chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
Recently, ran my CtD/KND tabletop game for the first time in month, yay! Read more... ) And Sunday I didn't crash out at all! I was a bit brain-scattered and foggy as per usual, but I got chores done and started a couple new embroidery projects, w00t. Last time I ran game was February (I think?) and the day after was a terrible crash (I blame EBV). Another sign that things might be turning around :-)


Overall, energy levels have been very unpredictable. Health Stuff )

The ongoing, overall plan for summer is that if I can't do the creative work I really want (outside of embroidery on the circ desk in the summmer-slow library), I'm going to try and get out more and socialize, b/c that's how Extroverts recharge their spoons. Also, having a pile of recent memories where I'm out with friends having fun would be nice to help stave off darker moments of moping. A new deity has recently popped up in my life that seem to want to help with that, and she's there in a guardian aspect as well, so I think this will come together. If this all helps me pop back into writing sooner, great, but otherwise I need to be OK with waiting for fall.

Tho there's not really a lot of specific social events going on this week, which is a bummer. And I'm a bit strapped for cash again (still working on taming my grocery spending, wth). Wish I hadn't been too sick/recovering to go out last week, tho saving my spoons for game was definitely the best idea. There's a few things I could go see in a pinch, like improv or a movie or blues dancing, tho cash flow is still an issue. I may just stay in and watch tv while working on costume-alterations/fixes for the upcoming cons. Would also like to attempt the Stitch puppet this week/end. Eeek. I has worries.

Then this weekend the 'rents are coming in for brunch sometime, and there's some "nerdswap" events I'm curious about, but I don't really want more stuff. Tho you never know, I might find items I can shellack and put in the garden, etc. I'll see what random items I have that I haven't purged yet, mebbe go thru my bookshelf.

Might bug my local friend to borrow his GoT dvds, b/c I think its just time to finally watch that. Still worried about wanting to make all-teh-costumes, but what I'm *hoping* is that there will be costumes that help with stash busting. And at this point I think my willpower (or disgust) is strong enough that any temptations outside of the stash can be pinned until next year.

I also started watching two new-to-me shows the other week (gasp) which is actually a big deal for me. Supernatural and Black Sails. There is a level of fatigue where you're too tired to watch new TV shows, so def another good sign. This is what I point to when ppl say "maybe you're just getting old-tired" b/c being unable to watch tv or read a book is definitely not just "getting old" :-P

<3 Chrysilla

PS, going to try and post more in my Dreamwidth. B/c some meanderings are just too long for fb, y'know? Which is how this got here in the first place.
chrysilla: (will thelemic)
Having another very brain-foggy Monday. Not sure if this is due to a post-Halloween sugar crash, a weekend cleaning binge, or the DST time traveling yesterday. Or if its just a normal Monday. *shrugs*

Today I impulse-bought a pendant from a friend's jewelry shop called "Saturn Return". I had not realized that amethyst and fluorite were Saturnine stones. (And luckily, there was room in the budget for it :-P) This helped motivate me to look more into Saturn-focused sorcery, which I've been drifting into b/c of the greatest caveat of magic: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Illness and fatigue are also very Saturnine themes. So I'm looking into the more proactive aspects of that planetary/deity aspect to see if there's something I'm missing. And one of the proactive bits: Following a restrictive diet. The archetype has clearly embraced me, so maybe I should make sure I'm not fighting it and making myself more tired. And obviously it started in the later half of my Saturn Return, although it didn't end when the transit did.

Saturn, rings & things )

Yeah... I think I could get behind a more Saturnine disposition. I'd actually been thinking about it before, but not in terms of this archetype which makes it so much clearer. Even before the gamer-mob, I tended towards the path of least resistance b/c it seemed easier. And continued, b/c it meant spending less energy once I turned spoonie. Now I know the value of planning in advance towards spoon-saving later on. "I don't actually need to readdress this. It was already in the contract. Here it is to read again."

Now, I wonder at how ppl will react to my laying down the law early to avoid drama later on. I'm not really worried about it, b/c the people who know me know what I've been through, and I think the people whom I want to work with in the future would respect me and mah shiny new boundaries. But I'm still curious about what happens next. The world outside is often unkind to lady lawgivers.

Overall, I've seen that socializing does increase my energy (esp now that my makeup isn't secretly poisoning me). Not sure if *responsibility* for projects and other ppl will have the same effect tho. TruGeek was kindof a let down in that department, but then that wasn't a very structured project. Even my co-show-runner almost flaked two out of three events, but our DJ was always reliable, so give it 50/50? And my podcasting project won't require me to lug heavy things and lure an unreliable group of costumed people to a yuppie nightclub once a month. This is much more low-key.


The Saturn studies coincide today with articles about "omg occult is sho popular again!" Um... it never really stops being popular, but OK. Its making me wonder if I should try again to get into professional tarot reading. Tho I'd be a Saturnine fortune teller. Not "Here's what you want to hear in a floofily mysteirous tone" but "Hello I am your pseudo spiritual life coach *SMACK*". Everyone likes edgy now, right? Meh.


In other news, last week was pretty mixed. Samhain and Cleaning Frenzy )

Unfortunately, I did not remember that next weekend I won't *be* home, so I'll have to get ahead of my weekly chores this week after work. Including setting up my food situation for the weekend trip itself. At least the house is clean?

I haven't seen many interesting social offerings on my calendar yet, so I should be fine taking the week to myself, and then socializing like crazy at my friend's wedding this Sunday. I hope. They've been wonderful about having gluten free options, so hopefully that all works out for me. And I finally remembered to cancel the extra hotel reservation tonite, go me.

Also, during the weekend's cleaning/filing frenzy I FINALLY found the GI referral. Will call tomorrow and set up an appointment.

During the weekend I kept eating the chocolates I'd picked up, which were actually not dairy free. And I kept forgetting to take a lactase pill after, but I did eventually. Today I didn't take one at all, and when I remembered I had a bit of a tummy twinge, but otherwise not explosions. So either my lactose intolerance is less intolerant, or there wasn't much dairy in those candies to begin with. Either way, more questions about my insides, I hope this new doc is ready for the onslaught.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (clothes)
Thursday was really nice. Went out for dinner & tarot with a friend, chatted and gossiped all night, and had nice quiet fun. The train rides home were awful (slow *and* un-airconditioned), and my a/c unit at home wasn't quickly fixing the heat problem.

And then I looked up to make sure a rustling noise I'd heard was just a fallen piece of plastic or something, and saw that it actually was a mouse. Cue Uber-Panic )

Fast bounce-back from anxiety attack, less freaked out by phobias.
+5 Sanity
+2 Spoons
+5 Cleanliness


Saturday I still felt pretty hung over (but no more than usual for a weekend), so I lazed around for a bit and eventually went thru a 'fun' chore while watching Buffy dvds. Chores, sewing, and a variety of bonus scores. )

Actually, here is a photo collage of the process of making the Delenn jacket/skirt costume on my Tumblr b/c photo-blogging is easier that way. And some bits about things I did/fixed and the pattern number.


As for this week's tarot forecast (tumblr) it looks like being towards the end of my budget limits may drive me a bit nutz this week. I do want some things for pest control reasons, and in that case going $30 over won't be the end of the world. In the future, maybe I want to *only* aim on spending 2/3 of my extras budget, so I have that extra cash in case of 'emergency' stuff like this.

Moar Costuming! )

But I must say, all the SDCC footage and online responses have severely whetted my appetite for DragonCon. I'm torn between wishing it were this week, and being glad its not b/c I have costume stuff to finish ;-) And I REALLY want to do more than one con next year.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (bb accounts)
Feeling pretty low energy today, but I haven't slept enough the last couple nights, so *shrugs*. Also still headachey, but I'm not sure if its weather, allergies, extra sugar on the weekends, delayed pms, or wha. Maybe its a combo deal. I can stop buying meringue cookies on the weekends (am already doing better with less chocolate intake) but there's not really any way to fix the other things.

Most of my mind/body is all "Ugh, can we go back to bed now?" But some part of it keeps playing high energy goth club music over and over in my brain, so its kinda uncomfortable and confusing.

Also realized that I haven't been tracking my energy levels on weekends, so should work on that. But I am still getting extra things done around the house, so that's nice.

Accomplishments! )

Wondered this weekend if all the house work is a distraction from my creative stuff, a way to fill the void in my life b/c I just don't feel creative, a procrastination technique towards same, or what. In the end, I don't think having a cleaner home will hurt me, so might as well keep working on it.



The junk mail shredding is part of why I was up until 2am on Sunday, instead of 11-12ish as planned. I had to keep waiting for the dumb shredder to wake back up every 10-15 mins. And suddenly it was quite late. Argh. Zombie mode pwns Sedonia, whups. ) Being less emotionally f'ed up overall will definitely add to one's overall spoon supply, and may help a lot with stress-related illnesses not happening so much, but its not an instant fix. And we still all have bad days.


Was going to rethink hermitting this week, when last week went haywire, but I can't really think right now. I'm going to acupuncture tonite, but I'm not sure if I want to go out or stay in for the rest of the week. And 'Can't Stop the Serenity' is Saturday, and was tempting, until I rememberd "O ya, gluten. Meh." So probly not.

This weekend I'm going to try to either make two loaves of banana bread, or one banana and one carrot (experiments, yay?) so I have more easy-to-transport snacky things during the week. So if I feel up to hanging out in the park after work, I don't have to go forage for noms first. Would also like to try the home projects that didn't work out last weekend, including a trip to Home Depot for some stuff.

I got my new boots today, yay! So that is some more incentive to be out of the house tomorrow. Tried them on at work, but I'm wearing the wrong socks and outfit for the new sexxyboots, so will start breaking them in tomorrow.


Also, after defeating the junk mail monster, I'd like to start unloading my big basket of books at the Strand again. Since I kinda forgot that project for ... three months? *sigh* More going outside, was bound to happen eventually. I also need to mail an internet friend all the DW books he claimed in my Discardia photo drive, and deal with all the leftover bottles of alcohol. Those will probably end up in the garbage, b/c ppl don't remember to visit me that often. But we'll see.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (witch)
Its another long, slow Monday night at work full of coughing patrons. But after tonight, no more Monday nites until June, b/c I'm taking off for my b'day next week, and the week after is Memorial Day. And after that, its summer session, and hopefully most of the coughing patrons will be off and away. So ... one more night.

I really hope summer session helps me reset my system some more, and set up some new habits. Like working on photo/writing stuff while on the circ desk, getting a more regular sleep cycle for a few months, etc. Becoming less cranky about patrons in general. At least I hope its not *more* stressful, that may be the summer of 2014. There's a plan to replace all of the windows on our floor, which are all floor to ceiling and make up almost the whole outer wall of the library. Not sure if they'll shut us down for that this time, tho.


The weekend was ... adequate. Indian food is magical? )

And the plan is to do combined MomsDay/CrisDay stuff on this coming Saturday, since I'll have a four day weekend and hopefully not be too ded tired to enjoy myself outside like this weekend. Might get a couple of (light, folding) things for the balcony, its too bad I was in no state to work on that space this weekend. The rainy weather is actually great for that. Oh well.


I found a little sketch pad I was no longer using for ideas (b'c I don't really have many of those anymore) and am starting to use it as a food journal this week. If my brain really does need a less fibrous, more-complex-than-plain-sugar type of carbohydrate to function, I will figure out which one hurts the least. Am also working on eating less fresh fruit/veg to see if my tummy settles. Counter-intuitive for spring, but welcome to my life.


And this is our tarot forecast: Tarot pic! ) Hopefully good omens for creative work. And y'know, birthday. I will settle for being awake enough to remember to meditate and do some yoga.

Was going to try and organize some written script bits this evening, but just spaced out instead. *shrugs* I'm considering going on a blog-fast for a few weeks and reading through the collection of short story collections I keep at the office, b/c the blogs were just too distracting tonite. I think my brain needs more complexity in its input, and not just food-wise.

Still not balanced. Don't really have anything to balance *with* yet. But I'm feeling a tiny bit better than last week, so hopefully this is the start of good things.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: BEADS!!!!!! (bead bunny)
My new health rating scale is still helping me keep things straight in my head, yay. 1-10 just didn't work, I'm too brain fogged to keep track of ten whole settings.



This weekend was ... varied. Successes and Fails )

Nutrition is confusing )

Decided to take just a couple days off for my b'day next month, on the Friday before and Monday after so I can a) get a 4 day weekend, and b) miss my two 'closing' nights which tend to be more annoying when its finals week. And that leaves plenty of time off for DCon, a 'pillow' in case of extended illness, and an extra week off for winter break.

Am less sure about going on a spending spree for my b'day. Might lose control. But April would have been more in the black if not for being late on my sales tax and missing that one therapy session, so assuming nothing like that happens in May I might be OK? Maybe I'll just do a BPAL run, and get myself those new/old walking shoes, tho was going to do the latter anyway.

Unsure about the fancy chocolate, given that I live in NYC, but I dislike the fancy grocery stores where one gets the fancy chocolate. And not sure if I want to go to Chocolate Haven, b/c its depressing to get plain (tho nummy) dark chocolate bars when there's a counter full of bonbons you can't eat (dairy, possible gluten intrusion). But if anyone has any recs on dairy/gluten-free fancy chocolate, feel free to comment.


I still think the hermitting is helping me get things together. Anxiety and Projects. )

This weekend got eaten by jewelry (tho that's not a bad thing) so maybe next weekend will be writing. Oh, except for one event. Darnit, next weekend then. Or maybe some weeknights if I'm lucky and don't lose track of my motor functions again.

Tho there are also a ton of cartoons I'd like to catch up on via Netflix. Whups :-)

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
I think this is the beginning of Hardcore Hermitting Week Four, and ... I almost am starting to feel better?

Its difficult to gauge, I think I'd be feeling better if I hadn't been sick last weekend. And between illness and world-wide news last week, I was pretty ready to go home Friday night and stay in my chantry until the world's proper end. But my neighbor-friend tempted me two blocks away to his house with grass fed beef shin and properly cooked bone marrow, and probably some plant matter that I don't remember. My stomach couldn't get thru all of it, but I think I ate most and didn't explode, so yay for that.

He also got me started on Hemlock Grove, for better or worse. Its VERY Twin Peaks like, to the point where I think they played a remix of the theme music during the school-dance scene in episode 2. It has the same weird ungainly mix of pacing, where some bits are just so f'ing boring and pointless, and other parts you need to rewind and turn on the subtitles to figure out what just happened. A lot more graphic than TP, with much better special effects, and more teenage drama thrown in. Also, lots of characters vomiting, I guess that's supposed to make it more edgy. *shrugs* Got a bit more than halfway through this weekend, will probably finish it next weekend.


Things happened other than tv this weekend. Accomplishments )

Sadly, no creative beading/writing work got done this weekend. But I half expected that due to being sick last week. I did dream of packing up lots of beads and jewelry supplies Saturday nite, tho, to take with me somewhere or other. Don't remember any other details. I did re-pack a bunch of the new materials into my traveling bead kit for this week. Yay new necklaces in strange new color combos. Maybe someday I'll remember to photograph the pile of pieces I've already completed.


This week's focus is to read the books I already have on treating anxiety problems. New Brain-Hacking )

This week's tarot reading looks dramatic but hopeful: Tarot! )

Also mulling over b'day plans. Maybe go for dinner with ppl in a Chrys-safe restaurant, and then go to see the new Star Trek movie? But this would be 5/18, and I'm not sure which of my friends will not have already seen it by Saturday.

Beltane is coming up, and I just don't give a f#$%. Another reminder to change the salt-bowl. Tho I'm tempted to make this year's prayer something along the lines of "No, F#$% YOU universe!!" *sigh* Its a 'school' nite anyway. Some friends' b'days are the following weekend, fun but I'll probably only be able to do one.

But here I am, and I will keep on keepin' on for another week. I actually feel kinda impatient right now, like I'd rather be at home doing creative stuff than here at work. Tho if I *were* suddenly home, that's no guarantee that I'd actually do anything. Still pretty brain fogged, so who knows.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
Things were going pretty well. Saturday I went out with the parents for mom's b'day, and Bareburger did well for them. I got home and did the cooking chores while catching up on some podcasts. Failed at lamb again, but now its just dry but still edible, and not the ridiculous sauce monstrosity I ended up with last time.

And I made more shiny things! Finished the second necklace from Thursday, and made two pairs of earrings, including one pair for me (to alleviate current necklace fears).

Then, my stomach decided to turn evil. No icky details, just my typical fretting & overthinking. )

Am all caught up on The Borgias (just started) and Lost Girl (just ended). Borgias seemed kinda overly tense and paranoid, not as enjoyable as previous seasons, but its early yet. Was kinda disappointed by this season of LG. Or rather, what felt like a half season. But not like a season cut in half, more like they tried to condense 22 episodes into 13, so they left a lot of details out. Also finished Trial of a Timelord, and watched a lot of interviews in the box set, which didn't do much for my nerves sadly. They started out nice, but eventually it was all production people whining about the 80s era. And I finally finished S1 of Leverage, so may pick up S2 for my b'day next month.

Things less fun than tv )

Would like to do some jewelry photos this weekend, but with the laundry rack up (and there will probably be wet laundry hanging up in every possible corner of the chantry as well) there probably won't be room. And I'd rather do lots of chores on Saturday and slack off Sunday.

Or I could continue *making* more shiny stuff, and try photographing it next weekend. I finally have the extra bits I need to make new pieces out of my old Trinkets stash, and more earring hooks (tho next time I'll order more than 5 pairs). They're less likely to earn me $$ while not photographed and online, but I'm just glad to be making things again.

Tho thanx to this week's overt illness, I may just need the weekend for more sleeps. Ugh, just when I was getting a handle on things again, can't win :-/

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (witch)
So sleeps are making me sad. But I have still accomplished things in the last week! I think. Its actually a bit hazy right now.

Accomplishments )

Weekend plans, at home as usual. )


And I watched 3/4 of Trial of a Timelord so far, maybe I'll finish that this weekend :-) Last week I was watching/listeningto more DS9, since if I have chronic cf I may as well finish watching all the tv series that I can. *shrugs*

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (ravenclaw)
I have a Diaspora account now. There doesn't seem to be any limit to invites I can send, so if you want one just ask :-)

Thoughts so far ... Pros & Cons )

I'm also on Dreamwidth now, obviously, which is the Diaspora of LJ. And I like it so far. Almost the same interface, same tags, and easy crossposting options b/c not so many people are on it. Not that many people read LJ anymore, *shrugs*.



The only new media I'm consuming these days is True Blood, which [profile] arcane_the_sage is showing me. Possible spoilers, pls don't spoil me further. )


I also keep watching The Borgias over and over again, and I think I've figured out some of the reasons why. Tudors vs. Borgias, with spoilers. )

In related news, I've found this season of Doctor Who to be very unsatisfying. For reasons many of my LJ friends have expounded on already. Can someone else take the show over from Moffat pls? Or at least stop him from writing plot and dialog for the female characters? *cringe*


Finally started watching Star Trek TNG in earnest via Netflix, but it's kinda boring. I prefer the plot arcs of B5, which are actual plot arcs. Srsly? The Klingon Civil War lasts two friking episodes? Once in a while a Cardassian does something just to be a jerk. OMG HUGE FEDERATION CONSPIRACY ... settled in one episode. With neck-parasites that B5 made better use of. Shame on you, Star Trek! Utopian societies are DULL. But that makes it good tv for when I'm actually doing something else, like cooking or sewing.


Aside from that, I'm kinda spinning my wheels media-wise. Nothing new or stimulating, which made my summer break kinda boring, and will probably do the same for autumn break.

<3 Chrysilla

Today's Health Rating:

1-Horrible
2-Thud
3-Meh
4-OK
5-Yay?
6-Yay!
7-Old normal, YAY!

July 2017

S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16 171819202122
23242526272829
3031     

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Oct. 20th, 2017 12:42 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios