chrysilla: (will thelemic)
Not really up for full fledged 'resolutions', some kind of evil synergy tends to make most ppl's resolutions fail. But I have some plans that I may as well pin to the wall now? Year in review vs. Next year's forecast.

Crafty stuff:

Jewelry stays on backburner as I work thru avalanche of fabric. )

Health stuff:

Was thinking of doing dietary tweaks again, but then I'm like, "what if I resolved to make my life easier instead of more difficult this year?" so nope. Focusing on sleep, and a couple other things. )

Food stuffs. )

When they're done with the betatest: Flaredown! Missed getting onto the betatest b/c I didn't contribute to the indiegogo in time, but OMG I wanna play with that. B/c I am a data geek :-D



Gamer Stuff

I really can't do three larps in one weekend. I'm never awake enough to play Requiem effectively, and then I'm hungover the next day. And I don't even drink. So from now on just two. More rationalizations. And COSTUMES. )

Social Stuff:

I'm happy that the gamers have re-accepted me as one of their own, and happy that I was able to have some kind of externally-moving force in my life aside from work, but it wasn't supposed to be the *only* social outlet. Filling in the gaps, I live in NYC for crying out loud. ) So see, I have a lot of options. I live in friking NYC. Its really just a matter of feeling well enough to grab those options, or ignoring possibly false limitations and going anyway.


Travel

Not sure about adding tons of new cons this year. Arisia's next week, DragonCon of course (but maybe last consecutive year), *maybe* Dexcon but no other plans. The "Geek Escrow" savings accounts are working out really well, tho.

I do really like my Boston trips, and if I plan them long enough (like two months) in advance I can get cheaper train tix. So we'll see how that goes in February and if it leaves me energy for more fun outside of game while I'm out there. Not sure about traveling to other cities, not sure what Philly's MES group is like, but I've heard amazing things about D.C.



Finances

Still kinda suck financially, but I'm not destitute by any means. And I think I'll be able to max out my Roth IRA this year (b/c I can make contributions for 2014 until April), and putting my extra paychecks and IRS refunds in there worked out very well. And my Geek Escrow accounts *are* working out, so I had some good ideas that are working out. Yay for that. But in early fall I used my emergency savings like a credit card, and spent about a quarter of it, and refilling it has been slow going so far. Really have to figure that one out.

Cris, pls stop buying stuff. )

Other Habits, good and bad

I have a bad habit of spacing out on the internet at home instead of getting stuff done, or going to bed on time. Sleeping, or vegging out on the couch, would be a totally passive activity. Sewing and cleaning would be totally active. Unless I'm in an IRC game, the internet is some uncomfortable place between active and passive, so I can't start something else and its very hard to just shut it off. I think its getting in the way of a lot of other things.

Will see what kind of measures I can take to un-internet while I'm home. Sadly I can't just turn off my modem like I used to b/c it resets all the passwords :-P

Along those lines, when I'm at home I'd like to be either entirely active *or* passive, so basically see above. Tired? Watch neflix on the comfy couch. Awake? Sew or clean stuff. No more zoning out on the internet until I miss bedtime.

Books are still a thing, right? I have a whole shelf full of new books I haven't started reading, and some of them have been there for *years*. I don't remember when I used to read them. Working on that.

I'm quite sure that music is still a thing. Got on Emusic again, b/c lots of gothy bands seem to put their music up there. So I can make a list from the podcasts I listen to, and gradually pick them up each month, maybe with a booster for my b'day. I have 8GB on my mp3 player, would like to actually utilize that space. Lets see if having a 'music allowance' works better this time around.

Thought of having a "Big Cleaning Day" once a month, not sure if that's a good idea. Might leave things to pile up and drive me crazy, then do everything that one day and burn out. And then what happens if I'm sick that day, or if something actually fun comes up? Meh.

Spiritual stuff... ugh. So wrapped up in the mundane that I don't really have the braincells left over for higher states of consciousness and intuition. Will try to keep up with the regular tarot forecasts, but the last couple months its been a lot of me staring at the cards and not getting it. :-/

And I'd like to 'journal' like this at least once a week. I keep writing novels on FB, and why do I need to do that when I can just record it here and publish it all at once? Maybe I'll more pointedly post via tweetdeck to keep my chatter short and sweet.



So... that's about where I am, and what I'm looking at. I tend to change lives every few years, I'd really like to start the next one please, but this one is very staunchly and unfairly holding onto me.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
Oh yikes, well that was certainly a lull.

Since we last saw our hero... much illness and some gaming, plus winter break. )

I think at this point I've had more sinus infections than I've made Things for 100Things. So I refuse to feel guilty about that, I can't just stop one of those nasty things from happening to me. I think? So that sadly did not work out. Not sure whether I should try it again, maybe make it 100-Things-By-My-Birthday. But I'm just not feeling the jewelry or the polymer clay these days, my brain is just too fried. Sewing is OK but for me is less creatively demanding. Maybe I'll just focus on finishing that sewing to-do list by my b'day.

Also trying to figure out resolution-type things, but the synergy of New Years causes those to fail across the board, so meh. Considered another cleanse/diet thingie, but then decided I'd rather use this year to make my life *easier* instead of more difficult. I've re-started my Superbetter game, and put the button on my various browser toolbars so I don't forget about it this time. It wouldn't hurt to try and get back to live-journaling every week too.

Strattera doesn't seem to be hurting me, but I can never get a level playing field to try it out on given all the extra illnesses last season. My body seems to have adjusted to it for the most part, I guess we'll just have to see what happens. *shrugs*

Would also like to focus more on fixing the sleep problems, so Ima talk to my psych about anti-anxiety meds that might help with my AWI (cuz I don't want to take clonopin every nite), and ask my new internist if he can point me towards someone who can custom mold me some earplugs (the spongey ones hurt for some reason :-/). It all comes down to being tired and fatigued all the time, whereas other symptoms come and go, so I'm putting my $$ on the sleep disorder.

One ongoing behavioral problem in the way is how much time I spend spacing out on the internet in the evenings after work. I wonder if I should push myself to do something either more active (sewing, cleaning, etc), or *completely* inactive (tv + couch). Internet browsing is this strange in-between space that is just active enough to keep me clicking the mouse button, but I don't really accomplish anything. Its not even entertaining enough to remember what I was looking at the next day. It causes me to lose track of time, and then I miss out on more sleep.

For now... )

So this week I feel gross, despite just having come off winter break, and I'm not planning any social stuff for the rest of the week or the weekend. I need to do the laundry, make the monthly grocery trip, finish an MES pc, and hem one dress for con, but otherwise Ima do as little as possible to save spoons for Arisia *next* weekend.

Still want to be more social in general, but it will have to wait until after con. The next con after that at best would be Dexcon, b/c monies. But I've been bad at getting myself to Dexcon, and I tend to be sickly in July, so if not then I can save that for more cons next year. Or skip Dexcon so I can use that $$ to refill my emergency savings instead (I have sucked at that plan so far, yeesh). And then definitely DCon, but I'm not sure if I can keep going to that one. It may be my last consecutive year, unless its remarkably better than the last two.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (dw Tardis)

Having some trouble with journal formatting these days, eep. Oh well. Lets see how this goes.

