chrysilla: (dw Tardis)
Short version:

Dragoncon was kinda meh this year. But not due to illness or injury or meltdown, so not *that* meh. I tried some new things and ended up not liking them, which in the long run is still a good thing full of nerdy personal growth rather than suffering. Tho I got to see the fruition of a costume 8 years in the making, and now that is DONE. It also offered some insight into what I want/need from a convention geekend.

Overall, I need time to chat with people (and start that modern-calling-card thing so I can see them online laters), but also to absorb the stories of many, many creator-type persons to get my own creative engines revved for the next few months. Doesn't really matter what kind of creator- writers, filmmakers, musicians, fine artists, crafters, whatevs. And I didn't get much of that being told "you have to sit in this room for two hours to make sure you get to the costume contest on time."

I also need lots of dancing and music. I really fought my way towards the later and got what I needed, but the former was somewhat hampered by recent leg pain issues. Tho overall, a month of PT really helped with my resilience, so it wasn't as bad as I expected.

I still suck at finding friends at con, and making new ones, but if I were watching all-the-panels instead of sitting bored in a room full of strangers that wouldn't bother me so much.


Longer version: Read more... )

And this month, Arisia memberships and room blocks go on sale, yaaaaay! Not sure if I want to enter LoS into their costume contests tho, having learned my lesson at DCon. But I think more people will *get* the LoS costume at Arisia? Mebbe?
chrysilla: (bb accounts)
Was trying to get back into the once-a-week habit, but to be honest nothing much has happened since Arisia, b/c I've continued to be super burnt out.

Sleep stuff )
Job stuff )
Sewing & fabric stuff )

This upcoming weekend is MES larping, so Ima start my 'just two games' experiment to see if I get less hungover. Saturday afternoon and evening games for this weekend, but most months it will probably be the Friday and Saturday nite games. Spoon conservation, availability of IRC games, trips to Boston, and other factors involved in this idea.

Other than that ... no real plans. NYRSF is tomorrow, and since I'm not closing tonight I might be well rested enough to go. On the other hand, the city streets are clogged with snow and ridiculous slush puddles, and today I might have to ice skate home if nobody tries to fix that. I guess ppl were too sports-focused this weekend to freak out about the snowstorm, so I wasn't really prepared for this today. Not as bad as it could be, tho.

Acupressure keeps working. *shrugs* Got the recommended book, we'll see what else it can help with. The Reiki book was nonsense tho.

Tonight I do really need to wash the laundry, couldn't Sunday nite b/c I had a stomach problem that stopped me from sleeping well on Saturday nite. I hope the commute doesn't drain me past the point of ability. And with the laundry rack out, I can't cut out more sewing projects, so maybe if I'm home I can work on some housekeeping instead. The "Completely In/Active" resolution isn't going 100%, but I'm still working on it.


Got my BPAL Halloweenies in the mail today, so at least I can play with those tonite whether or not I'm functional. A friend stopped by over the weekend with a Yule she didn't like, but I did and bought it off her. That leaves only one Yule that I want to order, which I could also do tonight. And another LE, but its currently out of stock while the line doesn't go down until the 5th. I could order imps if I'm only getting one bottle, but I also like the idea of NOT doing that and spending less $$. Other ppl like having them for the season, but I find waiting for other ppl to review them saves me $$. Yaaay.


Weekend after next, probably taxes. B/c I <3 $$ more than boys right now (2/14), and I feel no shame for it. Wheeeee! Also probably more sewing and scrap-sorting.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
Yah, I have not been posting much. But then I post novels on fb, so maybe I should get back to the online journaling :) Some friends are questing to make Dreamwidth more hopping, so here's my contribution.

Lemme see... February... yes, that continued to suck. I was sick for most of it, and couldn't take time off b/c we were understaffed. We would not be up to fully staffed until August, just in time for me to have two or three sinus infections from late July through last week. *headdesk* So that's still a thing. I think I'm just allergic to summer.


In March, however, my social life took a tiny step forward. In which I rejoin my gamer geek brethren. )

So I'm larping again, and its given me the jump start I needed to get more active in my own life, but now its time to make larp not the only thing I do. There are options, but I'm having some trouble shifting gears.


Jewelry biz is still on hiatus. Tho I made some jewelry for larp costumes earlier this summer, which was a huge deal for me. But I'm still trying to figure out brain problems on that. Have not yet given up.

Sewing keeps on keeping on, but its not as creative for me as jewelry (tho lots of other ppl are super creative sewcialists, certainly). I keep binge-shopping for fabric, tho, and then put a moratorium on it for months at a time, which leads to more binging. Still trying to figure that out too. Making more effort to sew thru my stash rather than buying more stuff for a few months. Between things I want for fall/winter, Halloween, and Arisia, I have plenty of stuff lined up. Started taking 'sewing selfies' for all the linen skirts and knit hoodies I made this summer (and some nice larp costumes, of course), so I might start posting more of that here.

Podcast writing is also still at a standstill. My creative process is kindof broken, still want to get that together tho.

Psychological Evals )

Speaking of hyperfocus, I spent the last weekend entirely in the festival of Discardia. Hail Discardia! )

Jewelry supplies are now more focused geographically, same with fabric supplies plus they're more accessible, so I can do more of the one and buy less for the other hobby. Assuming I remember I have hobbies :-P But maybe with the right treatment I can get back to being creative. And I tried to condense extra linens + larp costume bits into one place, since those might go together next month. And I can take sewing-selfies in the hallway mirror without capturing Costco sized bags of tp in frame, yay?



Upcoming plans include going to NYCC with my Steampunk Babylon 5 cosplay group, going to Arisia this January, and maybe more trips to Boston for MES larps. I have a few cosplay projects I'll be working on for the next few months, maybe? On top of normal clothes I want to sew. SERE is in April but I'm still mulling it over. And there's one larp costume I'm still adding to. Well, one and a half.

