chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
Recently, ran my CtD/KND tabletop game for the first time in month, yay! Read more... ) And Sunday I didn't crash out at all! I was a bit brain-scattered and foggy as per usual, but I got chores done and started a couple new embroidery projects, w00t. Last time I ran game was February (I think?) and the day after was a terrible crash (I blame EBV). Another sign that things might be turning around :-)


Overall, energy levels have been very unpredictable. Health Stuff )

The ongoing, overall plan for summer is that if I can't do the creative work I really want (outside of embroidery on the circ desk in the summmer-slow library), I'm going to try and get out more and socialize, b/c that's how Extroverts recharge their spoons. Also, having a pile of recent memories where I'm out with friends having fun would be nice to help stave off darker moments of moping. A new deity has recently popped up in my life that seem to want to help with that, and she's there in a guardian aspect as well, so I think this will come together. If this all helps me pop back into writing sooner, great, but otherwise I need to be OK with waiting for fall.

Tho there's not really a lot of specific social events going on this week, which is a bummer. And I'm a bit strapped for cash again (still working on taming my grocery spending, wth). Wish I hadn't been too sick/recovering to go out last week, tho saving my spoons for game was definitely the best idea. There's a few things I could go see in a pinch, like improv or a movie or blues dancing, tho cash flow is still an issue. I may just stay in and watch tv while working on costume-alterations/fixes for the upcoming cons. Would also like to attempt the Stitch puppet this week/end. Eeek. I has worries.

Then this weekend the 'rents are coming in for brunch sometime, and there's some "nerdswap" events I'm curious about, but I don't really want more stuff. Tho you never know, I might find items I can shellack and put in the garden, etc. I'll see what random items I have that I haven't purged yet, mebbe go thru my bookshelf.

Might bug my local friend to borrow his GoT dvds, b/c I think its just time to finally watch that. Still worried about wanting to make all-teh-costumes, but what I'm *hoping* is that there will be costumes that help with stash busting. And at this point I think my willpower (or disgust) is strong enough that any temptations outside of the stash can be pinned until next year.

I also started watching two new-to-me shows the other week (gasp) which is actually a big deal for me. Supernatural and Black Sails. There is a level of fatigue where you're too tired to watch new TV shows, so def another good sign. This is what I point to when ppl say "maybe you're just getting old-tired" b/c being unable to watch tv or read a book is definitely not just "getting old" :-P

<3 Chrysilla

PS, going to try and post more in my Dreamwidth. B/c some meanderings are just too long for fb, y'know? Which is how this got here in the first place.
chrysilla: (dw Tardis)
Yay, Arisia! Sho much fun. Although there's always a feeling of not having done all-the-things I could have, I think I still did OK :-)

Much ramblings about con! )

Arisia seems to put me into more of an introspective "Where do I want to be coming from *next* year?" mode than new years. Especially I am thinking about my costume plans (for DCon first), and my podcast/audiodrama idears. Wouldn't it be nice to have something like bizness cards for my podcast to pass around Arisia? They'd definitely be my target demographic. In general, 'calling cards' are something I really want to start carrying around at con, b/c useful. All the info on my Facebook and Etsy (and maybe more) stuff on one little card so I can talk to ppl more via social media.

If my CtD game continues apace, I might make a module of it to run at next Arisia? Not sure how that works, but I know who to ask about it. Working on my own piece for the Doom & Gloom Competition is daunting tho, b/c its been so long since I sang in front of ppl on the regular, and I was never a soloist.

Maaaaaybe I'll tap more ppl who already go to Arisia for Steampunk Babylon5 collusion. Plenty seem interested, and I can't get my NYC friends to go. On the other hand, when there's a GoT cosplay meetup, there's like ten of each character. I don't mind overlap, especially with such an amorphous concept.

But as for costuming... how does one get ppl to take photos of a big weird costume? Just wander back and forth in the lobby for a couple of hours? Get into the Masquerade (I have no idea how those work)? Also, nobody pays attention to Steampunk costumes unless they're wired to light up, so Ima have to figure out how to put that in too. *ponders* But I've got until DCon to figure it out.

Now I just need more spoons. I'm pretty sure I'd have the time if I didn't spend so much of it spacing out. *sigh*

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
So... yah. That!

Did a mostly OK job of keeping up on sleep until Wednesday, when I did the gamer downtimes meetup and stayed out too late again. Tho in my defense the trains are screwed up. Tho I should have remembered they were screwed up from Monday nite. *shrugs* I think I got to bed on time Thursday nite too, after much packing and prep work, don't quite remember.


A lot of Arisia is still a blur. I was very worn down, brainfogged, and extra-zombie-fried for most of it, so the happy wasn't as cathartic as last year. However, it was really wonderful hanging out with my local Boston friends as ourselves (rather than as larp characters), and likewise seeing friends from elsewhere and, um, NYC whom I don't see very often. B/c leaving the house is hard. Very much calling this a win, Arisia was wonderful even though my brain was broken. Spent Monday having lunch with some of them, then meeting up with more in the gaming room for one final huzzah over CAH. Despite being brainfogged all weekend I still wasn't prepared to leave. Definitely going back next year :-)

More Arisia! )

I do think that I'm a bit past the point of "Are you sure you don't secretly *want* to be sick?" for chronic fatigue, sinus probs, etc. NO. I DO NOT. I'm still looking for that bit of leverage to get out from under the rock, which I think I did find in MES last spring, but then my sinuses rebelled. Will pick up that acupressure book and try a few more new things, some of which got derailed in the past (oh, you wanted to go to the reiki open circle? here's a hurricane instead :-P). Maybe if I can scrounge up the budget I can start doing acupuncture again, maybe just monthly. The BrainSync page sez I need to use their special expensive sleeper headphones, but I can get one of their MP3s on a gift card and try that out via computer speaker, at least for the first time. I have a whole new pinterest board filling up with the newagey side of self-care and coping.