Boston was fun! The gamer crowd there is always so welcoming. In Requiem I got to Marguerite (b/c that's just how it is), and it was mostly entirely social but that's where she excels. Accord was awful for my wolfie (so many conflicted feels and repressed fidgets) but fun for me, and that seems to be the standard of a good Accord game :-)   Was very fun staying over my local friend's (adorable New Englandy gamer geek) house and having gamer girl chat too, yaay, and I feel fine (well, no worse) this week so I am *not* allergic to Boston.

I figure every other month won't mess me up too badly, so I'm aiming to try November's games the weekend before turkey day.  But maybe also December, b/c I think it would fall into my winter break, which is apparently two full weeks this year unless HR has a knee jerk reaction closer to the end of the semester. Then again, I'm also doing Arisia in January, but they'll only have a MES Masquerade game this time. Eep, I still have to get my room res for Arisia, and train tix, which will drain my savings a bit more.

Also slept well in Boston, after a week of not sleeping well at home, maaaybe because I was taking more melatonin at bedtime while I was out there. I've started doing that every night so will have to see if it helps. Still on the Strattera, not feeling too much more focused or energetic, but there's still the sleep 'ish which may or may not be interrelated.

 

Have not continued on with the backpack project b/c I've been catching up on weekend chores every weeknight so far, I'm also still all crashed out and groggy every night after work, and tomorrow night is the start of the NYC MES weekend.  I'm really itching to start my sewing/costuming projects for Halloween weekend's games (GOTHMAS!) but tonight I have to put out the laundry rack, which means no fabric cutting for a while. And next weekend is NYCC, so I'll need to keep the chantry tidy so there's room for my friend to crash.  I can at least finish the backpack, I think, maybe a couple other UFOs. 

Next in the hopper is the pleather hoodie, and also I'm going to use all the black lace from my old vendor table dressings to make this medieval-ish dress pattern. Obv I'll wear a slip underneath, but I think that makes it flexible to use for more than one larp costume, depending on the color of the underdress/slip. Yaaay flexibility.

I also haven't set up my new stereo, but no rush on that since I won't be giving away the old one for a while. But I really should, b/c I spent the monies on it, and am feeling teh guilt. Maybe I'll do that on Sunday. And toss the last of the Discardias, I think I'll box those old books and put them downstairs after all. Just not wanting to deal with them, and I want my space back darnit. My friends all got their boxes in the mail tho, yay!

Continuing to not make Things, unfortunately. Just too much mundane catching up to do this week, plus extra brainfog. Oh well, I have three more months, and at least the work desk is already cleared for it.

Working on my budgets, I think I can do this OK. Unfortuately, BPAL just put out their Halloweenies. I just have to take some time at home to go over my list of already-haves and whittle down my OMG NEED reflex to a minimal number of bottles. Luckily, they'll be at NYCC, so lets hope a lot of them fail the sniff test lol.  Still not feeling 100% better in the respiratory system, but I'll have to try some of my own collection on this week to check my tolerance.

I might just stay in and sew for the next couple weekends between NYCC and NYC-MES. Well, mostly. Its been established that I can do sewing *and* go out in the same weekend, and b/c of budget problems I might keep going with the lazy not-time-consuming cooking this month. A pork shoulder is more meats, but I'm always tempted in to buying all these cooking veggies that just turn to mush in the crock pot anyway and don't really lend much flavur. Meh, I'll think about it, my monthly costco trip will probably be Sunday.  And I want to make at least some of the corduroy into stuff soon, b/c the heating is not fixed at work, and likely never will be :-P


My social life is a bit stalled out, after being sick for most of the summer, then having a broken phone, and now that I'm out of it other friends are getting sick b/c fall, and one of my usual social buddies is now not in the city for half the week (I think he's having an Eshu phase). I haven't even been to a full MES weekend since June. At least I have game this weekend and con next weekend tho, so I'm trying not to force myself out of the house as hard. Still don't feel completely recovered from all the ick.  Would like to start doing NYC SFC again, but the last couple weeks have been crazy, and tonight is more chores, meh.  Maybe this will be the month I finally get to Wits End? Hopefully not by myself. Overall I still can't shake this extra run down feeling I've had for the last few weeks, maybe I shouldn't push myself after all?

But I also want to keep up with my aDC Socials position in MES, so Ima make myself (attempt to) organize at least one thing this month. Might just put out a call for NYRSF on Tuesday and see how that goes. Not free, but not costly either, and they're back in SoHo.

Should I keep trying to have crafty gatherings at my place? Its a very small space, and kinda far out unless you're coming in from Manhattan.

<3 Chrysilla
 

chrysilla: (witch)
Last night got very spazzy with my motor skills, accidentally closed the whole browser window and lost a nice long journal post. Whups. Not feeling that much better today, actually, but went to the park to eat brownbag lunch with a friend which was nice.

Meds wise, I think my body is fighting back against the Strattera. Friday I was hyperactive, that settled down for the weekend, then on Monday I completely crashed out and fogged up an hour after my dose, was extra zombied all day. Focusing is still very difficult. Today its very similar. I have the option of being on each level of dosage for 5-10 days, and this is the fifth day of 18mg, so tomorrow Ima increase to 25. So I'll have a couple days to settle into it before going to Boston for the weekend, and I still won't have to raise my dose while I'm there. Sleep and tummy have also been a bit weird, but then they're ALWAYS a bit weird, so *shrugs*. And sleep usually gets weirder in early fall.

The fact that my office is still f'ing freezing is not helping with my focus either :-/ $$ will be tight next month, but I really need a thermometer for my desk.

As previously stated, my weekend was mostly eaten by sewing. But I interspersed sewing hours with cleaning half-hours, so now my workbench/desk is tidy again, and the bathroom is clean. There are still some bits of cleaning & organizing to do but not so much that I need to dedicate an entire weekend to the work. And I'd like to make a habit of cleaning more often so it stops piling up like that :-P


The fam came in for a Sunday brunch visit, for Dad's b'day, and they took some more of my junk away. Discardian Aftermath )

Finally remembered to tarot, but I only lapsed for a week I think. Not too bad. The omens look good for continuing 100 Things :-) Tarot pics )

A new moon in Libra would fall into my second house, so I hope that's also a good omen for $$s if not financial wealth. Cuz Friday night I looked more closely at my finances, and I've messed them up worse than I realized. Not in a 'help help emergency' way, not by a long shot, but in a 'this will take several months to put back correctly' way. So that's something, at least, that my mistakes haven't actually ruined my life immediately. But that means this is my time to fix them before they do ruin me.

Lapsed finances geek )

Overall I think Discardia succeeded, I've mostly made space for the life I want. The problem is my brain keeps shorting out and forgetting what I want, so I forget to spend my spare time pursuing those goals. Grr.

Plans for the week include trying to make a friend's impromptu b'day thing tonight (but SHO TIRED and I forgot his gift at home :-/), picking up my new stereo at the store near my home tomorrow, plus crafty stuff after, laundry on Thursday, and Friday I head out to Boston for their MES NWoD weekend of larps. I think getting away from my home for a couple days is a really good idea right now.

