chrysilla: (bb accounts)
Wondering if quitting my dayjob for a lower paying work-from home thing (creative + patreon, or freelance research etc) would be better or worse in the long run.

Given research about EBV without a doctor's guidance thus far (urgh), it seems largely the virus gets reactivated by stress. But ... how much stress? One really bad day? A sinus infection? A constant low drone of stress? Furthermore, many people seem to do better at managing it (or curing, according to some anecdotal accounts, meh) on various clean/elimination diets plus daily vitamin supplements and/or occasional vitamin megadoses during active-virus time. And none of that is ever covered by insurance. So... if I quit my dayjob, would I need less expensive healthcare? Or would it only help for a short while, like with everything else I've ever tried, and the virus will just reactivate itself again for no clear reason?

breaking it down )

So... very much a gamble. Could pay off, might blow up in my face.

What I really want right now is to just get an EBV *reprieve*, even if just for a few months to a year. Then I can get my creative stuff off the ground and see whether or not I even *could* make enough $$ from it to quit my dayjob, and then I can make a plan to move from one to the other a bit less jarringly. Or the +ment bonus from having those projects work out could sustain me enough for the dayjob.

I think most ppl who would tell me to quit my job without much forethought probably have waaaay more health privelidge than I do. Meh.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
First day of classes at work, so every time I go to type or read something a patron turns up. Very bizy. Although not very crowded, b/c a large part of the student population is probably still snowed out of NYC as of this weekend. But everyone who's here is definitely making it sound like a full house, b/c rampant coughing.

Tbh, the blizzard didn't alter the path of my life while it was happening. Housebound weekend, already in progress. )

This will probably be the last weekend I can get away with not doing any homework (spaced out and forgot, whups). Starting in February I'll have one assignment due every week, so best to work on those during the weekend. Found out from the prof I had last semester that he did put down a final grade for my transcript (A, woot) but unfortunately its not showing up in the whole system. And he didn't give grades/comments for the individual projects b/c he was going to do that later. Well... its later? And maybe this semester I won't wait until the last minute to do most of my assignments :-/ It just feels very overwhelming, even after last semester wasn't so bad.

Arisia gave me new drive to work on my podcast again, so... maybe this time it'll last? Writing is free, luckily, unlike sewing. Will try to finish up the last of the cut-out sewing projects next weekend (when not homeworking :-P), and then leave the fabric stash alone for a few months. Then I will make myself go out with ppl a bit more, and otherwise work on creative writing. It would be nice to finally get this project off the ground now, so if it fails miserably I can doubledown on being a growup, getting my degree and trying for a better paid but still boring library job.

And b/c everyone else in the Domain is going to Dreamation or something, the local NYC larp got moved to the fourth weekend when I'll already be in Boston for MES. *shrugs* Maybe I can get this geeky project off the ground during my two month vacation from the local game?

It continues to annoy me that I have plenty of time in which to work on both school and creative projects, but CFS means I'm too tired. If I remember to work on things I'm too spaced out to concentrate. But I'm seeing a sleep-doc next month, along with some other docs, so maybe something will work? The adrenal-testers cashed the check, so maybe someday I'll get those test results too. My thyroid is on the low side but still in normal ranges (for other ppl), Ima ask my PCP if he can do *something* to treat that anyway if other docs can't help so much.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (bb accounts)
Was trying to get back into the once-a-week habit, but to be honest nothing much has happened since Arisia, b/c I've continued to be super burnt out.

Sleep stuff )
Job stuff )
Sewing & fabric stuff )

This upcoming weekend is MES larping, so Ima start my 'just two games' experiment to see if I get less hungover. Saturday afternoon and evening games for this weekend, but most months it will probably be the Friday and Saturday nite games. Spoon conservation, availability of IRC games, trips to Boston, and other factors involved in this idea.

Other than that ... no real plans. NYRSF is tomorrow, and since I'm not closing tonight I might be well rested enough to go. On the other hand, the city streets are clogged with snow and ridiculous slush puddles, and today I might have to ice skate home if nobody tries to fix that. I guess ppl were too sports-focused this weekend to freak out about the snowstorm, so I wasn't really prepared for this today. Not as bad as it could be, tho.

Acupressure keeps working. *shrugs* Got the recommended book, we'll see what else it can help with. The Reiki book was nonsense tho.

Tonight I do really need to wash the laundry, couldn't Sunday nite b/c I had a stomach problem that stopped me from sleeping well on Saturday nite. I hope the commute doesn't drain me past the point of ability. And with the laundry rack out, I can't cut out more sewing projects, so maybe if I'm home I can work on some housekeeping instead. The "Completely In/Active" resolution isn't going 100%, but I'm still working on it.


Got my BPAL Halloweenies in the mail today, so at least I can play with those tonite whether or not I'm functional. A friend stopped by over the weekend with a Yule she didn't like, but I did and bought it off her. That leaves only one Yule that I want to order, which I could also do tonight. And another LE, but its currently out of stock while the line doesn't go down until the 5th. I could order imps if I'm only getting one bottle, but I also like the idea of NOT doing that and spending less $$. Other ppl like having them for the season, but I find waiting for other ppl to review them saves me $$. Yaaay.


Weekend after next, probably taxes. B/c I <3 $$ more than boys right now (2/14), and I feel no shame for it. Wheeeee! Also probably more sewing and scrap-sorting.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)

Since I last posted, I was well enough to do all the MES games I'm in the following weekend, and then Wednesday the following week I got smacked by another sinus infection. That's the fourth in four months. And I was sick until Tuesday the following week, and HR still hasn't processed my time off.  My houseguest still came in, and I wasn't about to turn her out at the last minute, and she was very nice about the whole thing. I didn't sleep well all weekend, but that was definitely the fault of my jerky loud neighbors and not my wonderful houseguest. So I'm OK to have more of those in the future, I just hope I won't be sick next time. *sigh*

In other words, another two weekends of not finishing all-the-chores before the work week returned. Bad grownup.

By the time I saw my allergist I was getting better, so she wouldn't give me antibiotics (tho I suspect this is taking up permanent, recursive residence in my insides), but if it comes back I can ask her immediately to dose me. She did give me a new regular allergy rx to help with this new repeating problem, and so far it seems to be helping.

Ended up selling my NYCC pass for Saturday to a friend, so at least that's some $$ I can spend on Arisia instead.  I'm not really that into NYCC but was looking forward  to cosplaying with friends and seeing lots of geekiness, sampling BPALs, etc.  But I didn't want to force myself to go while sick, and ironically DCon is a better deal for the sick person. More sit-down entertainment (panels, screenings, music), sleeping quarters right upstairs of con, and a drugstore on the premises. Oh well, I guess *next* year will be the year I try really hard to like NYCC. I'd finished my B5 cosplay and everything :-( 

Hopefully I'm not sick for Arisia (I can deal with being sick afterwards), and I've finally got all my arrangements made for that except roommates. But b/c I stalled out for too long, I missed the main-hotel room block. Oh well. I can still eat in the main hotel, the overflow hotel has zero gf nomming options.

And since then... not much going on. Got sick again, recuperated again, felt very cranky and stuck about my life. Cuz I don't do a whole lot more with it when I'm *not* too sick to go to work.  But last week, once I was able to return to work on Wednesday, I went to MES downtimes and ended up doing lots of plot-fixing until 11pm (whups).  And then I declared Nerd NYC's boardgame nite to be a Social for MES ppl, and while only one other Cammie showed up it was still fun.

Still on the Strattera, and now I'm at the 'full' pediatric dose of 60mg per day. I'm not really noticing any improvements but also not getting worse. Still not sure if the sleep probs are medical or seasonal (four months of allergies not helping :-P). So I'm willing to give it another few weeks before I declare it a fail. I really don't want to try the stronger meds. Need to work harder on catching up on teh sleeps to make sure its not a side effect.

Part of why I forced myself to be social last week was a) missing my geek-out dose from con, and b) I'd be in for the following weekend. I'm still not really catching up on making Things for my challenge, but this weekend I made some progress through my glut of sewing projects. All for the next NYC MES weekend of games, Halloween weekend. I'll make a separate post of that. It feels like I didn't do much now, but that's probably b/c my brain crashed after the double sewing marathon. I ordered more fabric b/c I'm a sucker for sales, but it was stuff I'd already swatched for more insurance-clothes against working in an unheated office all winter. A nice red flannel and a nice blue flannel. And new machine needles cuz I keep breaking them. Oops.

Nothing really planned for the coming week, at least not out of the house. I'd like to continue working on sewing projects, might cut out a bunch all at once and then gradually sew thru them so I don't have to worry about not having the craft table for another week (laundry + moar houseguests). I also still need to work on the polymer clay bits for my Lost costume, as I have either bought or ordered (or already have) all the other pieces. Some of them are kinda big, or might need big armatures/guides for baking, so I'll probably just suck it up and put them in the big oven. Doing that once in a while won't kill me.

For the weekend, there's nothing on the calendar except an Accord game on IRC, maybe, but I'm already at xp cap for the month. Might go out? Or maybe I'll finally get back to the Magnet on Wednesday or Thursday if I'm not relapsing. Or I could just work on more sewing projects cuz THE HEAT WILL NEVER EVER WORK IN MY OFFICE AGAIN. So I need more jackets and sweaters :-P

In therapy today I rehashed how I forget to call ppl to just go out to things I want to attend. But checking the internets today, Court of Lazarus was last night, and Secret Speakeasy is skipping the next 4th Sunday to have a post-Halloween party, and nope too much for me that weekend already. The 25th is Wits End, and now I have several pretty things to wear to it, so Ima see who wants to go. And probably invite some ppl directly b/c ppl rarely answer a FB wall post.

 

Apparently Thursday is supposed to be some big astrological whosawhatzit. Yay? I haven't done a tarot forecast in weeks, until last night, here's what I have to look forward to:

Tarot! Pics! )

 

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
So that's another very mixed two weeks. Arisia was great, and then the endoscopy was fine, and then I had a sinus infection that still hasn't let go of me. But I had to go back to work last Wednesday anyway.

First, Arisia! Read more... )

And then, an endoscopy. Read more... )

And then, a headcold/sinus infection thingie. Read more... )

Now things are sortof back to normal, except my supervisor transferred out of our department last week on Friday, so I have some new duties to attend to around the office. Which I made sure to write down b/c of medicine fog :-P. Sad to see him go, but he's going to a more tech-programming focused department.

Hopefully the boss will get on with filling the position soon, b/c I'm already feeling the lack. Without a manager to back us up, I still have to come in for opening shift if I get sick again :-/ Over the last couple of years it seems like I only get one terrible cold-out per semester, but I didn't get to recover fully before going back to work this time, so eep. Also, hopefully they get a move on with that, b/c apparently the position doesn't require an MLS. Which means more of my IT-centric friends may be able to apply. Hooray!


While I was sick, BPAL put out their Lupercalia limited's, but obv with a sinus infection I haven't done all the figuring out for that :-P But they'll be up until March 18th, and I'd like to read some reviews before I buy (if possible), and I'll be splitting my order between two months to save teh budgets. They're also discontinuing a bunch of scents on 3/18, including a couple of imps I recently aquired and enjoyed, but not sure if I want bottles. Plenty of time to figure it out, hopefully, after the sinuses subside :-P At least spending $$ on perfume means I can't spend it on fancy chocolates this month.


While sick, apparently in the last throes of Venus in retrograde, I started missing having things to work on that my brain could actually keep up with. Crafty Stuffs )

On a whim of some kind (it was hazy, I don't remember clearly), I decreased last week's lunch boxes to see what happened. And my digestive system was a bit less cranky, and I wasn't extra hungry after work. Tho granted, I may be too spaced out on cold meds to notice. So Ima keep doing that, which means less grocery bills.

There's a shortage of a few things at home, b/c I'm starting to space out my monthly CC trips differently. Now instead of going the first Saturday of the month, Ima go after the first payday of the month. B/c I'm tired of having to shuffle $$ around accounts to get groceries after paying all my bills. Darn monies.

Last week I also noticed that if I put all of my savings into my Roth IRA each month, instead of splitting it between IRA and emergency savings, I could max out my Roth IRA this year. Did a bit more research, and in a job-loss sort of emergency I apparently can take $$ out of my Roth without a penalty. Or at least without the same penalties. I have about 2-3 months expenses saved in the regular savings account, and "experts" say to have 6+ months saved, but Future Retired Chrysilla won't be able to eat ramen, so I'd like to start maxing out the IRA pls. If I have to drain emergency savings for some reason, I can go back to splitting paymetns until its refilled.


And there was tarot, but a big reading for Imbolc. I was a bit... fuzzy, but I got there eventually. Tarot photo! )


Overall... I want to go out and see my friends, and do fun stuff. But I'm still actively sick, as compared to the passive sick I sortof always am. And I'm still waiting for more medical data. I don't feel patient so much as "I f'ing give up already". Will see how it goes. Felt better this weekend, but if today's cranky-making blizzard puts me in a sinus relapse, I will be even more cranky. And I just plumb forgot my last allergy shot appointment (before Arisia), so I have to get that together as well. Will call that doc tomorrow.

This week I'm going to see Coriolanus at the NYU place, so hopefully that will be fun. Would like to stay out after with friends, but I'm not sure what my body will be up for. :-/

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (galadriel lembas mix)
Well, not entirely. I did spend most of last week going straight home after work and resting some more. Got a few extra-long nights of sleep, too. Tho on Thursday I was home sick b/c of a ridiculously painful stomach upset + sleep dep late Wednesday nite.

And Friday night I actually managed to go out with an old friend for dinner and then Nerd NYC's boardgame night, which I'd forgotten about until he started steering me towards the cafe. Late in the work day, my brain basically sat up and said "If we don't go out tonight in some fashion, I will make you MISERABLE to be home alone." So... went out. I have really forgotten how to socialite, but my friend saw my whiny tweet and was available for noms.Was very fun! Got to catch up with my buddy, have good noms including a milkshake b/c I was tired of not having milkshakes (had pills, so no negative consequences, yay), and then I learned to play three new card based games with a brain that is usually made up of gf mush. Yay!

The weekend was fail again, b/c of me being stupid about what I ate (considering new stomach problems), and over-working myself on chores, so I didn't have the spoons to go to my friend's holiday party on Sunday nite. So the weekend started really good, and then ended with me feeling like a jerk and a dummy. Oh well.


There was a recurring theme of dietary and stomach stuff all week. Cut for boring continued whining about tummy issues. )

My GI didn't call back about the celiac test, so I don't know if that means it was negative, or the results haven't come back yet, or if her office is just super disorganized. I really hope I don't have to go thru the testing process again, b/c NO never again. Ima write up a list of questions for my appointment Tuesday afternoon so I don't forget or get lost in a brain fog. Tho I guess the new (?) symptoms might require a new (different) procedure, hopefully not as hardcore as the other one. Eeek.

I also really need to see a dentist soon. Will try to remember to look it up while on break, but probably won't be able to line up an appointment that quickly. Will see.


Tomorrow's appointment is in Union Square at 3:30, so Ima do the last of my holiday shopping around there, too. And maybe, finally, pick me up some snow boots. With luck I won't need them tomorrow :-P Then Ima meet up with a friend after she gets off work, for Burgers & BPAL (well, technically BPTP, but close enough).

And my giant BPAL order finally shipped today, So Bpal stuff )

Was going to work a grocery shopping list out with the 'rents, so they could pick stuff up and I could cook Cris-friendly noms in their kitchen while I'm there for the holiday, but ... most of my fun baking recipes are almond based. So I need to email them saying that won't work out. They're pretty good at getting me shelf-ready noms tho, and I can still has chocolate (and fruits, & veggies), I certainly won't starve. Now I'm working on a list of LOD recipes I want to try out over winter break, but I hope I don't spend my whole vacation cooking. Or sick, for that matter. Sleeping all vacation would be acceptable, if not preferable.

Ugh, everyone in the library is coughing and its getting on my nerves. And I don't want to get sick right before my vacation. Ugh I hates it. Haaaaate it. And everybody is crazy studying for finals tonight, so I don't see how they're allowing the coughers to live.


Otherwise, no plans for the week. I supposed if I have another sudden ARGHNEED to go out I can actually call on ppl directly to see what's going on, and there's always improv theaters in a pinch. But my energy levels have been really random for the last few weeks, and my tummy is always unpredictable. So Ima just chill out, and hope these spoiled students don't all get me sick before I leave on Friday. I'm also out of stick days, so hopefully my tummy doesn't make me sick either. Only respiratory stuff is covered by my overly complicated FMLA claim.

I'm a bit sniffly today, but furiously fighting the could-be illness. Grrr. And its not like I haven't already been sniffly for weeks. Aside from that the outside-weathery-cold doesn't seem to be messing me up so far. Its still in refreshing-mode for me.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
Last week's plans kinda backfired. My body, especially the digestive system, is still pretty upset about the medical procedure I have a couple weeks ago. On top of that, extra lethargy and brainfog, which I can't tell is part of the digestive protest or the changing weather. *Or* b'c I tried ginko supplements again last week. The last time I tried them, I was also very extra groggy, but there were other medical things going on too (part of No-vember :-P). Maybe I'll just leave that bottle on the shelf for a few *months* this time and try again later. Its not like it was helping.

And that pretty much sums up last week. Wednesday I forced myself to go see the first two shows at Magnet Megawatt, and the shows were good, and a few ppl remembered who I was which was nice. But while going out with friends for a night of gossip and brain-ing can sometimes wake me from the brain/body fogs, sitting in a dark theater watching a show isn't really as stimulating. Tho they were still very good shows, so I look forward to seeing more improv when I stop having all the brain worms.

Thursday night, b/c it was kinda warm that day, I decided to have a frozen fruit smoothie to help get thru all the stuff in my freezer. The next day my stomach was extra extra cranky. Either the bananas were not-good before I froze them, or blue and blackberries have more oxalates in them than I realized. They're *kinda* high on the scale, but the scale itself is kinda wobbly, and concentrations of a fruit's makeup can change a bit after freezing. I have a friend who may be willing to take the blueberries off my hands, there's a f'ing ton of them b/c I splurged at CC in the early autumn. I'd rather give them to someone who can eat them than toss them out.


The rest of the week I kinda gave up on socializing b/c I just felt so blegh. Didn't manage any writing either. Spent the whole weekend inside, with possible going-out plans in case I suddenly felt better, but nope. I did manage to do the big CC grocery trip, including a frozen duck Ima play with over winter break. And stayed on budget, yay for me.

All teh fooding )

Back on the downside tho, the mouse-problem has returned to the library. Tho it always looks like the same mouse. After the first sighting on ... Thursday (? Ugh, so brain fogged)... some ITS guys showed up to fix the holes they'd made in one of the electrical closets the week before. And those closets are supposed to be totally sealed of holes for firecode reasons, so that seemed a likely reason for the sudden mouse. If its not the same one, there's more holes (but we don't have the keys to those closets, one of the maintenance departments has reign over that), if it is the same one then it must not have gotten back home before they sealed everything up. Either way, I called a second time for moar traps, so hopefully they'll come over soon. Ugh. Do not like, not at work pls :-(

Last week I also picked the Sedona book back up, b/c I've slacked off on that emotional mindfullness stuff. So will see if that helps, with phobias and in general.


This week is pretty clear except for a friend's holiday Yule party next Sunday, and then next week I have my GI follow up and my allergy shot. So this week I may just leave my schedule open for more resting and relaxing until Sunday. And I've already decided not to feel guilty for doing that.

Might as well just accept that my body is still made of fail (and according to a friend who has the same procedure, this can last for weeks afterward :-P) and cross my fingers that I'll feel better for winter break in two weeks (instead of getting my bi-annual sinus infection :-P). And then its two weeks of not having to deal with the world if I don't want to, yay.

Today I came into work to find the package from my friend's shop had come in, yay! Ritual/perfume oils, including a very generous freebie. Already wearing the Lavender healing oil, because. So may get to some pagan-ing while home recuperating. Also realized today that I've been using 'honey jars' like mojo hands. Whups. Not really sure whether or not its working anyway, tho. Tho following that logic, I could try using my spiffy new ritual oils to *feed* them like mojo hands. *ponders*

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
Was feeling mostly OK today, but now my brain seems torn about whether its awake or asleep. Meh.

Really, REALLY poor sleep for the last week. Attack of the heaters & alpha waves )


Really REALLY need to do some housecleaning soon. Upkeep )

At least being so uber-frustrated with my life again led me into a ton of rage-sewing, Finish projects, cut ties )

Will also have to pull out some jewelry supplies this weekend to make wedding gifts, but that shouldn't be so bad. Oh, and my own jewelry for wedding-con, which will be light since I made the whole friking costume myself. *sigh* I've also considered raiding my own stock bins for relevant shinies, cuz its not like anyone's purchased them yet.

Not feeling any pressing need to get back into jewelry right now, aside from this obligation. And now cutting sewing out of my daily life as well. Wondering if I need to add my writing project to the Samhain Sacrifice as well, but then what do I have left? And I am effectively cutting the other projects *for* this other thing. And its the only one that doesn't feel like an obligation now (yet?). I'm also very tired of going to gatherings and having only CF and gluten to talk about, eeek. At least once I get the writings together, it becomes a more social, communal art form after that. And hopefully I'll have the energy to keep up with it.

I guess I'm back to the plan/hope of building myself up to a point where the occasional setback (or SUMMER) doesn't completely paralyze me for weeks/months at a time. And at least writing requires less physical labor than the craft stuff, including wrangling and hauling and shopping for the craft stuff. Its nice having my desk cluttered with stuff that I don't feel guilty about ignoring, b/c its not jewelry supplies.

This week's tarot )

Keeping this week pretty wide open aside from the Witch-stuff on Thursday night. I thought there was also a goth party that night, but can't find it on FB now. Might be a post-Halloween Brooklyn outing on Saturday if I feel OK, might be a Wednesday nite movie if I can still get tix (spazzed out, so probably not). Tuesday Ima try to finish some crafty stuff if I can.

Still too warm to wear my now finished Doom Coat during the day. @#!$#^!#$!@$%~!!!!!!!!!! Will probably wear it to work on Wednesday anyway, to see how it will hold up for Thursday. Otherwise, pretty vintage cut dress + cat ears = enough Halloween for mees.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
So last week was pretty mixed.

Tuesday night I went to a book/music Fairyland event, and it wuz AWESOME.

It was a CMV/S00j event, so it was a wonderful combo of the new book and new album, and I picked up the previous book that I missed, and got to gabble with lots of new and old friends and YAY! Not really sure what else needs to be described. Yay! Unbridled awesomeness!

By the end of the late evening with friends, I was very wired, and already due to be late for bedtime. But I felt more like myself that I have for... months? Years? So it was a little bittersweet. A) I haven't been myself in so long, B) I couldn't tell how long it would last.

Last week's tarot indicated that there'd be a hammer launched at my CFS problems, so *hopefully* this is more helpful data on what wakes up teh Chrysilla. I am a social creature, despite my upbringing, and those batteries need to be recharged by the presence of other people.


And Wednesday I was a bit strung out, but no where near as bad as I would have expected based on getting to bed an hour late, and then having more trouble falling asleep. Furthermore, stressful dreams of "Its high school finals and I don't remember going to class in the first place. D-:"

Today in therapy I talked about how when I *was* in h.s., I had a whole bunch of apocalypse dreams. But they weren't nightmares, b/c me and my dream-friends would always survive and go on. I figured it was about how college was looming as a wonderful escape from the life I didn't like. The other day I reflected about how much I miss those dreams. Give me an apocalypse over high school any day :-P

By comparison, I think the h.s. test dreams are also an expression of "Ugh, I hate my life" but I don't have a clear path out of this one. HS-to-college is a very clear path to escape, or at least it was for me. And there's the additional element that there's something wrong with me and I don't know what it is. I didn't get to take a CFS class, I don't know how to pass the test. I don't know how to fix the problem, and I have very little to go on.


Less fun & interesting bits )

So I was productive last week, but not really *creative*. If I go out I have great fun and feel awesome, if I stay home I crash out and turn into a zombie. In neither scenario do I get any writing done, and this is very frustrating.

Wondering if I also need to give up pattern sewing for a while (post wedding), until its time to get ready for DCon. Or maybe put those two costumes on hold too. What's more important, realizing my long term goals or having people maybe take my picture at con?

It couldn't hurt to put sewing aside for November (or earlier, depending on when I finish the costume, and the Doom Coat, and a couple other UFOs), leave the jewelry aside, and see where that leaves me in terms of creative energy. Like beads, fabric doesn't spoil. And I have such a nice system of storage for it. Tidy apartment, messy desk :-)



This week, I'm meeting up with a friend for dinner & BPAL geekery on Tuesday. We did a combined order to save on shipping, and it's just come in. Yaay for friends and BPAL :-)

Wednesday I have my allergy shot, but also the pneumonia vaccine. I do OK with the yearly flu vaccines, but this one is an every-few-years deal so... not sure what's going to happen to me. But will not forget the 48 hour reporting window for my "sinuses suck" claim if it makes me sick again.

Leaving Thursday open in case of bodily fail, the rest of the week is pretty much up in the air. Friday there's another bookish event, by an author friend who's in town again for NYCC, but it depends on whether or not my body works. Would be nice to see yet another group of writers I like. Not doing NYCC itself, but there are several parties going on over the weekend that I might try if I'm healthy. Sho glad I'm not hosting any of them this year :-P

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
So... yah. I posted the last thing, then started getting sick the following Friday, and then it was sinus infection for that whole weekend, and the following week. Today is my first day back at work. Still a little bit congested, but what's really messing me up right now is that my sleep schedule's been frakked. I went to bed at 11pm last night, it took a long time for me to fall asleep, and then I woke up at 7am this morning. I figured I'd doze until 9am, and instead I fell properly asleep again, and got woken up from the middle of a dream-cycle. So now I feel like I haven't slept at all. Meh.

Last week was NOT happy. In the house of sickness )

The year-long tarot forecast I did in May cited 4 of Swords for September, indicating that it would be a chill out, naptime, downtime, stock-taking kind of month. And it made sense, given DCon crash and my usual ragweed problem. But I still hates it when its actually happening. But September is over next week, and October is Strenght, so I'm hoping to get more things done soon. But trying not to push myself given recent illness.


Dad's b'day was last week, and he liked the books I got him: Good Omens, and a Bradbury anthology. But the parental visit that was going to be last weekend got postponed over to this weekend. Still OK tho, yay Bareburger.


Obviously, I'm having more thoughts about how the life changes I'd like to make. And sooner rather than later. But... problems. )

So for now I'm back on If I could just finish this project, and if it became a regular part of my life, it would at least make life more bearable. And maybe if it took off I'd have more options. But when you're all brainfogged, after TWO YEARS of having my life stalled out, its hard to feel optimistic :-/

Had therapy today, and again I'm trying to figure out how much of my CF problem is psychological vs physical now. I've definitely isolated and dealt with (or mostly dealt with) some physical components of the problem. But are there more to find, or am I just stuck in a brain-rut now? Meh. And I am not patient when I'm brain fogged.


This week's social offerings )

Moar sewing: Also started cutting out fabric for the Regency-ish costume for my friend's November wedding. Tho the Doom Coat isn't finished yet, this has a real deadline on it. Cut out the lining to check the fit, next weekend I might cut out the outer layer, or the (easier, previously used pattern) under dress if the neckline matches like I hoped.


So... things. Maybe things will happen this week, maybe I should just continue to keep my head down and wait until next month for real changes. It may just be too easy to hate my life when I have a headcold :-P

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
Reading some newage-y stuff tonite, started thinking about the place/pattern of self-reinvention in my life thus far. And about how I tend to define myself by the projects I work on. Whether it was the jewelry business, or improv, or college for that matter. "I am teh Chrysilla, I do _____ things."

And about how I might commit and buckle down better to the new project I want to work on if I started making it the central part of my identity. So by becoming a writer/podcaster through and through, I'd actually get it together & completed.


On the other hand, I've been clutching on to my 'jewelry artisan' identity for a while now, and not really making any headway with it. Starting to wonder if that's less a CFS thing and more "I'm tired of this skin, next life phase pls." I do like it, when I remember to work on it, but like improv its just somehow not sustaining my interest or passion anymore.

May also have to resolutely put it on the back-burner for the time being to work on the new thing. Lock it all up, out of sight, so I can focus on new stuff. And lock away the guilt too. I could pick it up again later (sans guilt, of course), or maybe learn that it just doesn't suit my life anymore? Or maybe it didn't suit me to begin with (despite my knack for it) and its just taken me this long to figure that out? In which case, I don't regret the time I've spent, b/c I've learned other things from being a shinies-peddler than the craft itself.

Compared with the sewing, there are also a lot more steps involved that are not directly about making the shiny things themselves. Cataloging, pricing, photographing, etc. I wonder if the sewing is still attractive to me because it is just for me. I make the thing, its finished, the end. And its easier to work on in one hour sets, and easier to space out over months so I don't burn myself out, instead of making ALL THE THINGS as quickly as possible. Tho I've gone "ALL THE THINGS" mode on both jewelry and sewing in the past, somehow jewelry didn't convert after the epiphany of time management, yet?


But then again, the writing/podcasting project will include a lot of different steps to build up the stuff, which will then be intangible electronic data. Not sure if that will make the project more or less difficult for me. I have a friend who found that data-based work didn't work for him, tho he was good at it, b/c there was no tangible product at the end of his work day. However, the thought of having less tangible *stuff* is obviously attractive.

I dunno. I still feel this drive to at least try out the new artform (which is actually a reconnection with my old artforms of script writing & storytelling). Between the two, I'd rather give up jewelry (at least for now) and try the new thing. But that doesn't guarantee I'll even finish b/c fatigue. And if I do finish, no guarantee of "success" (however I define it) either.

And the podcasting may bring out some of my own traits that old friends haven't seen in a while, and new friends haven't seen yet. I will inevitably surprise some ppl, not sure if the results will be worth it, considering the path-of-less-resistance is a bit easier on the fatigued. At least on this project I can be selective on who I invite, audio-drama benefits from a smaller cast, unlike my experiences with larping or improv. I don't have to deal with tons of OOC drama to keep enough warm bodies in the room to play :-P


I guess this week's tarot kinda feeds into that. Sowing new seeds at the start of a long, new, exciting but probably slow-moving process. Strength is rather self-explanatory, tho Shadowscapes also notes the strength of flexibility. And then there's leaving behind an old situation that isn't working, to gain rest & perspective, and free oneself of dead weight.
Tarot Pic! Plus astro-bits. )

Maybe I just need a change to wake me up. The big change I'd really like to make is really not feasible given illness & finances. Tho in that case, could a lesser change (assuming success) lead to a bigger one?

These kinds of thoughts are usually more Samhain than Mabon, but I guess it doesn't hurt to get started early. May do some ritual-izing (everyone's in Scorpio, lol) to help me focus. "This is The Box of Things That Can Wait." :-)

<3 Chrysilla


ps, No I'm NOT giving away free jewelry supplies, will verbally dope-slap anyone who asks. Whenever I bring something like this up and that's the immediate response, the perpetrators sound like a bunch of vultures. If I were going to cash out, I'd actually *cash out* and resell everything on Etsy. Its not just hobby-fodder, its business materials bought and paid for as a long term investment.

And I'll leave the Etsy shop open, even if production is on the backburner, tho I might lapse on tweeting and blogging if that energy would be better applied elsewhere. Its not like dropping that ball will make a huge difference now :-P
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
Better today. A few theories on recent grumpiness:

-I ran out of 5HTP on Saturday nite, and didn't remember to get more until Tuesday evening. It's a chemical that the body turns into serotonin. Durh.

-I've still been a bit extra grumpy before I ran out of supplements and missed other vitamins. Could it be that the brain fog is clearing enough for me to be frustrated about having brainfog? Instead of just staring into space and immediately forgetting what I was thinking about as per usual.

My tummy also isn't helping. Tummy aches, random facial muscle spasms, and dietary implications. )

Thinking about stress )

More good news: my fall scheduling idea is OK with everybody, so next semester I'll still work 1:30-9:30 on Mondays, but every other day will be 9-5 and I'll do the opening shift every morning. So I can keep my sleep schedule more regular, and it helps keep me from staying out late on weeknights (not that its really a problem right now :-P). It also helps those tai chi classes fit my schedule nicely, if I manage to get out there a few times a month. Can get my allergy shots after work from now on, that also fits better this way.


Found this article too, on Scientific American Your thoughts can release abilities beyond normal limits. Includes a study where a fatigue-response was suppressed with a placebo that was supposed to be caffeine. So how do I *consciously* hack my brain into not being all fogged up all the time? I've changed my diet and habits in the hope that they would fix all-the-things, but did I not believe it enough? Are there some disorders even placebos can't solve?


Overall, I've decided *not* to push myself on body hacks or socializing for the next couple of weeks, until after DragonCon. Them maybe I will be rested when I arrive. For once. Assuming there isn't an earthquake and/or hurricane between now and then (2011 was f'ing weird). There will (hopefully) be a meetup of our B5 cosplayers before con, but that's it. Ima enjoy being leisurely and at home this weekend (with optional sewing project :-P), and next weekend there will be lots of laundry and con-prep.

Also... I'm a bit overbudget. More b/c of the electricity bill than anything else. Only a little bit over on groceries (darn fun Indian food section), and I'll still need bananas this week, so *shrugs*. Its still a lot less over than it used to be, yipes. But staying home for inexpensive fun = yay, and con gets its own budget/revenue stream.

Well, OK, I would like to at least try to remember daily light exercise. 10 minutes of yoga per day won't hurt me. Now if only I could *remember* it. Like the tai chi classes, I just forget that they're a thing :-/ I don't really have a goal aside from the exercising itself, weight loss isn't really a thing I care about right now. Its more like I want to prove to myself that I'm capable of remembering it. Is that odd?


Tuesday nite, tho, I completed many tasks written in my dayplanner in a frustrated migraine-infused fatigue-rage, and did not explode or pass out. So that's a good sign:
-I remembered I have a dayplanner! OMG!
-Finished bug-proofing the bathroom.
-Finally fixed my paypal account.
-Got that 5HTP.
-Organized my vitamin case for the rest of the week.
Yay, accomplishments, however modest. That was another nice thing about sewing, completing tasks that *stay*. Unlike cooking.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
Cannot concentrate on cataloging, but I've also finished going thru the 'further search' piles (and managed to catalog about 75% of them, w00t for towers of books *not* falling on me), and TheOldReader is still down, so hello blog.


Realized today how odd it is that I'm looking to work on an audio-drama podcast project, when very few people ever seem to listen to me. But then again, I think I'd be happy enough just completing it for those few people. Yay?


Still fretting and mulling over whether or not I'll be functional when it stops being hot outside. It would be ironic if the warm temps are waking up my system, but also extra-fogging my brain. Or the starch-trick may not work anymore by September. Just don't know what to think. Fretting probably does not help, tho. But like I said, I *do* have more energy, just way less focus, and not enough energy to get over the humidity and go out.


I've been in super obsessive costume/crafting frenzy for days, which now I think is a combo of PMS and a full moon. I've had worse weeks. And at least that brand of brain-weird seems to be subsiding into angsty daydreams. Not sure which I like less. But the getting-crafts-done proves that I do have some energy and focus. Would there be more to work with if it wasn't summer? Or less?


Also thinking through the acupuncture situation. It was really nice having a health-care type person in my life who remembered who I was and what my issues were on sight. Even my nice newish doctor can't do that. But I'm still doing better this month than I expected, physically and emotionally, despite triggers of physical and emo horribleness.


Last night I ordered fabric for the wedding-costume-dress, b/c they were running low on the swatch that I liked best, despite being over budget for the month. It was still only $4 per yard, but I'm deducting that much from next month's 'extras' budget total (tho it counts as spending for this month). And making a list of a few other things I 'need' to pick up in August so I don't overdo it again :-P A couple of lipsticks from the samples I liked (so far, still only 2), B&BW is having a sale so I can pick up my face wash for cheap, I need to get my jackets and coats drycleaned before its cold again, and so far that's it on specifics. Would like to keep it a short, low list in case of emergencies. And b/c DCon will still offset things, even with my savings scheme.

Crafty & sewing stuffs )

And tonight is my allergy shot, so lessee if I esplode. Yaaaay. I remembered to bring an apple to eat at her office, maybe this time I'll remember to take it with me *to* the appointment.


Also had a weird dream last night. I was in a version of my old parents-home bedroom, which was also in my old high school, and I was going through my dresser and other bins of clothing which I hadn't seen in years. New members of my old drama club were poking around with me, and I said I'd happily donate what I didn't want anymore to them for costumes, and that was likely to be a lot of stuff. Odd that my friend Tim R. was also now the 'advisor' in charge of the Masques (he did not go to my h.s.). There was also a lot of wall art that I really liked and wanted to take with me, but there was a LOT of it, and I even wanted to leave some of that behind. And my dresser (which is actually in my chantry now).

So Discardia has now invaded my dreams. OK?

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
So today is borked. *thud*

Home sick, work sleep dep )

Lunch gave me back a few spoons, and I already know how to get through a work day with lots of sleep deprivation, but its looking like I'm not going to make it to Recess this weekend, or the witchfest out front on Astor Pl :-(. I'm going to be curled up in a ball at home pretending that there is no outside world, maybe catching up on the DW I still haven't watched. At least I have geeky plans for the nite of 7/4 to look forward to.

Apparently Mercury is in retrograde, and for ppl with my chart layout that means social re-evaluations. So... apparently Mercury doesn't want me playing RPGs anymore. Well F#$% you too, dude.

Expected Fabric + Surprise Vacation? )

But this weekend, unless I have a magnificent leap of new energy tomorrow, I'm going to stick with minimum chores and intermittent sewing stuff, if that. Did not get around to any while home sick b/c I didn't trust myself enough to use scissors, let alone a sewing machine. But now I have all the fabric-related pieces for my B5 costume, so yay. May work on the jewelry too. My brain is sparking a few ideas despite sleep dep, but I'll reevaluate them when I'm healthy again. I just hope I'm awake enough to pay the bills this weekend.


And no more salsa right before bedtime. Am thinking of going without corn chips next week to see what happens. I'm getting more energy during the day, but also still more awake right before bedtime again, so I'm worried that the processed carbs are kicking my adrenal fatigue back up again. But ... the less processed carbs are so hard to digest. Ugh, digestive systems are lame.

Might make another batch of ice cream, but I'm starting to question the wisdom of even a paleo-recipe amount of un-caffeinated sugar in an evening. But the last batch set up well in both containers, so yum. Might bake more brownies for the 7/4 party b/c I can't think of a savory dish that would actually travel. Will ask them about it.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
I've felt strangely not-awful this week. Despite the cleaning binge & all the rains (tho there have been migraine teases, I have meds for that), I am still a functional person, and my energy levels seem to be going up a bit.

So I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out why, hoping its not a random phenomenon:
Why so awake? )

My tummy is still grouchy, but I'm learning how to deal with the new weirdness. But my skin is also breaking out more this week. And when the CF started gaining traction in my life, my skin became abnormally clear for me. That indicated that my problem might be hormonal, which indicated that it might be my thyroid, but common medical industry practice is "F#$% your problems if they don't show up on our tests the way we say they're s'posed to." So while my thyroid looks inflamed on an ultrasound, my blood tests are in the 'normal' rage, so f#$% me.

And wasn't I super sleepy for the last two weeks? And now I'm more awake than usual. Hmph. Body, you need a better manner of communication. "Owch" and "Zzzzz" just aren't enough.



Thanx to newfound energy and a bit more focus, I'm working on my usual summer backlog at work, and finally remembered to order my plane tix for Dragoncon. And I'm making a more focused effort to find roommates, that involves me *writing down* interested parties and details in case my brain shuts down again.

But DCon in two+ months isn't enough for me, I wanna be geeking out nooooow. So I'm looking into geeky meetups in NYC. Looking For Group )

That's odd now that I think about it. My brain has a few extra spoons to work with, and its all RESEARCH CONS instead of WRITE SCRIPTS. Will mull this over. I still haven't had a moment to sit down and mull/meditate over the Sedonia stuff in the privacy of my own home, b/c things. Maybe I'll finally get that together tonite. And more thinking on whether or not I'll remain a hermit, but the lack of social offerings in NYC that don't start *after* my bedtime in far off boroughs may keep that a slow gradual process.

Lol, yesterday I had more spoons, but was teetering into a bad mood (b/c reasons), and suddenly remembered that I could text a local Village-centric friend to see if they wanted to hang out after work. And we did! And had Bareburger, on LaGuardia but I just made sure not to order a (cricket) salad with my burger. Good idea, considering the rest of the week will be rained out. And still got home after hanging out/dinner with more than enough time to fold excess laundry and get ready for bed. And falling asleep was a bit harder again due to "OMG AWAKE" but otherwise I slept OK.

And weird dreams happened )

This weekend is Dad's Day, and I was waiting for a verdict on that before making other plans. And the fam wants to come into Queens for Bareburger on Sunday, so I have time for more stuff aside from chores. That could be cutting fabric for the DCon costume, or more weird baking experiments, haven't decided yet. Oh, and some extra cleaning tasks that didn't work out last week for one reason or another.

I'm going to try limiting my sewing habit to 3 hours per weekend, and hopefully I'll get the B5 dress done by LDW without burning myself out. But that will include a mockup/muslin of the jacket part. Will see how this works out. There are some other light-costuming bits I'd like to finish from the project bin, but I'm not entirely sure I have places to wear them yet. *shrugs*

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (witch)
Its another long, slow Monday night at work full of coughing patrons. But after tonight, no more Monday nites until June, b/c I'm taking off for my b'day next week, and the week after is Memorial Day. And after that, its summer session, and hopefully most of the coughing patrons will be off and away. So ... one more night.

I really hope summer session helps me reset my system some more, and set up some new habits. Like working on photo/writing stuff while on the circ desk, getting a more regular sleep cycle for a few months, etc. Becoming less cranky about patrons in general. At least I hope its not *more* stressful, that may be the summer of 2014. There's a plan to replace all of the windows on our floor, which are all floor to ceiling and make up almost the whole outer wall of the library. Not sure if they'll shut us down for that this time, tho.


The weekend was ... adequate. Indian food is magical? )

And the plan is to do combined MomsDay/CrisDay stuff on this coming Saturday, since I'll have a four day weekend and hopefully not be too ded tired to enjoy myself outside like this weekend. Might get a couple of (light, folding) things for the balcony, its too bad I was in no state to work on that space this weekend. The rainy weather is actually great for that. Oh well.


I found a little sketch pad I was no longer using for ideas (b'c I don't really have many of those anymore) and am starting to use it as a food journal this week. If my brain really does need a less fibrous, more-complex-than-plain-sugar type of carbohydrate to function, I will figure out which one hurts the least. Am also working on eating less fresh fruit/veg to see if my tummy settles. Counter-intuitive for spring, but welcome to my life.


And this is our tarot forecast: Tarot pic! ) Hopefully good omens for creative work. And y'know, birthday. I will settle for being awake enough to remember to meditate and do some yoga.

Was going to try and organize some written script bits this evening, but just spaced out instead. *shrugs* I'm considering going on a blog-fast for a few weeks and reading through the collection of short story collections I keep at the office, b/c the blogs were just too distracting tonite. I think my brain needs more complexity in its input, and not just food-wise.

Still not balanced. Don't really have anything to balance *with* yet. But I'm feeling a tiny bit better than last week, so hopefully this is the start of good things.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
Not really sure what went wrong this week. I am crawling-on-the-floor-pls-take-me-home-DED today, although Tuesday was the worst in terms of almost actually falling asleep at work. Very little jewelry work got done, was too spaced out to focus on any photo work or Etsy uploads, despite last week's successes.

Theories are still that either I ate something I shouldn't have on Sunday night (despite careful considerations), or that after a few good nights of sleep my adrenals realized they didn't have to work so hard, and now I'm going thru adrenaline withdrawal. Which would actually be a good sign, but it still f'ing annoying. Or I burnt myself out doing some-of-the-things last week, which doesn't seem right.


Last night I was going to run a bunch of errands, but bailed after the most important first one, and then went home to collapse. Ate easy food, watched Secret of Moonacre (on Netflix instant- thin plot, but ADORABLE, with adorable costumes), and thought long and hard about my life/health while spacing out in the bathtub b/c I was too tired to meditate. B/c there's nothing like watching a sparkly children's movie to make one feel entirely stuck and banal.

Patterns, analysis, tarot )

I really just don't understand balance. I gorge, I horde, if something good is happening then I keep it going with it until I (or it) burn out. Planning ahead and saying no don't always work out. I have successfully given up caffeine, alcohol, and some unhealthy social groups over the course of my life. But its different when its a thing I don't like to begin with, or that actively hurts me. (Tho maybe I'm still badass for giving up the things that everybody else is still doing, b/c everybody else seems to be doing it?) Now everything is confusing b/c I'm too tired to do the things I actually want to do that are good for me. Which is oddly enough forcing me to not gorge or horde anymore. Its weird. But if I stopped being tired, would I just go back to gorging myself on life again?

How does balance work? Ppl with obsessive habits want to know. Would it make more sense if I wasn't brainfogged?


In other news, am looking forward to next week's long weekend, and also to the start of the summer semester, when most of the constantly coughing patrons will hopefully not be here to get on my nerves for three months. B/c ARGH. Cough drops, dumbasses, they work.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: BEADS!!!!!! (bead bunny)
Its been a week of ups and downs. For the most part, the downs seem to be caused by my monthly hormonal flux, which is annoying due to all the other progresses I've made. Nope, no matter what I eat or how I try to think, my hormones will still f#$% me up for a week each month. The hermitting can't fix all my problems, apparently :-P

I think what's going on is that the hormones demand chocolate sacrifices in the evening, and that's been making it hard to stick to my 9 hour bedtime. I've been getting 8 or less most nights, and on top of hormones the extra lack of sleep makes me feel icky again. It helps (the chocolate avoidance) when I have better leftovers available for dinner, but that didn't really work out last weekend. Will try to fix that for next week.


Despite this, there were accomplishments! During the work week no less! OMG!Accomplished iz me. )

So yay! Four new Etsy listings! If you're curious, look at them here on my Etsy shop cuz I'm too lazy to put them all up separately right nao. They're the ones in the row second to the top (or first four in listing-format) with the red backdrops. More later.

Facebook doesn't seem to want my friends to know I have Etsy listings and blog postings. I can't imagine that my friends are more excited about me posting a Gaiman quote than they are about me having the energy to actually get bizness stuff done. But it seems Fb's new party line is "Sure we can give you back your friends/fans, just give us $5 :-P" So f#$% that. Apparently my biz page got a small surge of hits in April... when I didn't post anything shiny on the interwebs at all. Sure, that makes sense.


Getting photo work done at work is getting mixed results from my brain. On one hand, hooray! Using ded space in my schedule where I'd otherwise be staring slack-jawed at the blogoshpere, for constructive things that might help my finances! On the other hand, like today, it was difficult for me to do *anything* constructive all day b/c I'm just feeling so fried. And overall, that's the big problem. I used to read on subways, most of the time I just can't focus. I can't remember to do yoga at home four mornings a week. I can think of sho many ways to utilize the time I have more efficiently... and then I forget. Or am too tired to do the thing. It is very cranky-making.


Since today is payday, and my b'day is coming up, I may order my self-gift from the interwebs tonight. Which will probably just be the BPAL oils, b/c I'm still not sure about ordering fancy chocolate online. Paleo-friendly chocolate, sure, but that means I could very easily consume all of it over the course of a weekend instead of saving it for my sloggy work days.

Will probably also order the walking shoes this month, but that's more a matter of need than want. OK, some want, but they make my feet feel less horrible so its mixed. Might order my Dcon plane tix too, since I have enough for it in my con-savings account, and the extra paycheck will kinda futz up my tracking this month anyway.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
The latest life-yuck has inspired me to be more focused in dealing with my fatigue problem, but at least now that it might be a sleep problem its easier to work on that one thing. If doctors don't actually know what is causing this brain wave abnormality, or what could make it stop, I have no reason *not* to experiment on myself with fewer side effects :-P

So this is me, trying to maximize my spoon savings, between doing things ahead of time on less active days (weekends), thus giving myself permission to not do *anything* at the end of active days (weekdays). And some hacks good for everyday. All ultimately geared towards making myself not too distracted or wound up to sleep at night, while keeping up with my daily survival.

Hack & Slash )

It also makes me sad to think that for me, more balance = less seeing of friends and fewer group activities. But maybe that's just the sacrifice I have to make for now, and if I manage to jumpstart my spoon supplies, and then my personal projects, my social life will be more sustainable. And at least I can still talk to friends via FB... when I remember to reply to their messages. *sigh*

Actually, its not like I see that many people very often anymore, its just that now I've decided to stop feeling guilty about it. Srsly friends, there are things about my daily life problems I haven't explained in public b/c I didn't realize how serious they might be. And when I did, I didn't want to freak ppl out. But even if they turn out to not be that serious, I'd still like them to stop, and I may have to miss some shows and/or parties to ensure that happens.

I will happily 'like' all the FB photos of your adventures, but I can't have any more adventures of my own until I fix this.


And I will probably be taking stock of if/how this is working out around my b'day, mid May. So 6ish weeks from now, seems good. If things aren't working *at all* by then, will have to re-hack.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (galadriel lembas mix)
So this weekend was even less productive, and even less satisfying than the previous. Was two-weekends-ago with all the binge cleaning just a fluke? Meh. I am exhausted today, and not sure how I'm gonna make it through the week. Meh!

Chores )

Teh healths )

As for work, today I've decided to be more resolute in focusing on the parts of my day-job that are actually quite nice for someone with CF. Mostly that it requires me to sit on my butt for hours at a time, and doesn't tax my brain with too many projects at once. Also we get really long lunch breaks here. Yay?

I've also put together another seed bead embroidery project, to add weight to another one of my jersey skirts. Its spring break, so there may be a lot of slow days on the circ desk, and some of my headaches seem eye-strain induced. So less computer time = good.

Fantastic Fiction @ KGB is Wednesday. Would like to go, but am worried about potential awkward at dinner. But the bar usually opens at 6, and I get off work at 5, so I'll probably try to eat my own dinner at the office and then hope nobody minds if I don't join the table-share at the restaurant. But I may also run out of steam by then and have to go home after the readings, so who knows.

Sunday I'm having an early Easter dinner with my family in NJ, b/c they're going away Easter weekend, but so far the plan is to just order from Outback Steakhouse. And, um, I don't know how good they are for my issues yet. But Ima try to bake my gf/df brownies to take with me this time, so I won't feel so bad about missing out on the traditional chocolate bunnies.

<3 Chrysilla

Today's Health Rating:

1-Horrible
2-Thud
3-Meh
4-OK
5-Yay?
6-Yay!
7-Old normal, YAY!

July 2017

S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16 171819202122
23242526272829
3031     

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Aug. 16th, 2017 09:51 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios