho. Impending Spring Syndrome has also encouraged me to buy new makeup, and make new clothes, but then the latter actions are stymied by Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which claims it was here first. *sigh*

Current plans, try to settle down my accursed FOMO, get more sleep, take more epsom salt baths for skin weirdness (you finally cleaned the darn tub, now f'ing use it pls). The whole city + dayjob will be shut down on Tuesday b/c snow (french toast alert level at 4), and would like to do some sewing for a project, but will settle for more coma-time.

Not sure if I'll be running my tabletop game this month, or going to the MES NYC Feature Game this weekend, b/c apparently I need my weekends for coma time this month :-P Not sure if I should call it now, or wait until the last minute.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
2017-03-09 02:16 pm
Entry tags:

Health updates, hello l-lysine

Today I'm starting on L-Lysine, tho I'm not sure I haven't taken it before, from the good doc I saw back in 2012? *shrugs* Supposedly it shanks EBV, here's that theory in a nutshell: http://epstein-barr.blogspot.com/2005/11/positive-results-with-lysine.html
Further googling repeats that theory in more complicated explanations. Some sources say I should be taking 500mg three times a day, but Ima start with once.

Tried increasing my vitamin C from 1g to 2g's last weekend, but then had a very painful IBS flareup for no apparent reason. So I'm back down to 1g, and trying the lysine instead. Might try 1.5g in a few weeks.

I should post a list of all-the-supplements I take, and then post new lists as things shift and change. Log how my life improves or doesn't.


Energy levels are not so much increasing as becoming more spastic or even bipolar (not mood wise tho, phew). Some weekends I get a ton of housecleaning done, or I successfully run a session of my tabletop rpg for an evening, and other weekends I can't do more than doze on the couch listening to music I already know*. I've had problems remembering to eat enough on weekends, but even with that problem fixed I'm still having trouble with this. I feel like I'm looking for one more (magic?) pill to put me over the edge of healthy, but I'm not sure if that's delusional at this point.


The hunt for a new doctor continues. Read more... )

There is an EBV patients group on FB someone on twitter pointed me to, but I had to shut off the auto-updates b/c of the antivax nonsense. Just... no.

That's really the worst part of this. I like peer reviewed science. But unfortunately I'm not dying fast enough for medical science to give a crap yet. To the point where I can't even find a doctor to treat me for reasonable fees. So I have to trawl the loonie fringe sites for self-treatment ideas. Ugh.


And that's the spoonie news for this ... week? Weekly updates would be good. Remembering to actually track that often would be a miracle tho.

<3 Chrysilla


*FYI, there is such a thing as being too fatigued to listen to new music, or read a book. Or watch a new-to-you movie. Or watch a new episode of a tv show you already know and like. And I've been this way for almost 6 years now. If that *wasn't* the case I'd be a nerd trivia master by now :-P
chrysilla: (bb accounts)
2017-02-24 11:53 am

The Qi You Save May Be Your Own...

Wondering if quitting my dayjob for a lower paying work-from home thing (creative + patreon, or freelance research etc) would be better or worse in the long run.

Given research about EBV without a doctor's guidance thus far (urgh), it seems largely the virus gets reactivated by stress. But ... how much stress? One really bad day? A sinus infection? A constant low drone of stress? Furthermore, many people seem to do better at managing it (or curing, according to some anecdotal accounts, meh) on various clean/elimination diets plus daily vitamin supplements and/or occasional vitamin megadoses during active-virus time. And none of that is ever covered by insurance. So... if I quit my dayjob, would I need less expensive healthcare? Or would it only help for a short while, like with everything else I've ever tried, and the virus will just reactivate itself again for no clear reason?

breaking it down )

So... very much a gamble. Could pay off, might blow up in my face.

What I really want right now is to just get an EBV *reprieve*, even if just for a few months to a year. Then I can get my creative stuff off the ground and see whether or not I even *could* make enough $$ from it to quit my dayjob, and then I can make a plan to move from one to the other a bit less jarringly. Or the +ment bonus from having those projects work out could sustain me enough for the dayjob.

I think most ppl who would tell me to quit my job without much forethought probably have waaaay more health privelidge than I do. Meh.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
2017-01-20 11:22 am

Me and my EBV

Got it checked and double checked, and I'm having an active Epstein Barr infection right now. Since the last time I was tested for it was 2011, and that doctor explained it really badly ('andtibodies' rather than 'you have it RIGHT NOW') its very possible that this is what's been causing my CFS problems the whole time. Hard to say for sure tho, b/c no data.

Figured I'd make one blog post about it, to edit/add to when I remember more through the brainfog, rather than a zillion FB posts.

Current theory: bad digestion -> borked immune system -> EBV flare -> bad digestion -> borked immune system -> EBV flare -> etc. Feedback loop of epic fail.

Five years of suck )

For right now the plan is more tummy treatments and vitamins to strengthen my immune system, some new and some increased doses based on what I could find on the internet, while I wait for my new GP to find me a specialist. I was already planning to do a diet cleanup in February, so that was convenient, tho now I'm considering full Paleo again. Or mostly full, I need chocolate. Also, if stress is a trigger, its about f'ing time I started meditating regularly.

"Think Happy Thoughts Dammit" has been explained to me as a treatment by a fellow EBV-spoonie, but Happiness can be expensive in NYC. So... more Netflix? Even when I'm too tired to watch a new movie or tv episode (yes, that's a thing). I'm already seeing my psych next week, so I'll see what he thinks. I'm already trying a smidge of Wellbutrin for a 'lift' in addition to Strattera (my psych's had good patient experience w this), but while I'm not feeling negative side effects I'm also not feeling benefits.


I guess there's a chance that EBV could shut itself off as randomly as it turned itself on, maybe with permanent lifestyle changes, but I dunno. When I thought it was hypothyroid, I figured I'd just have to add an extra body-chemical and things would get better. Now there's an evil virus chilling in most of my cells, which can wake up whenever it wants, and leave me borked for weeks even if it goes back to sleep.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (dw Tardis)
2016-09-08 10:21 am

Lessons of DragonCon 2016

Short version:

Dragoncon was kinda meh this year. But not due to illness or injury or meltdown, so not *that* meh. I tried some new things and ended up not liking them, which in the long run is still a good thing full of nerdy personal growth rather than suffering. Tho I got to see the fruition of a costume 8 years in the making, and now that is DONE. It also offered some insight into what I want/need from a convention geekend.

Overall, I need time to chat with people (and start that modern-calling-card thing so I can see them online laters), but also to absorb the stories of many, many creator-type persons to get my own creative engines revved for the next few months. Doesn't really matter what kind of creator- writers, filmmakers, musicians, fine artists, crafters, whatevs. And I didn't get much of that being told "you have to sit in this room for two hours to make sure you get to the costume contest on time."

I also need lots of dancing and music. I really fought my way towards the later and got what I needed, but the former was somewhat hampered by recent leg pain issues. Tho overall, a month of PT really helped with my resilience, so it wasn't as bad as I expected.

I still suck at finding friends at con, and making new ones, but if I were watching all-the-panels instead of sitting bored in a room full of strangers that wouldn't bother me so much.


Longer version: Read more... )

And this month, Arisia memberships and room blocks go on sale, yaaaaay! Not sure if I want to enter LoS into their costume contests tho, having learned my lesson at DCon. But I think more people will *get* the LoS costume at Arisia? Mebbe?
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
2016-01-25 04:25 pm

Snow happens. *shrugs*

First day of classes at work, so every time I go to type or read something a patron turns up. Very bizy. Although not very crowded, b/c a large part of the student population is probably still snowed out of NYC as of this weekend. But everyone who's here is definitely making it sound like a full house, b/c rampant coughing.

Tbh, the blizzard didn't alter the path of my life while it was happening. Housebound weekend, already in progress. )

This will probably be the last weekend I can get away with not doing any homework (spaced out and forgot, whups). Starting in February I'll have one assignment due every week, so best to work on those during the weekend. Found out from the prof I had last semester that he did put down a final grade for my transcript (A, woot) but unfortunately its not showing up in the whole system. And he didn't give grades/comments for the individual projects b/c he was going to do that later. Well... its later? And maybe this semester I won't wait until the last minute to do most of my assignments :-/ It just feels very overwhelming, even after last semester wasn't so bad.

Arisia gave me new drive to work on my podcast again, so... maybe this time it'll last? Writing is free, luckily, unlike sewing. Will try to finish up the last of the cut-out sewing projects next weekend (when not homeworking :-P), and then leave the fabric stash alone for a few months. Then I will make myself go out with ppl a bit more, and otherwise work on creative writing. It would be nice to finally get this project off the ground now, so if it fails miserably I can doubledown on being a growup, getting my degree and trying for a better paid but still boring library job.

And b/c everyone else in the Domain is going to Dreamation or something, the local NYC larp got moved to the fourth weekend when I'll already be in Boston for MES. *shrugs* Maybe I can get this geeky project off the ground during my two month vacation from the local game?

It continues to annoy me that I have plenty of time in which to work on both school and creative projects, but CFS means I'm too tired. If I remember to work on things I'm too spaced out to concentrate. But I'm seeing a sleep-doc next month, along with some other docs, so maybe something will work? The adrenal-testers cashed the check, so maybe someday I'll get those test results too. My thyroid is on the low side but still in normal ranges (for other ppl), Ima ask my PCP if he can do *something* to treat that anyway if other docs can't help so much.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (dw Tardis)
2016-01-20 04:45 pm

Arisia happened again! This time in 2016!

Yay, Arisia! Sho much fun. Although there's always a feeling of not having done all-the-things I could have, I think I still did OK :-)

Much ramblings about con! )

Arisia seems to put me into more of an introspective "Where do I want to be coming from *next* year?" mode than new years. Especially I am thinking about my costume plans (for DCon first), and my podcast/audiodrama idears. Wouldn't it be nice to have something like bizness cards for my podcast to pass around Arisia? They'd definitely be my target demographic. In general, 'calling cards' are something I really want to start carrying around at con, b/c useful. All the info on my Facebook and Etsy (and maybe more) stuff on one little card so I can talk to ppl more via social media.

If my CtD game continues apace, I might make a module of it to run at next Arisia? Not sure how that works, but I know who to ask about it. Working on my own piece for the Doom & Gloom Competition is daunting tho, b/c its been so long since I sang in front of ppl on the regular, and I was never a soloist.

Maaaaaybe I'll tap more ppl who already go to Arisia for Steampunk Babylon5 collusion. Plenty seem interested, and I can't get my NYC friends to go. On the other hand, when there's a GoT cosplay meetup, there's like ten of each character. I don't mind overlap, especially with such an amorphous concept.

But as for costuming... how does one get ppl to take photos of a big weird costume? Just wander back and forth in the lobby for a couple of hours? Get into the Masquerade (I have no idea how those work)? Also, nobody pays attention to Steampunk costumes unless they're wired to light up, so Ima have to figure out how to put that in too. *ponders* But I've got until DCon to figure it out.

Now I just need more spoons. I'm pretty sure I'd have the time if I didn't spend so much of it spacing out. *sigh*

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (dw Tardis)
2016-01-04 08:15 pm
Entry tags:

So... a year happened. I think?

Well, its certainly been a while. I guess I lost touch with my bloggy thing b/c it was a thing I mainly did on Monday nights at work, and at the beginning of 2015 I lost my Monday nights for several months b/c of office crazy. A coworker suddenly left, and the supervisor made weird decisions about changing everyone's schedules to cover all the desk shifts. By the time I got them back (August?) I'd fallen out of the habit, and then I started grad school and Monday nights were for homework.

But its a new year, so that's a good time for taking stock of the goings on. Especially as I have a whole extra hour to fill tonite, yaaaay :-P

Health 2015! )

School 2015! )

Sewing and Jewelry 2015! )

Finance 2015! )

Geekiness and Travel 2015! )

Plans for 2016! )

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (will thelemic)
2015-02-24 05:22 pm

Taking stock. Again.

Have had the soul-flu for most of the month. And my stomach's been extra weird in new ways. Winter usually wakes me up a bit, b/c cold doesn't break my brain the way summer humidity does, but I was already burnt out so there isn't much to bounce back on. I've decided to not feel bad or guilty at all for spending most weekends home alone sewing and stash busting, but at least I've had a few outings. Dinner out with friends, and some other friends stopped by my house for BPAL and geeking out, yay. I've been remembering to *read* my dayplanner as much as I write in it, so that's awesome.

MES weekend was fun earlier this month, and my new Accord costume bits worked out OK, but I think in general the Friday and Saturday nite games will work out better for my energy levels, and picking up out of town guests, etc. And it means one less dinner to buy between the Saturday games. But I was less crashed out than usual on Sunday, yay. In Accord we wrapped up some wolfie plot, so my lil goth wolfie PC can chill out for a few months in downtimes, and playing thru various IRC games. Barely had anything to do at the downtimes meetup this month, wuz kinda awesome. And I still didn't feel awake enough to be truly effective in Requiem, so will see how next month's combo goes.

I've been toying with the idea of going to the MES National convention, but while there is actually Cris-safe food in the area around the hotel, Roanoke is just too expensive to get to via plane. I just won't have enough in my 'other cons' savings account to cover it all. Dexcon is still failing on food though (is the same weekend, around July 4th) so I'm thinking that this year I might just not do any more cons aside from DCon, and build up a bigger $$ pillow in that account for now. On the other hand, I might stop going to DCon every year, will see. Much room to edit and try stuff out.


As for the continuing Sewing Sagas, Faaaaabric )

Went over financial stuff for the month last night, will pay my bills tonight b/c I'll be away this weekend. While I suck less than the last few months I'm still not very good at not overspending. So in March Ima put off my BPAL order until the end in case I didn't spend all my $$ on linen. Or I might just pointedly forget that I have a shopping list for Lupers, since I have so much perfume already, and put that $$ back into savings. My Autumn BPALS, and one of two Yules, are already quite nice now that they're here. I continue to suck at refilling my emergency fund but at least now its automated.

Changed up the spending-tracker portion of my spreadsheet a little bit, splitting the 'other' column into "stuff" and "experiences". Am hoping to have less of the first and more of the second by the end of the year. And I can't afford the second if I blow all my $$ on the first, durh.


Although, I won't have that much time for sewing if I do end up going to grad school this summer. Back to the MLS? )


I've been fighting off some kind of nose/throat ick for a couple of weeks, not sure if it's an illness or just the heating system at work being mean to my sinuses. Its barely there at home, where I have a humidifier chugging away. Tho last weekend I just had zero energy. Several sewing projects already cut out, and just couldn't work on anything. All I could do was crash out on the couch and watch tv, with a few breaks for vital chores. Dumb soul flu :-P Tho I think I made it worse by downloading another Birthday Massacre album that was missing from my collection. Ooops.


Looking forward to going to the Boston MES games this weekend, to see friends, "to Marguerite" in Requiem, and to deal with varying levels of exquisite angst and awkward in Accord, lol. Poor lil goth wolfie. On the other hand, watching the weather reports very closely in case things are going to get cancelled, either the trains or the games. But it looks good so far :-) And this will probably be my last chance to dress up as Nav in live-action rp for a few months.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (clothes)
2015-02-05 05:10 pm
Entry tags:

Stash-busting continues in earnest.

Hooray, it is time to distract myself from awfulness with much pictures of my accomplishments.

It turns out I finished 11 sewing projects in January, so that's awesome. Mostly smaller projects tho, I followed the example of the 'debt snowball method' and got a bunch of small stuff out of the way to clear away the stash. And with mostly familiar patterns, and knits, so also quicker projects.

Ironically, I'd lapsed on keeping up with my feedly blogs, and there was a goth-homemaker blog where I could have shared that in-theme-ly last month. Whups. But I would have posted them here anyway :-)

Tshirts, cardis, pleather pants, and a skirt )

And the epic adventure in bag making, which has apparently super-impressed my therapist:

Pleather backpack )

Next in the hopper- turning a lot of leftover linen (b/c the linen store only sells whole yards unless its a remnant) into a variety of the tank top blouses that I like. Though I've had to add an inch to the bottom of the bodice, otherwise its just too low cut. And nip in the sides a bit. But it works really nicely in linen so far. Tried doing the regular fabric-tubes for the straps on a red one, but gave up and luckily found ribbon instead. But then I heard of another technique for that which I should try. I could really use another knit cardigan, and/or longsleeved tshirt in more than one leftover color, but those are new patterns I haven't tried yet.

Also debating whether I should start making lots of drawstring bags, of varying degrees of complexity, to get thru my remnants and scraps. Or just toss the scraps, and any remnants I don't actually like. I could quilt, but that just opens a door to buy MOAR STUFF later, and there's such a wide variety of fabric weights that I'm not sure it would work out. But there's a lot of remnants I sortof inherited, and am unlikely to ever use, so why not toss them?

I've been researching jacket tailoring, to figure out how to stop screwing up collars and jackets, before I start a muslin for the blazer I keep trying to perfect. Might have to just start sewing sleeves by hand, but I'm not sure which would be more annoying. Debating whether or not to donate the collection of old jeans, b/c when would I actually wear a denim blazer? Why recycle when I can just donate to the bin in my basement?

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (bb accounts)
2015-02-02 05:01 pm

Everything counts in large amounts?

Was trying to get back into the once-a-week habit, but to be honest nothing much has happened since Arisia, b/c I've continued to be super burnt out.

Sleep stuff )
Job stuff )
Sewing & fabric stuff )

This upcoming weekend is MES larping, so Ima start my 'just two games' experiment to see if I get less hungover. Saturday afternoon and evening games for this weekend, but most months it will probably be the Friday and Saturday nite games. Spoon conservation, availability of IRC games, trips to Boston, and other factors involved in this idea.

Other than that ... no real plans. NYRSF is tomorrow, and since I'm not closing tonight I might be well rested enough to go. On the other hand, the city streets are clogged with snow and ridiculous slush puddles, and today I might have to ice skate home if nobody tries to fix that. I guess ppl were too sports-focused this weekend to freak out about the snowstorm, so I wasn't really prepared for this today. Not as bad as it could be, tho.

Acupressure keeps working. *shrugs* Got the recommended book, we'll see what else it can help with. The Reiki book was nonsense tho.

Tonight I do really need to wash the laundry, couldn't Sunday nite b/c I had a stomach problem that stopped me from sleeping well on Saturday nite. I hope the commute doesn't drain me past the point of ability. And with the laundry rack out, I can't cut out more sewing projects, so maybe if I'm home I can work on some housekeeping instead. The "Completely In/Active" resolution isn't going 100%, but I'm still working on it.


Got my BPAL Halloweenies in the mail today, so at least I can play with those tonite whether or not I'm functional. A friend stopped by over the weekend with a Yule she didn't like, but I did and bought it off her. That leaves only one Yule that I want to order, which I could also do tonight. And another LE, but its currently out of stock while the line doesn't go down until the 5th. I could order imps if I'm only getting one bottle, but I also like the idea of NOT doing that and spending less $$. Other ppl like having them for the season, but I find waiting for other ppl to review them saves me $$. Yaaay.


Weekend after next, probably taxes. B/c I <3 $$ more than boys right now (2/14), and I feel no shame for it. Wheeeee! Also probably more sewing and scrap-sorting.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
2015-01-20 08:35 pm

Arisia! It happened! I was there!

So... yah. That!

Did a mostly OK job of keeping up on sleep until Wednesday, when I did the gamer downtimes meetup and stayed out too late again. Tho in my defense the trains are screwed up. Tho I should have remembered they were screwed up from Monday nite. *shrugs* I think I got to bed on time Thursday nite too, after much packing and prep work, don't quite remember.


A lot of Arisia is still a blur. I was very worn down, brainfogged, and extra-zombie-fried for most of it, so the happy wasn't as cathartic as last year. However, it was really wonderful hanging out with my local Boston friends as ourselves (rather than as larp characters), and likewise seeing friends from elsewhere and, um, NYC whom I don't see very often. B/c leaving the house is hard. Very much calling this a win, Arisia was wonderful even though my brain was broken. Spent Monday having lunch with some of them, then meeting up with more in the gaming room for one final huzzah over CAH. Despite being brainfogged all weekend I still wasn't prepared to leave. Definitely going back next year :-)

More Arisia! )

I do think that I'm a bit past the point of "Are you sure you don't secretly *want* to be sick?" for chronic fatigue, sinus probs, etc. NO. I DO NOT. I'm still looking for that bit of leverage to get out from under the rock, which I think I did find in MES last spring, but then my sinuses rebelled. Will pick up that acupressure book and try a few more new things, some of which got derailed in the past (oh, you wanted to go to the reiki open circle? here's a hurricane instead :-P). Maybe if I can scrounge up the budget I can start doing acupuncture again, maybe just monthly. The BrainSync page sez I need to use their special expensive sleeper headphones, but I can get one of their MP3s on a gift card and try that out via computer speaker, at least for the first time. I have a whole new pinterest board filling up with the newagey side of self-care and coping.


Tho coming back down to earth again, none of this will probly happen this month. Well, maybe some books b/c I have a B&N gift card. Its rather the opposite of what I was planning, but I've screwed up my regular monthly budget enough that I should probably just stay in and sew, and veg out, for the next couple of weekends. Not to mention that I seem to have shrunk so I want to try out some old sewing patterns to see what fits now. Also, stash fabric. And new patches. Sho many. I did laundry the week before con, so I should have the 'livingroom nook' open all weekend for fabric stuff.

There's IRC stuff tomorrow and Thursday, not sure if I'll be up for it. I really am just in the mood for moar sewing this week, maybe some email gaming. And I need to set up some Dunsirn connections now that this new PC is in the MES database.


Doing mostly OK today, except for that whole "Dude, what did I do last weekend?" sense in my brain. Monday night I got home around 8pm, Amtrak was 20 mins early and then every subway train was at the platform when I needed it (thankyee Eshu). Spaced out on the internet for a little while as I tried to figure out if I were hungry or should eat anyway, then eventually realized I could just go to bed. I was already down to cover the 1:30-9:30 shift at work Tuesday, so that left time for lots and lots of sleep. I did try to tarot, but that part of my brain still isn't functional either. Oh well.

And unfortunately I had to choose either baking brownies *or* making this week's lunches last Thursday, so I won't have a chance to cook again until Wednesday nite. Which means two Bareburger lunches are also going on the $$ tracker. My stomach's been ever so slightly upset by BB the last few times, so at least it gives me a chance to see if one item in particular is doing that to me. Yay? Today no lettuce, and still lots of spicy veggies, but I seem a bit better.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (clothes)
2015-01-12 05:40 pm

Much dresses, wow.

Spent the weekend very stressed out about a neighbor situation, I think my body retaliated by not letting me sleep properly, so today there's extra brainfog and an odd kind of ... sensory overload. Sounds are too loud, lights too bright. My tummy was cranky this morning, but got better, and that's all normal for me.

But this time stress meant sewing, so instead of just working on the unfinished projects I cut two new ones, then finished one of each set. Pretty much the new things I needed for Arisia.

Chronic Illness Cat, manyblues dress )

Pleather + empire waist )

Also cut out one of the cardis I want to make, red flannel in that bell sleeved B4989 I like so much, without expecting to finish it over the weekend. This way I have something to pick up and work on if I have time this week, although I almost definitely won't have time until next week. Hopefully that flannel doesn't unravel easily :-/

Still have that black corduroy skirt to hem, too. And soon I'll cut a skirt out of the blue corduroy, but not the jacket for now. Did both at once with the black corduroy, and not sure I want a second jacket like that. I also think I can get thru more stash if I focus on simpler projects for a while. A couple more of B4989, several tank top blouses made from linen leftovers, and especially the knit projects I have lined up. Yay, no ironing.


In other news, Arisia is next weekend, yaaaaay! And I get to take a train instead of a bus to Boston, YAAAAAAY!!!!!

I'm building a Giovanni for the MES Cam/Anarch game, and the players are almost suspiciously friendly and excited for new blood. But ... they're Giovanni, so I guess that makes sense? The clanbook is a lot of fun so far, but I still need to put all my stuff in the DB before I go. Hopefully tonite. And look over the rest of the Arisia schedule and figure out what I'm doing and when I'm costuming. Might just bring these two 'costume' dresses with me, and do warm/casual for the rest of the weekend, b/c it will be cold and I'm not at the host hotel. Although a lot of my costume stuff *is* velvet... hmmm...

Until then, there's an IRC game I want to play tomorrow, and MES downtimes meetup Wednesday. Will probably bake brownies on Thursday, and so far eating almond-butter baked goods hasn't hurt me, so yay for bringing +10 Brownies to con.

Will deal with the kindof awful real world stuff, and all the sewing, when I get back :-P

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (will thelemic)
2015-01-10 06:07 pm

The continuing efforts to feel better and fail less. Happy New Year?

Not really up for full fledged 'resolutions', some kind of evil synergy tends to make most ppl's resolutions fail. But I have some plans that I may as well pin to the wall now? Year in review vs. Next year's forecast.

Crafty stuff:

Jewelry stays on backburner as I work thru avalanche of fabric. )

Health stuff:

Was thinking of doing dietary tweaks again, but then I'm like, "what if I resolved to make my life easier instead of more difficult this year?" so nope. Focusing on sleep, and a couple other things. )

Food stuffs. )

When they're done with the betatest: Flaredown! Missed getting onto the betatest b/c I didn't contribute to the indiegogo in time, but OMG I wanna play with that. B/c I am a data geek :-D



Gamer Stuff

I really can't do three larps in one weekend. I'm never awake enough to play Requiem effectively, and then I'm hungover the next day. And I don't even drink. So from now on just two. More rationalizations. And COSTUMES. )

Social Stuff:

I'm happy that the gamers have re-accepted me as one of their own, and happy that I was able to have some kind of externally-moving force in my life aside from work, but it wasn't supposed to be the *only* social outlet. Filling in the gaps, I live in NYC for crying out loud. ) So see, I have a lot of options. I live in friking NYC. Its really just a matter of feeling well enough to grab those options, or ignoring possibly false limitations and going anyway.


Travel

Not sure about adding tons of new cons this year. Arisia's next week, DragonCon of course (but maybe last consecutive year), *maybe* Dexcon but no other plans. The "Geek Escrow" savings accounts are working out really well, tho.

I do really like my Boston trips, and if I plan them long enough (like two months) in advance I can get cheaper train tix. So we'll see how that goes in February and if it leaves me energy for more fun outside of game while I'm out there. Not sure about traveling to other cities, not sure what Philly's MES group is like, but I've heard amazing things about D.C.



Finances

Still kinda suck financially, but I'm not destitute by any means. And I think I'll be able to max out my Roth IRA this year (b/c I can make contributions for 2014 until April), and putting my extra paychecks and IRS refunds in there worked out very well. And my Geek Escrow accounts *are* working out, so I had some good ideas that are working out. Yay for that. But in early fall I used my emergency savings like a credit card, and spent about a quarter of it, and refilling it has been slow going so far. Really have to figure that one out.

Cris, pls stop buying stuff. )

Other Habits, good and bad

I have a bad habit of spacing out on the internet at home instead of getting stuff done, or going to bed on time. Sleeping, or vegging out on the couch, would be a totally passive activity. Sewing and cleaning would be totally active. Unless I'm in an IRC game, the internet is some uncomfortable place between active and passive, so I can't start something else and its very hard to just shut it off. I think its getting in the way of a lot of other things.

Will see what kind of measures I can take to un-internet while I'm home. Sadly I can't just turn off my modem like I used to b/c it resets all the passwords :-P

Along those lines, when I'm at home I'd like to be either entirely active *or* passive, so basically see above. Tired? Watch neflix on the comfy couch. Awake? Sew or clean stuff. No more zoning out on the internet until I miss bedtime.

Books are still a thing, right? I have a whole shelf full of new books I haven't started reading, and some of them have been there for *years*. I don't remember when I used to read them. Working on that.

I'm quite sure that music is still a thing. Got on Emusic again, b/c lots of gothy bands seem to put their music up there. So I can make a list from the podcasts I listen to, and gradually pick them up each month, maybe with a booster for my b'day. I have 8GB on my mp3 player, would like to actually utilize that space. Lets see if having a 'music allowance' works better this time around.

Thought of having a "Big Cleaning Day" once a month, not sure if that's a good idea. Might leave things to pile up and drive me crazy, then do everything that one day and burn out. And then what happens if I'm sick that day, or if something actually fun comes up? Meh.

Spiritual stuff... ugh. So wrapped up in the mundane that I don't really have the braincells left over for higher states of consciousness and intuition. Will try to keep up with the regular tarot forecasts, but the last couple months its been a lot of me staring at the cards and not getting it. :-/

And I'd like to 'journal' like this at least once a week. I keep writing novels on FB, and why do I need to do that when I can just record it here and publish it all at once? Maybe I'll more pointedly post via tweetdeck to keep my chatter short and sweet.



So... that's about where I am, and what I'm looking at. I tend to change lives every few years, I'd really like to start the next one please, but this one is very staunchly and unfairly holding onto me.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
2015-01-07 03:59 pm

Slouching into the new year.

Oh yikes, well that was certainly a lull.

Since we last saw our hero... much illness and some gaming, plus winter break. )

I think at this point I've had more sinus infections than I've made Things for 100Things. So I refuse to feel guilty about that, I can't just stop one of those nasty things from happening to me. I think? So that sadly did not work out. Not sure whether I should try it again, maybe make it 100-Things-By-My-Birthday. But I'm just not feeling the jewelry or the polymer clay these days, my brain is just too fried. Sewing is OK but for me is less creatively demanding. Maybe I'll just focus on finishing that sewing to-do list by my b'day.

Also trying to figure out resolution-type things, but the synergy of New Years causes those to fail across the board, so meh. Considered another cleanse/diet thingie, but then decided I'd rather use this year to make my life *easier* instead of more difficult. I've re-started my Superbetter game, and put the button on my various browser toolbars so I don't forget about it this time. It wouldn't hurt to try and get back to live-journaling every week too.

Strattera doesn't seem to be hurting me, but I can never get a level playing field to try it out on given all the extra illnesses last season. My body seems to have adjusted to it for the most part, I guess we'll just have to see what happens. *shrugs*

Would also like to focus more on fixing the sleep problems, so Ima talk to my psych about anti-anxiety meds that might help with my AWI (cuz I don't want to take clonopin every nite), and ask my new internist if he can point me towards someone who can custom mold me some earplugs (the spongey ones hurt for some reason :-/). It all comes down to being tired and fatigued all the time, whereas other symptoms come and go, so I'm putting my $$ on the sleep disorder.

One ongoing behavioral problem in the way is how much time I spend spacing out on the internet in the evenings after work. I wonder if I should push myself to do something either more active (sewing, cleaning, etc), or *completely* inactive (tv + couch). Internet browsing is this strange in-between space that is just active enough to keep me clicking the mouse button, but I don't really accomplish anything. Its not even entertaining enough to remember what I was looking at the next day. It causes me to lose track of time, and then I miss out on more sleep.

For now... )

So this week I feel gross, despite just having come off winter break, and I'm not planning any social stuff for the rest of the week or the weekend. I need to do the laundry, make the monthly grocery trip, finish an MES pc, and hem one dress for con, but otherwise Ima do as little as possible to save spoons for Arisia *next* weekend.

Still want to be more social in general, but it will have to wait until after con. The next con after that at best would be Dexcon, b/c monies. But I've been bad at getting myself to Dexcon, and I tend to be sickly in July, so if not then I can save that for more cons next year. Or skip Dexcon so I can use that $$ to refill my emergency savings instead (I have sucked at that plan so far, yeesh). And then definitely DCon, but I'm not sure if I can keep going to that one. It may be my last consecutive year, unless its remarkably better than the last two.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (clothes)
2014-10-28 05:55 pm
Entry tags:

100 Things, Nevermore dress!

This is technically a UFO (unfinished object), but I finished it during this challenge thingie so it counts :-P

Made from quilting cotton, but a very nice cotton that I was oogling for a while before it finally went on sale. So very much an impulse buy, oops. But it turned out pretty nice.

I tried this shirt-dress (V8785 B sz 18) once before with linen, my first linen project evar, but at that point in my hobby-ing I didn't know that 'handkerchief linen' would be an awful choice for something with seams and interfacing. Eeek. That is still in the 'give up' bin somewhere.

The shape seemed to work OK *on* me, but I still tried my now-typical waistline adjustment of folding it up about 1.5 inches on the pattern. Tho its a bit different on what I think are dolman sleeves. I skipped the buttons b/c I hate making button holes, and instead used snaps, but the tiny snaps wouldn't hold enough for all that dress. It then took me six months to finally sew on the larger snaps I got, and those seem OK. Still wearing it with leggings and a cami tomorrow, tho.

Pictures! )

So yah, definitely Halloween themed, but will be wearing it for longer than that if the test run tomorrow goes OK. Wheeeee! Tho having just remembered tomorrow I'm getting allergy shots... hmmm, maybe not? Would still rather not bleed on it :-/

Now the Things tally is:
Sewing projects: 5

But at least that's 25% more than last time. Yay?

<3 Chrysilla