Tomorrow I should get the pleather in the mail, which is tempting me to make the hoodie in time for Boston, but NO. Just no. I want to make shiny things again, unrelated to games kthnx. You can have a big new costumey stuff reveal for the 'November' games and not drive yourself crazy this week.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
Starting the Strattera at 18mg today,for ten days before I increase the dose. After about 30 minutes I was already feeling a bit buzzed, warm and tingly. By the first hour I felt very energetic and way less foggy, but not really *focused*. It think I'm getting used to it now, I'm a bit queasy but that's a normal pre-lunch thing for me anyway.

If I were at home, I think I'd at least have the energy to do Saturday's todo list, but I'll have to see this afternoon if I can actually "get'er done" on this. Also not sure what happens when I run out of spoons on this, will I miss the signal and crash out? Feel extra gross the next day? Do I magically have more spoons to begin with?

So far it feels more like I have standard ADHD instead of my weird chronic fatigue version. But friends and my psychiatrist explained the whole "speed up to slow down" idea of ADHD meds (or tried to, I still don't really get it), so will have to see what happens when I increase the dosage. Definitely feels like a stimulant, but it's actually an uptake-blocker, so I guess its giving me more of my natural stimulants to work with?

And since my pinkie toe is still numb, and my sinuses are still "Ugh, ragweed!!" there's a lot of other stuff going on in my body right now :-P At least my back feels a bit better.



Ordered more fabric for future projects last nite b/c it was on sale again. I have a problem. )

Y'know, summer is historically a terrible time for my budget, and not just because DCon (and even less so, now that I know how to budget and save ahead for that trip). This year I noticed a lot of "I feel cruddy, so Ima make a bad (or imperfect) purchase decision." I'm thinking of doing a Buy Nothing Summer next year to see if I can. I can spend $$ on going out and doing stuff, and groceries/rx, but not on things that can become pointless physical clutter.

That could backfire, as I make a longer and longer shopping list over teh summer and then go crazy in September. Or I spend a ton around my b'day to stock up on some stuff before the dry spell. And then there's "I'd like to take this jewelry commission, but I'm all out of crimp beads." I've got nine months to figure it out.

On that note, it would also be nice to have a regular extra chores/cleaning day so I don't have to do all of it all at once some ill-fated weekend and f#$% up my back and leg muscles. :-P


Weekend's plans: regular chores, clean the bathroom, *maybe* swiffer and mop the other floors too. Take Discardia claims to the post office, and put the rest downstairs. Then I have a dress and a backpack to make (I wonder if the one-side shoulderbag is contributing to the nerve pinch making my toe numb?). My parents are coming in on Sunday for Dad's b'day, and then a friend is stopping by later to get more Discardia stuff. I should do laundry, b/c I'll be busy for the next three weekends. Or I could take a chance and push it off for a weeknight? The laundry rack and sewing table don't fit together in the space.

Today I have to stop by the bank with a lot of coin rolls. Last night I put those together out of purchase guilt, but as it turns out they almost cover last night's fabric purchase, so yay for that. Less credit card panic.

Next week I think there's an IAF meetup, yay. Other than that, probably not going out much, b/c I'd like this toe situation fixed before I go to Boston on Friday for the weekend of gaming and geekery.
chrysilla: (bb accounts)
Having a terrible time trying to stay focused at work today. Its a good thing I'm seeing a doctor about this tomorrow. And in good news I did indeed get the new phone and was able to call and confirm my appointment. Yaaay I can has medical treatment. Hopefully. I do not like the phone's touch screen yet, but I do like the wider keyboard.


Also, part due to making a large-ish purchase today, kinda out of the blue but not. Stereo Saga ) Today I find a really good upgrade that's 30% off. Aaaand I purchase it. Very unhappy with myself for breaking the budget again, tho ironically it cost less than half of what I spent on fabric this month (which would have been next month, except it was also on sale). *headdesk*

This is not a financial crisis, bills and groceries will be paid for, but I had unexpected medical expenses a few months ago and want to re-fill my emergency savings. Would also like to stop the summer trend of binge spending for non-emergencies. On the other hand, my budget mostly broke this month b/c of a bunch of smaller home improvement expenses, which are over with now. But it really feels more like an excuse than a rationalization.

More idle fretting )

The 100 Things Challenge will hopefully rekindle my jewelry bizness, which means making $$ back on the materials I already have. But what happens when/if I start buying new supplies again? Will I just end up applying the feast/famine habit to beads instead of fabric? I did get a bit better at not doing that before I stopped working on it the last time, but who knows.

I was doing much better with financial discipline for a while (BPAL limits, less grocery waste), but when it isn't a big 'why did i do that?' purchase its lots of little over-budget mistakes. And I can only go overbudget for so long until I just run out of savings :-P

Could assuage my guilt by spending more time at home with my new stereo, sewing stash, and bead projects instead of spending $$ on social outings, but that is kinda the opposite of my life plans right now. Whups.

<3 Chrysilla

NO-vember.

Dec. 2nd, 2013 08:25 pm
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
November was pretty much a wash. Just ... ugh. One random illness after another, and 2 of 3 were medically induced.

Sick After Sick )

So yah, that wasn't fun. Wednesday I was able to go back to work and eat normally, but from there I went straight to NJ for Turkey Day. My immediate family picked up some nice gf options for me, and at the extended-family party on Turkey Day proper my aunt who has Celiac came out so there were more gf options. Another relative mentioned that Askhenazi Jewish ppl and Irish ppl both have high rates of Celiac, and since that's all of my genetic heritage on Dad's side things make a bit of sense. And then came all the family gossip on old age, estates, etc, and now I freaked out enough to want to start investing my extra $$ more aggressively in 2014. Yay?

And then Black Friday happened, and I participated, but I don't thing going to a NJ craft store on Friday afternoon was so heinous. We drove past the malls, very glad we weren't involved in that craziness. And I picked up materials for *making* presents, so my conscience is clear.

And the BPAL binge happened. In which I can't tell if I have a problem... )

On the other hand, comparing hoarding BPAL to hoarding fabric has made me reframe my costuming plans a bit. In that I'm not sure I want to buy fabric and sew it anymore. Or tackle the giant costume plan I had for DCon. But I've also been sick for all of November, after a crazy sewing binge, so Ima give it a few more months. At least I'm sticking to my plan to not buy new fabric until after January. May take out a jacket pattern during Winter Break, or not, will see. I think sewing is something I should only do in the summer, when its too hot outside to think straight anyway.

A couple weeks ago I had the sudden, serious notion to sell all of my jewelry supplies on Etsy and cash-out of the business. Of course, that would be as much energy as making and selling my own jewerly, so probably won't happen any time soon. But the thought popped up. If someday I have the energy for jewelry again, but I still don't actually want to make any, then I may start working on that. Again, I've been sick for weeks, and I tend to make life-cuts when I feel stuck and frustrated like this. Usually its low key, like throwing out clothes that don't fit me, or empty bottles of hair products under the sink. I hesitate before shutting down a business that took years of my life (and a TON of credit card debt :-P) tho.


That reminds me, I finally cleaned up the bathroom this weekend. Tossed a ton of recyclables and took out a shelving thing that wasn't working in the space. It will live on the balcony until I figure out what to do with it. So that's good. Unfortunately, after the normal weekend chores were done that took up the last of my energy. So I had just enough spoons to overspend my spoons. Thus, I don't feel that much better today than I did for most of November. But I do feel a little better. And November is over, lets see if December is healthier.

And my Dad was nice enough to take the rest of my Discardia bin back to NJ with him, where charity groups will pick stuff up from their house when called. So I've got that little 1.5 x 2.5 bit of floor space back again, which is bigger than you'd think in such a tiny apartment. So the Chantry feels a bit neater overall this week. And I smudged with a nice incense blend I made up, cleansing and protecting. Never used sage before and I have definitely been missing out :-)


While I accomplished many home-things over the weekend (I don't think I've ever crossed out all but one thing on my wknd to-do list, OMG, no wonder I'm tired now) I was very frustrated that I didn't *go out* to do anything. But again, sick for weeks. And Saturday my tummy started trying to reestablish its boundaries and... urgh. So it was probably for the best that I stayed in.

This week, assuming I start getting some spoons back, I'd like to do some of that going-out other ppl talk about. I'm bad at organizing things, so I may default to an improv night. I'd really like to finally see Thor 2, so I might do that right after work on Thursday and then go to SFC after. Or maybe something else will come up. Its weird tho, the events page on my FB account is pretty thin for December, which everyone always says is overbooked.

Sadly this month's Browncoats is a holiday party on LI, so between the tired and the gluten I'm not going to make it. But an old pagan buddy is having her Yule party in the West Village, so that will be nice. There will probably be more holiday parties eventually, but sadly I can't do one of my own anymore. Its just too much work and not enough space. But I do get a solid two weeks off for Winter Break, so I hope I'm healthy enough to go to other ppl's parties this year.


Was looking over con plans for 2014, and after the PA trip earlier this month I'm not sure of ALL THE CONS is such a great idea now. On the other hand, I was already a bit sick when I went to PA. I'm already booked and paid for Arisia, so that's a go. And I'm still leaning towards Dexcon in July, even tho I tend to be sick on 7/4 (then again, I'm *home* on 7/4). So if I just add those to the year, that's three times more cons than usual. Otherwise, I think it might be more worth it to just make an effort to be more social and geeky in NYC, where I know all of my gluten-challanged food options, and I already have a train ticket and a place to sleep.

Maybe that would be a good re-framing exercise. "Am I too tired to go to this thing that's out of the house tonite/this weekend? Well, would it be more or less taxing than going to a new convention in another state?"

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (will thelemic)
Having another very brain-foggy Monday. Not sure if this is due to a post-Halloween sugar crash, a weekend cleaning binge, or the DST time traveling yesterday. Or if its just a normal Monday. *shrugs*

Today I impulse-bought a pendant from a friend's jewelry shop called "Saturn Return". I had not realized that amethyst and fluorite were Saturnine stones. (And luckily, there was room in the budget for it :-P) This helped motivate me to look more into Saturn-focused sorcery, which I've been drifting into b/c of the greatest caveat of magic: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Illness and fatigue are also very Saturnine themes. So I'm looking into the more proactive aspects of that planetary/deity aspect to see if there's something I'm missing. And one of the proactive bits: Following a restrictive diet. The archetype has clearly embraced me, so maybe I should make sure I'm not fighting it and making myself more tired. And obviously it started in the later half of my Saturn Return, although it didn't end when the transit did.

Saturn, rings & things )

Yeah... I think I could get behind a more Saturnine disposition. I'd actually been thinking about it before, but not in terms of this archetype which makes it so much clearer. Even before the gamer-mob, I tended towards the path of least resistance b/c it seemed easier. And continued, b/c it meant spending less energy once I turned spoonie. Now I know the value of planning in advance towards spoon-saving later on. "I don't actually need to readdress this. It was already in the contract. Here it is to read again."

Now, I wonder at how ppl will react to my laying down the law early to avoid drama later on. I'm not really worried about it, b/c the people who know me know what I've been through, and I think the people whom I want to work with in the future would respect me and mah shiny new boundaries. But I'm still curious about what happens next. The world outside is often unkind to lady lawgivers.

Overall, I've seen that socializing does increase my energy (esp now that my makeup isn't secretly poisoning me). Not sure if *responsibility* for projects and other ppl will have the same effect tho. TruGeek was kindof a let down in that department, but then that wasn't a very structured project. Even my co-show-runner almost flaked two out of three events, but our DJ was always reliable, so give it 50/50? And my podcasting project won't require me to lug heavy things and lure an unreliable group of costumed people to a yuppie nightclub once a month. This is much more low-key.


The Saturn studies coincide today with articles about "omg occult is sho popular again!" Um... it never really stops being popular, but OK. Its making me wonder if I should try again to get into professional tarot reading. Tho I'd be a Saturnine fortune teller. Not "Here's what you want to hear in a floofily mysteirous tone" but "Hello I am your pseudo spiritual life coach *SMACK*". Everyone likes edgy now, right? Meh.


In other news, last week was pretty mixed. Samhain and Cleaning Frenzy )

Unfortunately, I did not remember that next weekend I won't *be* home, so I'll have to get ahead of my weekly chores this week after work. Including setting up my food situation for the weekend trip itself. At least the house is clean?

I haven't seen many interesting social offerings on my calendar yet, so I should be fine taking the week to myself, and then socializing like crazy at my friend's wedding this Sunday. I hope. They've been wonderful about having gluten free options, so hopefully that all works out for me. And I finally remembered to cancel the extra hotel reservation tonite, go me.

Also, during the weekend's cleaning/filing frenzy I FINALLY found the GI referral. Will call tomorrow and set up an appointment.

During the weekend I kept eating the chocolates I'd picked up, which were actually not dairy free. And I kept forgetting to take a lactase pill after, but I did eventually. Today I didn't take one at all, and when I remembered I had a bit of a tummy twinge, but otherwise not explosions. So either my lactose intolerance is less intolerant, or there wasn't much dairy in those candies to begin with. Either way, more questions about my insides, I hope this new doc is ready for the onslaught.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
Was feeling mostly OK today, but now my brain seems torn about whether its awake or asleep. Meh.

Really, REALLY poor sleep for the last week. Attack of the heaters & alpha waves )


Really REALLY need to do some housecleaning soon. Upkeep )

At least being so uber-frustrated with my life again led me into a ton of rage-sewing, Finish projects, cut ties )

Will also have to pull out some jewelry supplies this weekend to make wedding gifts, but that shouldn't be so bad. Oh, and my own jewelry for wedding-con, which will be light since I made the whole friking costume myself. *sigh* I've also considered raiding my own stock bins for relevant shinies, cuz its not like anyone's purchased them yet.

Not feeling any pressing need to get back into jewelry right now, aside from this obligation. And now cutting sewing out of my daily life as well. Wondering if I need to add my writing project to the Samhain Sacrifice as well, but then what do I have left? And I am effectively cutting the other projects *for* this other thing. And its the only one that doesn't feel like an obligation now (yet?). I'm also very tired of going to gatherings and having only CF and gluten to talk about, eeek. At least once I get the writings together, it becomes a more social, communal art form after that. And hopefully I'll have the energy to keep up with it.