Once the constant summer illnesses subside I'd like to start going back to goth clubs, maybe DoV, and would like to try Court of Lazarus again. Still need to try Wits End and Secret Speakeasy. I've become aDC Socials for the local MES group, so I'll be dragging myself and others to more (cheap/free) things, hopefully. KGB readings are kindof awkward for me b/c of the dinner afterwards, but I'd like to go back to NYRSF more regularly. And I'm trying to keep up with IAF meetups, tho the summer illnesses made that tough. And I'd like to see more improv shows, tho I'm not rejoining as a player, it just wasn't a good fit.

Not sure about DragonCon next year, though I do already have a ticket and a room reservation. This year kinda sucked, but all the preplanning in the world can't prevent a sinus infection before/during con :-P But I have plenty of time to think it over. It would be nice to get my creative projects relaunched so I have something to hawk while I'm there. Or get over my dislike of NYCC so I can just have that be my big con of the year. Its just not the same tho.


If there's anything I learned from the (failed) healing hermit quest I attempted in the Spring of 2013, its that I was secretly an extrovert the whole time. I actually need to be around people, and the free association of new ideas and wandering conversations, to get energized and inspired. Whups. That would explain why its easier to keep up with rpg stuff than my own business, there are other ppl already involved. Tho I space out on answering my gamer emails just as much as all the other kinds :-/

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
So that was a very disappointing February. Sheesh.

In the end I had that headcold/sinus thingie until last week, so about four weeks total. So much suck. Probably b/c I kept having to commute to work through all the blizzards that NYC kept getting smacked with, so I never had a chance to fully recover. Eventually I got to my allergist for antibiotics. And then one more big blizzard, and while we ended up closing at 3pm that Thursday it really made me crash out, especially as my coworkers had all called in sick that day. So I felt entirely justified in taking the next day, Friday, off to recuperate and let the antibiotics do their job. Was much better by Tuesday, b/c Monday was a holiday.

By the end of last week I started having a teeny bit more energy again, although the antibiotics were doing extra-drama on my stomach, so I took some otc meds for that and went out with a friend last Friday. Was very fun, full of geekiness and gossip and Chrysilla-friendly burgers.

But overall, very sad to have the good mojo I rekindled at Arisia completely dashed by weeks of illness, sinus infection + antibiotics (at least the cure wasn't worse than the disease).

The only other good thing of note to happen was going to see Coriolanus, part of the National Theater Live broadcast series at the NYU movie theater. Two thumbs up for Hiddles & Haddles, or as their slash name should be, Hiddle-Haddle :-D Overall, very good production.


There's also been more health data and ideas tumbling around in my head, since it kinda shoved its way center and kicked everything else out of my life this month. Health Stuff )

So, tldr- GERD and Gastritis, IBS cause unknown, sleep getting bad again, am going to try forcing myself to go out more to see if it makes me feel better. If it makes me feel worse, I can hopefully figure out *why* that is.


In terms of making myself go out more, Arisia + Cam gossip + friend a bit interested in larping is propelling me to try Cam Club again next weekend (as long as I don't get sick again, b/c ugh I've made that mistake before). I asked the Vamp VST for an NPC, b/c I don't feel up to making my own character yet. Besides, I dropped out of Cam before WW deigned to give us the actual larp rules and splat books for Requiem :-P I want to get my feet wet first. I'm a little worried about dealing with drama again, but at least I know the actual drama llamas of my past already turned their noses up at Cam a while ago, b/c they couldn't pull their usual bully tactics there.

As for other things, there's IAF, SFC, and NYRSF. And probably other initialisms I'm forgetting. In a pinch there's an improv theater. There's the free night at the Rubin museum which I keep meaning to try again. I've lost track of the few friends I saw regularly between holidays, con prep, a month of sick, and stuff they were busy with too. But they typically like an occasional evening out with nice food and company, and sometimes BPAL. Tho I might go light on that for a few weeks b/c my sinuses are still a bit mad. I ordered half my Lupers on 2/14, and it seems like there's a 2+ week delay on shipping them out. *sigh*

I've already been bringing my bead kit to work and doing constructive things on my lunchbreak. And started sewing a bit. And, um, bought some more patterns, with plans to buy fabric for two more projects (next month, b/c budget). But I've already managed to not go crazy on it, so that's good. Starting to lean more and more *away* from the giant-costume plan for DCon, and more towards a costume I already have fabric for, and one other that would be less-but-still-expensive that I already have a familiar pattern for. Regency & anime ftw, corsets optional.

As for DCon itself, New plan of attack? )

As for this week, my tarot seems to recommend I escape the brainfog at all costs:Tarot! )

So for going out this week: IAF is tomorrow, that's a definite. Cam Club on Saturday. And maybe Sci Fi on Thursday or a friend's craft night on Friday (except that she has dogs, and my sinuses are still sensitive, ugh I suck). In a pinch, there's improv on Wednesday, but with Mon and Tues both being late nights I should probably take that one off. Next weekend should be Browncoats, tho still iffy about hanging out in a restaurant where I probably can't eat anything. But I miss geekends and want more of them.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
O wow, two weeks with no proper update. Tho I did use Dreamwidth to take notes on my tummy history, b/c I finally saw the new GI last week, yay! After losing her number and forgetting to call since late January. Dumb brainfog.

Not much happened the week before my friend's wedding (weekend after my last update) b/c I was busy prepping and overall being stressed about travel. But it ended up really nice :-) WeddingCon! )

Last week was ... mixed. Was high on wedding goodwill, but because of the skin irritation the rest of the week put kindof a damper on me. And I had to make a trip to Wallmart for Rich Ppl Whole Foods to get gluten free body lotion and shower stuff. But at least the SoHo location keeps that in its own little area away from most of the annoyingness.

Wednesday I took a half day off so I could finally see my GI, and she is very nice. Didn't dismiss my "oxalates" discovery out of hand, and wants to do the standard list of uncomfortable diagnostic tests. She was actually pleased that I already knew a lot of what she was talking about (other doctors have gotten annoyed with me about that in the past). So the first uncomfortable test is next Monday, before Thanksgiving, b/c I just want to get it over with.

As for oxalates, Adventures in Research )

After the GI I had a therapy session scheduled, but I had a big block of time and there was an urgent-care facility between the offices, so I got my skin problem checked out. Probably TMI ) My one concern now is that if this is/was viral, and I was just at a *wedding*, I REALLY hope it wasn't contagious :-/ But at least it was short lived. And it wasn't bedbugs, phew.


Thursday I still felt skin-yuck, but teh Pooka managed to get me out of the house for the evening with another new friend. Leading to a WTF? moment at Bareburger on Laguardia, where there was a string of mixups about whether or not my *salad* was actually gf. And the confusion started *after* I'd eaten some of if. In the end, they comped my certified GF salad b/c of all of the freaking-me-out that happened. Not as bad as the dead-grasshopper-salad incident, but still, wth Bareburger? And then we went to a nice cafe in the East Village, where the server was very kind about all my food issues. Ironically, feeding me gets *more* complicated in a vegan place b/c of my issues with dates, soy, and gluten. But overall a nice evening out :-)


This weekend started out OK, but kindof sputtered out. Forecast: BRAINFOG )

So today I'm still in zombie mode, but with a shiny new necklace at least. And somehow I made it to therapy on time which is not normal. Does not compute. I think the prednisone I was RX'ed is making me feel weird, but I want to finish out the bottle (Wednesday morning) to make sure the skin problem doesn't come back.

Its weird how I feel like I've come off a really rough week of something, and I really haven't. Its not even been a difficult Monday. Meh.


Realized I should start picking up Xmas gifts for teh fam while I'm having a fiscally responsible month with an extra payday. So that should be fun once I waketheFup. Tho it may be mostly gift certificates, b/c low spoons. If that changes right before Xmas I'ma feel like a jerk tho. Just trying to finish that necklace for *me* was a huge chore, I don't even want to think about making shinies for other ppl these days. Tho maybe that's the Rx talking again?

Also considering a BPAL order, but not a gigantic one. Maybe for Turkey Weekend. At first I thought it was stupidly crazy to type up my full collection into a .doc file, but it's actually been pretty useful for the last week. "That sounds nice, but do I have something similar already? Was that a note I didn't like?" Helped me whittle a list down to two items instead of six. Yaaaaay. I will take any excuse to feel clever these days.



Overall I think I've become steadily less stuff-oriented this year. Hail Discardia! )

I did manage to purge some old but pretty jewelry displays to give away (they just don't fit my style anymore), will photograph them for ppl to look at ... eventually. And I still have boxes of books and equipment to ship to friends who called dibs in *March*, so I really need to haul my butt to the post office. Ugh. My mail-scale still isn't working right, so maybe they'll be OK if I send them an invoice for s/h instead of checking with them first :-P


Last week I had new inklings for a puppet/video/youtube project but ... ugh. I really don't want new projects. I wanna finish the old projects. So am keeping this under my hat for now, tho I'll happily take notes in case I ever have that much energy again.

This week's tarot is very OMG BOOM DRAMA CHANGE OMG!See? )

Despite tarot forecast, I kinda just want to take it easy now. Tho that could still be the short-term Rx talking. I have my GI diagnostic next week, for which I'll have to spend the weekend in preparation (ugh), and then Turkey Day after that, and probably not much happening that weekend either. So there's still a part of my brain that's going 'OMG HAVE ALL THE FUN AND CREATIVE STUFF OR ELSE' but really... I just want to chill. I won't *know* anything new about my tummy until December anyway, so not interested in doing more dietary research.

I was hoping November would be a lot more productive in terms of projects and socializing after WeddingCon, but I couldn't help being sick, and now I want to get this medical stuff over with, so its being productive in its own way. I'm trying a controlled, temporary measure of "F#$% it, I give up" for a couple weeks until then. If I socialize or write stuff, awesome, if not then whatevs.


Unfortunately, I'm also starting to rethink my '2014 MOAR CONS' plan, Con = tired )

Now that I think of it, taking a couple of weeks off from actively trying to restart my life may be the change I actually need. Then I can start fixing things again if I feel better after that. But then if it takes me *this* long to recover from a trip to PA, maybe more cons isn't such a great idea afterall.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
I've been recovering surprisingly well from DCon this week. Despite con itself, starting the new earlier work schedule, and getting my pest-control-anxiety triggered. Well, the third might be why I'm groggier today than I had been, so meh.

Ordered some online fripperies since I've been home. Fripperies, next DCon, groceries. )


I am seeing news in the lives of some old-demons that is making me kinda cranky. I am hoping to use this crankiness to propel me into greater awesome, rather than make passive aggressive statements on FB (well, aside from this one). At least until I crashed today, darnit.

As I think I mentioned before, it was also annoying not to have any finished projects to tell ppl about at DCon. Now some part of my brain is all "BUT WE ONLY HAVE A YEAR TO FINISH THESE AWESOME IDEAS!!!" *sigh*

Overall, I think I'm going to take my tarot-forecast's suggestions and not push myself to work on these ideas until October. Just enjoy some slow, languid sewing, maybe put more jewelry blog posts up. Chill out and enjoy the autumn power-up without burning myself out :-P. And I have been feeling it, today has just been weird. B/c BUGS. ARGH.



And as for other cons, I'm now 99% sure I'm going to Arisia in 2014, and that will be my con for winter. I figured getting one in quarterly would spread out spoons and monies pretty well. Spring is undecided, summer is obv DCon, autumn will probably be PhilCon *next* year, since this November I have a "Wedding Con" ;-)

This weekend I'll buy an Arisia membership, then see if my trusted associate and I can score a room when the blocks open on 9/10. Tho I'll need to ask ppl if we need to get there on Thursday, or if Friday doesn't really start until sundown. Then maybe I can shave a day off room costs. Tho it would also be nice to have a full night of sleep between travel & con.

Train tickets could be anywhere from $100 to $300 round trip, and I don't really see a difference in trip quality as explained on Amtrak's website (length, time of day, wifi, etc), so I'd rather book all-the-things sooner than later to get cheaper train tix. Tho I guess I could also just book the train first, I don't think this is the sort of con that sells out all its rooms in 15 mins?


And this weekend some friends are planning to stop by the chantry to pick up and drop off various items of import, and hopefully hang out for a bit. This seems like an excellent excuse to bake brownies and do some extra cleaning. And re-do the balcony curtains, but this time with velcro instead of epoxy :-P All the more reason to hit Costco tonite so I can stay in all day Saturday. And a fantastic excuse to put off the laundry until after they visit :-)

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (dw Tardis)
So... yah. Happened. I survived, and better than I would have expected, even after unexpected injuries.

Good things! )

Bad things )

Mixed things )


After the bad slip-and-fall shock on Saturday, I started having a bit of a DCon crisis of faith. Not a horrible thing, b/c it is just a con in the end, but it wasn't fun. But if 2013 was the year I figure out whether I can afford DCon *physically*, the findings are mixed at best.

For next year, I could get a handicap sticker and then 'ninja' my way around con. Avoid all or most of the giant-line events (excluding Fraggles), avoid crowds and get to the smaller indie panels and interesting things via back doors. On one hand, ppl don't really ask to photograph your costume if they don't see you. On the other, the Marriot floor was so ridiculously crowded that there was barely any room for photos. On FRIDAY. Ugh.

I already have a room reserved at the Westin, but if I change my mind I can get my deposit back. Whether I change to a different hotel or decide to skip next year.

I was less interested in swag as I expected (at least in retrospect), so I'm vaguely planning to keep a room entirely for myself next year. Maybe. We'll see. I might be willing to charge someone only 1/4 of the room cost if they get the floor or the rollaway, and I can keep the GIANT king sized bed to myself. Split 50/50 we share the bed. The rollaway wasn't that uncomfortable, but based on the terrible sleep I got on Thursday and Sunday nights it might be worth it?

It's hard to tell what DCon is worth, financially and physically, when I was to physically wrecked to enjoy it until Sunday this year. But maybe by next year I'll have some new project to show off and network for, so it might be more worth it by then?

And of course, my brain is already working out next year's costume. Which may include a lobster tail bustle. B/c I'm nutz. *headdesk*

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: BEADS!!!!!! (bead bunny)
My energy levels continued to fluctuate for the rest of Friday, but at least my tummy settled down over the weekend. And remembered my vitamins, so headaches have been mild this week.

Did not get around to all of teh projects, but I did complete most of my chores. After putting together my weekly outfits, I went into my closet to see if I could also do my DCon outfits without doing the laundry first. Yes, apparently, tho I'll still need to do laundry *this* weekend before con for some easy-to-dry items.

Managed to work on some long-neglected jewelry projects, fixing one necklace to make it less fall-apart-y at the clasp, and restringing my Coyote necklace which has been too short to wear since before the CF hit me. Luckily I still had more of that turquoise in my stash, and again beading-wire-with-crimps instead of plastic filament seems to work OK.

Moar sewing )

This week I've actually had better energy than usual, but I'm not entirely sure why.

On one hand, its almost DragonCon, and the scheduling grids came out yesterday and I started piecing together my own plans and YAY! Tho I've put those aside for now b/c I need to coordinate cosplay stuff with other ppl too. But YAAAAAY CON!!!

But also I've changed my lunch boxes up a bit to include moar protein, with less rice & veg. Not doing so well with splitting my lunch in half b/c I've been spoiled by having a full 90 minute lunch break, but will try again when the fall schedule starts.

And speaking of scheduling, its summer intercession, so this week I'm at work 10-6 every day, instead of most days with 1-9pm on Monday. So my sleep schedule was that much more regular.

Well... sortof. Monday night suprise plans cropped up with a fellow geeky friend, and we hung out, had dinner and tea, and chatted and gossiped for a while. Then we walked from 4th and Mercer to 8th and 16th, and when I got on the E train after that I didn't pass out like last time. I think I got on the train later than I would have if I'd worked that evening. So... this too.

Is it one of the things? More than one? All the things? Or is it just that the dog days of summer are over and my brain can brain again? I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Therapy was on Tuesday afterwork instead of Monday morning this week, and we went over how planning-ahead in my life is helping me, but when planning turns into worrying/anxiety, that is bad. Still having trouble with that line in between, but at least I think I'm zeroing in on another problem? Although worrying about my health in the first place may be adding to my health probs. Blah.


Tonight I have an allergy shot, the rest of the week I'll slowly put together my DCon stuff. Shopping lists (omg bpal), supplies, budgets (lol). I realized I shouldn't blow all my well-saved DCon cash that weekend, I should reserve enough for a desposit on next year's hotel room, b/c that reservation will probly have to be made in September. B/c Dragoncon. *shrugs*

When I'm unable to work on DragonCon stuff, I may just stay home and work on the Doom Coat. NYC socializing gets kindof random in August, even without CF, but I'm over on my Rx budget and given that con is next week I'd like to keep the extras spending to a minimum for the rest of the month. And while I'm planning to do a FMG order next month, I'm not planning it now. Ima chill out.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (will thelemic)
The Old Reader eventually turned itself back on, only to announce that it can't deal with all the new readers who jumped on when G-reader shut down, so they're going to close up shop to anyone who registered after G made *their* announcement. I'm not absolutely sure that I'm out, but I've already set up a feedly account, which is working OK so far. Tho its annoying that I need a G login for it, and can't set up one independantly of my G account. Since its G's fault all this annoyingness is happening in the first place. Meh.


Meanwhile, a weekend happened. Where I fell into a clay-hole for 10-12 hours and made lots of very pretty polymer clay items. For my costume, and maybe some other ppl's costumes if they'd ever answer my emails. Here is a pic of all the handcrafted clay goodness on my Tumblr, cuz that's what its for. I've since glazed them, since it turns out the glaze I use nowadays *can* be baked, so I don't have to wait until after I pick up pin backings and liquid-polymer-glue them on. I thought I already had pin backings, but oh well. That can wait until my financial karma resets in August.

If you look at the pic, you can see I was playing with a lot of new Art Nouveau ideas, which turned out waaaaay better than I expected. So I accidentally leveled up in polymer clay skillz, yay :-D

Skipped doing any fabric stuff, b/c clay-hole. Now I think I want to finish my DCon costume before starting any new projects. But I also forgot to do the laundry, so will try to make that up tonite. Luckily I did have time to do my cooking, so I can eat this week.


Food-wise I'm trying something new this week. I found out how much fiber there is in coconut flour (a lot), so maybe that was still making my (fiber-hating) stomach cranky. Instead of banana bread for breakfast, it will now be apple slices and hard boiled eggs for a few days to see if that's not going to make me crazy. Also, nice excuse to not turn on the oven for a while.

Needles, cash, and conventions )


Today I'm also reconsidering my local social life options. In and around teh city. ) In July I gave myself the permission to stop hermitting, but unfortunately external forces put the kibosh on it so far. Maybe I just need to hold out until September. It seems I always have to hold out for *something* to come together. More meh.

I also really miss being able to go on long walks around the village without going into collapse afterwards. On my lunch breaks, after work, whatever. I didn't have to judge whether or not I had the energy beforehand, or have a full day off to crash afterwards. I *did* get some in last fall after going gf/df, so I guess its another 'wait for fall' thing.


There's lots of news about weddings and engagements this summer, I guess its got me thinking about stuff. Good for my friends, certainly, yay for them! Behold the Contented Sassy Spinster )

I guess if romance wants to come find me, it knows where I live, but it better call ahead to make sure I'm home and relatively awake. And at the same time I can still be happy for my friends that have found their own happiness in the Romantrix :-)

In related news, I'm saving so much money since I switched to rechargeable batteries ;-)

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (clothes)
Yay! I am awake today! This is amazing! Not quite as good as last week (before the late nite phone spam) but better than earlier this week. Also, today I got the barest hint of migraine this morning before it went away on its own. Woot. (Have had to take migraine meds Weds & Thurs, not woot. What is it about June that makes my head hurt???)

Noticeable factors: Over the weekend I went to CC and picked up a variety of GF snacks (not nec paleo). Since Saturday I'd been snacking on 'veggie chips', which include corn but also do that veggie puree thing. Wednesday I switched back to corn chips, Thursday & Friday are noticeably better. So apparently corn chips are magical. Or something. Yesterday I stopped by the overpriced local shop to get organic corn chips, and they're not giving me a tummy ache like they used to. So yay, I can at least have the organic version of a thing that probably isn't very good for me, but is still having an oddly beneficial side effect. *shrugs*

Sewing= time budget success! Money budget... not sho much. )

Will also try to be a bit more careful with grocery budget for the rest of the month, Adventures in Noms! )

On Tuesday I went for needling, and told my needler that I wanted to take July off. B/c a) want to save some extra cash for DCon, b) not sure if acupuncture is really working as well as it used to, and c) I can always get back to needling in August before DCon. If I turn out to be wrong about b, I can always call them and set up another appointment. She totally understood. I asked if I might be building up a tolerance to needling, or if my physical problems are more-fixed so now its the mental/habits problems that need more work. She thinks more likely the latter than the former. But we'll see. Definitely going to be a bit more social in the next 6 weeks, we'll see if that shakes anything else loose in my headmeats. Much as I like my needler, my budget is a bit strained these days, even when I'm not buying fabric.

Also, a DCon friend has offered me a Reiki boost while we're there. Still very Reiki curious, but my attempt at going to the 'student practice session' failed b/c Hurricane Sandy. And then I just got distracted. *shrugs*


I'll probably put off all the grocery shopping (which isn't really that much) until tomorrow, b/c this evening a friend is in town and we might go hang out for a little while wit another friend. Possibly with fancy GF french macaroons. Which I probably won't try baking myself this weekend, since I'm doing other kitchen stuff. But some day, macaron. You too, meringue. Tho the last time I had macaron I got super dizzy, so today we'll see if that was a fluke or if almond flour hates my brain (I use almond *butter* in banana bread & brownies). A lot of gf-baking mommy bloggers are against almond flour, but I don't remember why. *shrugs*


I think I'm more or less off the strict paleo thing now, if that wasn't clear before. I can't keep up strictly with a crazy-rich-ppl diet. I'll happily use their recipes, but with ingredients and equipment that I can actually afford.

And don't get me started about "OMG THIS RECIPE IS TOTES PALEO EVEN THO I FRIED OR BAKED EVERYTHING IN EXPENSIVE BUTTER NOW BUY MY COOKBOOK!" *sigh* Luckily I can usually sub in bacon fat or coconut oil when something needs a room-temp-solid fat. But when they're using full fat cow cream to make ice cream... wtf.

Mind you, todays macarons will probably have dairy in them, but at least the pills fix the tummy ache problem, and it doesn't mess me up for days like gluten (or we'll find out today). The shop also isn't claiming to be Paleo :-P

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (galadriel lembas mix)
Yay, so my DragonCon room is settled, barring sudden disasters. And all my roommates want to do the Steampunk'd Babylon 5 cosplay idea with me, so I've finally started working on that costume. And I think I'll work on *just* that one before DCon.

Sewing stuff )

Between researching for my survival at DCon and chucking a large portion of my makeup collection, I've been on an anti-gluten anxious rampage for a few days. Ebil, ebil gluten )

Sadly, Ima back to normal brain fog levels today. Not sure why. Maybe the starchy carbs aren't working anymore, maybe its the suddenly-storm weather going on in NYC today and tomorrow. Or b/c I accidentally got shampoo in my mouth last night, cuz I ain't perfect.

I also had hummus on Friday and Saturday, for the first time since ... September? Are chickpeas giving me hangovers now? Ugh, I hope not.

Today is begrudgingly my 2 year anniversary of "Noticing I Might Have CFS" so... um... yay? Also, I think it was early July that I had the migraine from hell that got my old doctor to send me for an MRI. Fun.

I think it was June of 2012 where I freaked out on how horrible I felt overall, and finally exclaimed 'FINE SEND IN THE FAITH HEALERS WAAAARGH.' Instead I got into acupuncture, and the needler, and then my new doctor, both recommended I try the (badly named) Paleo Diet to see if I had any food sensitivities. Which I did. And I started to feel better, tho in stops and starts, until I crashed again around January. More stops and starts, and I'm mostly sure that today I'm better than I was last June, so that's good. I'm not great, but I'm better than I was.

Weight & Body Image )

Tho also b/c of that discussion online and in my head, I realized I had weeks of food tracking data written down in my notepad that I could plug into an online calorie counter to see what's up. I've been tracking food by weight, more for financial than health reasons, b/c of wanting to try and stay on a grocery budget. And also in case individual foods cause weird flareups/reactions. And to see what happened. Counting calories is just too abstract for me, and requires too much work to track and count everything via internets. For weight I just use my kitchen scale.

It looks like I've been bobbing around 1800 calories per day pretty steadily, usually with 2-2.25 lbs per day. A bit low on carbs, but fat and protein in normie ranges, and the low side of normal for fiber (but too much of that messes me up in unhappy ways). On the other hand, that was just last week, when I was reintroducing starchy corn chips. Will work on earlier data later.

Am still unsure of what was going on with last week's energy spike. If it was the starchy carbs, will that help me indefinitely, or just for a little while before I crash out again? Am I just re-contributing to a chronic/adrenal fatigue relapse? Maybe I just need something a bit easier to digest, and thus 'processed', b/c I'm still healing off years of gluten/dairy abuse on my insides, and 5oz of rice at lunch + 1oz ricecakes at dinner wasn't enough.


I think I might also take a break from acupuncture in July, just to see what happens. I felt better last week (maybe?) without a needle appointment, and I continued to feel awful from winter thru spring with regular appointments. If I hit another "OH DEAR GODS HELP ME" point I can always call them and make the earliest available appointment, having learned my lesson.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
I've felt strangely not-awful this week. Despite the cleaning binge & all the rains (tho there have been migraine teases, I have meds for that), I am still a functional person, and my energy levels seem to be going up a bit.

So I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out why, hoping its not a random phenomenon:
Why so awake? )

My tummy is still grouchy, but I'm learning how to deal with the new weirdness. But my skin is also breaking out more this week. And when the CF started gaining traction in my life, my skin became abnormally clear for me. That indicated that my problem might be hormonal, which indicated that it might be my thyroid, but common medical industry practice is "F#$% your problems if they don't show up on our tests the way we say they're s'posed to." So while my thyroid looks inflamed on an ultrasound, my blood tests are in the 'normal' rage, so f#$% me.

And wasn't I super sleepy for the last two weeks? And now I'm more awake than usual. Hmph. Body, you need a better manner of communication. "Owch" and "Zzzzz" just aren't enough.



Thanx to newfound energy and a bit more focus, I'm working on my usual summer backlog at work, and finally remembered to order my plane tix for Dragoncon. And I'm making a more focused effort to find roommates, that involves me *writing down* interested parties and details in case my brain shuts down again.

But DCon in two+ months isn't enough for me, I wanna be geeking out nooooow. So I'm looking into geeky meetups in NYC. Looking For Group )

That's odd now that I think about it. My brain has a few extra spoons to work with, and its all RESEARCH CONS instead of WRITE SCRIPTS. Will mull this over. I still haven't had a moment to sit down and mull/meditate over the Sedonia stuff in the privacy of my own home, b/c things. Maybe I'll finally get that together tonite. And more thinking on whether or not I'll remain a hermit, but the lack of social offerings in NYC that don't start *after* my bedtime in far off boroughs may keep that a slow gradual process.

Lol, yesterday I had more spoons, but was teetering into a bad mood (b/c reasons), and suddenly remembered that I could text a local Village-centric friend to see if they wanted to hang out after work. And we did! And had Bareburger, on LaGuardia but I just made sure not to order a (cricket) salad with my burger. Good idea, considering the rest of the week will be rained out. And still got home after hanging out/dinner with more than enough time to fold excess laundry and get ready for bed. And falling asleep was a bit harder again due to "OMG AWAKE" but otherwise I slept OK.

And weird dreams happened )

This weekend is Dad's Day, and I was waiting for a verdict on that before making other plans. And the fam wants to come into Queens for Bareburger on Sunday, so I have time for more stuff aside from chores. That could be cutting fabric for the DCon costume, or more weird baking experiments, haven't decided yet. Oh, and some extra cleaning tasks that didn't work out last week for one reason or another.

I'm going to try limiting my sewing habit to 3 hours per weekend, and hopefully I'll get the B5 dress done by LDW without burning myself out. But that will include a mockup/muslin of the jacket part. Will see how this works out. There are some other light-costuming bits I'd like to finish from the project bin, but I'm not entirely sure I have places to wear them yet. *shrugs*

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: Queen of the Cat People, class with a cult following. (Default)
That was pretty much my weekend. With a dash of socializing, which was nice.

I had a few chores slated for the weekend, but at some point (Saturday?) I suddenly decided my longer to-do list of things just needed to get done already. Like a debt snowball in my brain, tasks that seemed complicated or carried emotional baggage/anxiety were taking up a lot of space and energy in mah brain, and I would not be free until they went away. So my accomplishments list is a bit crazier this week.

Accomplishments! )

Even with the stuff I didn't complete, I've done a LOT of unf#$%ing of my space since MDW. And now there's room on top of the fridge for more kitchen gizmos. Yay/ohnoes!


For all the work I did this weekend, and OMG my back hurt by Sunday night, and I still had to finish the dishes and laundry, I do not feel like a wreck today. Health, post unF***ing )

That was nice tho, having ppl come over to visit me. Tho one kept getting bothered by my balcony curtain. I am still not sure about the hermit thing, but at least my home is more comfy for visitors.

