chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
Recently, ran my CtD/KND tabletop game for the first time in month, yay! Read more... ) And Sunday I didn't crash out at all! I was a bit brain-scattered and foggy as per usual, but I got chores done and started a couple new embroidery projects, w00t. Last time I ran game was February (I think?) and the day after was a terrible crash (I blame EBV). Another sign that things might be turning around :-)


Overall, energy levels have been very unpredictable. Health Stuff )

The ongoing, overall plan for summer is that if I can't do the creative work I really want (outside of embroidery on the circ desk in the summmer-slow library), I'm going to try and get out more and socialize, b/c that's how Extroverts recharge their spoons. Also, having a pile of recent memories where I'm out with friends having fun would be nice to help stave off darker moments of moping. A new deity has recently popped up in my life that seem to want to help with that, and she's there in a guardian aspect as well, so I think this will come together. If this all helps me pop back into writing sooner, great, but otherwise I need to be OK with waiting for fall.

Tho there's not really a lot of specific social events going on this week, which is a bummer. And I'm a bit strapped for cash again (still working on taming my grocery spending, wth). Wish I hadn't been too sick/recovering to go out last week, tho saving my spoons for game was definitely the best idea. There's a few things I could go see in a pinch, like improv or a movie or blues dancing, tho cash flow is still an issue. I may just stay in and watch tv while working on costume-alterations/fixes for the upcoming cons. Would also like to attempt the Stitch puppet this week/end. Eeek. I has worries.

Then this weekend the 'rents are coming in for brunch sometime, and there's some "nerdswap" events I'm curious about, but I don't really want more stuff. Tho you never know, I might find items I can shellack and put in the garden, etc. I'll see what random items I have that I haven't purged yet, mebbe go thru my bookshelf.

Might bug my local friend to borrow his GoT dvds, b/c I think its just time to finally watch that. Still worried about wanting to make all-teh-costumes, but what I'm *hoping* is that there will be costumes that help with stash busting. And at this point I think my willpower (or disgust) is strong enough that any temptations outside of the stash can be pinned until next year.

I also started watching two new-to-me shows the other week (gasp) which is actually a big deal for me. Supernatural and Black Sails. There is a level of fatigue where you're too tired to watch new TV shows, so def another good sign. This is what I point to when ppl say "maybe you're just getting old-tired" b/c being unable to watch tv or read a book is definitely not just "getting old" :-P

<3 Chrysilla

PS, going to try and post more in my Dreamwidth. B/c some meanderings are just too long for fb, y'know? Which is how this got here in the first place.
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
So... yah. That!

Did a mostly OK job of keeping up on sleep until Wednesday, when I did the gamer downtimes meetup and stayed out too late again. Tho in my defense the trains are screwed up. Tho I should have remembered they were screwed up from Monday nite. *shrugs* I think I got to bed on time Thursday nite too, after much packing and prep work, don't quite remember.


A lot of Arisia is still a blur. I was very worn down, brainfogged, and extra-zombie-fried for most of it, so the happy wasn't as cathartic as last year. However, it was really wonderful hanging out with my local Boston friends as ourselves (rather than as larp characters), and likewise seeing friends from elsewhere and, um, NYC whom I don't see very often. B/c leaving the house is hard. Very much calling this a win, Arisia was wonderful even though my brain was broken. Spent Monday having lunch with some of them, then meeting up with more in the gaming room for one final huzzah over CAH. Despite being brainfogged all weekend I still wasn't prepared to leave. Definitely going back next year :-)

More Arisia! )

I do think that I'm a bit past the point of "Are you sure you don't secretly *want* to be sick?" for chronic fatigue, sinus probs, etc. NO. I DO NOT. I'm still looking for that bit of leverage to get out from under the rock, which I think I did find in MES last spring, but then my sinuses rebelled. Will pick up that acupressure book and try a few more new things, some of which got derailed in the past (oh, you wanted to go to the reiki open circle? here's a hurricane instead :-P). Maybe if I can scrounge up the budget I can start doing acupuncture again, maybe just monthly. The BrainSync page sez I need to use their special expensive sleeper headphones, but I can get one of their MP3s on a gift card and try that out via computer speaker, at least for the first time. I have a whole new pinterest board filling up with the newagey side of self-care and coping.


Tho coming back down to earth again, none of this will probly happen this month. Well, maybe some books b/c I have a B&N gift card. Its rather the opposite of what I was planning, but I've screwed up my regular monthly budget enough that I should probably just stay in and sew, and veg out, for the next couple of weekends. Not to mention that I seem to have shrunk so I want to try out some old sewing patterns to see what fits now. Also, stash fabric. And new patches. Sho many. I did laundry the week before con, so I should have the 'livingroom nook' open all weekend for fabric stuff.

There's IRC stuff tomorrow and Thursday, not sure if I'll be up for it. I really am just in the mood for moar sewing this week, maybe some email gaming. And I need to set up some Dunsirn connections now that this new PC is in the MES database.


Doing mostly OK today, except for that whole "Dude, what did I do last weekend?" sense in my brain. Monday night I got home around 8pm, Amtrak was 20 mins early and then every subway train was at the platform when I needed it (thankyee Eshu). Spaced out on the internet for a little while as I tried to figure out if I were hungry or should eat anyway, then eventually realized I could just go to bed. I was already down to cover the 1:30-9:30 shift at work Tuesday, so that left time for lots and lots of sleep. I did try to tarot, but that part of my brain still isn't functional either. Oh well.

And unfortunately I had to choose either baking brownies *or* making this week's lunches last Thursday, so I won't have a chance to cook again until Wednesday nite. Which means two Bareburger lunches are also going on the $$ tracker. My stomach's been ever so slightly upset by BB the last few times, so at least it gives me a chance to see if one item in particular is doing that to me. Yay? Today no lettuce, and still lots of spicy veggies, but I seem a bit better.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (galadriel lembas mix)
So... been a while. Oops. Moving on...

Winter break turned out to be very low key and sleepy for me. Hibernation )

Adventures in Noms )


And then I came back to work, and tried to give up chocolate. More mixed results... )

For all the food-work, I really don't seem any better in the tummy region. Doctor Stuff )

Far more exciting than medical procedures, Arisia is this weekend! And my friend and I are taking the train to Boston, so I don't have to starve myself or deal with travel sickness. From researching and asking questions on the forum, I've found that most of the hotels restaurants have gf options, so if I can just fit some brownies in my suitcase and find a CVS in town to pick up chips and tuna, I should be fine for noms all weekend.

Ima do my best to treat it as a vacation, and just relax, and do the things I wanna do. And wear pretty things and geek out. Or monopolize the bathtub b/c tired if I have to. But its a new con, so I'm trying not to get to invested in a certain sort of con experience, b/c ultimately I don't know what it is yet. But I'm not vending either, so already score one for me.


Not much else going on. Between germ fear and pre-con preparation (extra rest so far), I haven't gone out much since getting back to work last week. But I did set a Geekolution- Ima watch as much Classic Doctor Who as I can this year. Tho having added 100 DVDs to my Netflix queue, I realized that doing one a week won't finish the series. But if I *only* watch 50 I'm OK with that. And I'm going to try watching them in order, or as much in order as the supply will allow.

Not really setting any actual/normal NY resolutions. B/c anything I want to do is contingent on my health improving, which I've been working on all along anyway. Sitting on my comfy couch and watching DVDs every Saturday nite? That I can probably do, as long as I don't space out and forget to send my discs back.


I think I've decided to get back into sewing, but no more deadlines (except DCon, but that'll get done early). Tho I set out some projects to finish/fix this weekend, and ended up watching DVDs and vegging out instead. I don't consider that a fail. I just miss having some kind of project to work on, and quitting sewing didn't improve the volume of my writing at all. So I'll work on these crafty projects until (hopefully) my brains come back to me. Am also fine not pushing myself on projects right before a con vacation. Fabric can wait.


Also got some Twilight Alchemy Labs oils for ritual work last week. Sadly, it looks like STFU isn't actually helpful in quieting loud neighbors, but White Light is pretty and relaxing, and Radiance of Ra is pretty and energizing. In fact, they all smell really nice (even STFU), so it'll be hard reserving them for ritual use only. Cuz I've totally forgotten the giant box of BPAL (TAL is actually a sub-company of theirs) I already have. I'm silly. And now I need to reorganize my ritual oils box :-P May bring Ra with me for Arisia, in case I need a boost, along with my perfumes.


Less fun, last week served to remind me about how many of my friends are moving forwards with their lives, in a variety of ways and directions, and I'm still just ... stuck. Like I have been for 2.5 years, and 1.5 years of actively trying to dig my way out of zombie-mode. All the weird diets and lifestyle changes may look crazy and time consuming, but they're really all I have to feel like I haven't completely failed yet. So Ima keep on with those :-P

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
Last week's plans kinda backfired. My body, especially the digestive system, is still pretty upset about the medical procedure I have a couple weeks ago. On top of that, extra lethargy and brainfog, which I can't tell is part of the digestive protest or the changing weather. *Or* b'c I tried ginko supplements again last week. The last time I tried them, I was also very extra groggy, but there were other medical things going on too (part of No-vember :-P). Maybe I'll just leave that bottle on the shelf for a few *months* this time and try again later. Its not like it was helping.

And that pretty much sums up last week. Wednesday I forced myself to go see the first two shows at Magnet Megawatt, and the shows were good, and a few ppl remembered who I was which was nice. But while going out with friends for a night of gossip and brain-ing can sometimes wake me from the brain/body fogs, sitting in a dark theater watching a show isn't really as stimulating. Tho they were still very good shows, so I look forward to seeing more improv when I stop having all the brain worms.

Thursday night, b/c it was kinda warm that day, I decided to have a frozen fruit smoothie to help get thru all the stuff in my freezer. The next day my stomach was extra extra cranky. Either the bananas were not-good before I froze them, or blue and blackberries have more oxalates in them than I realized. They're *kinda* high on the scale, but the scale itself is kinda wobbly, and concentrations of a fruit's makeup can change a bit after freezing. I have a friend who may be willing to take the blueberries off my hands, there's a f'ing ton of them b/c I splurged at CC in the early autumn. I'd rather give them to someone who can eat them than toss them out.


The rest of the week I kinda gave up on socializing b/c I just felt so blegh. Didn't manage any writing either. Spent the whole weekend inside, with possible going-out plans in case I suddenly felt better, but nope. I did manage to do the big CC grocery trip, including a frozen duck Ima play with over winter break. And stayed on budget, yay for me.

All teh fooding )

Back on the downside tho, the mouse-problem has returned to the library. Tho it always looks like the same mouse. After the first sighting on ... Thursday (? Ugh, so brain fogged)... some ITS guys showed up to fix the holes they'd made in one of the electrical closets the week before. And those closets are supposed to be totally sealed of holes for firecode reasons, so that seemed a likely reason for the sudden mouse. If its not the same one, there's more holes (but we don't have the keys to those closets, one of the maintenance departments has reign over that), if it is the same one then it must not have gotten back home before they sealed everything up. Either way, I called a second time for moar traps, so hopefully they'll come over soon. Ugh. Do not like, not at work pls :-(

Last week I also picked the Sedona book back up, b/c I've slacked off on that emotional mindfullness stuff. So will see if that helps, with phobias and in general.


This week is pretty clear except for a friend's holiday Yule party next Sunday, and then next week I have my GI follow up and my allergy shot. So this week I may just leave my schedule open for more resting and relaxing until Sunday. And I've already decided not to feel guilty for doing that.

Might as well just accept that my body is still made of fail (and according to a friend who has the same procedure, this can last for weeks afterward :-P) and cross my fingers that I'll feel better for winter break in two weeks (instead of getting my bi-annual sinus infection :-P). And then its two weeks of not having to deal with the world if I don't want to, yay.