I guess I'm back to the plan/hope of building myself up to a point where the occasional setback (or SUMMER) doesn't completely paralyze me for weeks/months at a time. And at least writing requires less physical labor than the craft stuff, including wrangling and hauling and shopping for the craft stuff. Its nice having my desk cluttered with stuff that I don't feel guilty about ignoring, b/c its not jewelry supplies.

This week's tarot )

Keeping this week pretty wide open aside from the Witch-stuff on Thursday night. I thought there was also a goth party that night, but can't find it on FB now. Might be a post-Halloween Brooklyn outing on Saturday if I feel OK, might be a Wednesday nite movie if I can still get tix (spazzed out, so probably not). Tuesday Ima try to finish some crafty stuff if I can.

Still too warm to wear my now finished Doom Coat during the day. @#!$#^!#$!@$%~!!!!!!!!!! Will probably wear it to work on Wednesday anyway, to see how it will hold up for Thursday. Otherwise, pretty vintage cut dress + cat ears = enough Halloween for mees.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
I've been recovering surprisingly well from DCon this week. Despite con itself, starting the new earlier work schedule, and getting my pest-control-anxiety triggered. Well, the third might be why I'm groggier today than I had been, so meh.

Ordered some online fripperies since I've been home. Fripperies, next DCon, groceries. )


I am seeing news in the lives of some old-demons that is making me kinda cranky. I am hoping to use this crankiness to propel me into greater awesome, rather than make passive aggressive statements on FB (well, aside from this one). At least until I crashed today, darnit.

As I think I mentioned before, it was also annoying not to have any finished projects to tell ppl about at DCon. Now some part of my brain is all "BUT WE ONLY HAVE A YEAR TO FINISH THESE AWESOME IDEAS!!!" *sigh*

Overall, I think I'm going to take my tarot-forecast's suggestions and not push myself to work on these ideas until October. Just enjoy some slow, languid sewing, maybe put more jewelry blog posts up. Chill out and enjoy the autumn power-up without burning myself out :-P. And I have been feeling it, today has just been weird. B/c BUGS. ARGH.



And as for other cons, I'm now 99% sure I'm going to Arisia in 2014, and that will be my con for winter. I figured getting one in quarterly would spread out spoons and monies pretty well. Spring is undecided, summer is obv DCon, autumn will probably be PhilCon *next* year, since this November I have a "Wedding Con" ;-)

This weekend I'll buy an Arisia membership, then see if my trusted associate and I can score a room when the blocks open on 9/10. Tho I'll need to ask ppl if we need to get there on Thursday, or if Friday doesn't really start until sundown. Then maybe I can shave a day off room costs. Tho it would also be nice to have a full night of sleep between travel & con.

Train tickets could be anywhere from $100 to $300 round trip, and I don't really see a difference in trip quality as explained on Amtrak's website (length, time of day, wifi, etc), so I'd rather book all-the-things sooner than later to get cheaper train tix. Tho I guess I could also just book the train first, I don't think this is the sort of con that sells out all its rooms in 15 mins?


And this weekend some friends are planning to stop by the chantry to pick up and drop off various items of import, and hopefully hang out for a bit. This seems like an excellent excuse to bake brownies and do some extra cleaning. And re-do the balcony curtains, but this time with velcro instead of epoxy :-P All the more reason to hit Costco tonite so I can stay in all day Saturday. And a fantastic excuse to put off the laundry until after they visit :-)

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
I've felt strangely not-awful this week. Despite the cleaning binge & all the rains (tho there have been migraine teases, I have meds for that), I am still a functional person, and my energy levels seem to be going up a bit.

So I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out why, hoping its not a random phenomenon:
Why so awake? )

My tummy is still grouchy, but I'm learning how to deal with the new weirdness. But my skin is also breaking out more this week. And when the CF started gaining traction in my life, my skin became abnormally clear for me. That indicated that my problem might be hormonal, which indicated that it might be my thyroid, but common medical industry practice is "F#$% your problems if they don't show up on our tests the way we say they're s'posed to." So while my thyroid looks inflamed on an ultrasound, my blood tests are in the 'normal' rage, so f#$% me.

And wasn't I super sleepy for the last two weeks? And now I'm more awake than usual. Hmph. Body, you need a better manner of communication. "Owch" and "Zzzzz" just aren't enough.



Thanx to newfound energy and a bit more focus, I'm working on my usual summer backlog at work, and finally remembered to order my plane tix for Dragoncon. And I'm making a more focused effort to find roommates, that involves me *writing down* interested parties and details in case my brain shuts down again.

But DCon in two+ months isn't enough for me, I wanna be geeking out nooooow. So I'm looking into geeky meetups in NYC. Looking For Group )

That's odd now that I think about it. My brain has a few extra spoons to work with, and its all RESEARCH CONS instead of WRITE SCRIPTS. Will mull this over. I still haven't had a moment to sit down and mull/meditate over the Sedonia stuff in the privacy of my own home, b/c things. Maybe I'll finally get that together tonite. And more thinking on whether or not I'll remain a hermit, but the lack of social offerings in NYC that don't start *after* my bedtime in far off boroughs may keep that a slow gradual process.

Lol, yesterday I had more spoons, but was teetering into a bad mood (b/c reasons), and suddenly remembered that I could text a local Village-centric friend to see if they wanted to hang out after work. And we did! And had Bareburger, on LaGuardia but I just made sure not to order a (cricket) salad with my burger. Good idea, considering the rest of the week will be rained out. And still got home after hanging out/dinner with more than enough time to fold excess laundry and get ready for bed. And falling asleep was a bit harder again due to "OMG AWAKE" but otherwise I slept OK.

And weird dreams happened )

This weekend is Dad's Day, and I was waiting for a verdict on that before making other plans. And the fam wants to come into Queens for Bareburger on Sunday, so I have time for more stuff aside from chores. That could be cutting fabric for the DCon costume, or more weird baking experiments, haven't decided yet. Oh, and some extra cleaning tasks that didn't work out last week for one reason or another.

I'm going to try limiting my sewing habit to 3 hours per weekend, and hopefully I'll get the B5 dress done by LDW without burning myself out. But that will include a mockup/muslin of the jacket part. Will see how this works out. There are some other light-costuming bits I'd like to finish from the project bin, but I'm not entirely sure I have places to wear them yet. *shrugs*

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: Queen of the Cat People, class with a cult following. (Default)
That was pretty much my weekend. With a dash of socializing, which was nice.

I had a few chores slated for the weekend, but at some point (Saturday?) I suddenly decided my longer to-do list of things just needed to get done already. Like a debt snowball in my brain, tasks that seemed complicated or carried emotional baggage/anxiety were taking up a lot of space and energy in mah brain, and I would not be free until they went away. So my accomplishments list is a bit crazier this week.

Accomplishments! )

Even with the stuff I didn't complete, I've done a LOT of unf#$%ing of my space since MDW. And now there's room on top of the fridge for more kitchen gizmos. Yay/ohnoes!


