chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
Today it's the perfect gloomy trenchcoat+boots kind of weather. So that's lifting my spirits a bit.

Mixed weekend, tho. Read more... )

After paying bills I ordered some supplements for next month's budget, including "NAC" which is the latest magical EBV cure I've heard of. Its a precursor to the body's fave antioxidant called glutathione (GSH) (which just gets digested if taken itself), but while helping the liver and eliminating free radicals = good, I'm not sure how that helps chronic EBV when there's no die-off stage like with a bacterial infection, and thus not much need for detox. Tho there are also claims that it can inhibit/relieve inflammation responses, which *might* be why it sometimes helps with mental illness. But might as well try it, right? Who knows when I'll ever get to try LDN. I'm just losing faith that anything otc can cure my brainfog.


Guess I'm sticking with Amazon Prime, even if I lose the student discount for not being enrolled for a couple semesters. It seems to be paying for itself, tho the researching of individual supplements and products can be a bit overwhelming sometimes.


Not sure about scheduling game this month. Since my fatigue has 'leveled up' (and not the rest of me), I'm not sure I could get thru a weekend with running my own game, and still have energy for work the following week. Which would mean two months in a row off from game, tho. My energy levels are just too unpredictable :-(

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
My psych apparently didn't get my message asking about LDN two friking weeks ago, so he hadn't done any research or thinking about it, so he said no to letting me try it on his Rx yesterday :(. He only knows it for its original uses and strength. Suxxor. He wanted to put me on more Wellbutrin, I was like nope. On the upside, he confirmed the lysine-effect on this type of virus, so at least an actual doctor weighed in on this part of the plan.

On my way into work I stopped by Lilac's on Bleeker to drown my sorrows in fancy (dairylicious but still gf) chocolate, after spending weeks resisting the cheap Easter candy I <3. Because who gives a f#$% about my inflammation problems anyway :-P

I see the endocrinologist who treats my friend with LDN on 4/3 (earlier than I realized) so hopefully he won't think I'm crazy. Maybe I'll tell him about the 'knitting endo' to garner sympathy, tho that didn't work on my psych.

But overall very mopey and defeated right now. Just ... F#$% you doctors :-/


Warning: fabric binge )


Then there's the question of *if* I got to try LDN, would it bring my size/weight down? Would I then have to take in everything I've sewn in the last few months? Another good reason to put it off a couple months. On the outside chance I get to try experimental medicine drug.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
First day of classes at work, so every time I go to type or read something a patron turns up. Very bizy. Although not very crowded, b/c a large part of the student population is probably still snowed out of NYC as of this weekend. But everyone who's here is definitely making it sound like a full house, b/c rampant coughing.

Tbh, the blizzard didn't alter the path of my life while it was happening. Housebound weekend, already in progress. )

This will probably be the last weekend I can get away with not doing any homework (spaced out and forgot, whups). Starting in February I'll have one assignment due every week, so best to work on those during the weekend. Found out from the prof I had last semester that he did put down a final grade for my transcript (A, woot) but unfortunately its not showing up in the whole system. And he didn't give grades/comments for the individual projects b/c he was going to do that later. Well... its later? And maybe this semester I won't wait until the last minute to do most of my assignments :-/ It just feels very overwhelming, even after last semester wasn't so bad.

Arisia gave me new drive to work on my podcast again, so... maybe this time it'll last? Writing is free, luckily, unlike sewing. Will try to finish up the last of the cut-out sewing projects next weekend (when not homeworking :-P), and then leave the fabric stash alone for a few months. Then I will make myself go out with ppl a bit more, and otherwise work on creative writing. It would be nice to finally get this project off the ground now, so if it fails miserably I can doubledown on being a growup, getting my degree and trying for a better paid but still boring library job.

And b/c everyone else in the Domain is going to Dreamation or something, the local NYC larp got moved to the fourth weekend when I'll already be in Boston for MES. *shrugs* Maybe I can get this geeky project off the ground during my two month vacation from the local game?

It continues to annoy me that I have plenty of time in which to work on both school and creative projects, but CFS means I'm too tired. If I remember to work on things I'm too spaced out to concentrate. But I'm seeing a sleep-doc next month, along with some other docs, so maybe something will work? The adrenal-testers cashed the check, so maybe someday I'll get those test results too. My thyroid is on the low side but still in normal ranges (for other ppl), Ima ask my PCP if he can do *something* to treat that anyway if other docs can't help so much.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (will thelemic)
Have had the soul-flu for most of the month. And my stomach's been extra weird in new ways. Winter usually wakes me up a bit, b/c cold doesn't break my brain the way summer humidity does, but I was already burnt out so there isn't much to bounce back on. I've decided to not feel bad or guilty at all for spending most weekends home alone sewing and stash busting, but at least I've had a few outings. Dinner out with friends, and some other friends stopped by my house for BPAL and geeking out, yay. I've been remembering to *read* my dayplanner as much as I write in it, so that's awesome.

MES weekend was fun earlier this month, and my new Accord costume bits worked out OK, but I think in general the Friday and Saturday nite games will work out better for my energy levels, and picking up out of town guests, etc. And it means one less dinner to buy between the Saturday games. But I was less crashed out than usual on Sunday, yay. In Accord we wrapped up some wolfie plot, so my lil goth wolfie PC can chill out for a few months in downtimes, and playing thru various IRC games. Barely had anything to do at the downtimes meetup this month, wuz kinda awesome. And I still didn't feel awake enough to be truly effective in Requiem, so will see how next month's combo goes.

I've been toying with the idea of going to the MES National convention, but while there is actually Cris-safe food in the area around the hotel, Roanoke is just too expensive to get to via plane. I just won't have enough in my 'other cons' savings account to cover it all. Dexcon is still failing on food though (is the same weekend, around July 4th) so I'm thinking that this year I might just not do any more cons aside from DCon, and build up a bigger $$ pillow in that account for now. On the other hand, I might stop going to DCon every year, will see. Much room to edit and try stuff out.


As for the continuing Sewing Sagas, Faaaaabric )

Went over financial stuff for the month last night, will pay my bills tonight b/c I'll be away this weekend. While I suck less than the last few months I'm still not very good at not overspending. So in March Ima put off my BPAL order until the end in case I didn't spend all my $$ on linen. Or I might just pointedly forget that I have a shopping list for Lupers, since I have so much perfume already, and put that $$ back into savings. My Autumn BPALS, and one of two Yules, are already quite nice now that they're here. I continue to suck at refilling my emergency fund but at least now its automated.

Changed up the spending-tracker portion of my spreadsheet a little bit, splitting the 'other' column into "stuff" and "experiences". Am hoping to have less of the first and more of the second by the end of the year. And I can't afford the second if I blow all my $$ on the first, durh.


Although, I won't have that much time for sewing if I do end up going to grad school this summer. Back to the MLS? )


I've been fighting off some kind of nose/throat ick for a couple of weeks, not sure if it's an illness or just the heating system at work being mean to my sinuses. Its barely there at home, where I have a humidifier chugging away. Tho last weekend I just had zero energy. Several sewing projects already cut out, and just couldn't work on anything. All I could do was crash out on the couch and watch tv, with a few breaks for vital chores. Dumb soul flu :-P Tho I think I made it worse by downloading another Birthday Massacre album that was missing from my collection. Ooops.


Looking forward to going to the Boston MES games this weekend, to see friends, "to Marguerite" in Requiem, and to deal with varying levels of exquisite angst and awkward in Accord, lol. Poor lil goth wolfie. On the other hand, watching the weather reports very closely in case things are going to get cancelled, either the trains or the games. But it looks good so far :-) And this will probably be my last chance to dress up as Nav in live-action rp for a few months.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)

Since I last posted, I was well enough to do all the MES games I'm in the following weekend, and then Wednesday the following week I got smacked by another sinus infection. That's the fourth in four months. And I was sick until Tuesday the following week, and HR still hasn't processed my time off.  My houseguest still came in, and I wasn't about to turn her out at the last minute, and she was very nice about the whole thing. I didn't sleep well all weekend, but that was definitely the fault of my jerky loud neighbors and not my wonderful houseguest. So I'm OK to have more of those in the future, I just hope I won't be sick next time. *sigh*

In other words, another two weekends of not finishing all-the-chores before the work week returned. Bad grownup.

By the time I saw my allergist I was getting better, so she wouldn't give me antibiotics (tho I suspect this is taking up permanent, recursive residence in my insides), but if it comes back I can ask her immediately to dose me. She did give me a new regular allergy rx to help with this new repeating problem, and so far it seems to be helping.

Ended up selling my NYCC pass for Saturday to a friend, so at least that's some $$ I can spend on Arisia instead.  I'm not really that into NYCC but was looking forward  to cosplaying with friends and seeing lots of geekiness, sampling BPALs, etc.  But I didn't want to force myself to go while sick, and ironically DCon is a better deal for the sick person. More sit-down entertainment (panels, screenings, music), sleeping quarters right upstairs of con, and a drugstore on the premises. Oh well, I guess *next* year will be the year I try really hard to like NYCC. I'd finished my B5 cosplay and everything :-( 

Hopefully I'm not sick for Arisia (I can deal with being sick afterwards), and I've finally got all my arrangements made for that except roommates. But b/c I stalled out for too long, I missed the main-hotel room block. Oh well. I can still eat in the main hotel, the overflow hotel has zero gf nomming options.

And since then... not much going on. Got sick again, recuperated again, felt very cranky and stuck about my life. Cuz I don't do a whole lot more with it when I'm *not* too sick to go to work.  But last week, once I was able to return to work on Wednesday, I went to MES downtimes and ended up doing lots of plot-fixing until 11pm (whups).  And then I declared Nerd NYC's boardgame nite to be a Social for MES ppl, and while only one other Cammie showed up it was still fun.

Still on the Strattera, and now I'm at the 'full' pediatric dose of 60mg per day. I'm not really noticing any improvements but also not getting worse. Still not sure if the sleep probs are medical or seasonal (four months of allergies not helping :-P). So I'm willing to give it another few weeks before I declare it a fail. I really don't want to try the stronger meds. Need to work harder on catching up on teh sleeps to make sure its not a side effect.

Part of why I forced myself to be social last week was a) missing my geek-out dose from con, and b) I'd be in for the following weekend. I'm still not really catching up on making Things for my challenge, but this weekend I made some progress through my glut of sewing projects. All for the next NYC MES weekend of games, Halloween weekend. I'll make a separate post of that. It feels like I didn't do much now, but that's probably b/c my brain crashed after the double sewing marathon. I ordered more fabric b/c I'm a sucker for sales, but it was stuff I'd already swatched for more insurance-clothes against working in an unheated office all winter. A nice red flannel and a nice blue flannel. And new machine needles cuz I keep breaking them. Oops.

Nothing really planned for the coming week, at least not out of the house. I'd like to continue working on sewing projects, might cut out a bunch all at once and then gradually sew thru them so I don't have to worry about not having the craft table for another week (laundry + moar houseguests). I also still need to work on the polymer clay bits for my Lost costume, as I have either bought or ordered (or already have) all the other pieces. Some of them are kinda big, or might need big armatures/guides for baking, so I'll probably just suck it up and put them in the big oven. Doing that once in a while won't kill me.

For the weekend, there's nothing on the calendar except an Accord game on IRC, maybe, but I'm already at xp cap for the month. Might go out? Or maybe I'll finally get back to the Magnet on Wednesday or Thursday if I'm not relapsing. Or I could just work on more sewing projects cuz THE HEAT WILL NEVER EVER WORK IN MY OFFICE AGAIN. So I need more jackets and sweaters :-P

In therapy today I rehashed how I forget to call ppl to just go out to things I want to attend. But checking the internets today, Court of Lazarus was last night, and Secret Speakeasy is skipping the next 4th Sunday to have a post-Halloween party, and nope too much for me that weekend already. The 25th is Wits End, and now I have several pretty things to wear to it, so Ima see who wants to go. And probably invite some ppl directly b/c ppl rarely answer a FB wall post.

 

Apparently Thursday is supposed to be some big astrological whosawhatzit. Yay? I haven't done a tarot forecast in weeks, until last night, here's what I have to look forward to:

Tarot! Pics! )

 

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
Starting the Strattera at 18mg today,for ten days before I increase the dose. After about 30 minutes I was already feeling a bit buzzed, warm and tingly. By the first hour I felt very energetic and way less foggy, but not really *focused*. It think I'm getting used to it now, I'm a bit queasy but that's a normal pre-lunch thing for me anyway.

If I were at home, I think I'd at least have the energy to do Saturday's todo list, but I'll have to see this afternoon if I can actually "get'er done" on this. Also not sure what happens when I run out of spoons on this, will I miss the signal and crash out? Feel extra gross the next day? Do I magically have more spoons to begin with?

So far it feels more like I have standard ADHD instead of my weird chronic fatigue version. But friends and my psychiatrist explained the whole "speed up to slow down" idea of ADHD meds (or tried to, I still don't really get it), so will have to see what happens when I increase the dosage. Definitely feels like a stimulant, but it's actually an uptake-blocker, so I guess its giving me more of my natural stimulants to work with?

And since my pinkie toe is still numb, and my sinuses are still "Ugh, ragweed!!" there's a lot of other stuff going on in my body right now :-P At least my back feels a bit better.



Ordered more fabric for future projects last nite b/c it was on sale again. I have a problem. )

Y'know, summer is historically a terrible time for my budget, and not just because DCon (and even less so, now that I know how to budget and save ahead for that trip). This year I noticed a lot of "I feel cruddy, so Ima make a bad (or imperfect) purchase decision." I'm thinking of doing a Buy Nothing Summer next year to see if I can. I can spend $$ on going out and doing stuff, and groceries/rx, but not on things that can become pointless physical clutter.

That could backfire, as I make a longer and longer shopping list over teh summer and then go crazy in September. Or I spend a ton around my b'day to stock up on some stuff before the dry spell. And then there's "I'd like to take this jewelry commission, but I'm all out of crimp beads." I've got nine months to figure it out.

On that note, it would also be nice to have a regular extra chores/cleaning day so I don't have to do all of it all at once some ill-fated weekend and f#$% up my back and leg muscles. :-P


Weekend's plans: regular chores, clean the bathroom, *maybe* swiffer and mop the other floors too. Take Discardia claims to the post office, and put the rest downstairs. Then I have a dress and a backpack to make (I wonder if the one-side shoulderbag is contributing to the nerve pinch making my toe numb?). My parents are coming in on Sunday for Dad's b'day, and then a friend is stopping by later to get more Discardia stuff. I should do laundry, b/c I'll be busy for the next three weekends. Or I could take a chance and push it off for a weeknight? The laundry rack and sewing table don't fit together in the space.

Today I have to stop by the bank with a lot of coin rolls. Last night I put those together out of purchase guilt, but as it turns out they almost cover last night's fabric purchase, so yay for that. Less credit card panic.

Next week I think there's an IAF meetup, yay. Other than that, probably not going out much, b/c I'd like this toe situation fixed before I go to Boston on Friday for the weekend of gaming and geekery.
chrysilla: (galadriel lembas mix)
Well, not entirely. I did spend most of last week going straight home after work and resting some more. Got a few extra-long nights of sleep, too. Tho on Thursday I was home sick b/c of a ridiculously painful stomach upset + sleep dep late Wednesday nite.

And Friday night I actually managed to go out with an old friend for dinner and then Nerd NYC's boardgame night, which I'd forgotten about until he started steering me towards the cafe. Late in the work day, my brain basically sat up and said "If we don't go out tonight in some fashion, I will make you MISERABLE to be home alone." So... went out. I have really forgotten how to socialite, but my friend saw my whiny tweet and was available for noms.Was very fun! Got to catch up with my buddy, have good noms including a milkshake b/c I was tired of not having milkshakes (had pills, so no negative consequences, yay), and then I learned to play three new card based games with a brain that is usually made up of gf mush. Yay!

The weekend was fail again, b/c of me being stupid about what I ate (considering new stomach problems), and over-working myself on chores, so I didn't have the spoons to go to my friend's holiday party on Sunday nite. So the weekend started really good, and then ended with me feeling like a jerk and a dummy. Oh well.


There was a recurring theme of dietary and stomach stuff all week. Cut for boring continued whining about tummy issues. )

My GI didn't call back about the celiac test, so I don't know if that means it was negative, or the results haven't come back yet, or if her office is just super disorganized. I really hope I don't have to go thru the testing process again, b/c NO never again. Ima write up a list of questions for my appointment Tuesday afternoon so I don't forget or get lost in a brain fog. Tho I guess the new (?) symptoms might require a new (different) procedure, hopefully not as hardcore as the other one. Eeek.

I also really need to see a dentist soon. Will try to remember to look it up while on break, but probably won't be able to line up an appointment that quickly. Will see.


Tomorrow's appointment is in Union Square at 3:30, so Ima do the last of my holiday shopping around there, too. And maybe, finally, pick me up some snow boots. With luck I won't need them tomorrow :-P Then Ima meet up with a friend after she gets off work, for Burgers & BPAL (well, technically BPTP, but close enough).

And my giant BPAL order finally shipped today, So Bpal stuff )

Was going to work a grocery shopping list out with the 'rents, so they could pick stuff up and I could cook Cris-friendly noms in their kitchen while I'm there for the holiday, but ... most of my fun baking recipes are almond based. So I need to email them saying that won't work out. They're pretty good at getting me shelf-ready noms tho, and I can still has chocolate (and fruits, & veggies), I certainly won't starve. Now I'm working on a list of LOD recipes I want to try out over winter break, but I hope I don't spend my whole vacation cooking. Or sick, for that matter. Sleeping all vacation would be acceptable, if not preferable.

Ugh, everyone in the library is coughing and its getting on my nerves. And I don't want to get sick right before my vacation. Ugh I hates it. Haaaaate it. And everybody is crazy studying for finals tonight, so I don't see how they're allowing the coughers to live.


Otherwise, no plans for the week. I supposed if I have another sudden ARGHNEED to go out I can actually call on ppl directly to see what's going on, and there's always improv theaters in a pinch. But my energy levels have been really random for the last few weeks, and my tummy is always unpredictable. So Ima just chill out, and hope these spoiled students don't all get me sick before I leave on Friday. I'm also out of stick days, so hopefully my tummy doesn't make me sick either. Only respiratory stuff is covered by my overly complicated FMLA claim.

I'm a bit sniffly today, but furiously fighting the could-be illness. Grrr. And its not like I haven't already been sniffly for weeks. Aside from that the outside-weathery-cold doesn't seem to be messing me up so far. Its still in refreshing-mode for me.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
Last week's plans kinda backfired. My body, especially the digestive system, is still pretty upset about the medical procedure I have a couple weeks ago. On top of that, extra lethargy and brainfog, which I can't tell is part of the digestive protest or the changing weather. *Or* b'c I tried ginko supplements again last week. The last time I tried them, I was also very extra groggy, but there were other medical things going on too (part of No-vember :-P). Maybe I'll just leave that bottle on the shelf for a few *months* this time and try again later. Its not like it was helping.

And that pretty much sums up last week. Wednesday I forced myself to go see the first two shows at Magnet Megawatt, and the shows were good, and a few ppl remembered who I was which was nice. But while going out with friends for a night of gossip and brain-ing can sometimes wake me from the brain/body fogs, sitting in a dark theater watching a show isn't really as stimulating. Tho they were still very good shows, so I look forward to seeing more improv when I stop having all the brain worms.

Thursday night, b/c it was kinda warm that day, I decided to have a frozen fruit smoothie to help get thru all the stuff in my freezer. The next day my stomach was extra extra cranky. Either the bananas were not-good before I froze them, or blue and blackberries have more oxalates in them than I realized. They're *kinda* high on the scale, but the scale itself is kinda wobbly, and concentrations of a fruit's makeup can change a bit after freezing. I have a friend who may be willing to take the blueberries off my hands, there's a f'ing ton of them b/c I splurged at CC in the early autumn. I'd rather give them to someone who can eat them than toss them out.


The rest of the week I kinda gave up on socializing b/c I just felt so blegh. Didn't manage any writing either. Spent the whole weekend inside, with possible going-out plans in case I suddenly felt better, but nope. I did manage to do the big CC grocery trip, including a frozen duck Ima play with over winter break. And stayed on budget, yay for me.

All teh fooding )

Back on the downside tho, the mouse-problem has returned to the library. Tho it always looks like the same mouse. After the first sighting on ... Thursday (? Ugh, so brain fogged)... some ITS guys showed up to fix the holes they'd made in one of the electrical closets the week before. And those closets are supposed to be totally sealed of holes for firecode reasons, so that seemed a likely reason for the sudden mouse. If its not the same one, there's more holes (but we don't have the keys to those closets, one of the maintenance departments has reign over that), if it is the same one then it must not have gotten back home before they sealed everything up. Either way, I called a second time for moar traps, so hopefully they'll come over soon. Ugh. Do not like, not at work pls :-(

Last week I also picked the Sedona book back up, b/c I've slacked off on that emotional mindfullness stuff. So will see if that helps, with phobias and in general.


This week is pretty clear except for a friend's holiday Yule party next Sunday, and then next week I have my GI follow up and my allergy shot. So this week I may just leave my schedule open for more resting and relaxing until Sunday. And I've already decided not to feel guilty for doing that.

Might as well just accept that my body is still made of fail (and according to a friend who has the same procedure, this can last for weeks afterward :-P) and cross my fingers that I'll feel better for winter break in two weeks (instead of getting my bi-annual sinus infection :-P). And then its two weeks of not having to deal with the world if I don't want to, yay.

Today I came into work to find the package from my friend's shop had come in, yay! Ritual/perfume oils, including a very generous freebie. Already wearing the Lavender healing oil, because. So may get to some pagan-ing while home recuperating. Also realized today that I've been using 'honey jars' like mojo hands. Whups. Not really sure whether or not its working anyway, tho. Tho following that logic, I could try using my spiffy new ritual oils to *feed* them like mojo hands. *ponders*

<3 Chrysilla

NO-vember.

Dec. 2nd, 2013 08:25 pm
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
November was pretty much a wash. Just ... ugh. One random illness after another, and 2 of 3 were medically induced.

Sick After Sick )

So yah, that wasn't fun. Wednesday I was able to go back to work and eat normally, but from there I went straight to NJ for Turkey Day. My immediate family picked up some nice gf options for me, and at the extended-family party on Turkey Day proper my aunt who has Celiac came out so there were more gf options. Another relative mentioned that Askhenazi Jewish ppl and Irish ppl both have high rates of Celiac, and since that's all of my genetic heritage on Dad's side things make a bit of sense. And then came all the family gossip on old age, estates, etc, and now I freaked out enough to want to start investing my extra $$ more aggressively in 2014. Yay?

And then Black Friday happened, and I participated, but I don't thing going to a NJ craft store on Friday afternoon was so heinous. We drove past the malls, very glad we weren't involved in that craziness. And I picked up materials for *making* presents, so my conscience is clear.

And the BPAL binge happened. In which I can't tell if I have a problem... )

On the other hand, comparing hoarding BPAL to hoarding fabric has made me reframe my costuming plans a bit. In that I'm not sure I want to buy fabric and sew it anymore. Or tackle the giant costume plan I had for DCon. But I've also been sick for all of November, after a crazy sewing binge, so Ima give it a few more months. At least I'm sticking to my plan to not buy new fabric until after January. May take out a jacket pattern during Winter Break, or not, will see. I think sewing is something I should only do in the summer, when its too hot outside to think straight anyway.

A couple weeks ago I had the sudden, serious notion to sell all of my jewelry supplies on Etsy and cash-out of the business. Of course, that would be as much energy as making and selling my own jewerly, so probably won't happen any time soon. But the thought popped up. If someday I have the energy for jewelry again, but I still don't actually want to make any, then I may start working on that. Again, I've been sick for weeks, and I tend to make life-cuts when I feel stuck and frustrated like this. Usually its low key, like throwing out clothes that don't fit me, or empty bottles of hair products under the sink. I hesitate before shutting down a business that took years of my life (and a TON of credit card debt :-P) tho.


That reminds me, I finally cleaned up the bathroom this weekend. Tossed a ton of recyclables and took out a shelving thing that wasn't working in the space. It will live on the balcony until I figure out what to do with it. So that's good. Unfortunately, after the normal weekend chores were done that took up the last of my energy. So I had just enough spoons to overspend my spoons. Thus, I don't feel that much better today than I did for most of November. But I do feel a little better. And November is over, lets see if December is healthier.

And my Dad was nice enough to take the rest of my Discardia bin back to NJ with him, where charity groups will pick stuff up from their house when called. So I've got that little 1.5 x 2.5 bit of floor space back again, which is bigger than you'd think in such a tiny apartment. So the Chantry feels a bit neater overall this week. And I smudged with a nice incense blend I made up, cleansing and protecting. Never used sage before and I have definitely been missing out :-)


While I accomplished many home-things over the weekend (I don't think I've ever crossed out all but one thing on my wknd to-do list, OMG, no wonder I'm tired now) I was very frustrated that I didn't *go out* to do anything. But again, sick for weeks. And Saturday my tummy started trying to reestablish its boundaries and... urgh. So it was probably for the best that I stayed in.

This week, assuming I start getting some spoons back, I'd like to do some of that going-out other ppl talk about. I'm bad at organizing things, so I may default to an improv night. I'd really like to finally see Thor 2, so I might do that right after work on Thursday and then go to SFC after. Or maybe something else will come up. Its weird tho, the events page on my FB account is pretty thin for December, which everyone always says is overbooked.

Sadly this month's Browncoats is a holiday party on LI, so between the tired and the gluten I'm not going to make it. But an old pagan buddy is having her Yule party in the West Village, so that will be nice. There will probably be more holiday parties eventually, but sadly I can't do one of my own anymore. Its just too much work and not enough space. But I do get a solid two weeks off for Winter Break, so I hope I'm healthy enough to go to other ppl's parties this year.


Was looking over con plans for 2014, and after the PA trip earlier this month I'm not sure of ALL THE CONS is such a great idea now. On the other hand, I was already a bit sick when I went to PA. I'm already booked and paid for Arisia, so that's a go. And I'm still leaning towards Dexcon in July, even tho I tend to be sick on 7/4 (then again, I'm *home* on 7/4). So if I just add those to the year, that's three times more cons than usual. Otherwise, I think it might be more worth it to just make an effort to be more social and geeky in NYC, where I know all of my gluten-challanged food options, and I already have a train ticket and a place to sleep.

Maybe that would be a good re-framing exercise. "Am I too tired to go to this thing that's out of the house tonite/this weekend? Well, would it be more or less taxing than going to a new convention in another state?"

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
O wow, two weeks with no proper update. Tho I did use Dreamwidth to take notes on my tummy history, b/c I finally saw the new GI last week, yay! After losing her number and forgetting to call since late January. Dumb brainfog.

Not much happened the week before my friend's wedding (weekend after my last update) b/c I was busy prepping and overall being stressed about travel. But it ended up really nice :-) WeddingCon! )

Last week was ... mixed. Was high on wedding goodwill, but because of the skin irritation the rest of the week put kindof a damper on me. And I had to make a trip to Wallmart for Rich Ppl Whole Foods to get gluten free body lotion and shower stuff. But at least the SoHo location keeps that in its own little area away from most of the annoyingness.

Wednesday I took a half day off so I could finally see my GI, and she is very nice. Didn't dismiss my "oxalates" discovery out of hand, and wants to do the standard list of uncomfortable diagnostic tests. She was actually pleased that I already knew a lot of what she was talking about (other doctors have gotten annoyed with me about that in the past). So the first uncomfortable test is next Monday, before Thanksgiving, b/c I just want to get it over with.

As for oxalates, Adventures in Research )

After the GI I had a therapy session scheduled, but I had a big block of time and there was an urgent-care facility between the offices, so I got my skin problem checked out. Probably TMI ) My one concern now is that if this is/was viral, and I was just at a *wedding*, I REALLY hope it wasn't contagious :-/ But at least it was short lived. And it wasn't bedbugs, phew.


Thursday I still felt skin-yuck, but teh Pooka managed to get me out of the house for the evening with another new friend. Leading to a WTF? moment at Bareburger on Laguardia, where there was a string of mixups about whether or not my *salad* was actually gf. And the confusion started *after* I'd eaten some of if. In the end, they comped my certified GF salad b/c of all of the freaking-me-out that happened. Not as bad as the dead-grasshopper-salad incident, but still, wth Bareburger? And then we went to a nice cafe in the East Village, where the server was very kind about all my food issues. Ironically, feeding me gets *more* complicated in a vegan place b/c of my issues with dates, soy, and gluten. But overall a nice evening out :-)


This weekend started out OK, but kindof sputtered out. Forecast: BRAINFOG )

So today I'm still in zombie mode, but with a shiny new necklace at least. And somehow I made it to therapy on time which is not normal. Does not compute. I think the prednisone I was RX'ed is making me feel weird, but I want to finish out the bottle (Wednesday morning) to make sure the skin problem doesn't come back.

Its weird how I feel like I've come off a really rough week of something, and I really haven't. Its not even been a difficult Monday. Meh.


Realized I should start picking up Xmas gifts for teh fam while I'm having a fiscally responsible month with an extra payday. So that should be fun once I waketheFup. Tho it may be mostly gift certificates, b/c low spoons. If that changes right before Xmas I'ma feel like a jerk tho. Just trying to finish that necklace for *me* was a huge chore, I don't even want to think about making shinies for other ppl these days. Tho maybe that's the Rx talking again?

Also considering a BPAL order, but not a gigantic one. Maybe for Turkey Weekend. At first I thought it was stupidly crazy to type up my full collection into a .doc file, but it's actually been pretty useful for the last week. "That sounds nice, but do I have something similar already? Was that a note I didn't like?" Helped me whittle a list down to two items instead of six. Yaaaaay. I will take any excuse to feel clever these days.



Overall I think I've become steadily less stuff-oriented this year. Hail Discardia! )

I did manage to purge some old but pretty jewelry displays to give away (they just don't fit my style anymore), will photograph them for ppl to look at ... eventually. And I still have boxes of books and equipment to ship to friends who called dibs in *March*, so I really need to haul my butt to the post office. Ugh. My mail-scale still isn't working right, so maybe they'll be OK if I send them an invoice for s/h instead of checking with them first :-P


Last week I had new inklings for a puppet/video/youtube project but ... ugh. I really don't want new projects. I wanna finish the old projects. So am keeping this under my hat for now, tho I'll happily take notes in case I ever have that much energy again.

This week's tarot is very OMG BOOM DRAMA CHANGE OMG!See? )

Despite tarot forecast, I kinda just want to take it easy now. Tho that could still be the short-term Rx talking. I have my GI diagnostic next week, for which I'll have to spend the weekend in preparation (ugh), and then Turkey Day after that, and probably not much happening that weekend either. So there's still a part of my brain that's going 'OMG HAVE ALL THE FUN AND CREATIVE STUFF OR ELSE' but really... I just want to chill. I won't *know* anything new about my tummy until December anyway, so not interested in doing more dietary research.

I was hoping November would be a lot more productive in terms of projects and socializing after WeddingCon, but I couldn't help being sick, and now I want to get this medical stuff over with, so its being productive in its own way. I'm trying a controlled, temporary measure of "F#$% it, I give up" for a couple weeks until then. If I socialize or write stuff, awesome, if not then whatevs.


Unfortunately, I'm also starting to rethink my '2014 MOAR CONS' plan, Con = tired )

Now that I think of it, taking a couple of weeks off from actively trying to restart my life may be the change I actually need. Then I can start fixing things again if I feel better after that. But then if it takes me *this* long to recover from a trip to PA, maybe more cons isn't such a great idea afterall.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (will thelemic)
Having another very brain-foggy Monday. Not sure if this is due to a post-Halloween sugar crash, a weekend cleaning binge, or the DST time traveling yesterday. Or if its just a normal Monday. *shrugs*

Today I impulse-bought a pendant from a friend's jewelry shop called "Saturn Return". I had not realized that amethyst and fluorite were Saturnine stones. (And luckily, there was room in the budget for it :-P) This helped motivate me to look more into Saturn-focused sorcery, which I've been drifting into b/c of the greatest caveat of magic: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Illness and fatigue are also very Saturnine themes. So I'm looking into the more proactive aspects of that planetary/deity aspect to see if there's something I'm missing. And one of the proactive bits: Following a restrictive diet. The archetype has clearly embraced me, so maybe I should make sure I'm not fighting it and making myself more tired. And obviously it started in the later half of my Saturn Return, although it didn't end when the transit did.

Saturn, rings & things )

Yeah... I think I could get behind a more Saturnine disposition. I'd actually been thinking about it before, but not in terms of this archetype which makes it so much clearer. Even before the gamer-mob, I tended towards the path of least resistance b/c it seemed easier. And continued, b/c it meant spending less energy once I turned spoonie. Now I know the value of planning in advance towards spoon-saving later on. "I don't actually need to readdress this. It was already in the contract. Here it is to read again."

Now, I wonder at how ppl will react to my laying down the law early to avoid drama later on. I'm not really worried about it, b/c the people who know me know what I've been through, and I think the people whom I want to work with in the future would respect me and mah shiny new boundaries. But I'm still curious about what happens next. The world outside is often unkind to lady lawgivers.

Overall, I've seen that socializing does increase my energy (esp now that my makeup isn't secretly poisoning me). Not sure if *responsibility* for projects and other ppl will have the same effect tho. TruGeek was kindof a let down in that department, but then that wasn't a very structured project. Even my co-show-runner almost flaked two out of three events, but our DJ was always reliable, so give it 50/50? And my podcasting project won't require me to lug heavy things and lure an unreliable group of costumed people to a yuppie nightclub once a month. This is much more low-key.


The Saturn studies coincide today with articles about "omg occult is sho popular again!" Um... it never really stops being popular, but OK. Its making me wonder if I should try again to get into professional tarot reading. Tho I'd be a Saturnine fortune teller. Not "Here's what you want to hear in a floofily mysteirous tone" but "Hello I am your pseudo spiritual life coach *SMACK*". Everyone likes edgy now, right? Meh.


In other news, last week was pretty mixed. Samhain and Cleaning Frenzy )

Unfortunately, I did not remember that next weekend I won't *be* home, so I'll have to get ahead of my weekly chores this week after work. Including setting up my food situation for the weekend trip itself. At least the house is clean?

I haven't seen many interesting social offerings on my calendar yet, so I should be fine taking the week to myself, and then socializing like crazy at my friend's wedding this Sunday. I hope. They've been wonderful about having gluten free options, so hopefully that all works out for me. And I finally remembered to cancel the extra hotel reservation tonite, go me.

Also, during the weekend's cleaning/filing frenzy I FINALLY found the GI referral. Will call tomorrow and set up an appointment.

During the weekend I kept eating the chocolates I'd picked up, which were actually not dairy free. And I kept forgetting to take a lactase pill after, but I did eventually. Today I didn't take one at all, and when I remembered I had a bit of a tummy twinge, but otherwise not explosions. So either my lactose intolerance is less intolerant, or there wasn't much dairy in those candies to begin with. Either way, more questions about my insides, I hope this new doc is ready for the onslaught.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (witch)
Last week was mostly pretty nice, with a few hiccups along the way. Mostly transit-caused.

Tuesday I got both my BPAL and BPTP orders, yay! Investigated all my new things over the course of the week so I didn't overload my sinuses. BPAL blathering! )

I stayed in Tuesday and Wednesday, partially b/c BPAL, and part b/c I had plans Thursday and Friday. I also baked gf/df cookies on Wednesday which was fun. I tried it with white sugar instead of honey, then a couple tbsp of honey anyway b/c the batter wasn't holding together, and they came out nice and crumbly. And slightly burnt, but in a carmalized way. On Sunday I tried the recipe again with honey and I didn't like them as much. Very simple batter tho, and doesn't make a ton of cookies so I don't have as many to nom. Tho b/c the batter-base is almond butter I *can't* eat all of them at once or I'll asplode from protein overload. On the other hand they don't give me a stomach ache like almond-flour cookies. Almonds are complicated.

The stand mixer still works, but btw that, the crock pot, and my other kitchen devices I may have to reorganize the counter-island again. Meh. Darn tiny kitchen.

Thursday was a very fun IAF meetup. Small, but included two new people from Columbia (the country, not the college) who are building their own SF writing community in their home city. And currently traveling the world to network with people and learn new arts and sciences. Sho much fun! And of course I stayed out too late, forgetting that all of the trains in central Queens were broken. (Monday night too, so I stayed in on Tuesday in part due to sleep dep.) But had good train-luck until I got to Jackson Heights station, where it was suddenly August again :-P

Got home and to bed 90 mins late, but figured I'd be OK to gently push myself through Friday b/c I'd had so much fun. Except around 5:30 I'm woken up by what might be a mousetrap going off, and instead of getting up to go check on things I lay in bed freaking out for another 90 mins. When my alarm went off at 7am it was light enough outside for me to be less freaked, and it turned out something innocuous had fallen over to make that noise. *headdesk* So Friday was a wash. I got thru the work day, did not stick around for the boardgame night I'd been looking forward to, and went right home.

Did some ritualistic things, since it was the so called "Blood Moon", and we had some Things to discuss. That seems to have been a good move. On the way home I picked up some treats for seven days of successful fun-list activities, but ppl were already getting stupid/crazy for the full moon. Great. Best to hide at home.

Saturday was spent with chores and some sewing work, Sunday my Pooka friend stopped by to hang out for a while, and I showed him what its like to use a rotary cutter on knit fabric. And we played with perfumes & tarot cards, and gossiped, and I baked cookies again. Yay for nice afternoon. I then got distracted from *finishing* sewing projects and chores by perfume. Oops. At least I finished the laundry.

Sewing! )

This week the trains don't seem to be broken (so far), but I'm still taking it easy on plans. I have sewing to finish, and both a flu shot and an allergy shot scheduled. There's a steampunk fashion thing happening on Thursday for which I might try to finish Doom Coat, b/c black velveteen goes with everything. A friend wants to go a'gothing this weekend, and its Absolution on Saturday, so will see about that.

Am also nixing that 2-lunches-per-day experiment, b/c it wasn't working out. I ended up with two post-food crashes per day instead of one and a lot more tupperware to wash. It was hard keeping track of my work-flow with two breaks to remember. This week, one lunch one break. If I end up feeling even worse, then I can halve things again next week.

Extended planz )

And in magical mumbo jumbo, gonna be a less than fun week. Tarot & Planets )


Still not getting much writing done, but a friend has an idea for a co-motivational sort of creative group. Maybe that will help?

Based on some of last week's thinky thoughts, wondering if I should start making myself go out every weeknight to see what happens. Well, every night that I'm not recovering from sleep dep or anxiety attacks, or both. In a pinch, there are always several improv-houses willing to take my $$, I'll just skip the bars afterwards. But REALLY want to finish those craft projects this week, so it may be a few more weeks before I have a normal week to try that theory.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (will thelemic)
After last week's analysis of high-school dreams, mainly that my life is now a test that I haven't studied for b/c there's no clear path or reasoning, I think I've managed to collect enough data to get some kind of plan going. I am taking your damn test, cfs. If I pass, can I graduate out of this weird cocoon stage and level up?


Last ended up being pretty mixed. Sticking with my workday sleep schedule all weekend ended up leaving me sleep deprived all week, and that was kindof a drag. On the other hand, now I have reason to let myself sleep all I want on the weekends, and going out late won't make me any worse off than sticking to a schedule. On the other hand, I was in a pretty good mood all week, even in the mornings, so my mood still doesn't seem to be directly influenced by my physical state.


Burgers & BPAL )


At some point in the middle of the week, I found this pop-psych kind of internet article, "10 Easy Things That Will Make You Happier, Backed by Science" which made me think in a few places. Mostly #8, Plan a trip – but don’t take one.

I felt well enough on Tuesday to go out b/c I had the going out to look forward to, same as the previous Tuesday with the book/music show. Even tho Tuesdays are typically rough for me. (Also, yes I am often very happy at 57 degrees F.) On top of that, socializing does give me an energy boost, tho it won't fix everything (still felt sleep dep'ed after Tuesday nite, but overall happier & more functional).


I kept my week pretty open, b/c I had a pneumonia vaccine scheduled for Wednesday nite with my allergy shot. I didn't have any kind of reaction to it, but I did crash a bit afterwards. Although 1) I had only one big lunch that day, 2) I walked thru the west village to get there (my doc's office is actually on my usual long-walk route). So... I was already primed to crash out. Maybe. Thursday I had no clear plans and was still sleepy, so I just went home.


Friday I went to a nice bookshop reading for a friend, loosely tied to NYCC. As my workday came to a close, I still felt pretty strung out from sleep dep, but after what happened on Tuesday I wondered what would happen if I made myself go out and have fun. Worst case, its just sitting in a bookshop, not very strenuous, and it was already on my route to home. And it was a smaller event than I expected, but still nice, and I did not crash when I got home. Yaaaay.


Saturday I played with the crock pot, worked on sewing projects, and watched movies. I'd been looking forward to NYCC after parties all week, especially b/c I wanted to test my 'planning to be social = energy' and just 'socializing = energy' theories. I checked with a friend to see which one ppl were going to, and luckily it was the free gathering. Was only there about 2.5 hours (way short for me), but my friends actually went to NYCC all day, so they weren't up for staying out all night, lol. And it was OK. I felt like I coulda stayed out longer, but I was fine with coming home with energy and not crashing into a walking coma. And Sunday I stayed in and caught up on chores, and all was well.

I am easing my way into having a social life again, I just hope I don't get thumped by another sinus infection.



In other news, crock pot is still fun, tho between sewing needles and hot things my fingers kinda hate me today. Food & Fabric )

This week's tarot forecast (linked here to my Tumblr b/c I'm lazy nao) Is Wheel/Sun/Hermit. So... that's interesting. Random and energy and time on my own but isn't it socializing that gives me energy argh confused. But y'know, more energy is nice.

On the other hand, according to my usual astro-sites, Mars is about to jaunt into my rising sign for two months which makes it make a bit more sense. Wheel = astrology, Sun = Mars (um, lol), Hermit = Virgo. Also, in this deck the Wheel is less Wheel-of-Fortune-y, so its less about the WTF and more about stepping back and seeing the larger cycle of life, or one's own life. So, 2+ years of being out-of-life is prologue? Or at least almost over? Or maybe I'm finally getting enough of a boost to set up what I need to keep myself going when it passes? PlsKThnx.


Going-out plans for this week include the IAF Salon on Thursday, and a Nerd NYC game night on Friday. Weekend is wide open for now. Would like to experiment more with my social energies, but two actively social nights out should be good enough for now. Next weekend should be more active b/c Samhain, w00t.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (clothes)
Yaaaay, new [profile] s00j album :-D And I got an advanced download of it over the weekend, for purchasing it at Pagan Pride Day. With a fancy sticker :-D


Last week was ... mixed. Wins and Fails )

Weekend = more fun, Pagan Pride, Star Wars, and Fairyland )

There was a LOT of internal kvetching about my stalled out life last week, so on one hand I wonder if that's finally motivating me to change it. To start the small steps that will eventually lead to bigger outcomes. And yoga and writing did happen, and sewing over the weekend, and Pagan Pride Day. But I'm also worried that the kvetching itself, the anger and the frustration, will also drain me. So... not sure what to do about that. Once again, I think the fact that I'm awake enough to be angry is a good sign, but anger itself can make me tired.


Tarot for this week looks... dramatic. Tarot! )

However, this weeks astro stuff seems to be about renewal, and setting up new healthy goals and life habits and such. And blah de blah heart mind balance new moon stuff. OK?


Actually, was already working on some new daily habits. This week Ima try again to split my lunch & break in half, so I don't gorge myself at noon and crash out by the end of the work day. Will see if that helps prevent the brain fog.

That came up in therapy today. Its very hard to figure out *why* the brainfog happens, b/c by its very nature, you can't see or figure out anything when you're in it. B/c its FOG. But I'll try to keep an eye out for triggers this week, even though its hard. At least I'm starting to feel the 'yay, fall!' beat again.


Will try to go right to bed tonight so I can go to a music and literature event tomorrow night (and there are even two to choose from) instead of suffering another Tuesday supercrash. But again, I didn't sleep well last night, and I ate a ton of chocolate today, so we'll see.

The rest of my week is open so far, may keep it that way to work on sewing and otherwise save spoons. In a few weeks it'll be NYCC, which I'm not going to, but I may try some of the after parties. Now that I think of it, there may be a Potterfan meetup on Thursday, but I probably won't go if they're just in the park again.


Another thought tonight- I do kinda miss live theater. But I don't think I can keep up with it physically anymore, except as an audience member (and I even keep failing at that lately). That's why I find podcasting attractive as an artform. I can just do it at my own pace, and broadcast when I'm ready.

And that's been part of the internal kvetching. I don't *think* I can accomplish the projects I want to work on, I *KNOW* I can finish them, and they'll turn out amazing b/c that's what I do. Except that my body won't let me work on them, or even remember that I have plans. Meh. Will figure it out eventually, I hopes.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
I've been recovering surprisingly well from DCon this week. Despite con itself, starting the new earlier work schedule, and getting my pest-control-anxiety triggered. Well, the third might be why I'm groggier today than I had been, so meh.

Ordered some online fripperies since I've been home. Fripperies, next DCon, groceries. )


I am seeing news in the lives of some old-demons that is making me kinda cranky. I am hoping to use this crankiness to propel me into greater awesome, rather than make passive aggressive statements on FB (well, aside from this one). At least until I crashed today, darnit.

As I think I mentioned before, it was also annoying not to have any finished projects to tell ppl about at DCon. Now some part of my brain is all "BUT WE ONLY HAVE A YEAR TO FINISH THESE AWESOME IDEAS!!!" *sigh*

Overall, I think I'm going to take my tarot-forecast's suggestions and not push myself to work on these ideas until October. Just enjoy some slow, languid sewing, maybe put more jewelry blog posts up. Chill out and enjoy the autumn power-up without burning myself out :-P. And I have been feeling it, today has just been weird. B/c BUGS. ARGH.



And as for other cons, I'm now 99% sure I'm going to Arisia in 2014, and that will be my con for winter. I figured getting one in quarterly would spread out spoons and monies pretty well. Spring is undecided, summer is obv DCon, autumn will probably be PhilCon *next* year, since this November I have a "Wedding Con" ;-)

This weekend I'll buy an Arisia membership, then see if my trusted associate and I can score a room when the blocks open on 9/10. Tho I'll need to ask ppl if we need to get there on Thursday, or if Friday doesn't really start until sundown. Then maybe I can shave a day off room costs. Tho it would also be nice to have a full night of sleep between travel & con.

Train tickets could be anywhere from $100 to $300 round trip, and I don't really see a difference in trip quality as explained on Amtrak's website (length, time of day, wifi, etc), so I'd rather book all-the-things sooner than later to get cheaper train tix. Tho I guess I could also just book the train first, I don't think this is the sort of con that sells out all its rooms in 15 mins?


And this weekend some friends are planning to stop by the chantry to pick up and drop off various items of import, and hopefully hang out for a bit. This seems like an excellent excuse to bake brownies and do some extra cleaning. And re-do the balcony curtains, but this time with velcro instead of epoxy :-P All the more reason to hit Costco tonite so I can stay in all day Saturday. And a fantastic excuse to put off the laundry until after they visit :-)

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
Cannot concentrate on cataloging, but I've also finished going thru the 'further search' piles (and managed to catalog about 75% of them, w00t for towers of books *not* falling on me), and TheOldReader is still down, so hello blog.


Realized today how odd it is that I'm looking to work on an audio-drama podcast project, when very few people ever seem to listen to me. But then again, I think I'd be happy enough just completing it for those few people. Yay?


Still fretting and mulling over whether or not I'll be functional when it stops being hot outside. It would be ironic if the warm temps are waking up my system, but also extra-fogging my brain. Or the starch-trick may not work anymore by September. Just don't know what to think. Fretting probably does not help, tho. But like I said, I *do* have more energy, just way less focus, and not enough energy to get over the humidity and go out.


I've been in super obsessive costume/crafting frenzy for days, which now I think is a combo of PMS and a full moon. I've had worse weeks. And at least that brand of brain-weird seems to be subsiding into angsty daydreams. Not sure which I like less. But the getting-crafts-done proves that I do have some energy and focus. Would there be more to work with if it wasn't summer? Or less?


Also thinking through the acupuncture situation. It was really nice having a health-care type person in my life who remembered who I was and what my issues were on sight. Even my nice newish doctor can't do that. But I'm still doing better this month than I expected, physically and emotionally, despite triggers of physical and emo horribleness.


Last night I ordered fabric for the wedding-costume-dress, b/c they were running low on the swatch that I liked best, despite being over budget for the month. It was still only $4 per yard, but I'm deducting that much from next month's 'extras' budget total (tho it counts as spending for this month). And making a list of a few other things I 'need' to pick up in August so I don't overdo it again :-P A couple of lipsticks from the samples I liked (so far, still only 2), B&BW is having a sale so I can pick up my face wash for cheap, I need to get my jackets and coats drycleaned before its cold again, and so far that's it on specifics. Would like to keep it a short, low list in case of emergencies. And b/c DCon will still offset things, even with my savings scheme.

Crafty & sewing stuffs )

And tonight is my allergy shot, so lessee if I esplode. Yaaaay. I remembered to bring an apple to eat at her office, maybe this time I'll remember to take it with me *to* the appointment.


Also had a weird dream last night. I was in a version of my old parents-home bedroom, which was also in my old high school, and I was going through my dresser and other bins of clothing which I hadn't seen in years. New members of my old drama club were poking around with me, and I said I'd happily donate what I didn't want anymore to them for costumes, and that was likely to be a lot of stuff. Odd that my friend Tim R. was also now the 'advisor' in charge of the Masques (he did not go to my h.s.). There was also a lot of wall art that I really liked and wanted to take with me, but there was a LOT of it, and I even wanted to leave some of that behind. And my dresser (which is actually in my chantry now).

So Discardia has now invaded my dreams. OK?

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (clothes)
Thursday was really nice. Went out for dinner & tarot with a friend, chatted and gossiped all night, and had nice quiet fun. The train rides home were awful (slow *and* un-airconditioned), and my a/c unit at home wasn't quickly fixing the heat problem.

And then I looked up to make sure a rustling noise I'd heard was just a fallen piece of plastic or something, and saw that it actually was a mouse. Cue Uber-Panic )

Fast bounce-back from anxiety attack, less freaked out by phobias.
+5 Sanity
+2 Spoons
+5 Cleanliness


Saturday I still felt pretty hung over (but no more than usual for a weekend), so I lazed around for a bit and eventually went thru a 'fun' chore while watching Buffy dvds. Chores, sewing, and a variety of bonus scores. )

Actually, here is a photo collage of the process of making the Delenn jacket/skirt costume on my Tumblr b/c photo-blogging is easier that way. And some bits about things I did/fixed and the pattern number.


As for this week's tarot forecast (tumblr) it looks like being towards the end of my budget limits may drive me a bit nutz this week. I do want some things for pest control reasons, and in that case going $30 over won't be the end of the world. In the future, maybe I want to *only* aim on spending 2/3 of my extras budget, so I have that extra cash in case of 'emergency' stuff like this.

Moar Costuming! )

But I must say, all the SDCC footage and online responses have severely whetted my appetite for DragonCon. I'm torn between wishing it were this week, and being glad its not b/c I have costume stuff to finish ;-) And I REALLY want to do more than one con next year.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: BEADS!!!!!! (bead bunny)
So the weekend happened, and I stayed inside my building from Friday night thru Monday morning. I went to the laundry room Sunday evening, and that was it. But after last week was much nicer, this week the highs will be in the mid 90s, and my migraines are already coming back. Blegh.

My stomach's also been extra grouchy since dinner break. Could be the heat, could be the herbal tummy supplement I tried this weekend at half dose, and it didn't really do anything. Except stop me from going to bed on time on Friday b/c I didn't remember it was a stimulant until after I took it. Durh.

Because of laundry craziness, I'm wearing slacks to work for the first time in ... weeks? Months? And they're a bit tight. Not sure if this is b/c I'm gaining more weight, my tummy's all upset and inflamed, or if I'm just not used to them anymore. I was my heaviest weight evar around this time last year, so maybe something about summer just makes me heavier. And then I lost 10 of those lbs again by September when I stopped eating wheat for 8 weeks, *shrugs* I just hope I don't have to buy more clothes, b/c urgh shopping :-P

This week I got a bit angsty over the dramas of my past, and it was just weird and sudden. Combo of current events and suggestions, and probably that weird herbal supplement I tried just made me temporarily crazy. Luckily I'm already in therapy, so it was nice talking about it today and trying to figure it out. Aside from that I'd been more anxious and phobic this weekend, and b/c I'd been doing better I'd forgotten my 'anxiety hiccup' practices & Sedona stuff for most of it. Whups. Back on track now. Mostly I blame the summer.



I'm almost done with the sewing parts of my DCon costume. Sewing, shinies, research, laundry, and (over?)spending. )

Unfortunately, I've now maxed my 'extras' budget for July, so no more orders of *anything* until August. And I managed to do that before being fully half way through the month. I am not sure I like this pattern- plan a purchase for the next month, spend everything by the half way point, rinse repeat. Yes, all of the things have purposes, but I'm starting to not like spending my $$. Luckily, I have plenty of sewing & crafting to do now that I have no $$ to go out and do things. Not that I'm apparently healthy enough to go out in July. That's how I can afford to make costumes, I'm too sick & tired to attend costumed events :-P


B/c I couldn't fall asleep on Friday night, I spent a while unF-ing my beads workbench area, and organizing and labeling containers. Thus I was able to spend most of Sunday comfortably playing with wire, both tried and true methods to make a few pairs of earrings, and some more experimental stuff to try out for the Dcon project. Monday morning I went through my seed-beading supplies and ... Ima need more soon. But again I think I can hold off until August. Set up four bracelet projects, that should tide me over. May do photos this weekend if I remember. And maybe I'll properly cut and hem the background fabrics I like to use now, so the process is a bit more streamlined, before I break out another full sewing project.

Not that I've even finished uploading the pictures/items from the last bunch of photos I took to Etsy. Or made any blog posts for the ones that are up. Ooops. At least I'm a better artisan than I am a promoter. Ironically, selling more shinies would help with the financial stress. Assuming I can remember how when its 95 degrees and humid outside. Durh.


Today I went over some of the data from my food-journal, to work out how much $$ I *could* be spending on groceries in a month. Food, you SUCK. )

I guess its finally super humid now, b/c the newer, prettier drip pan under my a/c is finally seeing some action. And so far it seems to be working like I'd hoped: lower but wider container = more surface area = more evaporation so it doesn't overflow and make me have to deal with the creepy next-door neighbor. Yaaay.


As for this week's social plans, I'm going out with a friend on Thursday to trade tarot services for dinner. Yay! Hopefully my tarot skillz won't suck due to heat-induced brainfog and migraines, but we can always reschedule for another time if I get full-on sick. Other than that, no plans. I hope to have the brainpower for bits of sewing and jewelry work, but if today is any indication I don't have much hope.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
So, week and a half or so without posting, whups! On the other hand, the headaches have taken a pretty bad turn this late-June-early-July time of year. So I've also had to bail on socializing plans for the last couple of weeks, contrary to my long-term goals, so kinda sad. On the other hand, I learned the hard way many years ago that going out when you don't feel well can lead to high levels of more ick.

It helps to keep things in perspective. In general, this time last year I was a complete wreck. Severely chronic-fatigued, no real plan of action to deal with it, and no medical support structure to help me. Physically and emotionally depleted, probably the lowest point of the last two years of this body-fail. Specifically, I think it was early July when I had the migraine that was so severe I needed an MRI to make sure I wasn't having a stroke. (It wasn't, and now I have fun free pics of my brain, yay.)

By comparison, things aren't so bad this summer. Even with the headaches (no crazy migraine auras yet), even with having to bail on friends parties and events, even with renewed sleep deprivation & my energy levels plummeting again yesterday and today. My road to less-fail started this time last year, so didn't really become obvious until late August, so I didn't really learn how to deal with the Dog Days of Summer in NYC. Guess I'll learn now, *shrugs*.

This time I have doctors who actually help me, an acupuncturist who is nice and insightful (tho we're taking a break for this month due to financial reasons, and she's even OK with that), and have identified and eliminated dietary and lifestyle habits that were making me worse. Tho the only properly diagnosed problem I have is a barely researched hard-to-treat sleep disorder, it helps to know I have it, and my non-drug guesswork to try fixing it has been helpful.

So I'm hoping this is just a temporary thing, brought on by the heat, and also hoping that I can acclimate to the heat rather than just hide in my home all summer.

I also hope that I'm actually 'leveling' into a more interesting stage of life, b/c the alternative looks very not fun.


As for the last couple weeks of goings on...

Weekend of fabric! )

The 2.5 Day Work Week )

Doctor Visit (no, not that one) )

Patriotically Sick )

Dizzy Cooking for a Four Day Weekend )

Conked out early Sunday nite and got 9 hours of sleep for today. But this morning I had another bout of being a listless lump, almost unable to get my butt out of the house to start the day. That seemed to pass by the time I got to work, but the brain fog is still really bad. Behind the brain fog, my energy levels seem to be fluctuating, but not too low.

I think today's ick is from continued sleep dep, and thus indirectly caused by the heat wave. No matter how many aspects of my life that I hack, or how many precautions I take, you just can't control the weather. Oh well. But up until yesterday and today, my energy levels had been pretty good, so maybe I'll start feeling better now that this week's heat index is around 90F instead of 100F. And I hope I'm acclimated by DCon.

There's a Harry Potter meet up group gathering on Thursday, so I'd like to attend that, but hopefully body fail won't get in the way. I won't force myself to go if it does, tho its nicely close to one of my train lines. Its at a bar with food, but not me-friendly food, so will pack an extra lunch box for that day if I think I'm up for it. Saturday is Browncoats, but I like having my Saturdays free to sleep and/or space out. But its an option.

This morning I remembered to pack one new project into my bead kit and take it to work with me, so that's good. I think with my recent heat issues, and recent weird weather, I'm just going to stay inside on my lunch breaks with craft stuff. I didn't get around to putting some other projects together, but hopefully I can when the brain fog lifts. I haven't had much yen for jewelry work lately, despite the energy increase, but I hope it hits soon. I need shiny things for my DCon & wedding costumes, and my Etsy shop. I think I have enough seed beads & crystals to do more of those types of pieces until August, when I may have to order some more, in that nice specific "I have a list!" way that works quite well for me.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (clothes)
Yay! I am awake today! This is amazing! Not quite as good as last week (before the late nite phone spam) but better than earlier this week. Also, today I got the barest hint of migraine this morning before it went away on its own. Woot. (Have had to take migraine meds Weds & Thurs, not woot. What is it about June that makes my head hurt???)

Noticeable factors: Over the weekend I went to CC and picked up a variety of GF snacks (not nec paleo). Since Saturday I'd been snacking on 'veggie chips', which include corn but also do that veggie puree thing. Wednesday I switched back to corn chips, Thursday & Friday are noticeably better. So apparently corn chips are magical. Or something. Yesterday I stopped by the overpriced local shop to get organic corn chips, and they're not giving me a tummy ache like they used to. So yay, I can at least have the organic version of a thing that probably isn't very good for me, but is still having an oddly beneficial side effect. *shrugs*

Sewing= time budget success! Money budget... not sho much. )

Will also try to be a bit more careful with grocery budget for the rest of the month, Adventures in Noms! )

On Tuesday I went for needling, and told my needler that I wanted to take July off. B/c a) want to save some extra cash for DCon, b) not sure if acupuncture is really working as well as it used to, and c) I can always get back to needling in August before DCon. If I turn out to be wrong about b, I can always call them and set up another appointment. She totally understood. I asked if I might be building up a tolerance to needling, or if my physical problems are more-fixed so now its the mental/habits problems that need more work. She thinks more likely the latter than the former. But we'll see. Definitely going to be a bit more social in the next 6 weeks, we'll see if that shakes anything else loose in my headmeats. Much as I like my needler, my budget is a bit strained these days, even when I'm not buying fabric.

Also, a DCon friend has offered me a Reiki boost while we're there. Still very Reiki curious, but my attempt at going to the 'student practice session' failed b/c Hurricane Sandy. And then I just got distracted. *shrugs*


I'll probably put off all the grocery shopping (which isn't really that much) until tomorrow, b/c this evening a friend is in town and we might go hang out for a little while wit another friend. Possibly with fancy GF french macaroons. Which I probably won't try baking myself this weekend, since I'm doing other kitchen stuff. But some day, macaron. You too, meringue. Tho the last time I had macaron I got super dizzy, so today we'll see if that was a fluke or if almond flour hates my brain (I use almond *butter* in banana bread & brownies). A lot of gf-baking mommy bloggers are against almond flour, but I don't remember why. *shrugs*


I think I'm more or less off the strict paleo thing now, if that wasn't clear before. I can't keep up strictly with a crazy-rich-ppl diet. I'll happily use their recipes, but with ingredients and equipment that I can actually afford.

And don't get me started about "OMG THIS RECIPE IS TOTES PALEO EVEN THO I FRIED OR BAKED EVERYTHING IN EXPENSIVE BUTTER NOW BUY MY COOKBOOK!" *sigh* Luckily I can usually sub in bacon fat or coconut oil when something needs a room-temp-solid fat. But when they're using full fat cow cream to make ice cream... wtf.

Mind you, todays macarons will probably have dairy in them, but at least the pills fix the tummy ache problem, and it doesn't mess me up for days like gluten (or we'll find out today). The shop also isn't claiming to be Paleo :-P

<3 Chrysilla

Today's Health Rating:

1-Horrible
2-Thud
3-Meh
4-OK
5-Yay?
6-Yay!
7-Old normal, YAY!

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