Today I came into work to find the package from my friend's shop had come in, yay! Ritual/perfume oils, including a very generous freebie. Already wearing the Lavender healing oil, because. So may get to some pagan-ing while home recuperating. Also realized today that I've been using 'honey jars' like mojo hands. Whups. Not really sure whether or not its working anyway, tho. Tho following that logic, I could try using my spiffy new ritual oils to *feed* them like mojo hands. *ponders*

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (will thelemic)
Having another very brain-foggy Monday. Not sure if this is due to a post-Halloween sugar crash, a weekend cleaning binge, or the DST time traveling yesterday. Or if its just a normal Monday. *shrugs*

Today I impulse-bought a pendant from a friend's jewelry shop called "Saturn Return". I had not realized that amethyst and fluorite were Saturnine stones. (And luckily, there was room in the budget for it :-P) This helped motivate me to look more into Saturn-focused sorcery, which I've been drifting into b/c of the greatest caveat of magic: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Illness and fatigue are also very Saturnine themes. So I'm looking into the more proactive aspects of that planetary/deity aspect to see if there's something I'm missing. And one of the proactive bits: Following a restrictive diet. The archetype has clearly embraced me, so maybe I should make sure I'm not fighting it and making myself more tired. And obviously it started in the later half of my Saturn Return, although it didn't end when the transit did.

Saturn, rings & things )

Yeah... I think I could get behind a more Saturnine disposition. I'd actually been thinking about it before, but not in terms of this archetype which makes it so much clearer. Even before the gamer-mob, I tended towards the path of least resistance b/c it seemed easier. And continued, b/c it meant spending less energy once I turned spoonie. Now I know the value of planning in advance towards spoon-saving later on. "I don't actually need to readdress this. It was already in the contract. Here it is to read again."

Now, I wonder at how ppl will react to my laying down the law early to avoid drama later on. I'm not really worried about it, b/c the people who know me know what I've been through, and I think the people whom I want to work with in the future would respect me and mah shiny new boundaries. But I'm still curious about what happens next. The world outside is often unkind to lady lawgivers.

Overall, I've seen that socializing does increase my energy (esp now that my makeup isn't secretly poisoning me). Not sure if *responsibility* for projects and other ppl will have the same effect tho. TruGeek was kindof a let down in that department, but then that wasn't a very structured project. Even my co-show-runner almost flaked two out of three events, but our DJ was always reliable, so give it 50/50? And my podcasting project won't require me to lug heavy things and lure an unreliable group of costumed people to a yuppie nightclub once a month. This is much more low-key.


The Saturn studies coincide today with articles about "omg occult is sho popular again!" Um... it never really stops being popular, but OK. Its making me wonder if I should try again to get into professional tarot reading. Tho I'd be a Saturnine fortune teller. Not "Here's what you want to hear in a floofily mysteirous tone" but "Hello I am your pseudo spiritual life coach *SMACK*". Everyone likes edgy now, right? Meh.


In other news, last week was pretty mixed. Samhain and Cleaning Frenzy )

Unfortunately, I did not remember that next weekend I won't *be* home, so I'll have to get ahead of my weekly chores this week after work. Including setting up my food situation for the weekend trip itself. At least the house is clean?

I haven't seen many interesting social offerings on my calendar yet, so I should be fine taking the week to myself, and then socializing like crazy at my friend's wedding this Sunday. I hope. They've been wonderful about having gluten free options, so hopefully that all works out for me. And I finally remembered to cancel the extra hotel reservation tonite, go me.

Also, during the weekend's cleaning/filing frenzy I FINALLY found the GI referral. Will call tomorrow and set up an appointment.

During the weekend I kept eating the chocolates I'd picked up, which were actually not dairy free. And I kept forgetting to take a lactase pill after, but I did eventually. Today I didn't take one at all, and when I remembered I had a bit of a tummy twinge, but otherwise not explosions. So either my lactose intolerance is less intolerant, or there wasn't much dairy in those candies to begin with. Either way, more questions about my insides, I hope this new doc is ready for the onslaught.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (witch)
Last week was mostly pretty nice, with a few hiccups along the way. Mostly transit-caused.

Tuesday I got both my BPAL and BPTP orders, yay! Investigated all my new things over the course of the week so I didn't overload my sinuses. BPAL blathering! )

I stayed in Tuesday and Wednesday, partially b/c BPAL, and part b/c I had plans Thursday and Friday. I also baked gf/df cookies on Wednesday which was fun. I tried it with white sugar instead of honey, then a couple tbsp of honey anyway b/c the batter wasn't holding together, and they came out nice and crumbly. And slightly burnt, but in a carmalized way. On Sunday I tried the recipe again with honey and I didn't like them as much. Very simple batter tho, and doesn't make a ton of cookies so I don't have as many to nom. Tho b/c the batter-base is almond butter I *can't* eat all of them at once or I'll asplode from protein overload. On the other hand they don't give me a stomach ache like almond-flour cookies. Almonds are complicated.

The stand mixer still works, but btw that, the crock pot, and my other kitchen devices I may have to reorganize the counter-island again. Meh. Darn tiny kitchen.

Thursday was a very fun IAF meetup. Small, but included two new people from Columbia (the country, not the college) who are building their own SF writing community in their home city. And currently traveling the world to network with people and learn new arts and sciences. Sho much fun! And of course I stayed out too late, forgetting that all of the trains in central Queens were broken. (Monday night too, so I stayed in on Tuesday in part due to sleep dep.) But had good train-luck until I got to Jackson Heights station, where it was suddenly August again :-P

Got home and to bed 90 mins late, but figured I'd be OK to gently push myself through Friday b/c I'd had so much fun. Except around 5:30 I'm woken up by what might be a mousetrap going off, and instead of getting up to go check on things I lay in bed freaking out for another 90 mins. When my alarm went off at 7am it was light enough outside for me to be less freaked, and it turned out something innocuous had fallen over to make that noise. *headdesk* So Friday was a wash. I got thru the work day, did not stick around for the boardgame night I'd been looking forward to, and went right home.

Did some ritualistic things, since it was the so called "Blood Moon", and we had some Things to discuss. That seems to have been a good move. On the way home I picked up some treats for seven days of successful fun-list activities, but ppl were already getting stupid/crazy for the full moon. Great. Best to hide at home.

Saturday was spent with chores and some sewing work, Sunday my Pooka friend stopped by to hang out for a while, and I showed him what its like to use a rotary cutter on knit fabric. And we played with perfumes & tarot cards, and gossiped, and I baked cookies again. Yay for nice afternoon. I then got distracted from *finishing* sewing projects and chores by perfume. Oops. At least I finished the laundry.

Sewing! )

This week the trains don't seem to be broken (so far), but I'm still taking it easy on plans. I have sewing to finish, and both a flu shot and an allergy shot scheduled. There's a steampunk fashion thing happening on Thursday for which I might try to finish Doom Coat, b/c black velveteen goes with everything. A friend wants to go a'gothing this weekend, and its Absolution on Saturday, so will see about that.