Tho coming back down to earth again, none of this will probly happen this month. Well, maybe some books b/c I have a B&N gift card. Its rather the opposite of what I was planning, but I've screwed up my regular monthly budget enough that I should probably just stay in and sew, and veg out, for the next couple of weekends. Not to mention that I seem to have shrunk so I want to try out some old sewing patterns to see what fits now. Also, stash fabric. And new patches. Sho many. I did laundry the week before con, so I should have the 'livingroom nook' open all weekend for fabric stuff.

There's IRC stuff tomorrow and Thursday, not sure if I'll be up for it. I really am just in the mood for moar sewing this week, maybe some email gaming. And I need to set up some Dunsirn connections now that this new PC is in the MES database.


Doing mostly OK today, except for that whole "Dude, what did I do last weekend?" sense in my brain. Monday night I got home around 8pm, Amtrak was 20 mins early and then every subway train was at the platform when I needed it (thankyee Eshu). Spaced out on the internet for a little while as I tried to figure out if I were hungry or should eat anyway, then eventually realized I could just go to bed. I was already down to cover the 1:30-9:30 shift at work Tuesday, so that left time for lots and lots of sleep. I did try to tarot, but that part of my brain still isn't functional either. Oh well.

And unfortunately I had to choose either baking brownies *or* making this week's lunches last Thursday, so I won't have a chance to cook again until Wednesday nite. Which means two Bareburger lunches are also going on the $$ tracker. My stomach's been ever so slightly upset by BB the last few times, so at least it gives me a chance to see if one item in particular is doing that to me. Yay? Today no lettuce, and still lots of spicy veggies, but I seem a bit better.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (will thelemic)
Not really up for full fledged 'resolutions', some kind of evil synergy tends to make most ppl's resolutions fail. But I have some plans that I may as well pin to the wall now? Year in review vs. Next year's forecast.

Crafty stuff:

Jewelry stays on backburner as I work thru avalanche of fabric. )

Health stuff:

Was thinking of doing dietary tweaks again, but then I'm like, "what if I resolved to make my life easier instead of more difficult this year?" so nope. Focusing on sleep, and a couple other things. )

Food stuffs. )

When they're done with the betatest: Flaredown! Missed getting onto the betatest b/c I didn't contribute to the indiegogo in time, but OMG I wanna play with that. B/c I am a data geek :-D



Gamer Stuff

I really can't do three larps in one weekend. I'm never awake enough to play Requiem effectively, and then I'm hungover the next day. And I don't even drink. So from now on just two. More rationalizations. And COSTUMES. )

Social Stuff:

I'm happy that the gamers have re-accepted me as one of their own, and happy that I was able to have some kind of externally-moving force in my life aside from work, but it wasn't supposed to be the *only* social outlet. Filling in the gaps, I live in NYC for crying out loud. ) So see, I have a lot of options. I live in friking NYC. Its really just a matter of feeling well enough to grab those options, or ignoring possibly false limitations and going anyway.


Travel

Not sure about adding tons of new cons this year. Arisia's next week, DragonCon of course (but maybe last consecutive year), *maybe* Dexcon but no other plans. The "Geek Escrow" savings accounts are working out really well, tho.

I do really like my Boston trips, and if I plan them long enough (like two months) in advance I can get cheaper train tix. So we'll see how that goes in February and if it leaves me energy for more fun outside of game while I'm out there. Not sure about traveling to other cities, not sure what Philly's MES group is like, but I've heard amazing things about D.C.



Finances

Still kinda suck financially, but I'm not destitute by any means. And I think I'll be able to max out my Roth IRA this year (b/c I can make contributions for 2014 until April), and putting my extra paychecks and IRS refunds in there worked out very well. And my Geek Escrow accounts *are* working out, so I had some good ideas that are working out. Yay for that. But in early fall I used my emergency savings like a credit card, and spent about a quarter of it, and refilling it has been slow going so far. Really have to figure that one out.

Cris, pls stop buying stuff. )

Other Habits, good and bad

I have a bad habit of spacing out on the internet at home instead of getting stuff done, or going to bed on time. Sleeping, or vegging out on the couch, would be a totally passive activity. Sewing and cleaning would be totally active. Unless I'm in an IRC game, the internet is some uncomfortable place between active and passive, so I can't start something else and its very hard to just shut it off. I think its getting in the way of a lot of other things.

Will see what kind of measures I can take to un-internet while I'm home. Sadly I can't just turn off my modem like I used to b/c it resets all the passwords :-P

Along those lines, when I'm at home I'd like to be either entirely active *or* passive, so basically see above. Tired? Watch neflix on the comfy couch. Awake? Sew or clean stuff. No more zoning out on the internet until I miss bedtime.

Books are still a thing, right? I have a whole shelf full of new books I haven't started reading, and some of them have been there for *years*. I don't remember when I used to read them. Working on that.

I'm quite sure that music is still a thing. Got on Emusic again, b/c lots of gothy bands seem to put their music up there. So I can make a list from the podcasts I listen to, and gradually pick them up each month, maybe with a booster for my b'day. I have 8GB on my mp3 player, would like to actually utilize that space. Lets see if having a 'music allowance' works better this time around.

Thought of having a "Big Cleaning Day" once a month, not sure if that's a good idea. Might leave things to pile up and drive me crazy, then do everything that one day and burn out. And then what happens if I'm sick that day, or if something actually fun comes up? Meh.

Spiritual stuff... ugh. So wrapped up in the mundane that I don't really have the braincells left over for higher states of consciousness and intuition. Will try to keep up with the regular tarot forecasts, but the last couple months its been a lot of me staring at the cards and not getting it. :-/

And I'd like to 'journal' like this at least once a week. I keep writing novels on FB, and why do I need to do that when I can just record it here and publish it all at once? Maybe I'll more pointedly post via tweetdeck to keep my chatter short and sweet.



So... that's about where I am, and what I'm looking at. I tend to change lives every few years, I'd really like to start the next one please, but this one is very staunchly and unfairly holding onto me.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
Haven't been bloggin much, but at least that means March has been better than February?

Health Stuff )

As for general fatigue... its a bit on and off. On one hand, the sleeps are weird, so when I go home I'm not really awake enough to do functional stuff.

But I've been experimenting with *making* myself go out to do more things after work and on weekends, and every time so far I've felt better. Even when I was feeling stomach-ick or moody at work, or too queasy to finish the dinner I brought with me. So while I do believe all the CF was kicked off by physical/medical problems, now it's mostly a 'set point' problem that I have to psych myself out of. It hasn't been a perfect experiment (ugh, winter) but as it warms up it should get easier.


Unfortunately, the coming spring is also stirring up ... feels. And that has not been pleasant. Its much easier to be a happy spinster when its not springtime. Pheromones and hormones seem to shoot off at odd times (and at really inappropriate people :-P) but I don't have any reliable or realistic targets. And to be honest, I've been brainfogged for so long, and screwed over by so many jerks in the years before CF, I don't even know what I want or am looking out for anymore. And obviously I can't afford to waste my time/energy on someone who can't take care of me when I'm having a flare up, or respect my weird health-needs in general. So I guess I'm high maintenance now. Wth.

Now that I think of it, I didn't have the energy to feel this way last spring, so maybe its another good/aggravating sign of better things to come? Not with romantic b.s., but that soon I'll be able to get my creative projects up and running again with these wandering but pointless passions.


An excellent distraction from health and guy problems is RPGs, so its a good thing I've rejoined Cam Club. Read more... )

Another friend has resolved to go to a (free) museum every week, so that's been another good way to get me out of the house and out of my head. Tho I've only made it to one so far, b/c tummy and sleep probs. Hopefully more this spring :-)

On Saturday I saw The Jedi Macbeth, and some of my lightsaber friends are also trying to lure me back in. "Empire" only has classes once a week so that may work. And they seem very understanding of my hesitance b/c CF. Maybe I'll just go for the lightsabering exercise and not do all the con stuff to start. They're part of Rebel Legion, so I'd need to make a screen accurate costume, ugh.


I think my tarot skillz are also starting to wake up as of last week, yaaay. So this week I'll try to remember to tarot at IAF and a friend's going away party. Thursday will either be gallery hopping or Sci Fi club.

Not sure if anything is going on Friday, but the party is on Saturday night, so may just stay in. I'm still kinda health/germ phobic b/c all the jerks came back from Spring Break with extra coughing and sneezing. Grr.

But things are starting to work out. Hopefully they continue on that way. I'm slowly coming out of my isolation and it looks like a good thing :-)

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (galadriel lembas mix)
So... been a while. Oops. Moving on...

Winter break turned out to be very low key and sleepy for me. Hibernation )

Adventures in Noms )


And then I came back to work, and tried to give up chocolate. More mixed results... )

For all the food-work, I really don't seem any better in the tummy region. Doctor Stuff )

Far more exciting than medical procedures, Arisia is this weekend! And my friend and I are taking the train to Boston, so I don't have to starve myself or deal with travel sickness. From researching and asking questions on the forum, I've found that most of the hotels restaurants have gf options, so if I can just fit some brownies in my suitcase and find a CVS in town to pick up chips and tuna, I should be fine for noms all weekend.

Ima do my best to treat it as a vacation, and just relax, and do the things I wanna do. And wear pretty things and geek out. Or monopolize the bathtub b/c tired if I have to. But its a new con, so I'm trying not to get to invested in a certain sort of con experience, b/c ultimately I don't know what it is yet. But I'm not vending either, so already score one for me.


Not much else going on. Between germ fear and pre-con preparation (extra rest so far), I haven't gone out much since getting back to work last week. But I did set a Geekolution- Ima watch as much Classic Doctor Who as I can this year. Tho having added 100 DVDs to my Netflix queue, I realized that doing one a week won't finish the series. But if I *only* watch 50 I'm OK with that. And I'm going to try watching them in order, or as much in order as the supply will allow.

Not really setting any actual/normal NY resolutions. B/c anything I want to do is contingent on my health improving, which I've been working on all along anyway. Sitting on my comfy couch and watching DVDs every Saturday nite? That I can probably do, as long as I don't space out and forget to send my discs back.


I think I've decided to get back into sewing, but no more deadlines (except DCon, but that'll get done early). Tho I set out some projects to finish/fix this weekend, and ended up watching DVDs and vegging out instead. I don't consider that a fail. I just miss having some kind of project to work on, and quitting sewing didn't improve the volume of my writing at all. So I'll work on these crafty projects until (hopefully) my brains come back to me. Am also fine not pushing myself on projects right before a con vacation. Fabric can wait.


Also got some Twilight Alchemy Labs oils for ritual work last week. Sadly, it looks like STFU isn't actually helpful in quieting loud neighbors, but White Light is pretty and relaxing, and Radiance of Ra is pretty and energizing. In fact, they all smell really nice (even STFU), so it'll be hard reserving them for ritual use only. Cuz I've totally forgotten the giant box of BPAL (TAL is actually a sub-company of theirs) I already have. I'm silly. And now I need to reorganize my ritual oils box :-P May bring Ra with me for Arisia, in case I need a boost, along with my perfumes.


Less fun, last week served to remind me about how many of my friends are moving forwards with their lives, in a variety of ways and directions, and I'm still just ... stuck. Like I have been for 2.5 years, and 1.5 years of actively trying to dig my way out of zombie-mode. All the weird diets and lifestyle changes may look crazy and time consuming, but they're really all I have to feel like I haven't completely failed yet. So Ima keep on with those :-P

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (will thelemic)
This was an OK week. Still very groggy and low energy, but Thursday night I went out to a Harry Potter fan meetup group anyway. I figured, if I feel worse afterwards that's a problem, but if I still feel normal ick-levels than what's the point of staying home? I forgot to pack a dinner, so had to stop off somewhere for a gf/df meal, and that was annoying. And the burger seemed to make me dizzy after, too much noms? Carb crash? I dunno.

Once I got to the meetup location it was OK. I talked to some ppl, made a couple of new friends, it was nice. Well, except for the most brutal game of Potterverse-themed pictionary I've ever seen, which was alternatively obnoxious and boring, but that didn't last all evening. And the event-runners assured me that usually their gatherings are just meet-n-greet instead of loud and aggressive party games. Met some interesting new ppl, got a free printing of a webcomic, was OK :-) Nice low-energy social gathering.

Felt a bit more energy by the time I got home actually, but again in that 'I'm finally awake and its bedtime' way. Ooops. And I'm really crashing out today, but that's kinda normal for Friday. Analysis- going out will not break me. I will *try* for Browncoats on Saturday, but the reason the Potter gathering works so well is that its on a weeknight, after I'm already out of the house. Any weekend stuff is tough, b/c once my fatigued butt is settled in the apartment it's really difficult to pry it loose until Monday.

Like I said, crashing today. Was planning to drag a friend the Rubin tonite (free 6pm-10pm on Fridays) but now I don't think I'll be up for the walking and standing around. Maybe I need to limit myself to one social gathering per week (*usually* HP is on the first Thursday, and Browncoats on the second Saturday, so those won't coincide every month). But also pledge to attend one social gathering per week.

Latest tummy & diet stuff, not tmi, but y'know. )

Another possible reason for my crashing out for the last two weeks may be my crafty projects. I was OK, in fact better than usual, when I was sewing the costume b/c I stuck to one hour sewing sessions. But the polymer clay put me into a clay-hole for hours and hours at a time for the last two weekends. I worry about leaving unfinished clay work out between craft marathons. It doesn't air dry, but my apartment and I are both accident prone, and things can get squished. I'll have to figure out a way to make it 1-hr compliant if I want to keep working with it :-/ It could also be a fumes thing, but honestly the fumes weren't that bad this time. Unless my sinuses/olfactory senses are on the fritz.


Weekend plans include mebbe Browncoats, and my usual chores. Not sure if I'll be working on crafty stuff, given recent crashing out.

Sewing! Maybe. )

In other news, it is SOOOOO NICE that I don't have to worry anymore about my costume. OMG. Well, except for getting it there. Otherwise, no worries :-) Yaaay no last minute craziness. And only three weeks to go! :-D

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (clothes)
Thursday was really nice. Went out for dinner & tarot with a friend, chatted and gossiped all night, and had nice quiet fun. The train rides home were awful (slow *and* un-airconditioned), and my a/c unit at home wasn't quickly fixing the heat problem.

And then I looked up to make sure a rustling noise I'd heard was just a fallen piece of plastic or something, and saw that it actually was a mouse. Cue Uber-Panic )

Fast bounce-back from anxiety attack, less freaked out by phobias.
+5 Sanity
+2 Spoons
+5 Cleanliness


Saturday I still felt pretty hung over (but no more than usual for a weekend), so I lazed around for a bit and eventually went thru a 'fun' chore while watching Buffy dvds. Chores, sewing, and a variety of bonus scores. )

Actually, here is a photo collage of the process of making the Delenn jacket/skirt costume on my Tumblr b/c photo-blogging is easier that way. And some bits about things I did/fixed and the pattern number.


As for this week's tarot forecast (tumblr) it looks like being towards the end of my budget limits may drive me a bit nutz this week. I do want some things for pest control reasons, and in that case going $30 over won't be the end of the world. In the future, maybe I want to *only* aim on spending 2/3 of my extras budget, so I have that extra cash in case of 'emergency' stuff like this.

Moar Costuming! )

But I must say, all the SDCC footage and online responses have severely whetted my appetite for DragonCon. I'm torn between wishing it were this week, and being glad its not b/c I have costume stuff to finish ;-) And I REALLY want to do more than one con next year.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (bb accounts)
Just thinking about how my various 'issues' are accidentally working together for my betterment in odd ways.


Problems with dairy, gluten and other foods => Waaay less eating out at restaurants than I used to.
-5 Social Life
+5 Budgeting


Realizing the Paleo diet was hurting me in some ways => Can have rice and corn chips again, which are (sadly?) both cheaper than meat and veggies.
+5 Spoons (Health/Energy)
+10 Budgeting


Too tired to cook ALL THE THINGS from scratch => Buy easier to cook Chrys-friendly noms, less expensive overall.
+5 Spoons
+5 Budgeting


More stats! )

So one gigantic theme: what's awful for my social life seems to be awesome for my budget. "Keeping up with the Joneses" really is awful, even outside of the suburbs. When I'm feeling better in the autumn, need to devise less expensive (and less glutinous) methods of hanging out with friends.

And its still ironic that trying the Paleo diet decreased my restaurant spending to almost nothing, but made my grocery bills skyrocket out of proportion to the restaurant spending.
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
I've felt strangely not-awful this week. Despite the cleaning binge & all the rains (tho there have been migraine teases, I have meds for that), I am still a functional person, and my energy levels seem to be going up a bit.

So I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out why, hoping its not a random phenomenon:
Why so awake? )

My tummy is still grouchy, but I'm learning how to deal with the new weirdness. But my skin is also breaking out more this week. And when the CF started gaining traction in my life, my skin became abnormally clear for me. That indicated that my problem might be hormonal, which indicated that it might be my thyroid, but common medical industry practice is "F#$% your problems if they don't show up on our tests the way we say they're s'posed to." So while my thyroid looks inflamed on an ultrasound, my blood tests are in the 'normal' rage, so f#$% me.

And wasn't I super sleepy for the last two weeks? And now I'm more awake than usual. Hmph. Body, you need a better manner of communication. "Owch" and "Zzzzz" just aren't enough.



Thanx to newfound energy and a bit more focus, I'm working on my usual summer backlog at work, and finally remembered to order my plane tix for Dragoncon. And I'm making a more focused effort to find roommates, that involves me *writing down* interested parties and details in case my brain shuts down again.

But DCon in two+ months isn't enough for me, I wanna be geeking out nooooow. So I'm looking into geeky meetups in NYC. Looking For Group )

That's odd now that I think about it. My brain has a few extra spoons to work with, and its all RESEARCH CONS instead of WRITE SCRIPTS. Will mull this over. I still haven't had a moment to sit down and mull/meditate over the Sedonia stuff in the privacy of my own home, b/c things. Maybe I'll finally get that together tonite. And more thinking on whether or not I'll remain a hermit, but the lack of social offerings in NYC that don't start *after* my bedtime in far off boroughs may keep that a slow gradual process.

Lol, yesterday I had more spoons, but was teetering into a bad mood (b/c reasons), and suddenly remembered that I could text a local Village-centric friend to see if they wanted to hang out after work. And we did! And had Bareburger, on LaGuardia but I just made sure not to order a (cricket) salad with my burger. Good idea, considering the rest of the week will be rained out. And still got home after hanging out/dinner with more than enough time to fold excess laundry and get ready for bed. And falling asleep was a bit harder again due to "OMG AWAKE" but otherwise I slept OK.

And weird dreams happened )

This weekend is Dad's Day, and I was waiting for a verdict on that before making other plans. And the fam wants to come into Queens for Bareburger on Sunday, so I have time for more stuff aside from chores. That could be cutting fabric for the DCon costume, or more weird baking experiments, haven't decided yet. Oh, and some extra cleaning tasks that didn't work out last week for one reason or another.

I'm going to try limiting my sewing habit to 3 hours per weekend, and hopefully I'll get the B5 dress done by LDW without burning myself out. But that will include a mockup/muslin of the jacket part. Will see how this works out. There are some other light-costuming bits I'd like to finish from the project bin, but I'm not entirely sure I have places to wear them yet. *shrugs*

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (will thelemic)
Still not coming back to the 'my body feels like a lead weight' feelings of last year, but the brain fog may be returning. However, I also haven't been sleeping on time for the last couple of nights, so it may not be as bad as I think. Some'un gimme a lantern?

Don't eat the polymer clay directly out of the toaster oven. Or the dice. )

Since I stopped feeling tired *all* the time, my skin's started breaking out like it normally does. It was suprisingly clear while I was on the mono-rail. I've heard that acne can get worse while suffering from mono. Even my autonomic body systems have to do things their own way.


Am drawing a bit of a blank on this week's writing prompts from the blogs I follow.

BatFit's latest challange is replace a bad habit with a good one. Still too tired for exercise, and for some reason this week I'm having all the food cravings I skipped for the weeks spend on the elimination diet, so I'm really just fighting to maintain my good habits. It was easier to be on the diet all the time than have it go weekdays-on, weekends-off. Still too tired for exercising, maybe due to frosty sleep dep.

Tho on the upside, I was able to satisfy today's chocolate craving with half of my pre-L1D dose. And according to another friend's no-sugar focused diet plan, 3g of sugar at a meal is OK, and I had about 6.

Maybe I'll try a non-fitness goal? Replace buying shiny things with making them? Lol.


NYNY/CharmedI'mSure is to return to a place of 'sacred' relevance to me. Um... dunno. The Met? The Cloisters? The Ruben (free Friday nite)? Chinatown for the NY fest? When? By myself? The Enchantments of my youth is gone (replaced by a mediocre copy), as is the Washington Square I used to love a bit more. I'm going to try to attend KGB Fantastic Fiction tonight, which is certainly a special place to me that I haven't been to in a cat's age. Not sure that the 'jewelry-district' counts in this context ;-). I'll think of something.


I also haven't felt much up to writing this week so far. Moar sleep dep? Should I skip KGB for writing and shiny-making tonight? I am feeling a bit writer-ish right now, but I can't focus due to grogginess. I don't know either of tonight's authors personally, and I'm not sure how my tummy will do at dinner afterwards.

Or I could just chill out and take it easy tonight, b/c I'm still coming off six months of mono and I'm freezing to death at work.

<3 Chrysilla

NYNY: Relax

Jan. 9th, 2012 03:24 pm
chrysilla: Queen of the Cat People, class with a cult following. (Default)


I definitely had this prompt in mind last week, but was lazy about updating. I mean... relaxed, not lazy. Also, stomach aches and nosebleeds. Eeek.

NYNY: Relax, Don't Do It.

While I was on winter break I was sick, so all I had to play with for 1.5 weeks was the interwebs. And through the interwebs I learned to stop hating on teh Steampunks.

How I learned to chill out and like teh Steampunks )

Coupled with my interest in returning to con-slut-ness, this meant I needed some new garb. None of my big fancy garb pieces fit me anymore (corsets, old dresses, some of which were worn to rags anyway). But I'm off pattern-sewing and not even that great at it so far. Decided that sometime before SWF I would order one really nice piece as a general costume base. I still have bits and pieces that go together nicely for less-fancy looks. So it was a plan to keep an eye out long-term for anything I wanted to save up cash to pick up.

Until I thought, "Wouldn't Babylon 5 costumes look so awesome when SP'ed? I could go as Delenn!" and compulsive costume shopping began in earnest. Whups. But I found a site with a quite suitable dress for sale, a new years coupon code for the other piece, AND I still had Xmas $$ leftover from the Macy's trip, so the damage isn't as bad as it could have been. Ordered the Corrina dress in plum, and this fichu in what I hope is a teal, but light green should be OK. Big purple dress? Yes pls. I have (raggedy) skirts that will function as crinolines, and know of the pillow-as-bustle trick.

And y'know, SWF will be my birthday too (5/19). I wanna go fancy for my b'day, I am QotCP afterall. I could also wear it for Wicked Faire if it arrives in time, and if it isn't too fussy to wear behind the jewelry table with a Dusk-puppet.



I also went to Necromantic this Saturday, a goth/wave night at the Bowery Poetry Club, to dance around in my newly rediscovered energy reserves. After about an hour of not-too-hard dancing I got super dizzy and had to sit it out. And then go home b/c the dizziness wasn't going away. I was drinking water the whole time, and finished my daily dose of calories before going out that nite, but maybe that wasn't enough calories for dancing. Or my body wants to be eased into exercise after not being at all active since August. Whups. I was very crabby about leaving as the music got more and more wonderful.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
Despite lingering stomach problems that refuse to get lost, I felt better than usual all of last week. Even when I was sick and tired, the feeling of "My body is a big lead, dead weight that needs to be dragged around," did not return.

Friday I left a third message at the doc's office, and she finally got back to me after her listed office hours. My thyroid is mostly normal, except for the T4 level with is at 11.9 instead of 11, but I certainly haven't felt hyper-thyroid-ish lately. So that's something to keep track of for the future. Definitely don't have HIV either, which was the false positive that came back with the previous blood tests, which I found out about the Friday before Xmas weekend. Just ... wtf medicine?

Then my doctor says "Oh, and the tests we did show that you have had mono... sometime in the past, but not right now. We can't pinpoint an exact time. But it shouldn't take someone six months to get over mono." Just like all my T levels should be as normal as my TSH levels? Yeah, sure.

Upon my Book of Faces inquiry, it turns out I have friends that did indeed need 6+ months to totally get over mono and get their groove back. With more similar stories from the interwebs, tho I'm not sure I'd count that as a reliable source. And I can't think of any other time in my life when I felt that way. Even after pneumonia in the summer of 2007, sure I was home resting and taking it easy after going back to work, but I was still getting stuff done at home and not living in a perpetual brain fog. More like this past week where I was beading and writing while sitting at home with stomach aches and sinus problems.

So unless this sudden energy surge f's off and leaves me stranded again, my working theory is that I had mono sometime in the spring or summer, coinciding with one of the massive sinus infections, and it took me until the next year to recover. Did I do something over winter break to finally jump start my system? While having *another* sinus infection at the same time? I dunno.

Am less sure about keeping up with the elimination diet indefinitely, tho. It may have helped me jumpstart, but now I feel much better and my tummy definitely does not. And... I just don't get it. So by *not* eating dairy my tummy is also cranky? WTF? Will give it to the end of January and see if it gets better. I guess.


In the meantime, I'm slowly trying to put my life and social-life back together. Looking forward to trying out Nerd NYC events this weekend and meeting new people (and hoping certain members of my larper lynch mob are not already there). I'm also working on a Steampunk costume ideas and will try one of their meetups at the end of the month. Will try to hit KGB Fantastic Fiction next Wednesday, tho not sure about staying for dinner.

Did go to Necromantic on Saturday, and spent a while working myself into full dance mode, but after an hour of not-all-heavy dancing I got too dizzy to keep going. Got a second glass of water and sat in front for a bit, it didn't go away, so I went home. I think I need to be more careful with exercise for the time being, I haven't been very active at all since summer-ish. Actually, maybe not since early spring-ish before the allergy season started. Whups.

I haven't had another good writing night since that Tuesday before I got sick again, but I'm getting bits and pieces typed out, or transcribed from my notebooks. Will see where it goes.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (witch)
So... Winter Break kinda sucked. Sick! For the whole thing! WTF? )

I did finally make that health-improving honey pot that I'd been planning, a few days late of the new moon but I'm sure it'll be OK. They're like pet rocks for pagans. Not sure if it helped me overall, but I like it. And I finished the last couple of sewing projects I had lying around and put all the equipment away. January is for jewelry now, I need to prep for Wicked Faire in February.

Reflecting, cuz I didn't have much else to do )So assuming I get healthy again, my new life-back-on-track plans involve getting back to my fen roots. And being a con-slut.

Already doing Wicked and DragonCon, probably also Steampunk World's Faire, maybe ICON. Going back to NYRSF and KGB Fantastic Fiction when I can to hang out with the geeky writers.




Oh, and as for the magic writing prompt... CLEAN ALL THE THINGS!!!! )

In brief, once I somehow got juiced on the new year I went into mega productive mode without wanting to curl up into a ball and die afterwards. Cleared a ton of clothes out of the closet. Cleaned most of the apartment. Smudged with cedar and frankincense. Went shopping to get clothes that actually fit me. Made moar jewelry. Wrote the first draft of a podcast sitcom episode. Got sick again (:P) but what can ya do. All of these were things I was putting off, in some cases for months at a time. Too bad I couldn't keep putting off the stomach aches.

I was well enough to come to work today, at least, tho I don't think I can do Tai Chi tonite. I still have the energy but the tummy is all owwwwch. I can go home and do jewelry or writing instead, or just relax my tummy and watch a fancy movie on teh Netflix.


Today I also found out that most of my vitamins & supplements contain wheat and/or soy, so much for elimination diets. And the probiotics I was taking contain milk. YOU FAIL GNC. Tho I had the energy surge despite not taking the vitamins since the Friday before Xmas, so maybe I'll leave off them for a little while and see what happens.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (ravenclaw)
I have a Diaspora account now. There doesn't seem to be any limit to invites I can send, so if you want one just ask :-)

Thoughts so far ... Pros & Cons )

I'm also on Dreamwidth now, obviously, which is the Diaspora of LJ. And I like it so far. Almost the same interface, same tags, and easy crossposting options b/c not so many people are on it. Not that many people read LJ anymore, *shrugs*.



The only new media I'm consuming these days is True Blood, which [profile] arcane_the_sage is showing me. Possible spoilers, pls don't spoil me further. )


I also keep watching The Borgias over and over again, and I think I've figured out some of the reasons why. Tudors vs. Borgias, with spoilers. )

In related news, I've found this season of Doctor Who to be very unsatisfying. For reasons many of my LJ friends have expounded on already. Can someone else take the show over from Moffat pls? Or at least stop him from writing plot and dialog for the female characters? *cringe*


Finally started watching Star Trek TNG in earnest via Netflix, but it's kinda boring. I prefer the plot arcs of B5, which are actual plot arcs. Srsly? The Klingon Civil War lasts two friking episodes? Once in a while a Cardassian does something just to be a jerk. OMG HUGE FEDERATION CONSPIRACY ... settled in one episode. With neck-parasites that B5 made better use of. Shame on you, Star Trek! Utopian societies are DULL. But that makes it good tv for when I'm actually doing something else, like cooking or sewing.


Aside from that, I'm kinda spinning my wheels media-wise. Nothing new or stimulating, which made my summer break kinda boring, and will probably do the same for autumn break.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
The end of the last workday before con is always the most grueling time period. Argh.

Otherwise, things are OK. Realized today is the end of my 'summer break' month. Not really sure where to go from here yet. I don't really feel good, per se, but I feel less bad than I did a month ago. Felt like a long time in some respects.

Tho on the other hand, we did have a hurricane this weekend, preparations for that would stress me out normally, and I had a stomach flu last Thursday and Friday, so its not strange that I feel a bit off right now. Whups. And now I'm going to a con. Maybe I'll add a couple of weeks to my break for recuperation.

Recent happenings. )

Now that I'm sewing *and* watching Star Trek TNG, I have tons of costume ideas. Way to late to make anything for this DragonCon, but there's always next year. And this year, tons of costuming and art panels to attend. Shadowcat (plus new Lockheed puppet) is the only proper cosplay I've packed. At least the new blouse is Tardis blue :-)

This year, in circling things on the schedule grid I'll be focusing on art, costuming, and podcasting, with a dash of gothy stuff and literature. Maybe less BritTrack, b/c its not like I haven't heard these stories before. And my Moffat-rage may derail otherwise fun panels for other folks. We're at the Westin, where there are Steampunks and Browncoats, so I'll probably hang out there for a bit. While it looks like the B5 guests cancelled at the last minute, Sylvester McCoy was added at the last minute, so OMG YAY! Technically my first doctor, if only for ten minutes ;-)

Maybe DragonCon will be the jolt of caffeine-substitute that I need? Get me focused, or at least give me some energy with which to think.

Oh, and there's a Puppet Jam Sunday nite. I have nothing prepared, but I do have two puppets. Yaaaay!

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (will thelemic)
According to my calendar, I've only been on my summer 'break' for two weeks. Feels like longer. I think the isolation is starting to get to me, but I'm still tired and somewhat weird-feeling about large groups of people or crowded places. Add seeing people crow about achievements on the usual online networking pages, plus TTotM, and I'm getting some really wacky mood swings.

Monday I tried to take my day off to relax and shop for fabric, but I forgot that for me shopping is not typically relaxing. Do I have a problem yet? )

Am liking sewing a lot more than knitting. Its faster to see "These pieces are being assembled into a vest." than "This ball will eventually be a scarf, which will be fluffy and bulky and scratchy and leave fibers in your nose." Tried the knitting, no dis to anyone who likes it, but it really was not for me. Also, fabric stores easier so far. However, murder on my back muscles b/c I don't have a good table for fabric cutting.

Is it ironic that I have no idea what to do for Halloween now that I am learning how to sew? I'm stuck in nerd-elitist mode, "I could make a Delenn costume, but nobody would get it." Or I could make the 50s prom dress, add cat ears and fangs, and call it a day.


Mulling over what I miss doing, in the midst of many people on FB gleeing "OMG look what I did!" I miss making jewelry (making stuff in general), writing my scripts, doing a martial arts (style) physical thing, dressing up on a regular basis, and performing. The first three are things I can get together on my own assuming I have the time and energy. There are events to dress up for that some of my friends attend at least semi regularly. The performing may be the trickiest, as it involves the efforts of other people for extended time periods.

Still in the "Ideas not decisions" phase tho.

It seems that I know who I am, but not what I want. *more musing* Don't get me started on "Whom do you serve and trust," eeek.


The Anachronism is this weekend, it is an event in Manhattan rather than Bklyn, and I have a hankering to play dress up, so I will make more of an effort to go this time. Assuming I don't have a sudden relapse of agoraphobia and lose all my saved hit points. I can wear my kimono! Or the long black bell sleeved dress that came too late for Wicked Faire. Been reading some gothy makeup blogs and got my new batch of contact lenses, so more to play with for Sunday. And I have next Monday off again for recuperating afterwards. DragonCon pregame?


Otherwise I will probably spend the weekend moving more stuff around in the Chantry, figuring out how to get a shelf in the extra closet, and sewing stuff. And continuing to catch up on TNG, I'm at the end of S4, tho I just heard that Riker's awesome declines after season 4. *woe*

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (clothes)
Feeling remarkably better today than I have in weeks. The temperature only seemed hit 80, not 85, and I wonder if that's all I needed. On one hand its nice to know that I'll feel better merely when the weather changes. On the other, will I feel this yucky and whiny every summer? Eeek. At least I can keep saying no to my therapist when she recommends teh Zoloft. She's not convinced that it's the weather, but for the most part I am.

Somehow, Pagan Pride Day and the Cloisters Medieval Faire are on my mind (both usually late September, early October). I don't notice the 'autumn echo' like other people are, but maybe its hit me on a subconscious level. Am tempted to sit in the park and read for a while after work, to avoid rush hour.


Lots of weird & vibrant dreams for the last few days. I'm not always getting to bed ontime, which isn't so odd for me, but I'm barely able to drag myself out of bed in the morning. I don't often sleep thru my alarms, so this is weird.

DREAMS! )

Homeowner musings )

Odds and Ends )

As a rule, I don't like my hobbies and projects to be more stressful than my job. But my job is already really not-stressful (I am very grateful about that, omg), so its a rather low bar to begin with. No wonder I burnt out?

Other than that, no huge epiphanies or anything. Just enjoying the quiet and lack of pressure. And shipping for Geordie/Data as I watch TNG on Neflix instant ;-)

<3 Chrysilla


EDIT: No sooner did I post that I got notice the 4 week improv class on Saturdays was cancelled. On one hand DAMMIT (I've wanted to take the Slacker class for over a year), on the other its one less thing to worry about. Not sure if I'll take a refund, or re-enroll in a different elective.

Today's Health Rating:

1-Horrible
2-Thud
3-Meh
4-OK
5-Yay?
6-Yay!
7-Old normal, YAY!

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