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chrysillaSo after two weekends ago, with its "CLEAN ALL THE THINGS!" and melatonin, I had a few more days of feeling more able to brain and then by Thursday it dribbled away again. But it was also TTotM by then, so hormones, and the weather took a cold/wet/icky downturn as well. Or my brain-evil has acclimated to the melatonin and now I'd need more. Too soon to tell. And the headaches come and go, tho I think they're better as long as I take my B12 supplements every day, but I think those were also worse than usual this time last year.
Last weekend I did a bunch of sewing, and the bare minimum of cooking (shelving some food experiments for later b/c I just couldn't deal), but probably just lazing around the house like normal would have been better. Oops. On the upside, two sewing projects that have been hanging above my machine leering at me are finally hemmed and buttoned and finished.
The dress I ordered fabric for a few weeks ago is almost finished, but ran out of steam and needed to complete my minimum-chores. Also found a simple pants pattern to use some fabric in, somehwhat costumey, but I cut it and haven't sewn it. Will try to finish those this weekend just to get 'em done. The pants *seem* straightforward, but they're a new pattern and I've been fooled before.
Ironically, before the sewing weekend I ordered some on-sale fabric from Joann's online for my 2 DCon costumes. And then that weekend realized "Wow, I really HATE sewing now." But fabric doesn't spoil, and as my body keeps fluctuating maybe it would be better if I made these costumes in June or July. So at least I cleared out some space in my stash drawer for ... more stash.
Although once I received my fabric in the mail, part of me immediately wanted to start playing with it. So maybe I didn't hate sewing that weekend, but was projecting? Ugh, either way I'd like to take it more-easy-less-crazy this weekend :-P There are some other normal-clothes type things I could work on from my stash, but I'd rather work on jewelry if I have the energy, and I have PLENTY of normal clothes now. Tho a couple things need to be tailored, that's far more easily done than pattern sewing.
But that Friday night I went to a friend's b'day party in Astoria, and stayed for two hours before I got cat-gested (I forgot to ask if she had pets) so that in itself is an achievement. I also made a circular batch of brownies and went to a Pi Day party this Thursday, so yay I'm outside. I'm hoping this is the start to me being *out* more often, especially as spring starts for real, but I think I had the same hopes last year and they didn't really pan out. But who knows.
Wednesday I went to see my acupuncturist, who did read the long convoluted email I sent her after my nerotin incident, and we talked more about my sleep problems. No more electric brain needles for me. There have long been similarities between my problems and those of a fibro patient, except for the obvious "But I'm not in any mysterious pains, all of my pains have obvious sources." But alpha-wave-intrusion is another common addition/symptom/sideeffect to fibro (which means I'm not at all surprised that nobody knows anything about it, argh), and my needler has treated many fibro patients, and as she explained often treats fibro as a sleep disorder, so I'm hopeful about future treatments. When I explained to her my bedtime-brain-speed-up-get-stuck pattern she also gave me a new herbal supplement that might help.
My needler also brought up, again, "Are you sure you don't have fibro?" She suggested I might just be ignoring most of the pain, but when I reminded her of the foot and tummy pains with obvious causes that I *don't* screen out we bailed on that idea again. But from her description, I started thinking about my anxiety problems. If my brain is too wound up to sleep, I wonder if it is a side effect of anxiety. And that I'm actually really anxious all of the time, but manage to screen *that* out, at least until a phobia gets triggered once in a while. So maybe screened/swallowed anxiety is causing this? I don't really have much to be anxious about anymore, but in an odd way having less stuff to do makes me more unhappy. Would still rather work on a brain-hack solution before trying meds again, but I feel like I'm finally filling in a new gap in the picture.
Started taking the herb pills Wednesday night, and that night was my normal "ITS BEDTIME I'M AWAKE NOW YAAAAAY!" pattern (also common to adrenal fatigue). But she's recommended starting by taking them three times a day to start, so after taking them all day yesterday by Thursday night I felt oddly more brain-ded than usual, and I think I fell asleep ... differently. Usually I let fictional things play in my head until I fall asleep, but sometimes my brain gets stuck at that speed and I don't drift off. This time my brain kinda just stayed on one lazy fantasy, but I don't think I drifted off any faster. But it wasn't like the nerotin where my brain wouldn't settle and was all loud.
Both nights I woke up somewhere in the middle and was able to get back to sleep, but I don't think that's a good thing considering my situation. It would happen once in a while anyway. Both mornings it was harder than usual to get out of bed, but whether that means non-refreshing sleep or deeper sleep, I can't really tell.
Still haven't emailed my sleep doc. Meh, maybe I'll remember tomorrow. I met someone new at the Pi Day party who's also had sleep disorder problems, and she also wrestled internally with needing sleep meds, and having to play Russian Roulette with her brain chemistry, and basically all the same things I'm conflicted about. But she stuck thru it and got better, so I have more hope for my situation. I'm not well, and while the journey might make me even less well, I'm certainly not getting any better sitting where I am. Also, yay again for new friends :-)
Last night I also didn't take my L-Theaninie and 5-HTP like I usually do. They are brain/mood type supplements, so I want to do a bit of research on them and see if they might be causing or exacerbating my sleep problems. And if I can take them during the day instead without falling asleep.
In other health news, I think I've *finally* finished my insurance/FMLA paperwork with my allergist for the next year. I think. Ye gods this company is a jerk. At least they got my second faxing, so I guess there is something wrong with my building's fax machine. My co-pays with them keep fluctuating tho, but their medical billing assistant is really nice, and if I'm going to their office 1-2 times per month anyway its easy enough to ask about the weird bills I get. Tho that also seems settled now.
I am reacting more strongly, and more quickly, to cat allergies these days. Last week's party I had my normal amount of allergy meds b/c I didn't know about the kitteh, and within two hours I was too congested to speak clearly and getting a bit wheezy. This week's party I had warning and took extra allegra, but still the same effect and time frame. But I don't remember reacting so quickly to my family's cat last Thanksgiving. Also, my typical reaction is more scratchy-post-nasal-area rather than congestion. Body, what gives now?
In non-health news, I've been rejected as a vendor for SPWF, so at least that's one expense I don't have to deal with, and one less episode of lugging a big heavy suitcase around NJ. I may still go as a private citizen, but the general disorganized craziness I've had to deal with from this event company makes me not want to give them any more of my money for a while. And they didn't get around to figuring out the vendor sitch until waaaay after ticket prices went up, which is crappy. Its not like we don't have a vibrant Steampunk community *in* NYC, although I'm too tired to hang out with them very often. I have a room reserved at the hotel already, but they didn't need a deposit, so I'm still mulling things over.
Its also my b'day weekend, so on one hand I could have my b'day party in the city instead, but on the other I HATE organizing my b'day party b/c 80% of my friends are super flaky. Including the ppl who promise to help me organize things and then wait until the last minute. I think my b'day may just be cursed. But it may be easier to go to a con of mostly-strangers and just wander around with a retinue going "Yay! Its my b'day!" and mooch off the con excitement.
Also, $$ not spent on this event means more $$ for DCon. But I was hoping to start attending more cons. Maybe I'll finally do Dexcon again? I hear it is more train accessible now, and if I'm not larping I won't have to pack a giant suitcase of costumes.
My weekend plans are all house-bound, except for maybe an early morning Costco trip (with a VERY short list, I think I'm getting the hang of that). Would like to try making lamb pasanda, finally, since CostCo has boneless leg of lamb on a semi-regular basis. And I miss it sho much. Will try to finish those two sewing projects, do the laundry (should have done it last week, but ran out of steam & time and now its a dire situation) and my other regular chores. Otherwise, much vegetating. There is free comedy stuff tonite (Friday) but I'm in a curling-up mood, and have run out of Chrysilla-friendly lunch boxes for the week.
Next week is the New York Whole Bead Show, and I took a half vacation day for Friday morning, so I can go when its less crazy and there's more stuff. I need to work out a budget for that this weekend. And more importantly, make a list of things I *don't* need to buy. Tho for good or bad, shopping for beads does make me want to use them more, so hopefully this will be a nice little jumpstart. Tho Wicked Faire sales went so badly that I still have plenty of stock for Twisted World in April, so I don't have to stress about it.
On the other hand ... part of me just wants to eat the cost and ditch my Twisted World plans. And just sleep that weekend, tho its several weeks away so who knows how I'll be feeling. Even though they actually seem to have their act together and have low table costs.
Dammit chronic fatigue :-/
<3 Chrysilla
Last weekend I did a bunch of sewing, and the bare minimum of cooking (shelving some food experiments for later b/c I just couldn't deal), but probably just lazing around the house like normal would have been better. Oops. On the upside, two sewing projects that have been hanging above my machine leering at me are finally hemmed and buttoned and finished.
The dress I ordered fabric for a few weeks ago is almost finished, but ran out of steam and needed to complete my minimum-chores. Also found a simple pants pattern to use some fabric in, somehwhat costumey, but I cut it and haven't sewn it. Will try to finish those this weekend just to get 'em done. The pants *seem* straightforward, but they're a new pattern and I've been fooled before.
Ironically, before the sewing weekend I ordered some on-sale fabric from Joann's online for my 2 DCon costumes. And then that weekend realized "Wow, I really HATE sewing now." But fabric doesn't spoil, and as my body keeps fluctuating maybe it would be better if I made these costumes in June or July. So at least I cleared out some space in my stash drawer for ... more stash.
Although once I received my fabric in the mail, part of me immediately wanted to start playing with it. So maybe I didn't hate sewing that weekend, but was projecting? Ugh, either way I'd like to take it more-easy-less-crazy this weekend :-P There are some other normal-clothes type things I could work on from my stash, but I'd rather work on jewelry if I have the energy, and I have PLENTY of normal clothes now. Tho a couple things need to be tailored, that's far more easily done than pattern sewing.
But that Friday night I went to a friend's b'day party in Astoria, and stayed for two hours before I got cat-gested (I forgot to ask if she had pets) so that in itself is an achievement. I also made a circular batch of brownies and went to a Pi Day party this Thursday, so yay I'm outside. I'm hoping this is the start to me being *out* more often, especially as spring starts for real, but I think I had the same hopes last year and they didn't really pan out. But who knows.
Wednesday I went to see my acupuncturist, who did read the long convoluted email I sent her after my nerotin incident, and we talked more about my sleep problems. No more electric brain needles for me. There have long been similarities between my problems and those of a fibro patient, except for the obvious "But I'm not in any mysterious pains, all of my pains have obvious sources." But alpha-wave-intrusion is another common addition/symptom/sideeffect to fibro (which means I'm not at all surprised that nobody knows anything about it, argh), and my needler has treated many fibro patients, and as she explained often treats fibro as a sleep disorder, so I'm hopeful about future treatments. When I explained to her my bedtime-brain-speed-up-get-stuck pattern she also gave me a new herbal supplement that might help.
My needler also brought up, again, "Are you sure you don't have fibro?" She suggested I might just be ignoring most of the pain, but when I reminded her of the foot and tummy pains with obvious causes that I *don't* screen out we bailed on that idea again. But from her description, I started thinking about my anxiety problems. If my brain is too wound up to sleep, I wonder if it is a side effect of anxiety. And that I'm actually really anxious all of the time, but manage to screen *that* out, at least until a phobia gets triggered once in a while. So maybe screened/swallowed anxiety is causing this? I don't really have much to be anxious about anymore, but in an odd way having less stuff to do makes me more unhappy. Would still rather work on a brain-hack solution before trying meds again, but I feel like I'm finally filling in a new gap in the picture.
Started taking the herb pills Wednesday night, and that night was my normal "ITS BEDTIME I'M AWAKE NOW YAAAAAY!" pattern (also common to adrenal fatigue). But she's recommended starting by taking them three times a day to start, so after taking them all day yesterday by Thursday night I felt oddly more brain-ded than usual, and I think I fell asleep ... differently. Usually I let fictional things play in my head until I fall asleep, but sometimes my brain gets stuck at that speed and I don't drift off. This time my brain kinda just stayed on one lazy fantasy, but I don't think I drifted off any faster. But it wasn't like the nerotin where my brain wouldn't settle and was all loud.
Both nights I woke up somewhere in the middle and was able to get back to sleep, but I don't think that's a good thing considering my situation. It would happen once in a while anyway. Both mornings it was harder than usual to get out of bed, but whether that means non-refreshing sleep or deeper sleep, I can't really tell.
Still haven't emailed my sleep doc. Meh, maybe I'll remember tomorrow. I met someone new at the Pi Day party who's also had sleep disorder problems, and she also wrestled internally with needing sleep meds, and having to play Russian Roulette with her brain chemistry, and basically all the same things I'm conflicted about. But she stuck thru it and got better, so I have more hope for my situation. I'm not well, and while the journey might make me even less well, I'm certainly not getting any better sitting where I am. Also, yay again for new friends :-)
Last night I also didn't take my L-Theaninie and 5-HTP like I usually do. They are brain/mood type supplements, so I want to do a bit of research on them and see if they might be causing or exacerbating my sleep problems. And if I can take them during the day instead without falling asleep.
In other health news, I think I've *finally* finished my insurance/FMLA paperwork with my allergist for the next year. I think. Ye gods this company is a jerk. At least they got my second faxing, so I guess there is something wrong with my building's fax machine. My co-pays with them keep fluctuating tho, but their medical billing assistant is really nice, and if I'm going to their office 1-2 times per month anyway its easy enough to ask about the weird bills I get. Tho that also seems settled now.
I am reacting more strongly, and more quickly, to cat allergies these days. Last week's party I had my normal amount of allergy meds b/c I didn't know about the kitteh, and within two hours I was too congested to speak clearly and getting a bit wheezy. This week's party I had warning and took extra allegra, but still the same effect and time frame. But I don't remember reacting so quickly to my family's cat last Thanksgiving. Also, my typical reaction is more scratchy-post-nasal-area rather than congestion. Body, what gives now?
In non-health news, I've been rejected as a vendor for SPWF, so at least that's one expense I don't have to deal with, and one less episode of lugging a big heavy suitcase around NJ. I may still go as a private citizen, but the general disorganized craziness I've had to deal with from this event company makes me not want to give them any more of my money for a while. And they didn't get around to figuring out the vendor sitch until waaaay after ticket prices went up, which is crappy. Its not like we don't have a vibrant Steampunk community *in* NYC, although I'm too tired to hang out with them very often. I have a room reserved at the hotel already, but they didn't need a deposit, so I'm still mulling things over.
Its also my b'day weekend, so on one hand I could have my b'day party in the city instead, but on the other I HATE organizing my b'day party b/c 80% of my friends are super flaky. Including the ppl who promise to help me organize things and then wait until the last minute. I think my b'day may just be cursed. But it may be easier to go to a con of mostly-strangers and just wander around with a retinue going "Yay! Its my b'day!" and mooch off the con excitement.
Also, $$ not spent on this event means more $$ for DCon. But I was hoping to start attending more cons. Maybe I'll finally do Dexcon again? I hear it is more train accessible now, and if I'm not larping I won't have to pack a giant suitcase of costumes.
My weekend plans are all house-bound, except for maybe an early morning Costco trip (with a VERY short list, I think I'm getting the hang of that). Would like to try making lamb pasanda, finally, since CostCo has boneless leg of lamb on a semi-regular basis. And I miss it sho much. Will try to finish those two sewing projects, do the laundry (should have done it last week, but ran out of steam & time and now its a dire situation) and my other regular chores. Otherwise, much vegetating. There is free comedy stuff tonite (Friday) but I'm in a curling-up mood, and have run out of Chrysilla-friendly lunch boxes for the week.
Next week is the New York Whole Bead Show, and I took a half vacation day for Friday morning, so I can go when its less crazy and there's more stuff. I need to work out a budget for that this weekend. And more importantly, make a list of things I *don't* need to buy. Tho for good or bad, shopping for beads does make me want to use them more, so hopefully this will be a nice little jumpstart. Tho Wicked Faire sales went so badly that I still have plenty of stock for Twisted World in April, so I don't have to stress about it.
On the other hand ... part of me just wants to eat the cost and ditch my Twisted World plans. And just sleep that weekend, tho its several weeks away so who knows how I'll be feeling. Even though they actually seem to have their act together and have low table costs.
Dammit chronic fatigue :-/
<3 Chrysilla