Am also nixing that 2-lunches-per-day experiment, b/c it wasn't working out. I ended up with two post-food crashes per day instead of one and a lot more tupperware to wash. It was hard keeping track of my work-flow with two breaks to remember. This week, one lunch one break. If I end up feeling even worse, then I can halve things again next week.

Extended planz )

And in magical mumbo jumbo, gonna be a less than fun week. Tarot & Planets )


Still not getting much writing done, but a friend has an idea for a co-motivational sort of creative group. Maybe that will help?

Based on some of last week's thinky thoughts, wondering if I should start making myself go out every weeknight to see what happens. Well, every night that I'm not recovering from sleep dep or anxiety attacks, or both. In a pinch, there are always several improv-houses willing to take my $$, I'll just skip the bars afterwards. But REALLY want to finish those craft projects this week, so it may be a few more weeks before I have a normal week to try that theory.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (clothes)
Yaaaay, new [profile] s00j album :-D And I got an advanced download of it over the weekend, for purchasing it at Pagan Pride Day. With a fancy sticker :-D


Last week was ... mixed. Wins and Fails )

Weekend = more fun, Pagan Pride, Star Wars, and Fairyland )

There was a LOT of internal kvetching about my stalled out life last week, so on one hand I wonder if that's finally motivating me to change it. To start the small steps that will eventually lead to bigger outcomes. And yoga and writing did happen, and sewing over the weekend, and Pagan Pride Day. But I'm also worried that the kvetching itself, the anger and the frustration, will also drain me. So... not sure what to do about that. Once again, I think the fact that I'm awake enough to be angry is a good sign, but anger itself can make me tired.


Tarot for this week looks... dramatic. Tarot! )

However, this weeks astro stuff seems to be about renewal, and setting up new healthy goals and life habits and such. And blah de blah heart mind balance new moon stuff. OK?


Actually, was already working on some new daily habits. This week Ima try again to split my lunch & break in half, so I don't gorge myself at noon and crash out by the end of the work day. Will see if that helps prevent the brain fog.

That came up in therapy today. Its very hard to figure out *why* the brainfog happens, b/c by its very nature, you can't see or figure out anything when you're in it. B/c its FOG. But I'll try to keep an eye out for triggers this week, even though its hard. At least I'm starting to feel the 'yay, fall!' beat again.


Will try to go right to bed tonight so I can go to a music and literature event tomorrow night (and there are even two to choose from) instead of suffering another Tuesday supercrash. But again, I didn't sleep well last night, and I ate a ton of chocolate today, so we'll see.

The rest of my week is open so far, may keep it that way to work on sewing and otherwise save spoons. In a few weeks it'll be NYCC, which I'm not going to, but I may try some of the after parties. Now that I think of it, there may be a Potterfan meetup on Thursday, but I probably won't go if they're just in the park again.


Another thought tonight- I do kinda miss live theater. But I don't think I can keep up with it physically anymore, except as an audience member (and I even keep failing at that lately). That's why I find podcasting attractive as an artform. I can just do it at my own pace, and broadcast when I'm ready.

And that's been part of the internal kvetching. I don't *think* I can accomplish the projects I want to work on, I *KNOW* I can finish them, and they'll turn out amazing b/c that's what I do. Except that my body won't let me work on them, or even remember that I have plans. Meh. Will figure it out eventually, I hopes.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
So... yah. I posted the last thing, then started getting sick the following Friday, and then it was sinus infection for that whole weekend, and the following week. Today is my first day back at work. Still a little bit congested, but what's really messing me up right now is that my sleep schedule's been frakked. I went to bed at 11pm last night, it took a long time for me to fall asleep, and then I woke up at 7am this morning. I figured I'd doze until 9am, and instead I fell properly asleep again, and got woken up from the middle of a dream-cycle. So now I feel like I haven't slept at all. Meh.

Last week was NOT happy. In the house of sickness )

The year-long tarot forecast I did in May cited 4 of Swords for September, indicating that it would be a chill out, naptime, downtime, stock-taking kind of month. And it made sense, given DCon crash and my usual ragweed problem. But I still hates it when its actually happening. But September is over next week, and October is Strenght, so I'm hoping to get more things done soon. But trying not to push myself given recent illness.


Dad's b'day was last week, and he liked the books I got him: Good Omens, and a Bradbury anthology. But the parental visit that was going to be last weekend got postponed over to this weekend. Still OK tho, yay Bareburger.


Obviously, I'm having more thoughts about how the life changes I'd like to make. And sooner rather than later. But... problems. )

So for now I'm back on If I could just finish this project, and if it became a regular part of my life, it would at least make life more bearable. And maybe if it took off I'd have more options. But when you're all brainfogged, after TWO YEARS of having my life stalled out, its hard to feel optimistic :-/

Had therapy today, and again I'm trying to figure out how much of my CF problem is psychological vs physical now. I've definitely isolated and dealt with (or mostly dealt with) some physical components of the problem. But are there more to find, or am I just stuck in a brain-rut now? Meh. And I am not patient when I'm brain fogged.


This week's social offerings )

Moar sewing: Also started cutting out fabric for the Regency-ish costume for my friend's November wedding. Tho the Doom Coat isn't finished yet, this has a real deadline on it. Cut out the lining to check the fit, next weekend I might cut out the outer layer, or the (easier, previously used pattern) under dress if the neckline matches like I hoped.


So... things. Maybe things will happen this week, maybe I should just continue to keep my head down and wait until next month for real changes. It may just be too easy to hate my life when I have a headcold :-P

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
Reading some newage-y stuff tonite, started thinking about the place/pattern of self-reinvention in my life thus far. And about how I tend to define myself by the projects I work on. Whether it was the jewelry business, or improv, or college for that matter. "I am teh Chrysilla, I do _____ things."

And about how I might commit and buckle down better to the new project I want to work on if I started making it the central part of my identity. So by becoming a writer/podcaster through and through, I'd actually get it together & completed.


On the other hand, I've been clutching on to my 'jewelry artisan' identity for a while now, and not really making any headway with it. Starting to wonder if that's less a CFS thing and more "I'm tired of this skin, next life phase pls." I do like it, when I remember to work on it, but like improv its just somehow not sustaining my interest or passion anymore.

May also have to resolutely put it on the back-burner for the time being to work on the new thing. Lock it all up, out of sight, so I can focus on new stuff. And lock away the guilt too. I could pick it up again later (sans guilt, of course), or maybe learn that it just doesn't suit my life anymore? Or maybe it didn't suit me to begin with (despite my knack for it) and its just taken me this long to figure that out? In which case, I don't regret the time I've spent, b/c I've learned other things from being a shinies-peddler than the craft itself.

Compared with the sewing, there are also a lot more steps involved that are not directly about making the shiny things themselves. Cataloging, pricing, photographing, etc. I wonder if the sewing is still attractive to me because it is just for me. I make the thing, its finished, the end. And its easier to work on in one hour sets, and easier to space out over months so I don't burn myself out, instead of making ALL THE THINGS as quickly as possible. Tho I've gone "ALL THE THINGS" mode on both jewelry and sewing in the past, somehow jewelry didn't convert after the epiphany of time management, yet?


But then again, the writing/podcasting project will include a lot of different steps to build up the stuff, which will then be intangible electronic data. Not sure if that will make the project more or less difficult for me. I have a friend who found that data-based work didn't work for him, tho he was good at it, b/c there was no tangible product at the end of his work day. However, the thought of having less tangible *stuff* is obviously attractive.

I dunno. I still feel this drive to at least try out the new artform (which is actually a reconnection with my old artforms of script writing & storytelling). Between the two, I'd rather give up jewelry (at least for now) and try the new thing. But that doesn't guarantee I'll even finish b/c fatigue. And if I do finish, no guarantee of "success" (however I define it) either.

And the podcasting may bring out some of my own traits that old friends haven't seen in a while, and new friends haven't seen yet. I will inevitably surprise some ppl, not sure if the results will be worth it, considering the path-of-less-resistance is a bit easier on the fatigued. At least on this project I can be selective on who I invite, audio-drama benefits from a smaller cast, unlike my experiences with larping or improv. I don't have to deal with tons of OOC drama to keep enough warm bodies in the room to play :-P


I guess this week's tarot kinda feeds into that. Sowing new seeds at the start of a long, new, exciting but probably slow-moving process. Strength is rather self-explanatory, tho Shadowscapes also notes the strength of flexibility. And then there's leaving behind an old situation that isn't working, to gain rest & perspective, and free oneself of dead weight.
Tarot Pic! Plus astro-bits. )

Maybe I just need a change to wake me up. The big change I'd really like to make is really not feasible given illness & finances. Tho in that case, could a lesser change (assuming success) lead to a bigger one?

These kinds of thoughts are usually more Samhain than Mabon, but I guess it doesn't hurt to get started early. May do some ritual-izing (everyone's in Scorpio, lol) to help me focus. "This is The Box of Things That Can Wait." :-)

<3 Chrysilla


ps, No I'm NOT giving away free jewelry supplies, will verbally dope-slap anyone who asks. Whenever I bring something like this up and that's the immediate response, the perpetrators sound like a bunch of vultures. If I were going to cash out, I'd actually *cash out* and resell everything on Etsy. Its not just hobby-fodder, its business materials bought and paid for as a long term investment.

And I'll leave the Etsy shop open, even if production is on the backburner, tho I might lapse on tweeting and blogging if that energy would be better applied elsewhere. Its not like dropping that ball will make a huge difference now :-P
chrysilla: (dw Tardis)
Ooof. Migraine day. Sho many possible reasons, bleh. But it did motivate to read short stories out of an actual book today, because less eyestrain that way. Will probably resume after blahging.

Its odd tho, despite the migraine I've been relatively high energy today, and at therapy and for the beginning of my work-shift I was downright chirpy. This is good, right? I had chili and corn chips for 'breakfast', so I guess corn chips are still magical.

Also hot enough in NYC now that I could wear not-dry-yet laundry out of the house and it didn't matter. Yay?

On a related note, since I'm having trouble getting to bed on time again, and showers sometimes wake me up, or I'm too crashed out to shower *by* bedtime, I should just shower right when I get home. Even if I did have to go right back outside ... summer.


Friday was Solstice, which I wasn't really planning to do anything for aside from change the salt bowl, but friends called towards the end of the work day, and there was park, Italian bakery, and West Village walk fun. So that was quite nice :-). I really miss hanging out in the West Village, I should do that more often. Tho I probably won't attend the Pride Parade this year, b/c it would completely crash me out. But the week leading up and after will probably have a nice energy.

Was a little worried about going to Roccos for meringues, after the cross-glutening incident way back in May. In the past, I'd gone with my friend for meringues, which say gluten free on the menu, but the place is not a dedicated OMGGF bakery. And sometimes I'd crash out really hard after a nite at Roccos. On the other hand, that was months ago, when I would hang out with my friend *late* on Monday nites after work. So it could have been gluten, but it also could have been a sleep thing. I didn't feel any more crashed out than usual on Saturday and Sunday, so yay I can still have other people's meringues :-D


I got things done over the weekend, despite the rising heat index. Care & Feeding Accomplishments! )

Sewing and Fabric Accomplishments! )

Also also, there were some very productive periods of insight into my personal Care & Feeding needs. Care and Feeding of teh Chrysilla )

Just realized that I have brownies at home, and didn't bring any with me today. Durnit. Maybe I'll have one when I get home, but Mondays are late and I don't want to sugar-hype myself out of my own sleep.

Looked over some of the upcoming bills today, and it looks like my co-op maintenance bill is just my electric, at less than $20. Sometimes in June we get this abatement thing, kindof like a co-op wide refund from tax stuff credited to our accounts, and sometimes its been as much as 50% of my maitenance bill. But never all of it. Unfortunately, the bill-pay website doesn't actually show us the *bill* or any explanation, just how much we owe, so I won't know what's going on until we get it in the mail. A very nice surprise, but still weird.


I forgot that this Saturday is Nerd NYC's Recess event, yay! Except that this throws off my fabric-related plans for next weekend. Will keep the food-related chores simple and see what I have time for on Sunday. Maybe do some of the cooking on a weeknight. Also, I'll probably only be there until Geek Trivia and then go home for the nite. Tho based on how I'm feeling *right now* I'm not sure about being active this weekend. Bleh, dumb migraine.

Tomorrow there is also a Steampunk Meetup, and its right near work, so Ima go to that. It leaves me with two hours between work and meetup with which to hunt for exotic hair stuff, and maybe get the French macarons I didn't try on Friday. Should probably pack a dinner-box too, since my financial karma is bad this week. I will not try to finish the Victorian-ish jacket by tomorrow. Can bring it next month, or post pictures on the internet for interested parties.

In a few weeks, might have a gathering at my house with my DCon roommates who all want to do the Steampunk B5 cosplay project. Yaaay people coming over but not too many at once yaaay.


Wednesday I might hang out with an old friend and give him RPG books that have been sitting in my Discardia basket for him for a few months (argh, brainfog). Another couple of friends have claimed items from the basket, have agreed to pay for shipping, and now I have their mailing addys, so I will bring them to the post office either this (if no Recess) or next weekend. There's also a swap-table at Recess, if I go, and I could probably load up my rolling suitcase with stuff and leave it out. I think most of what I have left isn't strictly geeky, but I just need to get rid of it at this point.

Having a few weird attachment issues with a few items, but its less "I luv this book" and more "I never actually read this, but its been on my bookshelf since I was little, who would I be without it?" I've read about similar feelings from people with hoarding disorders, I'm surprised it doesn't come up with me more often. But I really want to not have this giant basket parked out on my floor anymore. Go *away* extra stuff! I want my space back!

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: Queen of the Cat People, class with a cult following. (Default)
That was pretty much my weekend. With a dash of socializing, which was nice.

I had a few chores slated for the weekend, but at some point (Saturday?) I suddenly decided my longer to-do list of things just needed to get done already. Like a debt snowball in my brain, tasks that seemed complicated or carried emotional baggage/anxiety were taking up a lot of space and energy in mah brain, and I would not be free until they went away. So my accomplishments list is a bit crazier this week.

Accomplishments! )

Even with the stuff I didn't complete, I've done a LOT of unf#$%ing of my space since MDW. And now there's room on top of the fridge for more kitchen gizmos. Yay/ohnoes!


For all the work I did this weekend, and OMG my back hurt by Sunday night, and I still had to finish the dishes and laundry, I do not feel like a wreck today. Health, post unF***ing )

That was nice tho, having ppl come over to visit me. Tho one kept getting bothered by my balcony curtain. I am still not sure about the hermit thing, but at least my home is more comfy for visitors.

Speaking of hermitting, this week's tarot forecast is ... dramatic on the subject:

TAROT! )

This weeks plans ... don't really have anything specific yet. May work on some of the bits of housework I didn't get to over the weekend. Or just relax and do the Sedonia work I didn't get around to over the weekend. Hopefully the move to clean came out of my emotional unpacking, and wasn't a resistance-ploy to keep me from working on it further, which I had planned to do last weekend. Not sure how comfy it will be to hang out in WSP given all the rain that might happen. Also not sure what's going on for Dad's Day this year. Hopefully no energy crashes.

Oh, and I have to get plane tix and roommates for DragonCon. But thanx to my year-round tithes to the dragon (via online savings account) it should be financially OK this year. But I need to write down my ppl-interactions on it, b/c otherwise Ima forget who's interested, again :-/ Darnit brainfog!
chrysilla: (witch)
Its another long, slow Monday night at work full of coughing patrons. But after tonight, no more Monday nites until June, b/c I'm taking off for my b'day next week, and the week after is Memorial Day. And after that, its summer session, and hopefully most of the coughing patrons will be off and away. So ... one more night.

I really hope summer session helps me reset my system some more, and set up some new habits. Like working on photo/writing stuff while on the circ desk, getting a more regular sleep cycle for a few months, etc. Becoming less cranky about patrons in general. At least I hope its not *more* stressful, that may be the summer of 2014. There's a plan to replace all of the windows on our floor, which are all floor to ceiling and make up almost the whole outer wall of the library. Not sure if they'll shut us down for that this time, tho.


The weekend was ... adequate. Indian food is magical? )

And the plan is to do combined MomsDay/CrisDay stuff on this coming Saturday, since I'll have a four day weekend and hopefully not be too ded tired to enjoy myself outside like this weekend. Might get a couple of (light, folding) things for the balcony, its too bad I was in no state to work on that space this weekend. The rainy weather is actually great for that. Oh well.


I found a little sketch pad I was no longer using for ideas (b'c I don't really have many of those anymore) and am starting to use it as a food journal this week. If my brain really does need a less fibrous, more-complex-than-plain-sugar type of carbohydrate to function, I will figure out which one hurts the least. Am also working on eating less fresh fruit/veg to see if my tummy settles. Counter-intuitive for spring, but welcome to my life.


And this is our tarot forecast: Tarot pic! ) Hopefully good omens for creative work. And y'know, birthday. I will settle for being awake enough to remember to meditate and do some yoga.

Was going to try and organize some written script bits this evening, but just spaced out instead. *shrugs* I'm considering going on a blog-fast for a few weeks and reading through the collection of short story collections I keep at the office, b/c the blogs were just too distracting tonite. I think my brain needs more complexity in its input, and not just food-wise.

Still not balanced. Don't really have anything to balance *with* yet. But I'm feeling a tiny bit better than last week, so hopefully this is the start of good things.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (tarot)
Yah, its Beltane, I'm wearing my handmade green dress with the handkerchief hem. Last night I did all the candle and tarot stuff. Some consider the Celtic festivals start at sunset the night before, and I figured I may not remember or feel up to doing stuff the next day, so I figured I'd better put it together while I felt able. Also picked up a bouquet of vibrant, dark purple mums for my flower pitcher, so it was more difficult to be moody when there were fresh flowers in the house. Lol.

Last week I did a bunch of tarot, with an eclipsey full moon in Scorpio, so it was all very MYSTERY and DARKNESS and BEWARE type stuff. Wanted to still do something for Beltane, so I focused more on the themes of growth and renewal. Where am I going? What can/could I develop? And I think it worked out pretty well. I used the Shadowscapes deck, since I used Cat People last week, and I use Steampunk all the time now. May switch to Shadowscapes for weekly updates cuz I'm kinda tired of the Steampunk deck's drama.

Tarot pictures! )

So yah, Beltane. Will probably go for a walk around the park after work today, but I also need to pick up some flash drives so I can do my photo editing on my lunch breaks at work. Am considering doing something about my lagging inspiration problems, but I figure that's all tied into the CF problems anyway, so if I get healthier that may wake itself back up. It already is a leetle bit. Patience, kitteh. And last night kept me up past my bedtime, for which I feel not so sprightly today. Whups.


BTW, this was this week's forecast: Another tarot pic! )
Yeah... Steampunk Tarot, you got some drama problems. I'm not feeling this level of badness yet, tho I don't really feel as well as last week. Its also TTotM, so mebbe I should just lay extra low this week.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: Queen of the Cat People, class with a cult following. (Default)
So, full moon in Scorpio with a partial eclipse, no wonder I've been extra introspective this week. And getting somewhere with it, tho still at a snail's pace.

Figured I'd do a tarot reading to see where I was with things. Not without road bumps, but wow hermitting does seem to be a good idea right now.

And since I know ppl who are interested in such things, here's how my kind of tarot reading works:

Tarot analysis, wit big photos )

So yeah, Ima keep working on teh me, and things will be OK. Sorry in advance if I can't make it to your gigs/emergencies, but I'm just not up for it right now.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
I think this is the beginning of Hardcore Hermitting Week Four, and ... I almost am starting to feel better?

Its difficult to gauge, I think I'd be feeling better if I hadn't been sick last weekend. And between illness and world-wide news last week, I was pretty ready to go home Friday night and stay in my chantry until the world's proper end. But my neighbor-friend tempted me two blocks away to his house with grass fed beef shin and properly cooked bone marrow, and probably some plant matter that I don't remember. My stomach couldn't get thru all of it, but I think I ate most and didn't explode, so yay for that.

He also got me started on Hemlock Grove, for better or worse. Its VERY Twin Peaks like, to the point where I think they played a remix of the theme music during the school-dance scene in episode 2. It has the same weird ungainly mix of pacing, where some bits are just so f'ing boring and pointless, and other parts you need to rewind and turn on the subtitles to figure out what just happened. A lot more graphic than TP, with much better special effects, and more teenage drama thrown in. Also, lots of characters vomiting, I guess that's supposed to make it more edgy. *shrugs* Got a bit more than halfway through this weekend, will probably finish it next weekend.


Things happened other than tv this weekend. Accomplishments )

Sadly, no creative beading/writing work got done this weekend. But I half expected that due to being sick last week. I did dream of packing up lots of beads and jewelry supplies Saturday nite, tho, to take with me somewhere or other. Don't remember any other details. I did re-pack a bunch of the new materials into my traveling bead kit for this week. Yay new necklaces in strange new color combos. Maybe someday I'll remember to photograph the pile of pieces I've already completed.


This week's focus is to read the books I already have on treating anxiety problems. New Brain-Hacking )

This week's tarot reading looks dramatic but hopeful: Tarot! )

Also mulling over b'day plans. Maybe go for dinner with ppl in a Chrys-safe restaurant, and then go to see the new Star Trek movie? But this would be 5/18, and I'm not sure which of my friends will not have already seen it by Saturday.

Beltane is coming up, and I just don't give a f#$%. Another reminder to change the salt-bowl. Tho I'm tempted to make this year's prayer something along the lines of "No, F#$% YOU universe!!" *sigh* Its a 'school' nite anyway. Some friends' b'days are the following weekend, fun but I'll probably only be able to do one.

But here I am, and I will keep on keepin' on for another week. I actually feel kinda impatient right now, like I'd rather be at home doing creative stuff than here at work. Tho if I *were* suddenly home, that's no guarantee that I'd actually do anything. Still pretty brain fogged, so who knows.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
Life, or something like it, continues.

And Ima start keeping track of Accomplishments )

Am more than a little annoyed that this time last year was my most active time of 2012, but so far I've been mostly stuck in my old pattern of "want curl up in ball and hide". On the other hand, last winter was a lot milder.

Oh, and back then I also thought the CF thing had come from a mono infection, b/c my doctor found antibodies. Apparently 90% of adult humans have those antibodies, whether or not they remember having had mono, evar. Oh, Dr. Lame :-P

I'm still having more good days than I used to, but I seem to be on a decline. In the last week and change I'm having trouble getting to bed on time, I was a lot better at that after the new year started, and right after the year's first S.I. The lack of sleep seems to be making my life suck, tho.

Quite a lot of my energy goes towards advance-planning, but I'm not sure if this is helping me or adding to teh issues. Taking an afternoon/evening each weekend to do all the cooking for a week of lunches. Planning a week worth of work outfits on the weekends so I don't have to think about it in the mornings. Packing a bead kit for my lunch days at work. Etc.

Am getting more curious about what happens when I start treatment for sleep apnea. But not curious enough to remember to call them and set up an appointment yet. *sigh* The brain fog is still rather relentless. But I hope 'treatment' is more than a patronizing lecture about my weight :-P The CF started *before* I got chubby.

Tho now that I think about it, the CF started with the overdose of S.I.'s in the Spring of '11, and those are by nature a respiratory infection. It would be interesting if that constant chain of illnesses did something to F up that part of my body in a more long term (sleep-apnea) way. Not sure if that's how it works tho.


Wicked Faire is in little more than a week. As this week drags on I'm less and less happy in general, but I'm framing WF as a reward for weeks of annoying grogginess. Hopefully it will be fun enough to make that true, and luckily I have Pres Day off to recover.

This weekend I'll be cooking two work-weeks worth of lunches at once, plus prepping my WF food stash. All of that shopping can be done in my neighborhood, so hopefully "Shrodinger's Storm" won't crimp my plans too badly. Will probably try to get some of my groceries tonite, tho.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: Queen of the Cat People, class with a cult following. (queen's shiny)
Its been a mixed couple of weeks, to say the least.

Good and Bad Things )



This week is about buckling down to do the thing you've resolved to do. But really, all that I've resolved to do is be healthy again. So this week I'm going to keep taking it easy, not stress out about my upcoming vendor engagement. Get to bed on time again. However, that should be getting priority over script writing right now, but the potential podcast is the shiny new project, so ... argh. And I have trouble focusing on it while I'm on break at work.

Other things that need doing = cataloging and photographing teh latest craftwork, even if its just for my records rather than teh Etsy shop. I'm not doing any Etsy updates before Wicked, would be silly if I just sell the piece at the con anyway.

In long-term plans I'm also looking into setting up my own website for sales. Along side the Etsy shop until they shut down all the actual artisans, b/c Etsy seems to be on a downward spiral of lame now. And yet scammers can still sell designer knock off bags so long as they label them "vintage"? WTH?


But yay, its Imbolc this week. Ima light some candles and do some craft work, now that the house is already clean. Goddesses LUV craft work! And protecting their novitiates from giant bugs I hopes.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (witch)



Last week's writing prompt was Maps, and I was planning to attend a KGB reading, and go to a friend's party, and maybe an improv show. Unfortunately from Wednesday onwards I felt pretty ill. First a broken-heater-at-work induced case of the sniffles, and then my friend fooded me to death. Not with bad quality food, mind you, but with a 2000 calorie meal that was extremely high fat. Whups. We have since had the conversation of what a Chrys sized portion looks like.

My first thought on sacred spaces was, "What about my chantry? My home base?" but after many months of mono that decided to give up just as the NYC winter turned cold, it felt like a cheat. But while I was home sick, and really just every once in a while, I appreciate how much I've succeeded in turning a dorm-room shaped studio co-op into my own sacred space after three years of consistent work.

It still gets cluttered, and sometimes mundane items go wandering, but after years of celebrating a Discardian lifestyle it is waaaay cleaner than most of the geek-dens I have ever seen. Or non-geek dens, actually. And usually my artsy and/or ritual stuff is where it's s'posed to be. And as I discovered in 2011, an excellent place to recuperate. If I could just update the kitchen, things would (hopefully) be perfect.

And recently I realized that the middle window pane is just the right width for tea lights. W00t!

I spent Saturday night at home instead of going to a friend's Dragon-New-Years party, but I ended up typing up a complete radio episode draft. And it was the pilot (or at least that's the plan so far), so if I can start completing the first few eps of the run then I can send them to my volunteer proofreaders in a less confusing manner. So the Chantry is good for jewelry work *and* writing, hooray!


And here are some Chantry pics. Deb sez its like an urban Tumbleweed house, and I'm cool with that :-)


<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (will thelemic)
Still not coming back to the 'my body feels like a lead weight' feelings of last year, but the brain fog may be returning. However, I also haven't been sleeping on time for the last couple of nights, so it may not be as bad as I think. Some'un gimme a lantern?

Don't eat the polymer clay directly out of the toaster oven. Or the dice. )

Since I stopped feeling tired *all* the time, my skin's started breaking out like it normally does. It was suprisingly clear while I was on the mono-rail. I've heard that acne can get worse while suffering from mono. Even my autonomic body systems have to do things their own way.


Am drawing a bit of a blank on this week's writing prompts from the blogs I follow.

BatFit's latest challange is replace a bad habit with a good one. Still too tired for exercise, and for some reason this week I'm having all the food cravings I skipped for the weeks spend on the elimination diet, so I'm really just fighting to maintain my good habits. It was easier to be on the diet all the time than have it go weekdays-on, weekends-off. Still too tired for exercising, maybe due to frosty sleep dep.

Tho on the upside, I was able to satisfy today's chocolate craving with half of my pre-L1D dose. And according to another friend's no-sugar focused diet plan, 3g of sugar at a meal is OK, and I had about 6.

Maybe I'll try a non-fitness goal? Replace buying shiny things with making them? Lol.


NYNY/CharmedI'mSure is to return to a place of 'sacred' relevance to me. Um... dunno. The Met? The Cloisters? The Ruben (free Friday nite)? Chinatown for the NY fest? When? By myself? The Enchantments of my youth is gone (replaced by a mediocre copy), as is the Washington Square I used to love a bit more. I'm going to try to attend KGB Fantastic Fiction tonight, which is certainly a special place to me that I haven't been to in a cat's age. Not sure that the 'jewelry-district' counts in this context ;-). I'll think of something.


I also haven't felt much up to writing this week so far. Moar sleep dep? Should I skip KGB for writing and shiny-making tonight? I am feeling a bit writer-ish right now, but I can't focus due to grogginess. I don't know either of tonight's authors personally, and I'm not sure how my tummy will do at dinner afterwards.

Or I could just chill out and take it easy tonight, b/c I'm still coming off six months of mono and I'm freezing to death at work.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
There was a call for check ins on the mothership so I figured I'd update.

My only solid goal for this year was to be healthy, and at least energy wise I'm feeling a LOT better. Its like someone flipped a switch somewhere inside me on Jan 1st, and suddenly I can keep up with beading and writing projects again. Getting back on track with all of the projects I felt were worth skipping out on improv for ... six months ago. Better late than never.

One thing tho, my tummy still hates me and is torturing me with IBS. Despite being on a no wheat/soy/sugar/dairy/etc elimination diet. I don't get it. My dad hast GERD (I think?) so I'm wondering if the more-raw diet I'm on is actually messing with the PH levels in my stomach, which then sets everything afterwards into outrage. And I think its gotten worse since my energy levels increased. WTF tummy?

Oh well. As part of my Solstice celebration, I did tarot as per usual. And b/c I was home sick that day my questions were health related:

Tarot pic! )

Definitely a good looking omen :-) Rejuvenation, searching out mysteries, working on my own balance, opening the heart and mind again, and conunctio (tho in my case, most certainly not the sexy fun times sort).

A tarot card reader at a Samhain pagan party said my energy and health would return around the Solstice, and I would be able to come back out of my cave and get lots of creative projects going again. I was rather dismayed when I came down with a sinus infection right after the winter holidays, but then it turned completely around. So thanks tarot reader! A pair of readers at Wicked Faire 2011 warned that I'd be sick for about six months... guess I should have heeded that advice more, but I thought it meant allergy season which was also pretty rotten.

I'm not sure I really need to enchant for other goals right now. Would like to focus on healthfulness for a while longer, until the stomach problems dissolve (I hopes). And all my other projects are starting up and falling back into place just b/c I'm starting to feel better. Yay!

Lol, I have been to the city of Mono, and I have come out again :-) (Um, I hopes?)

<3 Chrysilla

Today's Health Rating:

1-Horrible
2-Thud
3-Meh
4-OK
5-Yay?
6-Yay!
7-Old normal, YAY!

July 2017

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