Speaking of hermitting, this week's tarot forecast is ... dramatic on the subject:

TAROT! )

This weeks plans ... don't really have anything specific yet. May work on some of the bits of housework I didn't get to over the weekend. Or just relax and do the Sedonia work I didn't get around to over the weekend. Hopefully the move to clean came out of my emotional unpacking, and wasn't a resistance-ploy to keep me from working on it further, which I had planned to do last weekend. Not sure how comfy it will be to hang out in WSP given all the rain that might happen. Also not sure what's going on for Dad's Day this year. Hopefully no energy crashes.

Oh, and I have to get plane tix and roommates for DragonCon. But thanx to my year-round tithes to the dragon (via online savings account) it should be financially OK this year. But I need to write down my ppl-interactions on it, b/c otherwise Ima forget who's interested, again :-/ Darnit brainfog!
chrysilla: (clothes)
I think Ima make one of those "Care and Feeding of teh Me" posts sometime soon. So whenever someone asks "What/why XYZ with you?" I can just say, look, here's a list already posted to teh internets. Hooray. Like an Unwellness Resume.

Been having some low points this week, of the emotional sort. Then I remembered that this might be PMS week, and they became less pointed, so that's good. But mostly about "What if this *doesn't* have a fix, what if I'm just struggling and spaced out forever?" And ... I don't really have an answer for that right now, so I'm just going to ignore it until I do. Not the healthiest action, but its the only one I have the brain cells for right nao :-P


In more fun (yet still angst-related) news, someone is making a contemporary Jane Eyre vlog series in the style of LBD. OMG FEELS )

Its been trenchcoat & boot weather this week, so that's actually been very pleasant. Also, helped me come to the conclusion that I really need to replace my docs ASAP, b/c I'm tired of worrying about getting trenchfoot from NYC puddles :-P And I realized I can still keep my old Docs, and dress them up for costuming somehow, if I have that much energy ever again. And I think I'm going to risk the Macy's website to get a different style of tall docs than my old pair, b/c I have gift certificates and card-holder discounts (to offset possible future new zipper surgery). And then I'll just have to cross my fingers that they don't screw me over on delivery again.


Health wise, things have been a bit odd this week. More tired = Yay? )

Feeling sleepier at night also means that when I finally got my newly ordered cheap dresses home, I totally forgot to try them on. *sigh* Possible sewing adventures )

I really, REALLY need to just finish the balcony. C'mon Chrysilla, just suck it up and do it already. Get the things at the home stores, throw out the old stuff, scrub the floor with that nice scrubby broom, put the new stuff outside. The End. You've got a whole extra day to recover from it this weekend. And then one less annoying thing to worry (and blog) about. So hopefully I don't crash out between now and Tuesday.

B/c of the pre-holiday hour off we get in my office, I get to go home at 5pm. Getting me back to my neighborhood 2 hours earlier than usual for a Friday, so all of those nice stores will still be open. Ima try to do all of those things tonight if I can, between home stores and groceries, but at the very least I need to pick up my prescriptions and some noms. Then I can stay in my building all weekend, and just work on household stuff and sleeping.


Is there some way to practice at sleeping until I get better at it? I'm unconscious while its happening, so I've never been able to figure out how.

<3 Chrysilla

IDES

Mar. 15th, 2013 12:31 pm
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
So after two weekends ago, with its "CLEAN ALL THE THINGS!" and melatonin, I had a few more days of feeling more able to brain and then by Thursday it dribbled away again. But it was also TTotM by then, so hormones, and the weather took a cold/wet/icky downturn as well. Or my brain-evil has acclimated to the melatonin and now I'd need more. Too soon to tell. And the headaches come and go, tho I think they're better as long as I take my B12 supplements every day, but I think those were also worse than usual this time last year.

Weekend of sewing and slight fail )

But that Friday night I went to a friend's b'day party in Astoria, and stayed for two hours before I got cat-gested (I forgot to ask if she had pets) so that in itself is an achievement. I also made a circular batch of brownies and went to a Pi Day party this Thursday, so yay I'm outside. I'm hoping this is the start to me being *out* more often, especially as spring starts for real, but I think I had the same hopes last year and they didn't really pan out. But who knows.

Health, sleeps, needles )

In non-health news, I've been rejected as a vendor for SPWF, so at least that's one expense I don't have to deal with, and one less episode of lugging a big heavy suitcase around NJ. I may still go as a private citizen, but the general disorganized craziness I've had to deal with from this event company makes me not want to give them any more of my money for a while. And they didn't get around to figuring out the vendor sitch until waaaay after ticket prices went up, which is crappy. Its not like we don't have a vibrant Steampunk community *in* NYC, although I'm too tired to hang out with them very often. I have a room reserved at the hotel already, but they didn't need a deposit, so I'm still mulling things over.

Its also my b'day weekend, so on one hand I could have my b'day party in the city instead, but on the other I HATE organizing my b'day party b/c 80% of my friends are super flaky. Including the ppl who promise to help me organize things and then wait until the last minute. I think my b'day may just be cursed. But it may be easier to go to a con of mostly-strangers and just wander around with a retinue going "Yay! Its my b'day!" and mooch off the con excitement.

Also, $$ not spent on this event means more $$ for DCon. But I was hoping to start attending more cons. Maybe I'll finally do Dexcon again? I hear it is more train accessible now, and if I'm not larping I won't have to pack a giant suitcase of costumes.



My weekend plans are all house-bound, except for maybe an early morning Costco trip (with a VERY short list, I think I'm getting the hang of that). Would like to try making lamb pasanda, finally, since CostCo has boneless leg of lamb on a semi-regular basis. And I miss it sho much. Will try to finish those two sewing projects, do the laundry (should have done it last week, but ran out of steam & time and now its a dire situation) and my other regular chores. Otherwise, much vegetating. There is free comedy stuff tonite (Friday) but I'm in a curling-up mood, and have run out of Chrysilla-friendly lunch boxes for the week.

Next week is the New York Whole Bead Show, and I took a half vacation day for Friday morning, so I can go when its less crazy and there's more stuff. I need to work out a budget for that this weekend. And more importantly, make a list of things I *don't* need to buy. Tho for good or bad, shopping for beads does make me want to use them more, so hopefully this will be a nice little jumpstart. Tho Wicked Faire sales went so badly that I still have plenty of stock for Twisted World in April, so I don't have to stress about it.

On the other hand ... part of me just wants to eat the cost and ditch my Twisted World plans. And just sleep that weekend, tho its several weeks away so who knows how I'll be feeling. Even though they actually seem to have their act together and have low table costs.
Dammit chronic fatigue :-/

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (witch)
So sleeps are making me sad. But I have still accomplished things in the last week! I think. Its actually a bit hazy right now.

Accomplishments )

Weekend plans, at home as usual. )


And I watched 3/4 of Trial of a Timelord so far, maybe I'll finish that this weekend :-) Last week I was watching/listeningto more DS9, since if I have chronic cf I may as well finish watching all the tv series that I can. *shrugs*

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (bb accounts)
So, DragonCon happened. Read more... )

DCon actually helped me focus on and prioritize what I want to be doing with my non-job time for the next few months. I don't know if that's weird, but its me, so Ima go with it.

First tier priorities:

-Jewelry, and getting the biz back on its feet.

-Writing the damn radio scripts.

-Tai chi classes, so maybe I'll stop feeling so yucky all the time.


Lesser tier priorities:

-Sewing!

-Watching teh improv.

-Socializing with my nerdkine (readings, DoV, Anachronism, picnics, etc).

-Puppeteering, but I'm still having a hard time figuring out *where* to do that, so it may be at the bottom of the list for a while. But I really miss it.

I wonder how good Dusk would be at selling jewelry?


Not sure where sorcery falls into this list. Its more a way-of-life than a priority, anyway.

Where's teh improv? )


Now if I could just get healthy enough to do this stuff, dammit. I'm ready for it to stop being 'summer break' now, and have watched quite enough Star Trek for a few weeks.

Started taking flaxseed oil pills for the omega 3s I might be missing, and iron to see if it helps. In addition to a half dose multivitamin and D pills that I already take (mostly) daily. Food is just too confusing in terms of nutrition, I would rather hedge my bets with supplements and see if I feel better. Feeling better is really my main overarching goal right now.

A martial arts group in SoHo has a Tai Chi beginners class on Thursdays, but this week I'm still feeling a bit sniffly, and I'm going to see Bill Bailey in concert tomorrow (YAAAAY!!!) so that's for next Thursday. Yay for water bending class ;-)

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
The end of the last workday before con is always the most grueling time period. Argh.

Otherwise, things are OK. Realized today is the end of my 'summer break' month. Not really sure where to go from here yet. I don't really feel good, per se, but I feel less bad than I did a month ago. Felt like a long time in some respects.

Tho on the other hand, we did have a hurricane this weekend, preparations for that would stress me out normally, and I had a stomach flu last Thursday and Friday, so its not strange that I feel a bit off right now. Whups. And now I'm going to a con. Maybe I'll add a couple of weeks to my break for recuperation.

Recent happenings. )

Now that I'm sewing *and* watching Star Trek TNG, I have tons of costume ideas. Way to late to make anything for this DragonCon, but there's always next year. And this year, tons of costuming and art panels to attend. Shadowcat (plus new Lockheed puppet) is the only proper cosplay I've packed. At least the new blouse is Tardis blue :-)

This year, in circling things on the schedule grid I'll be focusing on art, costuming, and podcasting, with a dash of gothy stuff and literature. Maybe less BritTrack, b/c its not like I haven't heard these stories before. And my Moffat-rage may derail otherwise fun panels for other folks. We're at the Westin, where there are Steampunks and Browncoats, so I'll probably hang out there for a bit. While it looks like the B5 guests cancelled at the last minute, Sylvester McCoy was added at the last minute, so OMG YAY! Technically my first doctor, if only for ten minutes ;-)

Maybe DragonCon will be the jolt of caffeine-substitute that I need? Get me focused, or at least give me some energy with which to think.

Oh, and there's a Puppet Jam Sunday nite. I have nothing prepared, but I do have two puppets. Yaaaay!

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
I'm tired of complaining "Boo hoo, its so hot and I'm so tired. WAAAAAH." So I'm reframing the situation. This month is the month of naptime. I will be tired, at home and listless on purpose.

Will continue accepting invites to parties, shows, gatherings, etc. for the next few weeks, and dutifully add them to my dayplanner. But I will STOP feeling guilty about being too tired to attend, if that happens (especially if I go home and cook steaks instead). The exception is my one improv practice, which is only meeting for three Wednesdays this month anyway. And I may miss the last one due to DragonCon prep.

So, see you (in person, not going off the grid) in September. Probably.

[Am sho glad I learned how to cook steaks (in a lazy, unfancy way). The thicker ones will pan-cook for 10ish minutes to only rare/medrare state, but that microwaves into a happy medium at work. And then commence with the omnomnoms :-)]

Anyway, its also a good plan if I want to save my energy for DragonCon. (31 DAYS!!!! OMG!!!!)


Blessed Lughnassa! I spent my weekend cleaning stuff & filing old papers. Replenished the salt dish. There seems to be a clutter quota in my Chantry. I clear off the workbench, kitchen counter, and fridge, but now the livingroom 'nook' is filled with sewing stuff. Its not like I moved one pile of clutter to a different place, its all new clutter. Blah. Still better than the homes of most of my friends that are not Discardians.


Also played with fabric this weekend. Me bein' crafty )

I'm sorely tempted to curl up under the circ desk in a sleepy little ball, but it doesn't look like the floor has been cleaned in months. And a friend is stopping by to hang out after work, and bringing shiny things for my consultation.

I may spend one of my Mondays-off this month shopping for fabric at Mood Fabrics in NYC, if anybody wants to tag along. Or I may just use those days to veg out. I had two "personal days" to use before they expired in September, so I'm having two surprise 3-day weekends before DCon :-)

<3 Chrysilla

Today's Health Rating:

1-Horrible
2-Thud
3-Meh
4-OK
5-Yay?
6-Yay!
7-Old normal, YAY!

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