chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
Was feeling mostly OK today, but now my brain seems torn about whether its awake or asleep. Meh.

Really, REALLY poor sleep for the last week. Attack of the heaters & alpha waves )


Really REALLY need to do some housecleaning soon. Upkeep )

At least being so uber-frustrated with my life again led me into a ton of rage-sewing, Finish projects, cut ties )

Will also have to pull out some jewelry supplies this weekend to make wedding gifts, but that shouldn't be so bad. Oh, and my own jewelry for wedding-con, which will be light since I made the whole friking costume myself. *sigh* I've also considered raiding my own stock bins for relevant shinies, cuz its not like anyone's purchased them yet.

Not feeling any pressing need to get back into jewelry right now, aside from this obligation. And now cutting sewing out of my daily life as well. Wondering if I need to add my writing project to the Samhain Sacrifice as well, but then what do I have left? And I am effectively cutting the other projects *for* this other thing. And its the only one that doesn't feel like an obligation now (yet?). I'm also very tired of going to gatherings and having only CF and gluten to talk about, eeek. At least once I get the writings together, it becomes a more social, communal art form after that. And hopefully I'll have the energy to keep up with it.

I guess I'm back to the plan/hope of building myself up to a point where the occasional setback (or SUMMER) doesn't completely paralyze me for weeks/months at a time. And at least writing requires less physical labor than the craft stuff, including wrangling and hauling and shopping for the craft stuff. Its nice having my desk cluttered with stuff that I don't feel guilty about ignoring, b/c its not jewelry supplies.

This week's tarot )

Keeping this week pretty wide open aside from the Witch-stuff on Thursday night. I thought there was also a goth party that night, but can't find it on FB now. Might be a post-Halloween Brooklyn outing on Saturday if I feel OK, might be a Wednesday nite movie if I can still get tix (spazzed out, so probably not). Tuesday Ima try to finish some crafty stuff if I can.

Still too warm to wear my now finished Doom Coat during the day. @#!$#^!#$!@$%~!!!!!!!!!! Will probably wear it to work on Wednesday anyway, to see how it will hold up for Thursday. Otherwise, pretty vintage cut dress + cat ears = enough Halloween for mees.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
Reading some newage-y stuff tonite, started thinking about the place/pattern of self-reinvention in my life thus far. And about how I tend to define myself by the projects I work on. Whether it was the jewelry business, or improv, or college for that matter. "I am teh Chrysilla, I do _____ things."

And about how I might commit and buckle down better to the new project I want to work on if I started making it the central part of my identity. So by becoming a writer/podcaster through and through, I'd actually get it together & completed.


On the other hand, I've been clutching on to my 'jewelry artisan' identity for a while now, and not really making any headway with it. Starting to wonder if that's less a CFS thing and more "I'm tired of this skin, next life phase pls." I do like it, when I remember to work on it, but like improv its just somehow not sustaining my interest or passion anymore.

May also have to resolutely put it on the back-burner for the time being to work on the new thing. Lock it all up, out of sight, so I can focus on new stuff. And lock away the guilt too. I could pick it up again later (sans guilt, of course), or maybe learn that it just doesn't suit my life anymore? Or maybe it didn't suit me to begin with (despite my knack for it) and its just taken me this long to figure that out? In which case, I don't regret the time I've spent, b/c I've learned other things from being a shinies-peddler than the craft itself.

Compared with the sewing, there are also a lot more steps involved that are not directly about making the shiny things themselves. Cataloging, pricing, photographing, etc. I wonder if the sewing is still attractive to me because it is just for me. I make the thing, its finished, the end. And its easier to work on in one hour sets, and easier to space out over months so I don't burn myself out, instead of making ALL THE THINGS as quickly as possible. Tho I've gone "ALL THE THINGS" mode on both jewelry and sewing in the past, somehow jewelry didn't convert after the epiphany of time management, yet?


But then again, the writing/podcasting project will include a lot of different steps to build up the stuff, which will then be intangible electronic data. Not sure if that will make the project more or less difficult for me. I have a friend who found that data-based work didn't work for him, tho he was good at it, b/c there was no tangible product at the end of his work day. However, the thought of having less tangible *stuff* is obviously attractive.

I dunno. I still feel this drive to at least try out the new artform (which is actually a reconnection with my old artforms of script writing & storytelling). Between the two, I'd rather give up jewelry (at least for now) and try the new thing. But that doesn't guarantee I'll even finish b/c fatigue. And if I do finish, no guarantee of "success" (however I define it) either.

And the podcasting may bring out some of my own traits that old friends haven't seen in a while, and new friends haven't seen yet. I will inevitably surprise some ppl, not sure if the results will be worth it, considering the path-of-less-resistance is a bit easier on the fatigued. At least on this project I can be selective on who I invite, audio-drama benefits from a smaller cast, unlike my experiences with larping or improv. I don't have to deal with tons of OOC drama to keep enough warm bodies in the room to play :-P


I guess this week's tarot kinda feeds into that. Sowing new seeds at the start of a long, new, exciting but probably slow-moving process. Strength is rather self-explanatory, tho Shadowscapes also notes the strength of flexibility. And then there's leaving behind an old situation that isn't working, to gain rest & perspective, and free oneself of dead weight.
Tarot Pic! Plus astro-bits. )

Maybe I just need a change to wake me up. The big change I'd really like to make is really not feasible given illness & finances. Tho in that case, could a lesser change (assuming success) lead to a bigger one?

These kinds of thoughts are usually more Samhain than Mabon, but I guess it doesn't hurt to get started early. May do some ritual-izing (everyone's in Scorpio, lol) to help me focus. "This is The Box of Things That Can Wait." :-)

<3 Chrysilla


ps, No I'm NOT giving away free jewelry supplies, will verbally dope-slap anyone who asks. Whenever I bring something like this up and that's the immediate response, the perpetrators sound like a bunch of vultures. If I were going to cash out, I'd actually *cash out* and resell everything on Etsy. Its not just hobby-fodder, its business materials bought and paid for as a long term investment.

And I'll leave the Etsy shop open, even if production is on the backburner, tho I might lapse on tweeting and blogging if that energy would be better applied elsewhere. Its not like dropping that ball will make a huge difference now :-P
chrysilla: BEADS!!!!!! (bead bunny)
My new health rating scale is still helping me keep things straight in my head, yay. 1-10 just didn't work, I'm too brain fogged to keep track of ten whole settings.



This weekend was ... varied. Successes and Fails )

Nutrition is confusing )

Decided to take just a couple days off for my b'day next month, on the Friday before and Monday after so I can a) get a 4 day weekend, and b) miss my two 'closing' nights which tend to be more annoying when its finals week. And that leaves plenty of time off for DCon, a 'pillow' in case of extended illness, and an extra week off for winter break.

Am less sure about going on a spending spree for my b'day. Might lose control. But April would have been more in the black if not for being late on my sales tax and missing that one therapy session, so assuming nothing like that happens in May I might be OK? Maybe I'll just do a BPAL run, and get myself those new/old walking shoes, tho was going to do the latter anyway.

Unsure about the fancy chocolate, given that I live in NYC, but I dislike the fancy grocery stores where one gets the fancy chocolate. And not sure if I want to go to Chocolate Haven, b/c its depressing to get plain (tho nummy) dark chocolate bars when there's a counter full of bonbons you can't eat (dairy, possible gluten intrusion). But if anyone has any recs on dairy/gluten-free fancy chocolate, feel free to comment.


I still think the hermitting is helping me get things together. Anxiety and Projects. )

This weekend got eaten by jewelry (tho that's not a bad thing) so maybe next weekend will be writing. Oh, except for one event. Darnit, next weekend then. Or maybe some weeknights if I'm lucky and don't lose track of my motor functions again.

Tho there are also a ton of cartoons I'd like to catch up on via Netflix. Whups :-)

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: Queen of the Cat People, class with a cult following. (Default)
So, full moon in Scorpio with a partial eclipse, no wonder I've been extra introspective this week. And getting somewhere with it, tho still at a snail's pace.

Figured I'd do a tarot reading to see where I was with things. Not without road bumps, but wow hermitting does seem to be a good idea right now.

And since I know ppl who are interested in such things, here's how my kind of tarot reading works:

Tarot analysis, wit big photos )

So yeah, Ima keep working on teh me, and things will be OK. Sorry in advance if I can't make it to your gigs/emergencies, but I'm just not up for it right now.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
I'm trying to figure out if this winter was my worst cf time so far, but it's hard to deduce due to two years of brainfog. General fussings of where am I, and what am I doing? )

Argh, too much thinking, on 9 hours of sleep that turned out to be not good enough.

Did have a weird dream last night, tho it wasn't that stressful. Chrysilla's adventures in Bordertown. )

So... lost in a new city (but not freaking out, I did know where I was), paying for my livelihood in my own body parts, food & money stress, writing in a book (that looks like my dayplanner) can help me find my way ... OK, those bits are helpful. But it would also have been nice to sleep properly. I have a notion to turn this into a short story (or audio drama, tho the legalities of producing a BT story might be tricky), titled "I'm not even supposed to be here today," with more snark and angst probably.


I felt like my writer demons were waking up again last night, so maybe I'll get to some actual writing work this weekend. However, the cooking demons also woke up and want to make tons of soup instead. Why ... I dunno, I get weird notions. There is actually less required cooking to worry about this weekend, but more laundry.

Also, since the writer demons seem to wake up the most when I'm in the shower, maybe that's where my muse lives/has been hiding. So I should probably clean the bathtub.


Last night I also finally repaired some broken necklaces, including the Eshu necklace, plus some upgrades to the pendant so it hangs properly. Was rewarded with surprisingly fast trains this morning. I went with repair b/c I finally had the FMG order, and I didn't feel awake enough to do new creative things, but I think it worked out in the end. Not sure how I feel about crimps and tiger tail, so I'll stick to other projects until I see how these new/old pieces wear out.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (galadriel lembas mix)
Hermit-ing is going OK so far. Been very prone to headaches this week, since Sunday night was nightmare-y, but they've lightened up as I've gotten 8-8.5 hours of sleep each night. Wednesday evening I stopped by my acupuncturist's personal practice to pick up more of the herbal pills that worked before, but last time it took a full day's dosage (you take 8 tiny pills 3 times a day) to become effective. Been too brain fogged to remember to meditate, which is typically annoying for this situation.

Been more drowsy in the evenings lately, but I'm not sure if that's my body's way of fixing its circadian rhythms, or the power of suggestion + fixation. I'm thinking about sleeping for lots of my day, so of course I feel sleepy all the time. But my brain has been going "Hello! I'm awake now! Revv revv revv!" right before bedtime again.


Also been getting more brain-blurts of dialog snippets for my scripts lately. Tho many at bedtime, which is part of why I'm not getting 9 hours every night. If taxes don't melt my brain this weekend, maybe I'll also remember to do some writing. Most of my work on this project has been in note form, in a notebook months ago, but more recently as lots of emails sent back to myself. Maybe instead of 'writing', editing those notes together would also be a good idea.

This week in non therapies and experiments )


I seem to have caught the spring cleaning bug again, b/c I have a whole list of kitchen + closet clearing/storing projects tucked into my dayplanner all of a sudden. Doing a closet 'audit' would probably be a good idea, a general reminder that I can stop wearing pants everyday once it gets warm enough for skirts and dresses again. And its getting kinda crowded in there, so will probably take some of my treasured costumes and put them into 'cold' storage, since I won't be going to any events where I can wear them for a while. I don't have the space or energy to host a clothes swap, and the last one I attended was unpleasant.

Typing of events, I'm trying to keep track of what cons *other* ppl are going to, and there seem to have been a lot of them since February. May start a general con-savings account for that, aside from the DCon one. Also might do Arisia next year instead of Wicked Faire (NOT as a vendor tho, eek, lugging giant suitcase to Boston = NO). Although I will probably do a price comparison between that and Anachrochon, b/c who wouldn't want to be several states further south during the middle of winter? And its the same neighborhood as DCon, so already familiar with the terrain. I hope ICON isn't gone forever, but I don't want to go back until they've beta tested whatever their new venue is. And I can't stand NYCC. Ironically it is *in* my home city, but more of a strain on me than DCon (where I can go upstairs and take a nap whenever I want).



I really, REALLY want all the coughing ppl at work to stop coughing. Its not even the germ fear talking anymore, the sound just gets on my nerves like nothing else. But the worst flu season in years seems to be overlapping with the normal allergy season, so no relief for mah nerves. Tho ppl on the subway seem to be coughing on me a bit less, so the trains are making me less cranky.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
Still alive. I think?

Wicked Faire was a lot of fun. Even though I was feeling pretty wiped out, despite surprise days off before hand, but it was easy enough to chill at my booth and let the con come to me. And the lower table price took a HUGE weight off my mind. And we had really nice neighbors, and really good traffic flow. I brought the puppet, which actually made salesmanship a lot easier for me. W00t!

It was a good reintroduction to sellin stuffs in person, and I'm looking forward to Steampunk World's Faire with my two friends' jewelry companies. We've been approved for hotel-room vending so all of my nefarious b'day plans are coming together. Yay!



Unfortunately, aside from that there were many weeks of badness for my brain. First there was the massive roach incident in January, but then a week before Wicked I had a FRIKING MOUSE in my home. On the 15th floor of a building that does not have hollow walls. Just... ARGH. The anxiety backlash of that was a lot worse than the roach, I had to stay over my friend's house overnight, it was pretty bad. And just as I was getting over the roach incident, so all of *those* feelings came back too.

The Monday before Wicked, a big water tank on the roof of my work-building broke and flooded the whole building. The library I work in is the second floor down, and is probably the only floor with extensive carpeting instead of linoleum, so we got some extra time off while people came in to repair the damage. It was still pretty wet and disheveled when we came back, and only this week things seem to be going back to normal. All of last week I had an obstacle course of extra displaced furniture between the door and my desk, that was not fun. Not to mention displaced books to look for, loud fans, and our new carpets getting pulled back up. Barely any books were damaged (about 20) so the worst part of this so far has been all our newly renovated stuff getting wrecked and thrown out. And the renovation wasn't fun for me in the first place. At least this work stress (supposedly) has a time limit?


So for the last few weeks, between the fun Wicked Faire, office stress, and the brain-cracking phobias, I've been really f'ing drained. Being at home is not relaxing when you're afraid to work in your kitchen, and looking nervously in all the dark corners every five minutes. It slowly sucked all the excitement out of upcoming SWF, ICON (oh F$%# I still need to buy my ticket), and other things. Last week I felt like I'd been thrown back into November as Little Miss Mononucleosis. Too tired to have a social life, frequent migraines, misery at my inability to do anything with my marvelous plans and schemes. I am sho frustrated, considering how much better I felt in early January, and how Wicked Faire turned out well.

Schemes Interrupted )

Last night I really fell into a pit of angst, about my lack of energy and my life going nowhere as a result. I resisted *most* of the miserably whiny FB updates I wanted to write. I decided "Fine. I give up. No more life or projects until I feel better, F.U. body!! *angstangstangst*"

And today I feel ... better. Not 100%, but better than yesterday and last week. Like I could go to the NYRSF reading tonight without collapsing. So... srsly? I have to have to out-drama my own body to get it to work right? *sigh*

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: Queen of the Cat People, class with a cult following. (queen's shiny)
Its been a mixed couple of weeks, to say the least.

Good and Bad Things )



This week is about buckling down to do the thing you've resolved to do. But really, all that I've resolved to do is be healthy again. So this week I'm going to keep taking it easy, not stress out about my upcoming vendor engagement. Get to bed on time again. However, that should be getting priority over script writing right now, but the potential podcast is the shiny new project, so ... argh. And I have trouble focusing on it while I'm on break at work.

Other things that need doing = cataloging and photographing teh latest craftwork, even if its just for my records rather than teh Etsy shop. I'm not doing any Etsy updates before Wicked, would be silly if I just sell the piece at the con anyway.

In long-term plans I'm also looking into setting up my own website for sales. Along side the Etsy shop until they shut down all the actual artisans, b/c Etsy seems to be on a downward spiral of lame now. And yet scammers can still sell designer knock off bags so long as they label them "vintage"? WTH?


But yay, its Imbolc this week. Ima light some candles and do some craft work, now that the house is already clean. Goddesses LUV craft work! And protecting their novitiates from giant bugs I hopes.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (witch)



Last week's writing prompt was Maps, and I was planning to attend a KGB reading, and go to a friend's party, and maybe an improv show. Unfortunately from Wednesday onwards I felt pretty ill. First a broken-heater-at-work induced case of the sniffles, and then my friend fooded me to death. Not with bad quality food, mind you, but with a 2000 calorie meal that was extremely high fat. Whups. We have since had the conversation of what a Chrys sized portion looks like.

My first thought on sacred spaces was, "What about my chantry? My home base?" but after many months of mono that decided to give up just as the NYC winter turned cold, it felt like a cheat. But while I was home sick, and really just every once in a while, I appreciate how much I've succeeded in turning a dorm-room shaped studio co-op into my own sacred space after three years of consistent work.

It still gets cluttered, and sometimes mundane items go wandering, but after years of celebrating a Discardian lifestyle it is waaaay cleaner than most of the geek-dens I have ever seen. Or non-geek dens, actually. And usually my artsy and/or ritual stuff is where it's s'posed to be. And as I discovered in 2011, an excellent place to recuperate. If I could just update the kitchen, things would (hopefully) be perfect.

And recently I realized that the middle window pane is just the right width for tea lights. W00t!

I spent Saturday night at home instead of going to a friend's Dragon-New-Years party, but I ended up typing up a complete radio episode draft. And it was the pilot (or at least that's the plan so far), so if I can start completing the first few eps of the run then I can send them to my volunteer proofreaders in a less confusing manner. So the Chantry is good for jewelry work *and* writing, hooray!


And here are some Chantry pics. Deb sez its like an urban Tumbleweed house, and I'm cool with that :-)


<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
There was a call for check ins on the mothership so I figured I'd update.

My only solid goal for this year was to be healthy, and at least energy wise I'm feeling a LOT better. Its like someone flipped a switch somewhere inside me on Jan 1st, and suddenly I can keep up with beading and writing projects again. Getting back on track with all of the projects I felt were worth skipping out on improv for ... six months ago. Better late than never.

One thing tho, my tummy still hates me and is torturing me with IBS. Despite being on a no wheat/soy/sugar/dairy/etc elimination diet. I don't get it. My dad hast GERD (I think?) so I'm wondering if the more-raw diet I'm on is actually messing with the PH levels in my stomach, which then sets everything afterwards into outrage. And I think its gotten worse since my energy levels increased. WTF tummy?

Oh well. As part of my Solstice celebration, I did tarot as per usual. And b/c I was home sick that day my questions were health related:

Tarot pic! )

Definitely a good looking omen :-) Rejuvenation, searching out mysteries, working on my own balance, opening the heart and mind again, and conunctio (tho in my case, most certainly not the sexy fun times sort).

A tarot card reader at a Samhain pagan party said my energy and health would return around the Solstice, and I would be able to come back out of my cave and get lots of creative projects going again. I was rather dismayed when I came down with a sinus infection right after the winter holidays, but then it turned completely around. So thanks tarot reader! A pair of readers at Wicked Faire 2011 warned that I'd be sick for about six months... guess I should have heeded that advice more, but I thought it meant allergy season which was also pretty rotten.

I'm not sure I really need to enchant for other goals right now. Would like to focus on healthfulness for a while longer, until the stomach problems dissolve (I hopes). And all my other projects are starting up and falling back into place just b/c I'm starting to feel better. Yay!

Lol, I have been to the city of Mono, and I have come out again :-) (Um, I hopes?)

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
Despite lingering stomach problems that refuse to get lost, I felt better than usual all of last week. Even when I was sick and tired, the feeling of "My body is a big lead, dead weight that needs to be dragged around," did not return.

Friday I left a third message at the doc's office, and she finally got back to me after her listed office hours. My thyroid is mostly normal, except for the T4 level with is at 11.9 instead of 11, but I certainly haven't felt hyper-thyroid-ish lately. So that's something to keep track of for the future. Definitely don't have HIV either, which was the false positive that came back with the previous blood tests, which I found out about the Friday before Xmas weekend. Just ... wtf medicine?

Then my doctor says "Oh, and the tests we did show that you have had mono... sometime in the past, but not right now. We can't pinpoint an exact time. But it shouldn't take someone six months to get over mono." Just like all my T levels should be as normal as my TSH levels? Yeah, sure.

Upon my Book of Faces inquiry, it turns out I have friends that did indeed need 6+ months to totally get over mono and get their groove back. With more similar stories from the interwebs, tho I'm not sure I'd count that as a reliable source. And I can't think of any other time in my life when I felt that way. Even after pneumonia in the summer of 2007, sure I was home resting and taking it easy after going back to work, but I was still getting stuff done at home and not living in a perpetual brain fog. More like this past week where I was beading and writing while sitting at home with stomach aches and sinus problems.

So unless this sudden energy surge f's off and leaves me stranded again, my working theory is that I had mono sometime in the spring or summer, coinciding with one of the massive sinus infections, and it took me until the next year to recover. Did I do something over winter break to finally jump start my system? While having *another* sinus infection at the same time? I dunno.

Am less sure about keeping up with the elimination diet indefinitely, tho. It may have helped me jumpstart, but now I feel much better and my tummy definitely does not. And... I just don't get it. So by *not* eating dairy my tummy is also cranky? WTF? Will give it to the end of January and see if it gets better. I guess.


In the meantime, I'm slowly trying to put my life and social-life back together. Looking forward to trying out Nerd NYC events this weekend and meeting new people (and hoping certain members of my larper lynch mob are not already there). I'm also working on a Steampunk costume ideas and will try one of their meetups at the end of the month. Will try to hit KGB Fantastic Fiction next Wednesday, tho not sure about staying for dinner.

Did go to Necromantic on Saturday, and spent a while working myself into full dance mode, but after an hour of not-all-heavy dancing I got too dizzy to keep going. Got a second glass of water and sat in front for a bit, it didn't go away, so I went home. I think I need to be more careful with exercise for the time being, I haven't been very active at all since summer-ish. Actually, maybe not since early spring-ish before the allergy season started. Whups.

I haven't had another good writing night since that Tuesday before I got sick again, but I'm getting bits and pieces typed out, or transcribed from my notebooks. Will see where it goes.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: BEADS!!!!!! (bead bunny)
According to some internet research, but not a doctor so far, my foot-owch symptoms point towards heel
spur and/or plantar fasciitis. Srsly universe? Is this really what I need right now? )

Icing up and elevating the sad foot definitely helps, and as of this weekend I own proper ice packs and insoles with better arch support, so I guess I'll just hope it goes away. Or I can get a pretty cane.

It actually didn't bother me that much at the Cloisters Medieval Faire this weekend, no more than the dull ache I usually have in my feet as of summer. Faires, Flies & Beadwork, Minus Improv )

As for sewing, I would still like to make that little velvet jacket if my foot stops torturing me. And make a muslin of it first so I don't frack up a bunch of nice velvet (50% off sale, but still). The pattern pieces have been cut since last Sunday, maybe I'll get to it this week.

Still not writing sitcom episodes. But am writing snippets of ideas and dialog in the small notebook. So the project isn't dead, I'm just having trouble with teh motivation.

Went over last month's finances yesterday, was not as bad as I expected after DragonCon. Am getting better at watching my spending on a weekly basis. This month there will be bead shopping, more carefully budgeted than usual, so NO fabric or pattern shopping, and only clothes shopping if I desperately need pants or orthopedic shoes. If I can motivate myself to get in the habit of pimping my Etsy shop on Twitter I may be able to score some extra income too. Yay.

This week, my plan is mostly to stay home. Either icing my feet, beading, or both. Cooking tonight would be nice b/c it means saving $$ on lunch tomorrow. I hope the fly invasion ends soon, tho.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (bb accounts)
So, DragonCon happened. Read more... )

DCon actually helped me focus on and prioritize what I want to be doing with my non-job time for the next few months. I don't know if that's weird, but its me, so Ima go with it.

First tier priorities:

-Jewelry, and getting the biz back on its feet.

-Writing the damn radio scripts.

-Tai chi classes, so maybe I'll stop feeling so yucky all the time.


Lesser tier priorities:

-Sewing!

-Watching teh improv.

-Socializing with my nerdkine (readings, DoV, Anachronism, picnics, etc).

-Puppeteering, but I'm still having a hard time figuring out *where* to do that, so it may be at the bottom of the list for a while. But I really miss it.

I wonder how good Dusk would be at selling jewelry?


Not sure where sorcery falls into this list. Its more a way-of-life than a priority, anyway.

Where's teh improv? )


Now if I could just get healthy enough to do this stuff, dammit. I'm ready for it to stop being 'summer break' now, and have watched quite enough Star Trek for a few weeks.

Started taking flaxseed oil pills for the omega 3s I might be missing, and iron to see if it helps. In addition to a half dose multivitamin and D pills that I already take (mostly) daily. Food is just too confusing in terms of nutrition, I would rather hedge my bets with supplements and see if I feel better. Feeling better is really my main overarching goal right now.

A martial arts group in SoHo has a Tai Chi beginners class on Thursdays, but this week I'm still feeling a bit sniffly, and I'm going to see Bill Bailey in concert tomorrow (YAAAAY!!!) so that's for next Thursday. Yay for water bending class ;-)

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (will thelemic)
According to my calendar, I've only been on my summer 'break' for two weeks. Feels like longer. I think the isolation is starting to get to me, but I'm still tired and somewhat weird-feeling about large groups of people or crowded places. Add seeing people crow about achievements on the usual online networking pages, plus TTotM, and I'm getting some really wacky mood swings.

Monday I tried to take my day off to relax and shop for fabric, but I forgot that for me shopping is not typically relaxing. Do I have a problem yet? )

Am liking sewing a lot more than knitting. Its faster to see "These pieces are being assembled into a vest." than "This ball will eventually be a scarf, which will be fluffy and bulky and scratchy and leave fibers in your nose." Tried the knitting, no dis to anyone who likes it, but it really was not for me. Also, fabric stores easier so far. However, murder on my back muscles b/c I don't have a good table for fabric cutting.

Is it ironic that I have no idea what to do for Halloween now that I am learning how to sew? I'm stuck in nerd-elitist mode, "I could make a Delenn costume, but nobody would get it." Or I could make the 50s prom dress, add cat ears and fangs, and call it a day.


Mulling over what I miss doing, in the midst of many people on FB gleeing "OMG look what I did!" I miss making jewelry (making stuff in general), writing my scripts, doing a martial arts (style) physical thing, dressing up on a regular basis, and performing. The first three are things I can get together on my own assuming I have the time and energy. There are events to dress up for that some of my friends attend at least semi regularly. The performing may be the trickiest, as it involves the efforts of other people for extended time periods.

Still in the "Ideas not decisions" phase tho.

It seems that I know who I am, but not what I want. *more musing* Don't get me started on "Whom do you serve and trust," eeek.


The Anachronism is this weekend, it is an event in Manhattan rather than Bklyn, and I have a hankering to play dress up, so I will make more of an effort to go this time. Assuming I don't have a sudden relapse of agoraphobia and lose all my saved hit points. I can wear my kimono! Or the long black bell sleeved dress that came too late for Wicked Faire. Been reading some gothy makeup blogs and got my new batch of contact lenses, so more to play with for Sunday. And I have next Monday off again for recuperating afterwards. DragonCon pregame?


Otherwise I will probably spend the weekend moving more stuff around in the Chantry, figuring out how to get a shelf in the extra closet, and sewing stuff. And continuing to catch up on TNG, I'm at the end of S4, tho I just heard that Riker's awesome declines after season 4. *woe*

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
Aside from practice on Wednesday, I've done pretty well not doing much of anything.

So why do I still feel stressed out?

I'm not sure if it's the other improv class coming up next weekend, which isn't a big deal, or if I'm just not recovered from feeling stressed out from February to April this year. Or if it's a WTF type brain reaction that will pass eventually.


Something I saw on an art blog today resonated with this, There's more to life than just wasting it. I've noticed that I'm usually happiest to be making and doing stuff, but sometimes that turns into a guilt-monster over not doing what I perceive to be *enough* stuff. Then I overbook myself and crash. It may be why I'm sho burnt out.

And now that I'm dedicating my time to relaxing, I have 'life is passing me by' anxiety. OMG brain, shut UP! You were too tired to do anything in the first place, that's why we're on vacation!

Culling the lifestyle )

Tonight I do need to do the laundry, at least if I want to wear the top I sewed for the other seamstresses in my life to see. I doubt I'll finish the vest tonite, but that is coming together faster than the blouse did. Fabric is much less slippery, and it is the *second* pattern project.

<3 Chrysilla

Today's Health Rating:

1-Horrible
2-Thud
3-Meh
4-OK
5-Yay?
6-Yay!
7-Old normal, YAY!

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