For all the work I did this weekend, and OMG my back hurt by Sunday night, and I still had to finish the dishes and laundry, I do not feel like a wreck today. Health, post unF***ing )

That was nice tho, having ppl come over to visit me. Tho one kept getting bothered by my balcony curtain. I am still not sure about the hermit thing, but at least my home is more comfy for visitors.

Speaking of hermitting, this week's tarot forecast is ... dramatic on the subject:

TAROT! )

This weeks plans ... don't really have anything specific yet. May work on some of the bits of housework I didn't get to over the weekend. Or just relax and do the Sedonia work I didn't get around to over the weekend. Hopefully the move to clean came out of my emotional unpacking, and wasn't a resistance-ploy to keep me from working on it further, which I had planned to do last weekend. Not sure how comfy it will be to hang out in WSP given all the rain that might happen. Also not sure what's going on for Dad's Day this year. Hopefully no energy crashes.

Oh, and I have to get plane tix and roommates for DragonCon. But thanx to my year-round tithes to the dragon (via online savings account) it should be financially OK this year. But I need to write down my ppl-interactions on it, b/c otherwise Ima forget who's interested, again :-/ Darnit brainfog!
chrysilla: (clothes)
My goodness, I feel like I have enough energy for a brief (I hopes) shopping trip tonite. OMG.

Was going to shop Wednesday, but being without after-work noms I wasn't sure I'd make it. So I picked up a bag of potato chips (and a Kind Bar I couldn't eat, b/c I make bad decisions when my blood sugar is low), and sat in the park reading about pagan glamour until I was sure of what I was up for. And I sat there for over an hour, and that's what I was up for, and then I went home. It was really nice tho. An after work habit I would like to partake in more often :-) Which means either developing dinner-boxes, or a rich after work snack that can tide me over until its time to go home.

Also, yay sexxy new boots, but booo having to break them in. I'm starting to wonder if I have the energy to do that much walking. Whups.


Realized last night that while I've been more tired and sleepy overall lately, I'm also less anxious overall. Except for the bug incursion, of course, but then I also recovered from that in record time. So tentative yay. Tho last night I jerked awake a few times (SUGAR! AAARGH!), I *don't* feel like I haven't slept at all today. And of course, now that I'm comfy with my new wake-up schedule, I have to wake up an hour early tomorrow for my allergy shot. *shrugs*

So... is THIS what detox feels like? )

Also this week, more confirmation that refined sugars, not just chocolate, are bad for me before bedtime. B/c they add to the "Hey its bedtime, lets wake up and do stuff!" pattern that I can sometimes get around, but would rather just not deal with at all. I also think I may be crashed out on Monday & Tuesday *also* b/c of my store-bought meringues habit on the weekend. Only for the last couple of weeks, but I hope that means I can fix it as quickly.


Since I'm trying to cut back on sugar, I'm also slowly succumbing to the desire for ice cream. The siren song of sweet noms )

Tonite's shopping trip will be to Home Depot (after eating a Kind Bar that *won't* hurt me), to get stuff for the balcony and bathroom fixing-up. I realized that with all the Greek & Egyptian styled pretend artifacts I have for the space already, I can just stick with that theme. So light colors and subtle patterns. If I repaint the non-folding table I'll probably just redo the white. And that will make plants stand out if I ever have a garden out there again.

Still looking for an "acrylic" medium to seal the "hydrostone" pieces I got at NYRF, but I have some contacts to follow up with that. The vendor doesn't have a website, of course. Blah. But the main goal is to put up the curtain vs. creepy neighbor, the other stuff isn't such a big deal. Will probably get that at my nearby BBB, but I don't want to have to wait for a new one of their coupons.



I'm trying to figure out if all the housework is an overhanging annoyance that really needs to be fixed for the sake of my mental health, or just a distraction from creative projects I used to enjoy b/c of some kind of stage fright (despite the absence of a stage). I guess I feel less horrible since finishing the balcony clean up? But I was feeling more sleepiness at bedtime before that happened. Meh, does not compute yet.

And a new home project is always cropping up, it seems, each time I finish another one. Current list: balcony fixes, bathroom fixes, sweep/wash the inside floors, clean the kitchen (esp top of fridge), and do a makeup purge (yay for soyish and glutenous makeup :-P).



In other news, I think I've done a good job at retooling my wardrobe. It seems like all the things I have for daily wear now make me feel pretteh without too much effort. And putting together my work week outfits in advance is definitely helping me utilize things that I usually forget I have when its 8am. But yah, sitting in WSP with a book and feelin pretteh, that's a nice thing to do when the rest of your day is very zombie-like.



This weekend I'd also like to take some time to just sit with my Sedona book and see what I can do with those techniques when I'm in private. Thus far, I'm always either at work or on the subway. The chapter that didn't make sense on Tuesday was better today, given that I'm still a bit numb but not sleep deprived.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (bb accounts)
Feeling pretty low energy today, but I haven't slept enough the last couple nights, so *shrugs*. Also still headachey, but I'm not sure if its weather, allergies, extra sugar on the weekends, delayed pms, or wha. Maybe its a combo deal. I can stop buying meringue cookies on the weekends (am already doing better with less chocolate intake) but there's not really any way to fix the other things.

Most of my mind/body is all "Ugh, can we go back to bed now?" But some part of it keeps playing high energy goth club music over and over in my brain, so its kinda uncomfortable and confusing.

Also realized that I haven't been tracking my energy levels on weekends, so should work on that. But I am still getting extra things done around the house, so that's nice.

Accomplishments! )

Wondered this weekend if all the house work is a distraction from my creative stuff, a way to fill the void in my life b/c I just don't feel creative, a procrastination technique towards same, or what. In the end, I don't think having a cleaner home will hurt me, so might as well keep working on it.



The junk mail shredding is part of why I was up until 2am on Sunday, instead of 11-12ish as planned. I had to keep waiting for the dumb shredder to wake back up every 10-15 mins. And suddenly it was quite late. Argh. Zombie mode pwns Sedonia, whups. ) Being less emotionally f'ed up overall will definitely add to one's overall spoon supply, and may help a lot with stress-related illnesses not happening so much, but its not an instant fix. And we still all have bad days.


Was going to rethink hermitting this week, when last week went haywire, but I can't really think right now. I'm going to acupuncture tonite, but I'm not sure if I want to go out or stay in for the rest of the week. And 'Can't Stop the Serenity' is Saturday, and was tempting, until I rememberd "O ya, gluten. Meh." So probly not.

This weekend I'm going to try to either make two loaves of banana bread, or one banana and one carrot (experiments, yay?) so I have more easy-to-transport snacky things during the week. So if I feel up to hanging out in the park after work, I don't have to go forage for noms first. Would also like to try the home projects that didn't work out last weekend, including a trip to Home Depot for some stuff.

I got my new boots today, yay! So that is some more incentive to be out of the house tomorrow. Tried them on at work, but I'm wearing the wrong socks and outfit for the new sexxyboots, so will start breaking them in tomorrow.


Also, after defeating the junk mail monster, I'd like to start unloading my big basket of books at the Strand again. Since I kinda forgot that project for ... three months? *sigh* More going outside, was bound to happen eventually. I also need to mail an internet friend all the DW books he claimed in my Discardia photo drive, and deal with all the leftover bottles of alcohol. Those will probably end up in the garbage, b/c ppl don't remember to visit me that often. But we'll see.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
Basically all of the other interesting and nice things to come about in the last two days have been overshadowed by waking up this morning to find a big f'ing roach in my front hallway this morning. But b/c the light bulb had gone out yesterday morning, and I hadn't had the energy to fix it last night, I first had to find a flashlight and spray before approaching the ick. I'd also left my boots in the hallway instead of in the closet 2 feet to the left, increasing anxiety, b/c MY BOOTS. After spraying it to death, it took me a half hour to pick it up with large cardboard flats and throw it in a nearby garbage back, then tossed in the garbage room. In the meantime I kept on a steady panic level while getting ready for work, and even put a stepstool *over* the death scene to change the light bulb.

Unfortunately, I wasn't really innured enough with Sedona method, or even far enough along in the book, for it to work that well. Extended report of FREAKING THE F#$% OUT. )

So before that, Wednesday was shaping up as better/more interesting than Tuesday. I *was* feeling better :-P )


And y'know, all this in the wake of my balcony triumph. Remember the good times, lil' anxious Chrysilla...


Still trying to figure out why my anxiety was a lot worse today than it was the last time this exact same thing happened (... I think? dammit brainfog). The Sedonia book sez that when u start releasing emotions, new ones start to pop up that were buried under the others, and stuff can get more intense. Oh F#$% this.

I was considering cutting back on hermitting after this week, but despite possible problems with my chantry now, I really don't feel like I have the energy. Tho b/c this is the first exceptional anxiety attack I've had since I started my energy gauge, I really don't know where I'm at. Everything's a jumble of panic and tired.

And remember when I used to be able to make myself feel better by treating myself to a restaurant dinner for one? Not really possible anymore.

Me = not winning afterall. :-/

<3 Chrysilla


ps, I'm starting to think I should call my "Paleo Diet" template the "1940s Diet" instead. B/c then my inner science geek can stop being so embarrassed.

pps, My neighborhood friend can put me up for the nite if I'm freaking out, but he'll be out for most of the evening. At a restaurant I'm invited to, but I'm not sure I can eat at. So... will succumb to the cleaning-frenzy, see if the Sedona/CBT combo can get me to sleep in my own bed tonite, and if not I'll go sleep on his couch. So that's some yay :-)
chrysilla: (witch)
Today's been... weird. I'm back up to a '2' now, but at the beginning of the day and before lunch I was all the way down to '1' as in "Should I use a sick day? No, not actually symptomatic of anything. *SIGH*" Low energy, high brainfog, and an annoying behind-the-eyes headache (migraine?) all day.

I went to bed at 11pm-ish, and my alarm went off at 7:30am. But at 5am some random noises woke me up for a while. Eventually I got back to sleep, but by 7:30 I was in a very intense kind of dream cycle, so I felt all kinds of f'ed up when the alarm went off. This morning it felt like I hadn't slept at all, except that I think I got about 7 or 8 hours at least. Srsly? I wonder if I'd be feeling better if I'd just gotten up at 5am. Wth, brain? But this doesn't happen when I wake up at 4am and fall right back to sleep. On the other hand, a rainstorm also rolled in today (did I feel it before I could see it? meh, this is not a superpower I want), and I'm definitely in the PMS sector of my calendar. So Ima cross my fingers for sleep tonite and see what happens :-P



And this is all a huge shame, b/c all weekend I was AMAZING at being functional and productive. OMG. All the accomplishments!! )

So after cleaning the balcony on Saturday (OMG YAY) I am still sore four days later. But after reading a blogpost about the wonders of magnesium I had picked up some epsom salts, and figured that achy Sunday nite would be a good time to try them out. My legs and back still hurt but I was more spaced out and happy-fuzzy after. At least I didn't feel worse? I *think* I slept a bit better, but its hard to remember right now. Definitely slept longer on Monday morning than I did on the other days. Srsly, I woke up at 9am on Sunday and couldn't really deal with that fact. I think that's what drove me to the sewing, internal confusion.


Also, my books from Amazon got dropped in the library mailbox Friday afternoon, so I got them this morning. Am trying out a book on the "Sedona Method" for my mental/emotional health. So far its mostly the author talking about how great he & his method are, and I'm having trouble concentrating b/c migraine, so... meh. I'm sure he'll get to something helpful eventually.

Tarot forecast! )

Still not sure about when I'm going to ease off on hermitting. Astrological omens seem good for getting back out in the world starting this weekend, but I still feel like I'm missing something. Actually, right now I just feel like I have a migraine, so I guess we'll see how I feel tomorrow. Oooow.

I have figured out many things, but according to my newish energy-gauge my levels have gone down pretty steadily. But I'm getting more stuff done too. I don't get it.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (clothes)
I think Ima make one of those "Care and Feeding of teh Me" posts sometime soon. So whenever someone asks "What/why XYZ with you?" I can just say, look, here's a list already posted to teh internets. Hooray. Like an Unwellness Resume.

Been having some low points this week, of the emotional sort. Then I remembered that this might be PMS week, and they became less pointed, so that's good. But mostly about "What if this *doesn't* have a fix, what if I'm just struggling and spaced out forever?" And ... I don't really have an answer for that right now, so I'm just going to ignore it until I do. Not the healthiest action, but its the only one I have the brain cells for right nao :-P


In more fun (yet still angst-related) news, someone is making a contemporary Jane Eyre vlog series in the style of LBD. OMG FEELS )

Its been trenchcoat & boot weather this week, so that's actually been very pleasant. Also, helped me come to the conclusion that I really need to replace my docs ASAP, b/c I'm tired of worrying about getting trenchfoot from NYC puddles :-P And I realized I can still keep my old Docs, and dress them up for costuming somehow, if I have that much energy ever again. And I think I'm going to risk the Macy's website to get a different style of tall docs than my old pair, b/c I have gift certificates and card-holder discounts (to offset possible future new zipper surgery). And then I'll just have to cross my fingers that they don't screw me over on delivery again.


Health wise, things have been a bit odd this week. More tired = Yay? )

Feeling sleepier at night also means that when I finally got my newly ordered cheap dresses home, I totally forgot to try them on. *sigh* Possible sewing adventures )

I really, REALLY need to just finish the balcony. C'mon Chrysilla, just suck it up and do it already. Get the things at the home stores, throw out the old stuff, scrub the floor with that nice scrubby broom, put the new stuff outside. The End. You've got a whole extra day to recover from it this weekend. And then one less annoying thing to worry (and blog) about. So hopefully I don't crash out between now and Tuesday.

B/c of the pre-holiday hour off we get in my office, I get to go home at 5pm. Getting me back to my neighborhood 2 hours earlier than usual for a Friday, so all of those nice stores will still be open. Ima try to do all of those things tonight if I can, between home stores and groceries, but at the very least I need to pick up my prescriptions and some noms. Then I can stay in my building all weekend, and just work on household stuff and sleeping.


Is there some way to practice at sleeping until I get better at it? I'm unconscious while its happening, so I've never been able to figure out how.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
I feel better today than I have for a few weeks, at least body-wise. Nothing hurts, my tummy is behaving, and I keep accidentally slamming doors and walking too fast. Sadly my brain is still all fogged up. So the four day weekend for birfday did help, tho I wasn't entirely productive during the vacation, but that was kinda the point.

Work was a lot quieter than usual on my 12-2 shift, since its the last day of finals and commencement is tomorrow. But a bunch of cough-ers just showed up this afternoon and its starting to get on my nerves. Oh well, can't win. Tomorrow summer hours start and I get to have the same bedtime for more worknights.


Yay, my birthday happened last weekend! Birthday (low key) Fun! )

I said I'd reevaluate my hermit status around my b'day, and as of now I think I'm going to keep going for a couple more weeks. I've figured a lot of stuff out (diet, anxiety, etc), but I still feel like I'm missing something(s). Other things need to be figured out still. Including things I probably haven't thought of yet. Will reevaluate again around June 1st.

Evaluations )

And I'm getting over teh food. )

I've done sho much tarot over the last few weeks that I decided not to do any specifically for my b'day. The Beltane readings covered plenty of 'this oncoming year' stuff. And my brain was a bit foggy, even after such a nice celebration on Sunday. But I still did my weekly forecast:

Tarot! )

As for mundane-ness, I think I'm going to try a spicy meatball recipe that didn't go so great a few weeks ago, but instead turn it into a meatloaf this weekend. Meatloafs are better at retaining teh juices. And much less labor-intensive than meat balls :-P

And this weekend might finally be the one where I tackle the balcony. B/c soon it will be too warm outside, and its annoying when the cleaning solution evaporates while I'm trying to scrub. Dad took out the large planter that they'd given me a few seasons ago, so that's one less thing to roll around while trying to clean. And another b'day pressie was a couple of small outdoorsy folding tables from Ikea, which will be very easy to put away for future hurricanes. F'ing hurricanes.

I feel so dumb for not using the balcony for anything since it was screened in, in *September*, but that's chronic fatigue for ya :-P. But I'm pretty sure this lagging project is another source of stress for me, and not one that's nearly as difficult to fix as part of me feels it will be. Also, three day weekend, so extra recuperation time.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (witch)
Its another long, slow Monday night at work full of coughing patrons. But after tonight, no more Monday nites until June, b/c I'm taking off for my b'day next week, and the week after is Memorial Day. And after that, its summer session, and hopefully most of the coughing patrons will be off and away. So ... one more night.

I really hope summer session helps me reset my system some more, and set up some new habits. Like working on photo/writing stuff while on the circ desk, getting a more regular sleep cycle for a few months, etc. Becoming less cranky about patrons in general. At least I hope its not *more* stressful, that may be the summer of 2014. There's a plan to replace all of the windows on our floor, which are all floor to ceiling and make up almost the whole outer wall of the library. Not sure if they'll shut us down for that this time, tho.


The weekend was ... adequate. Indian food is magical? )

And the plan is to do combined MomsDay/CrisDay stuff on this coming Saturday, since I'll have a four day weekend and hopefully not be too ded tired to enjoy myself outside like this weekend. Might get a couple of (light, folding) things for the balcony, its too bad I was in no state to work on that space this weekend. The rainy weather is actually great for that. Oh well.


I found a little sketch pad I was no longer using for ideas (b'c I don't really have many of those anymore) and am starting to use it as a food journal this week. If my brain really does need a less fibrous, more-complex-than-plain-sugar type of carbohydrate to function, I will figure out which one hurts the least. Am also working on eating less fresh fruit/veg to see if my tummy settles. Counter-intuitive for spring, but welcome to my life.


And this is our tarot forecast: Tarot pic! ) Hopefully good omens for creative work. And y'know, birthday. I will settle for being awake enough to remember to meditate and do some yoga.

Was going to try and organize some written script bits this evening, but just spaced out instead. *shrugs* I'm considering going on a blog-fast for a few weeks and reading through the collection of short story collections I keep at the office, b/c the blogs were just too distracting tonite. I think my brain needs more complexity in its input, and not just food-wise.

Still not balanced. Don't really have anything to balance *with* yet. But I'm feeling a tiny bit better than last week, so hopefully this is the start of good things.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
I think this is the beginning of Hardcore Hermitting Week Four, and ... I almost am starting to feel better?

Its difficult to gauge, I think I'd be feeling better if I hadn't been sick last weekend. And between illness and world-wide news last week, I was pretty ready to go home Friday night and stay in my chantry until the world's proper end. But my neighbor-friend tempted me two blocks away to his house with grass fed beef shin and properly cooked bone marrow, and probably some plant matter that I don't remember. My stomach couldn't get thru all of it, but I think I ate most and didn't explode, so yay for that.

He also got me started on Hemlock Grove, for better or worse. Its VERY Twin Peaks like, to the point where I think they played a remix of the theme music during the school-dance scene in episode 2. It has the same weird ungainly mix of pacing, where some bits are just so f'ing boring and pointless, and other parts you need to rewind and turn on the subtitles to figure out what just happened. A lot more graphic than TP, with much better special effects, and more teenage drama thrown in. Also, lots of characters vomiting, I guess that's supposed to make it more edgy. *shrugs* Got a bit more than halfway through this weekend, will probably finish it next weekend.


Things happened other than tv this weekend. Accomplishments )

Sadly, no creative beading/writing work got done this weekend. But I half expected that due to being sick last week. I did dream of packing up lots of beads and jewelry supplies Saturday nite, tho, to take with me somewhere or other. Don't remember any other details. I did re-pack a bunch of the new materials into my traveling bead kit for this week. Yay new necklaces in strange new color combos. Maybe someday I'll remember to photograph the pile of pieces I've already completed.


This week's focus is to read the books I already have on treating anxiety problems. New Brain-Hacking )

This week's tarot reading looks dramatic but hopeful: Tarot! )

Also mulling over b'day plans. Maybe go for dinner with ppl in a Chrys-safe restaurant, and then go to see the new Star Trek movie? But this would be 5/18, and I'm not sure which of my friends will not have already seen it by Saturday.

Beltane is coming up, and I just don't give a f#$%. Another reminder to change the salt-bowl. Tho I'm tempted to make this year's prayer something along the lines of "No, F#$% YOU universe!!" *sigh* Its a 'school' nite anyway. Some friends' b'days are the following weekend, fun but I'll probably only be able to do one.

But here I am, and I will keep on keepin' on for another week. I actually feel kinda impatient right now, like I'd rather be at home doing creative stuff than here at work. Tho if I *were* suddenly home, that's no guarantee that I'd actually do anything. Still pretty brain fogged, so who knows.

<3 Chrysilla

Today's Health Rating:

1-Horrible
2-Thud
3-Meh
4-OK
5-Yay?
6-Yay!
7-Old normal, YAY!

March 2017

S M T W T F S
   1234
5678 91011
12 13141516 1718
1920 2122232425
26 2728293031 

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 24th, 2017 07:06 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios