chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
Recently, ran my CtD/KND tabletop game for the first time in month, yay! Read more... ) And Sunday I didn't crash out at all! I was a bit brain-scattered and foggy as per usual, but I got chores done and started a couple new embroidery projects, w00t. Last time I ran game was February (I think?) and the day after was a terrible crash (I blame EBV). Another sign that things might be turning around :-)

Overall, energy levels have been very unpredictable. Health Stuff )

The ongoing, overall plan for summer is that if I can't do the creative work I really want (outside of embroidery on the circ desk in the summmer-slow library), I'm going to try and get out more and socialize, b/c that's how Extroverts recharge their spoons. Also, having a pile of recent memories where I'm out with friends having fun would be nice to help stave off darker moments of moping. A new deity has recently popped up in my life that seem to want to help with that, and she's there in a guardian aspect as well, so I think this will come together. If this all helps me pop back into writing sooner, great, but otherwise I need to be OK with waiting for fall.

Tho there's not really a lot of specific social events going on this week, which is a bummer. And I'm a bit strapped for cash again (still working on taming my grocery spending, wth). Wish I hadn't been too sick/recovering to go out last week, tho saving my spoons for game was definitely the best idea. There's a few things I could go see in a pinch, like improv or a movie or blues dancing, tho cash flow is still an issue. I may just stay in and watch tv while working on costume-alterations/fixes for the upcoming cons. Would also like to attempt the Stitch puppet this week/end. Eeek. I has worries.

Then this weekend the 'rents are coming in for brunch sometime, and there's some "nerdswap" events I'm curious about, but I don't really want more stuff. Tho you never know, I might find items I can shellack and put in the garden, etc. I'll see what random items I have that I haven't purged yet, mebbe go thru my bookshelf.

Might bug my local friend to borrow his GoT dvds, b/c I think its just time to finally watch that. Still worried about wanting to make all-teh-costumes, but what I'm *hoping* is that there will be costumes that help with stash busting. And at this point I think my willpower (or disgust) is strong enough that any temptations outside of the stash can be pinned until next year.

I also started watching two new-to-me shows the other week (gasp) which is actually a big deal for me. Supernatural and Black Sails. There is a level of fatigue where you're too tired to watch new TV shows, so def another good sign. This is what I point to when ppl say "maybe you're just getting old-tired" b/c being unable to watch tv or read a book is definitely not just "getting old" :-P

<3 Chrysilla

PS, going to try and post more in my Dreamwidth. B/c some meanderings are just too long for fb, y'know? Which is how this got here in the first place.
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
O wow, two weeks with no proper update. Tho I did use Dreamwidth to take notes on my tummy history, b/c I finally saw the new GI last week, yay! After losing her number and forgetting to call since late January. Dumb brainfog.

Not much happened the week before my friend's wedding (weekend after my last update) b/c I was busy prepping and overall being stressed about travel. But it ended up really nice :-) WeddingCon! )

Last week was ... mixed. Was high on wedding goodwill, but because of the skin irritation the rest of the week put kindof a damper on me. And I had to make a trip to Wallmart for Rich Ppl Whole Foods to get gluten free body lotion and shower stuff. But at least the SoHo location keeps that in its own little area away from most of the annoyingness.

Wednesday I took a half day off so I could finally see my GI, and she is very nice. Didn't dismiss my "oxalates" discovery out of hand, and wants to do the standard list of uncomfortable diagnostic tests. She was actually pleased that I already knew a lot of what she was talking about (other doctors have gotten annoyed with me about that in the past). So the first uncomfortable test is next Monday, before Thanksgiving, b/c I just want to get it over with.

As for oxalates, Adventures in Research )

After the GI I had a therapy session scheduled, but I had a big block of time and there was an urgent-care facility between the offices, so I got my skin problem checked out. Probably TMI ) My one concern now is that if this is/was viral, and I was just at a *wedding*, I REALLY hope it wasn't contagious :-/ But at least it was short lived. And it wasn't bedbugs, phew.

Thursday I still felt skin-yuck, but teh Pooka managed to get me out of the house for the evening with another new friend. Leading to a WTF? moment at Bareburger on Laguardia, where there was a string of mixups about whether or not my *salad* was actually gf. And the confusion started *after* I'd eaten some of if. In the end, they comped my certified GF salad b/c of all of the freaking-me-out that happened. Not as bad as the dead-grasshopper-salad incident, but still, wth Bareburger? And then we went to a nice cafe in the East Village, where the server was very kind about all my food issues. Ironically, feeding me gets *more* complicated in a vegan place b/c of my issues with dates, soy, and gluten. But overall a nice evening out :-)

This weekend started out OK, but kindof sputtered out. Forecast: BRAINFOG )

So today I'm still in zombie mode, but with a shiny new necklace at least. And somehow I made it to therapy on time which is not normal. Does not compute. I think the prednisone I was RX'ed is making me feel weird, but I want to finish out the bottle (Wednesday morning) to make sure the skin problem doesn't come back.

Its weird how I feel like I've come off a really rough week of something, and I really haven't. Its not even been a difficult Monday. Meh.

Realized I should start picking up Xmas gifts for teh fam while I'm having a fiscally responsible month with an extra payday. So that should be fun once I waketheFup. Tho it may be mostly gift certificates, b/c low spoons. If that changes right before Xmas I'ma feel like a jerk tho. Just trying to finish that necklace for *me* was a huge chore, I don't even want to think about making shinies for other ppl these days. Tho maybe that's the Rx talking again?

Also considering a BPAL order, but not a gigantic one. Maybe for Turkey Weekend. At first I thought it was stupidly crazy to type up my full collection into a .doc file, but it's actually been pretty useful for the last week. "That sounds nice, but do I have something similar already? Was that a note I didn't like?" Helped me whittle a list down to two items instead of six. Yaaaaay. I will take any excuse to feel clever these days.

Overall I think I've become steadily less stuff-oriented this year. Hail Discardia! )

I did manage to purge some old but pretty jewelry displays to give away (they just don't fit my style anymore), will photograph them for ppl to look at ... eventually. And I still have boxes of books and equipment to ship to friends who called dibs in *March*, so I really need to haul my butt to the post office. Ugh. My mail-scale still isn't working right, so maybe they'll be OK if I send them an invoice for s/h instead of checking with them first :-P

Last week I had new inklings for a puppet/video/youtube project but ... ugh. I really don't want new projects. I wanna finish the old projects. So am keeping this under my hat for now, tho I'll happily take notes in case I ever have that much energy again.

This week's tarot is very OMG BOOM DRAMA CHANGE OMG!See? )

Despite tarot forecast, I kinda just want to take it easy now. Tho that could still be the short-term Rx talking. I have my GI diagnostic next week, for which I'll have to spend the weekend in preparation (ugh), and then Turkey Day after that, and probably not much happening that weekend either. So there's still a part of my brain that's going 'OMG HAVE ALL THE FUN AND CREATIVE STUFF OR ELSE' but really... I just want to chill. I won't *know* anything new about my tummy until December anyway, so not interested in doing more dietary research.

I was hoping November would be a lot more productive in terms of projects and socializing after WeddingCon, but I couldn't help being sick, and now I want to get this medical stuff over with, so its being productive in its own way. I'm trying a controlled, temporary measure of "F#$% it, I give up" for a couple weeks until then. If I socialize or write stuff, awesome, if not then whatevs.

Unfortunately, I'm also starting to rethink my '2014 MOAR CONS' plan, Con = tired )

Now that I think of it, taking a couple of weeks off from actively trying to restart my life may be the change I actually need. Then I can start fixing things again if I feel better after that. But then if it takes me *this* long to recover from a trip to PA, maybe more cons isn't such a great idea afterall.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
Still alive. I think?

Wicked Faire was a lot of fun. Even though I was feeling pretty wiped out, despite surprise days off before hand, but it was easy enough to chill at my booth and let the con come to me. And the lower table price took a HUGE weight off my mind. And we had really nice neighbors, and really good traffic flow. I brought the puppet, which actually made salesmanship a lot easier for me. W00t!

It was a good reintroduction to sellin stuffs in person, and I'm looking forward to Steampunk World's Faire with my two friends' jewelry companies. We've been approved for hotel-room vending so all of my nefarious b'day plans are coming together. Yay!

Unfortunately, aside from that there were many weeks of badness for my brain. First there was the massive roach incident in January, but then a week before Wicked I had a FRIKING MOUSE in my home. On the 15th floor of a building that does not have hollow walls. Just... ARGH. The anxiety backlash of that was a lot worse than the roach, I had to stay over my friend's house overnight, it was pretty bad. And just as I was getting over the roach incident, so all of *those* feelings came back too.

The Monday before Wicked, a big water tank on the roof of my work-building broke and flooded the whole building. The library I work in is the second floor down, and is probably the only floor with extensive carpeting instead of linoleum, so we got some extra time off while people came in to repair the damage. It was still pretty wet and disheveled when we came back, and only this week things seem to be going back to normal. All of last week I had an obstacle course of extra displaced furniture between the door and my desk, that was not fun. Not to mention displaced books to look for, loud fans, and our new carpets getting pulled back up. Barely any books were damaged (about 20) so the worst part of this so far has been all our newly renovated stuff getting wrecked and thrown out. And the renovation wasn't fun for me in the first place. At least this work stress (supposedly) has a time limit?

So for the last few weeks, between the fun Wicked Faire, office stress, and the brain-cracking phobias, I've been really f'ing drained. Being at home is not relaxing when you're afraid to work in your kitchen, and looking nervously in all the dark corners every five minutes. It slowly sucked all the excitement out of upcoming SWF, ICON (oh F$%# I still need to buy my ticket), and other things. Last week I felt like I'd been thrown back into November as Little Miss Mononucleosis. Too tired to have a social life, frequent migraines, misery at my inability to do anything with my marvelous plans and schemes. I am sho frustrated, considering how much better I felt in early January, and how Wicked Faire turned out well.

Schemes Interrupted )

Last night I really fell into a pit of angst, about my lack of energy and my life going nowhere as a result. I resisted *most* of the miserably whiny FB updates I wanted to write. I decided "Fine. I give up. No more life or projects until I feel better, F.U. body!! *angstangstangst*"

And today I feel ... better. Not 100%, but better than yesterday and last week. Like I could go to the NYRSF reading tonight without collapsing. So... srsly? I have to have to out-drama my own body to get it to work right? *sigh*

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
The end of the last workday before con is always the most grueling time period. Argh.

Otherwise, things are OK. Realized today is the end of my 'summer break' month. Not really sure where to go from here yet. I don't really feel good, per se, but I feel less bad than I did a month ago. Felt like a long time in some respects.

Tho on the other hand, we did have a hurricane this weekend, preparations for that would stress me out normally, and I had a stomach flu last Thursday and Friday, so its not strange that I feel a bit off right now. Whups. And now I'm going to a con. Maybe I'll add a couple of weeks to my break for recuperation.

Recent happenings. )

Now that I'm sewing *and* watching Star Trek TNG, I have tons of costume ideas. Way to late to make anything for this DragonCon, but there's always next year. And this year, tons of costuming and art panels to attend. Shadowcat (plus new Lockheed puppet) is the only proper cosplay I've packed. At least the new blouse is Tardis blue :-)

This year, in circling things on the schedule grid I'll be focusing on art, costuming, and podcasting, with a dash of gothy stuff and literature. Maybe less BritTrack, b/c its not like I haven't heard these stories before. And my Moffat-rage may derail otherwise fun panels for other folks. We're at the Westin, where there are Steampunks and Browncoats, so I'll probably hang out there for a bit. While it looks like the B5 guests cancelled at the last minute, Sylvester McCoy was added at the last minute, so OMG YAY! Technically my first doctor, if only for ten minutes ;-)

Maybe DragonCon will be the jolt of caffeine-substitute that I need? Get me focused, or at least give me some energy with which to think.

Oh, and there's a Puppet Jam Sunday nite. I have nothing prepared, but I do have two puppets. Yaaaay!

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
Am feeling better by little bits every day, I think, on a daily-average basis. Still having weird mood swings and echoes of the problems I had in the winter of 07-08, but the later are muted b/c this time I know how to sleep (this is a weird thing to see myself typing, but its true).

I'll feel better about my place in society when I stop making such angsty Facebook statuses. Summer heat turned me into a 15 year old. Wth.

Went out on Saturday for a puppet making workshop, which was pretty fun. But their space is not air conditioned so I will not return until the fall. The heat had me so spaced out that I burnt my thumb on hot glue, which I've been really good at not-doing for years. I can has proper Lockheed puppet for DragonCon, tho I haven't tried on my Shadowcat spandex to see if it still fits yet.

That night I played an unfortunate game of train-tag (grrrr LES grrrr) until I got to a very fun b'day party and geeked out. And while the company all day was pretty awesomesauce, that's just about my quota for train-riding in a summer week. Srsly, the thing that wears me out about going to work and social gatherings isn't the events themselves, but the commute. I would definitely work from home if it was possible. Friends at the party told me about a pub-quiz thing happening near my workplace on Wednesday nites, may do that this week if I don't space out and forget.

Srsly, the evening-rush-hour commutes are the worst. Cold makes people ... cold, but heat makes people NUTZ. Both make people sick. And going straight home after work unfortunately means dealing with more rush hour. At least I get plenty of a/c and Netflix to soothe me afterwards.

Am a little annoyed at myself for scheduling an improv class on each day next weekend. But I do have the next Monday off, and each class is only three hours. If I feel heat-cranky I can just go home.

This weekend I mostly finished the vest. The vest itself is finished, but I opted for the frog closure instead of buttons and don't like the one I have, so I'll stop by Pear River ... sometime. Shopping after work in the heat followed by rush hour also = yuck. The vest is more of an autumn weight, there's no rush. I didn't start the red dress which is also more autumn-y, being red and long sleeved, but maybe some nite this week. I think the pattern is simpler, but the fabric pieces are all bigger.

I really really really want to start on that vintage Vogue reprint pattern I have. Not sure if I'm ready for it. Would actually like to copy something I've seen in a lot of con photos, and make one version of this dress out of geek bedsheets (which I unfortunately do not have, whups).

Emo Notions )

Maybe next year I should plan in advance to take July and August off. Put any independent ongoing projects (writing, jewelry, etc) on the back burner and become a (nomadic or stationary) hermit for two months to recharge and/or sleep. Sans guilt. Is it a thing programmed into me due to the American school system? Summer is NOT for being productive. It is for catching up on tv shows and eating ice cream.

Jewelry wise, I have an idea for a Mythpunk Army series of ... things. But I'm not sure if this term has been seriously claimed by others, and I don't want to make a whole Army of like-minded people on the internet annoyed at me. B/c in all honesty, it would be for me to make monies for *me*, not for Army fundraising, where I most often see the phrase invoked. Thoughts/feedback?

<3 Chrysilla

Today's Health Rating:

7-Old normal, YAY!

July 2017

16 171819202122


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