chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
Oh yikes, well that was certainly a lull.

Since we last saw our hero... much illness and some gaming, plus winter break. )

I think at this point I've had more sinus infections than I've made Things for 100Things. So I refuse to feel guilty about that, I can't just stop one of those nasty things from happening to me. I think? So that sadly did not work out. Not sure whether I should try it again, maybe make it 100-Things-By-My-Birthday. But I'm just not feeling the jewelry or the polymer clay these days, my brain is just too fried. Sewing is OK but for me is less creatively demanding. Maybe I'll just focus on finishing that sewing to-do list by my b'day.

Also trying to figure out resolution-type things, but the synergy of New Years causes those to fail across the board, so meh. Considered another cleanse/diet thingie, but then decided I'd rather use this year to make my life *easier* instead of more difficult. I've re-started my Superbetter game, and put the button on my various browser toolbars so I don't forget about it this time. It wouldn't hurt to try and get back to live-journaling every week too.

Strattera doesn't seem to be hurting me, but I can never get a level playing field to try it out on given all the extra illnesses last season. My body seems to have adjusted to it for the most part, I guess we'll just have to see what happens. *shrugs*

Would also like to focus more on fixing the sleep problems, so Ima talk to my psych about anti-anxiety meds that might help with my AWI (cuz I don't want to take clonopin every nite), and ask my new internist if he can point me towards someone who can custom mold me some earplugs (the spongey ones hurt for some reason :-/). It all comes down to being tired and fatigued all the time, whereas other symptoms come and go, so I'm putting my $$ on the sleep disorder.

One ongoing behavioral problem in the way is how much time I spend spacing out on the internet in the evenings after work. I wonder if I should push myself to do something either more active (sewing, cleaning, etc), or *completely* inactive (tv + couch). Internet browsing is this strange in-between space that is just active enough to keep me clicking the mouse button, but I don't really accomplish anything. Its not even entertaining enough to remember what I was looking at the next day. It causes me to lose track of time, and then I miss out on more sleep.

For now... )

So this week I feel gross, despite just having come off winter break, and I'm not planning any social stuff for the rest of the week or the weekend. I need to do the laundry, make the monthly grocery trip, finish an MES pc, and hem one dress for con, but otherwise Ima do as little as possible to save spoons for Arisia *next* weekend.

Still want to be more social in general, but it will have to wait until after con. The next con after that at best would be Dexcon, b/c monies. But I've been bad at getting myself to Dexcon, and I tend to be sickly in July, so if not then I can save that for more cons next year. Or skip Dexcon so I can use that $$ to refill my emergency savings instead (I have sucked at that plan so far, yeesh). And then definitely DCon, but I'm not sure if I can keep going to that one. It may be my last consecutive year, unless its remarkably better than the last two.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (galadriel lembas mix)
So... been a while. Oops. Moving on...

Winter break turned out to be very low key and sleepy for me. Hibernation )

Adventures in Noms )


And then I came back to work, and tried to give up chocolate. More mixed results... )

For all the food-work, I really don't seem any better in the tummy region. Doctor Stuff )

Far more exciting than medical procedures, Arisia is this weekend! And my friend and I are taking the train to Boston, so I don't have to starve myself or deal with travel sickness. From researching and asking questions on the forum, I've found that most of the hotels restaurants have gf options, so if I can just fit some brownies in my suitcase and find a CVS in town to pick up chips and tuna, I should be fine for noms all weekend.

Ima do my best to treat it as a vacation, and just relax, and do the things I wanna do. And wear pretty things and geek out. Or monopolize the bathtub b/c tired if I have to. But its a new con, so I'm trying not to get to invested in a certain sort of con experience, b/c ultimately I don't know what it is yet. But I'm not vending either, so already score one for me.


Not much else going on. Between germ fear and pre-con preparation (extra rest so far), I haven't gone out much since getting back to work last week. But I did set a Geekolution- Ima watch as much Classic Doctor Who as I can this year. Tho having added 100 DVDs to my Netflix queue, I realized that doing one a week won't finish the series. But if I *only* watch 50 I'm OK with that. And I'm going to try watching them in order, or as much in order as the supply will allow.

Not really setting any actual/normal NY resolutions. B/c anything I want to do is contingent on my health improving, which I've been working on all along anyway. Sitting on my comfy couch and watching DVDs every Saturday nite? That I can probably do, as long as I don't space out and forget to send my discs back.


I think I've decided to get back into sewing, but no more deadlines (except DCon, but that'll get done early). Tho I set out some projects to finish/fix this weekend, and ended up watching DVDs and vegging out instead. I don't consider that a fail. I just miss having some kind of project to work on, and quitting sewing didn't improve the volume of my writing at all. So I'll work on these crafty projects until (hopefully) my brains come back to me. Am also fine not pushing myself on projects right before a con vacation. Fabric can wait.


Also got some Twilight Alchemy Labs oils for ritual work last week. Sadly, it looks like STFU isn't actually helpful in quieting loud neighbors, but White Light is pretty and relaxing, and Radiance of Ra is pretty and energizing. In fact, they all smell really nice (even STFU), so it'll be hard reserving them for ritual use only. Cuz I've totally forgotten the giant box of BPAL (TAL is actually a sub-company of theirs) I already have. I'm silly. And now I need to reorganize my ritual oils box :-P May bring Ra with me for Arisia, in case I need a boost, along with my perfumes.


Less fun, last week served to remind me about how many of my friends are moving forwards with their lives, in a variety of ways and directions, and I'm still just ... stuck. Like I have been for 2.5 years, and 1.5 years of actively trying to dig my way out of zombie-mode. All the weird diets and lifestyle changes may look crazy and time consuming, but they're really all I have to feel like I haven't completely failed yet. So Ima keep on with those :-P

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
O wow, two weeks with no proper update. Tho I did use Dreamwidth to take notes on my tummy history, b/c I finally saw the new GI last week, yay! After losing her number and forgetting to call since late January. Dumb brainfog.

Not much happened the week before my friend's wedding (weekend after my last update) b/c I was busy prepping and overall being stressed about travel. But it ended up really nice :-) WeddingCon! )

Last week was ... mixed. Was high on wedding goodwill, but because of the skin irritation the rest of the week put kindof a damper on me. And I had to make a trip to Wallmart for Rich Ppl Whole Foods to get gluten free body lotion and shower stuff. But at least the SoHo location keeps that in its own little area away from most of the annoyingness.

Wednesday I took a half day off so I could finally see my GI, and she is very nice. Didn't dismiss my "oxalates" discovery out of hand, and wants to do the standard list of uncomfortable diagnostic tests. She was actually pleased that I already knew a lot of what she was talking about (other doctors have gotten annoyed with me about that in the past). So the first uncomfortable test is next Monday, before Thanksgiving, b/c I just want to get it over with.

As for oxalates, Adventures in Research )

After the GI I had a therapy session scheduled, but I had a big block of time and there was an urgent-care facility between the offices, so I got my skin problem checked out. Probably TMI ) My one concern now is that if this is/was viral, and I was just at a *wedding*, I REALLY hope it wasn't contagious :-/ But at least it was short lived. And it wasn't bedbugs, phew.


Thursday I still felt skin-yuck, but teh Pooka managed to get me out of the house for the evening with another new friend. Leading to a WTF? moment at Bareburger on Laguardia, where there was a string of mixups about whether or not my *salad* was actually gf. And the confusion started *after* I'd eaten some of if. In the end, they comped my certified GF salad b/c of all of the freaking-me-out that happened. Not as bad as the dead-grasshopper-salad incident, but still, wth Bareburger? And then we went to a nice cafe in the East Village, where the server was very kind about all my food issues. Ironically, feeding me gets *more* complicated in a vegan place b/c of my issues with dates, soy, and gluten. But overall a nice evening out :-)


This weekend started out OK, but kindof sputtered out. Forecast: BRAINFOG )

So today I'm still in zombie mode, but with a shiny new necklace at least. And somehow I made it to therapy on time which is not normal. Does not compute. I think the prednisone I was RX'ed is making me feel weird, but I want to finish out the bottle (Wednesday morning) to make sure the skin problem doesn't come back.

Its weird how I feel like I've come off a really rough week of something, and I really haven't. Its not even been a difficult Monday. Meh.


Realized I should start picking up Xmas gifts for teh fam while I'm having a fiscally responsible month with an extra payday. So that should be fun once I waketheFup. Tho it may be mostly gift certificates, b/c low spoons. If that changes right before Xmas I'ma feel like a jerk tho. Just trying to finish that necklace for *me* was a huge chore, I don't even want to think about making shinies for other ppl these days. Tho maybe that's the Rx talking again?

Also considering a BPAL order, but not a gigantic one. Maybe for Turkey Weekend. At first I thought it was stupidly crazy to type up my full collection into a .doc file, but it's actually been pretty useful for the last week. "That sounds nice, but do I have something similar already? Was that a note I didn't like?" Helped me whittle a list down to two items instead of six. Yaaaaay. I will take any excuse to feel clever these days.



Overall I think I've become steadily less stuff-oriented this year. Hail Discardia! )

I did manage to purge some old but pretty jewelry displays to give away (they just don't fit my style anymore), will photograph them for ppl to look at ... eventually. And I still have boxes of books and equipment to ship to friends who called dibs in *March*, so I really need to haul my butt to the post office. Ugh. My mail-scale still isn't working right, so maybe they'll be OK if I send them an invoice for s/h instead of checking with them first :-P


Last week I had new inklings for a puppet/video/youtube project but ... ugh. I really don't want new projects. I wanna finish the old projects. So am keeping this under my hat for now, tho I'll happily take notes in case I ever have that much energy again.

This week's tarot is very OMG BOOM DRAMA CHANGE OMG!See? )

Despite tarot forecast, I kinda just want to take it easy now. Tho that could still be the short-term Rx talking. I have my GI diagnostic next week, for which I'll have to spend the weekend in preparation (ugh), and then Turkey Day after that, and probably not much happening that weekend either. So there's still a part of my brain that's going 'OMG HAVE ALL THE FUN AND CREATIVE STUFF OR ELSE' but really... I just want to chill. I won't *know* anything new about my tummy until December anyway, so not interested in doing more dietary research.

I was hoping November would be a lot more productive in terms of projects and socializing after WeddingCon, but I couldn't help being sick, and now I want to get this medical stuff over with, so its being productive in its own way. I'm trying a controlled, temporary measure of "F#$% it, I give up" for a couple weeks until then. If I socialize or write stuff, awesome, if not then whatevs.


Unfortunately, I'm also starting to rethink my '2014 MOAR CONS' plan, Con = tired )

Now that I think of it, taking a couple of weeks off from actively trying to restart my life may be the change I actually need. Then I can start fixing things again if I feel better after that. But then if it takes me *this* long to recover from a trip to PA, maybe more cons isn't such a great idea afterall.

<3 Chrysilla

Today's Health Rating:

1-Horrible
2-Thud
3-Meh
4-OK
5-Yay?
6-Yay!
7-Old normal, YAY!

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