chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
So I've lost about 8ish lbs off my average weight since early February, which *might* indicate that the no-dairy rule on my current diet plan is helping deflate some inflammation.

From now on, I'd rather not use the term Paleo b/c it annoys me. It is now the Inflammation Diet. The "My Insides Are On Fire Diet" was too long and the initialism was clunky. MIAOFD? Meh.

Viruses get die-offs too? )

Sleep is still f'ed, but not sure if that's due to bodily weird or Impending Spring Syndrome. Very annoying tho. Impending Spring Syndrome has also encouraged me to buy new makeup, and make new clothes, but then the latter actions are stymied by Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which claims it was here first. *sigh*

Current plans, try to settle down my accursed FOMO, get more sleep, take more epsom salt baths for skin weirdness (you finally cleaned the darn tub, now f'ing use it pls). The whole city + dayjob will be shut down on Tuesday b/c snow (french toast alert level at 4), and would like to do some sewing for a project, but will settle for more coma-time.

Not sure if I'll be running my tabletop game this month, or going to the MES NYC Feature Game this weekend, b/c apparently I need my weekends for coma time this month :-P Not sure if I should call it now, or wait until the last minute.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
Got it checked and double checked, and I'm having an active Epstein Barr infection right now. Since the last time I was tested for it was 2011, and that doctor explained it really badly ('andtibodies' rather than 'you have it RIGHT NOW') its very possible that this is what's been causing my CFS problems the whole time. Hard to say for sure tho, b/c no data.

Figured I'd make one blog post about it, to edit/add to when I remember more through the brainfog, rather than a zillion FB posts.

Current theory: bad digestion -> borked immune system -> EBV flare -> bad digestion -> borked immune system -> EBV flare -> etc. Feedback loop of epic fail.

Five years of suck )

For right now the plan is more tummy treatments and vitamins to strengthen my immune system, some new and some increased doses based on what I could find on the internet, while I wait for my new GP to find me a specialist. I was already planning to do a diet cleanup in February, so that was convenient, tho now I'm considering full Paleo again. Or mostly full, I need chocolate. Also, if stress is a trigger, its about f'ing time I started meditating regularly.

"Think Happy Thoughts Dammit" has been explained to me as a treatment by a fellow EBV-spoonie, but Happiness can be expensive in NYC. So... more Netflix? Even when I'm too tired to watch a new movie or tv episode (yes, that's a thing). I'm already seeing my psych next week, so I'll see what he thinks. I'm already trying a smidge of Wellbutrin for a 'lift' in addition to Strattera (my psych's had good patient experience w this), but while I'm not feeling negative side effects I'm also not feeling benefits.


I guess there's a chance that EBV could shut itself off as randomly as it turned itself on, maybe with permanent lifestyle changes, but I dunno. When I thought it was hypothyroid, I figured I'd just have to add an extra body-chemical and things would get better. Now there's an evil virus chilling in most of my cells, which can wake up whenever it wants, and leave me borked for weeks even if it goes back to sleep.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
O wow, two weeks with no proper update. Tho I did use Dreamwidth to take notes on my tummy history, b/c I finally saw the new GI last week, yay! After losing her number and forgetting to call since late January. Dumb brainfog.

Not much happened the week before my friend's wedding (weekend after my last update) b/c I was busy prepping and overall being stressed about travel. But it ended up really nice :-) WeddingCon! )

Last week was ... mixed. Was high on wedding goodwill, but because of the skin irritation the rest of the week put kindof a damper on me. And I had to make a trip to Wallmart for Rich Ppl Whole Foods to get gluten free body lotion and shower stuff. But at least the SoHo location keeps that in its own little area away from most of the annoyingness.

Wednesday I took a half day off so I could finally see my GI, and she is very nice. Didn't dismiss my "oxalates" discovery out of hand, and wants to do the standard list of uncomfortable diagnostic tests. She was actually pleased that I already knew a lot of what she was talking about (other doctors have gotten annoyed with me about that in the past). So the first uncomfortable test is next Monday, before Thanksgiving, b/c I just want to get it over with.

As for oxalates, Adventures in Research )

After the GI I had a therapy session scheduled, but I had a big block of time and there was an urgent-care facility between the offices, so I got my skin problem checked out. Probably TMI ) My one concern now is that if this is/was viral, and I was just at a *wedding*, I REALLY hope it wasn't contagious :-/ But at least it was short lived. And it wasn't bedbugs, phew.


Thursday I still felt skin-yuck, but teh Pooka managed to get me out of the house for the evening with another new friend. Leading to a WTF? moment at Bareburger on Laguardia, where there was a string of mixups about whether or not my *salad* was actually gf. And the confusion started *after* I'd eaten some of if. In the end, they comped my certified GF salad b/c of all of the freaking-me-out that happened. Not as bad as the dead-grasshopper-salad incident, but still, wth Bareburger? And then we went to a nice cafe in the East Village, where the server was very kind about all my food issues. Ironically, feeding me gets *more* complicated in a vegan place b/c of my issues with dates, soy, and gluten. But overall a nice evening out :-)


This weekend started out OK, but kindof sputtered out. Forecast: BRAINFOG )

So today I'm still in zombie mode, but with a shiny new necklace at least. And somehow I made it to therapy on time which is not normal. Does not compute. I think the prednisone I was RX'ed is making me feel weird, but I want to finish out the bottle (Wednesday morning) to make sure the skin problem doesn't come back.

Its weird how I feel like I've come off a really rough week of something, and I really haven't. Its not even been a difficult Monday. Meh.


Realized I should start picking up Xmas gifts for teh fam while I'm having a fiscally responsible month with an extra payday. So that should be fun once I waketheFup. Tho it may be mostly gift certificates, b/c low spoons. If that changes right before Xmas I'ma feel like a jerk tho. Just trying to finish that necklace for *me* was a huge chore, I don't even want to think about making shinies for other ppl these days. Tho maybe that's the Rx talking again?

Also considering a BPAL order, but not a gigantic one. Maybe for Turkey Weekend. At first I thought it was stupidly crazy to type up my full collection into a .doc file, but it's actually been pretty useful for the last week. "That sounds nice, but do I have something similar already? Was that a note I didn't like?" Helped me whittle a list down to two items instead of six. Yaaaaay. I will take any excuse to feel clever these days.



Overall I think I've become steadily less stuff-oriented this year. Hail Discardia! )

I did manage to purge some old but pretty jewelry displays to give away (they just don't fit my style anymore), will photograph them for ppl to look at ... eventually. And I still have boxes of books and equipment to ship to friends who called dibs in *March*, so I really need to haul my butt to the post office. Ugh. My mail-scale still isn't working right, so maybe they'll be OK if I send them an invoice for s/h instead of checking with them first :-P


Last week I had new inklings for a puppet/video/youtube project but ... ugh. I really don't want new projects. I wanna finish the old projects. So am keeping this under my hat for now, tho I'll happily take notes in case I ever have that much energy again.

This week's tarot is very OMG BOOM DRAMA CHANGE OMG!See? )

Despite tarot forecast, I kinda just want to take it easy now. Tho that could still be the short-term Rx talking. I have my GI diagnostic next week, for which I'll have to spend the weekend in preparation (ugh), and then Turkey Day after that, and probably not much happening that weekend either. So there's still a part of my brain that's going 'OMG HAVE ALL THE FUN AND CREATIVE STUFF OR ELSE' but really... I just want to chill. I won't *know* anything new about my tummy until December anyway, so not interested in doing more dietary research.

I was hoping November would be a lot more productive in terms of projects and socializing after WeddingCon, but I couldn't help being sick, and now I want to get this medical stuff over with, so its being productive in its own way. I'm trying a controlled, temporary measure of "F#$% it, I give up" for a couple weeks until then. If I socialize or write stuff, awesome, if not then whatevs.


Unfortunately, I'm also starting to rethink my '2014 MOAR CONS' plan, Con = tired )

Now that I think of it, taking a couple of weeks off from actively trying to restart my life may be the change I actually need. Then I can start fixing things again if I feel better after that. But then if it takes me *this* long to recover from a trip to PA, maybe more cons isn't such a great idea afterall.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: BEADS!!!!!! (bead bunny)
So the weekend happened, and I stayed inside my building from Friday night thru Monday morning. I went to the laundry room Sunday evening, and that was it. But after last week was much nicer, this week the highs will be in the mid 90s, and my migraines are already coming back. Blegh.

My stomach's also been extra grouchy since dinner break. Could be the heat, could be the herbal tummy supplement I tried this weekend at half dose, and it didn't really do anything. Except stop me from going to bed on time on Friday b/c I didn't remember it was a stimulant until after I took it. Durh.

Because of laundry craziness, I'm wearing slacks to work for the first time in ... weeks? Months? And they're a bit tight. Not sure if this is b/c I'm gaining more weight, my tummy's all upset and inflamed, or if I'm just not used to them anymore. I was my heaviest weight evar around this time last year, so maybe something about summer just makes me heavier. And then I lost 10 of those lbs again by September when I stopped eating wheat for 8 weeks, *shrugs* I just hope I don't have to buy more clothes, b/c urgh shopping :-P

This week I got a bit angsty over the dramas of my past, and it was just weird and sudden. Combo of current events and suggestions, and probably that weird herbal supplement I tried just made me temporarily crazy. Luckily I'm already in therapy, so it was nice talking about it today and trying to figure it out. Aside from that I'd been more anxious and phobic this weekend, and b/c I'd been doing better I'd forgotten my 'anxiety hiccup' practices & Sedona stuff for most of it. Whups. Back on track now. Mostly I blame the summer.



I'm almost done with the sewing parts of my DCon costume. Sewing, shinies, research, laundry, and (over?)spending. )

Unfortunately, I've now maxed my 'extras' budget for July, so no more orders of *anything* until August. And I managed to do that before being fully half way through the month. I am not sure I like this pattern- plan a purchase for the next month, spend everything by the half way point, rinse repeat. Yes, all of the things have purposes, but I'm starting to not like spending my $$. Luckily, I have plenty of sewing & crafting to do now that I have no $$ to go out and do things. Not that I'm apparently healthy enough to go out in July. That's how I can afford to make costumes, I'm too sick & tired to attend costumed events :-P


B/c I couldn't fall asleep on Friday night, I spent a while unF-ing my beads workbench area, and organizing and labeling containers. Thus I was able to spend most of Sunday comfortably playing with wire, both tried and true methods to make a few pairs of earrings, and some more experimental stuff to try out for the Dcon project. Monday morning I went through my seed-beading supplies and ... Ima need more soon. But again I think I can hold off until August. Set up four bracelet projects, that should tide me over. May do photos this weekend if I remember. And maybe I'll properly cut and hem the background fabrics I like to use now, so the process is a bit more streamlined, before I break out another full sewing project.

Not that I've even finished uploading the pictures/items from the last bunch of photos I took to Etsy. Or made any blog posts for the ones that are up. Ooops. At least I'm a better artisan than I am a promoter. Ironically, selling more shinies would help with the financial stress. Assuming I can remember how when its 95 degrees and humid outside. Durh.


Today I went over some of the data from my food-journal, to work out how much $$ I *could* be spending on groceries in a month. Food, you SUCK. )

I guess its finally super humid now, b/c the newer, prettier drip pan under my a/c is finally seeing some action. And so far it seems to be working like I'd hoped: lower but wider container = more surface area = more evaporation so it doesn't overflow and make me have to deal with the creepy next-door neighbor. Yaaay.


As for this week's social plans, I'm going out with a friend on Thursday to trade tarot services for dinner. Yay! Hopefully my tarot skillz won't suck due to heat-induced brainfog and migraines, but we can always reschedule for another time if I get full-on sick. Other than that, no plans. I hope to have the brainpower for bits of sewing and jewelry work, but if today is any indication I don't have much hope.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (clothes)
Yay! I am awake today! This is amazing! Not quite as good as last week (before the late nite phone spam) but better than earlier this week. Also, today I got the barest hint of migraine this morning before it went away on its own. Woot. (Have had to take migraine meds Weds & Thurs, not woot. What is it about June that makes my head hurt???)

Noticeable factors: Over the weekend I went to CC and picked up a variety of GF snacks (not nec paleo). Since Saturday I'd been snacking on 'veggie chips', which include corn but also do that veggie puree thing. Wednesday I switched back to corn chips, Thursday & Friday are noticeably better. So apparently corn chips are magical. Or something. Yesterday I stopped by the overpriced local shop to get organic corn chips, and they're not giving me a tummy ache like they used to. So yay, I can at least have the organic version of a thing that probably isn't very good for me, but is still having an oddly beneficial side effect. *shrugs*

Sewing= time budget success! Money budget... not sho much. )

Will also try to be a bit more careful with grocery budget for the rest of the month, Adventures in Noms! )

On Tuesday I went for needling, and told my needler that I wanted to take July off. B/c a) want to save some extra cash for DCon, b) not sure if acupuncture is really working as well as it used to, and c) I can always get back to needling in August before DCon. If I turn out to be wrong about b, I can always call them and set up another appointment. She totally understood. I asked if I might be building up a tolerance to needling, or if my physical problems are more-fixed so now its the mental/habits problems that need more work. She thinks more likely the latter than the former. But we'll see. Definitely going to be a bit more social in the next 6 weeks, we'll see if that shakes anything else loose in my headmeats. Much as I like my needler, my budget is a bit strained these days, even when I'm not buying fabric.

Also, a DCon friend has offered me a Reiki boost while we're there. Still very Reiki curious, but my attempt at going to the 'student practice session' failed b/c Hurricane Sandy. And then I just got distracted. *shrugs*


I'll probably put off all the grocery shopping (which isn't really that much) until tomorrow, b/c this evening a friend is in town and we might go hang out for a little while wit another friend. Possibly with fancy GF french macaroons. Which I probably won't try baking myself this weekend, since I'm doing other kitchen stuff. But some day, macaron. You too, meringue. Tho the last time I had macaron I got super dizzy, so today we'll see if that was a fluke or if almond flour hates my brain (I use almond *butter* in banana bread & brownies). A lot of gf-baking mommy bloggers are against almond flour, but I don't remember why. *shrugs*


I think I'm more or less off the strict paleo thing now, if that wasn't clear before. I can't keep up strictly with a crazy-rich-ppl diet. I'll happily use their recipes, but with ingredients and equipment that I can actually afford.

And don't get me started about "OMG THIS RECIPE IS TOTES PALEO EVEN THO I FRIED OR BAKED EVERYTHING IN EXPENSIVE BUTTER NOW BUY MY COOKBOOK!" *sigh* Luckily I can usually sub in bacon fat or coconut oil when something needs a room-temp-solid fat. But when they're using full fat cow cream to make ice cream... wtf.

Mind you, todays macarons will probably have dairy in them, but at least the pills fix the tummy ache problem, and it doesn't mess me up for days like gluten (or we'll find out today). The shop also isn't claiming to be Paleo :-P

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
Basically all of the other interesting and nice things to come about in the last two days have been overshadowed by waking up this morning to find a big f'ing roach in my front hallway this morning. But b/c the light bulb had gone out yesterday morning, and I hadn't had the energy to fix it last night, I first had to find a flashlight and spray before approaching the ick. I'd also left my boots in the hallway instead of in the closet 2 feet to the left, increasing anxiety, b/c MY BOOTS. After spraying it to death, it took me a half hour to pick it up with large cardboard flats and throw it in a nearby garbage back, then tossed in the garbage room. In the meantime I kept on a steady panic level while getting ready for work, and even put a stepstool *over* the death scene to change the light bulb.

Unfortunately, I wasn't really innured enough with Sedona method, or even far enough along in the book, for it to work that well. Extended report of FREAKING THE F#$% OUT. )

So before that, Wednesday was shaping up as better/more interesting than Tuesday. I *was* feeling better :-P )


And y'know, all this in the wake of my balcony triumph. Remember the good times, lil' anxious Chrysilla...


Still trying to figure out why my anxiety was a lot worse today than it was the last time this exact same thing happened (... I think? dammit brainfog). The Sedonia book sez that when u start releasing emotions, new ones start to pop up that were buried under the others, and stuff can get more intense. Oh F#$% this.

I was considering cutting back on hermitting after this week, but despite possible problems with my chantry now, I really don't feel like I have the energy. Tho b/c this is the first exceptional anxiety attack I've had since I started my energy gauge, I really don't know where I'm at. Everything's a jumble of panic and tired.

And remember when I used to be able to make myself feel better by treating myself to a restaurant dinner for one? Not really possible anymore.

Me = not winning afterall. :-/

<3 Chrysilla


ps, I'm starting to think I should call my "Paleo Diet" template the "1940s Diet" instead. B/c then my inner science geek can stop being so embarrassed.

pps, My neighborhood friend can put me up for the nite if I'm freaking out, but he'll be out for most of the evening. At a restaurant I'm invited to, but I'm not sure I can eat at. So... will succumb to the cleaning-frenzy, see if the Sedona/CBT combo can get me to sleep in my own bed tonite, and if not I'll go sleep on his couch. So that's some yay :-)
chrysilla: (witch)
Today's been... weird. I'm back up to a '2' now, but at the beginning of the day and before lunch I was all the way down to '1' as in "Should I use a sick day? No, not actually symptomatic of anything. *SIGH*" Low energy, high brainfog, and an annoying behind-the-eyes headache (migraine?) all day.

I went to bed at 11pm-ish, and my alarm went off at 7:30am. But at 5am some random noises woke me up for a while. Eventually I got back to sleep, but by 7:30 I was in a very intense kind of dream cycle, so I felt all kinds of f'ed up when the alarm went off. This morning it felt like I hadn't slept at all, except that I think I got about 7 or 8 hours at least. Srsly? I wonder if I'd be feeling better if I'd just gotten up at 5am. Wth, brain? But this doesn't happen when I wake up at 4am and fall right back to sleep. On the other hand, a rainstorm also rolled in today (did I feel it before I could see it? meh, this is not a superpower I want), and I'm definitely in the PMS sector of my calendar. So Ima cross my fingers for sleep tonite and see what happens :-P



And this is all a huge shame, b/c all weekend I was AMAZING at being functional and productive. OMG. All the accomplishments!! )

So after cleaning the balcony on Saturday (OMG YAY) I am still sore four days later. But after reading a blogpost about the wonders of magnesium I had picked up some epsom salts, and figured that achy Sunday nite would be a good time to try them out. My legs and back still hurt but I was more spaced out and happy-fuzzy after. At least I didn't feel worse? I *think* I slept a bit better, but its hard to remember right now. Definitely slept longer on Monday morning than I did on the other days. Srsly, I woke up at 9am on Sunday and couldn't really deal with that fact. I think that's what drove me to the sewing, internal confusion.


Also, my books from Amazon got dropped in the library mailbox Friday afternoon, so I got them this morning. Am trying out a book on the "Sedona Method" for my mental/emotional health. So far its mostly the author talking about how great he & his method are, and I'm having trouble concentrating b/c migraine, so... meh. I'm sure he'll get to something helpful eventually.

Tarot forecast! )

Still not sure about when I'm going to ease off on hermitting. Astrological omens seem good for getting back out in the world starting this weekend, but I still feel like I'm missing something. Actually, right now I just feel like I have a migraine, so I guess we'll see how I feel tomorrow. Oooow.

I have figured out many things, but according to my newish energy-gauge my levels have gone down pretty steadily. But I'm getting more stuff done too. I don't get it.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
Not really sure what went wrong this week. I am crawling-on-the-floor-pls-take-me-home-DED today, although Tuesday was the worst in terms of almost actually falling asleep at work. Very little jewelry work got done, was too spaced out to focus on any photo work or Etsy uploads, despite last week's successes.

Theories are still that either I ate something I shouldn't have on Sunday night (despite careful considerations), or that after a few good nights of sleep my adrenals realized they didn't have to work so hard, and now I'm going thru adrenaline withdrawal. Which would actually be a good sign, but it still f'ing annoying. Or I burnt myself out doing some-of-the-things last week, which doesn't seem right.


Last night I was going to run a bunch of errands, but bailed after the most important first one, and then went home to collapse. Ate easy food, watched Secret of Moonacre (on Netflix instant- thin plot, but ADORABLE, with adorable costumes), and thought long and hard about my life/health while spacing out in the bathtub b/c I was too tired to meditate. B/c there's nothing like watching a sparkly children's movie to make one feel entirely stuck and banal.

Patterns, analysis, tarot )

I really just don't understand balance. I gorge, I horde, if something good is happening then I keep it going with it until I (or it) burn out. Planning ahead and saying no don't always work out. I have successfully given up caffeine, alcohol, and some unhealthy social groups over the course of my life. But its different when its a thing I don't like to begin with, or that actively hurts me. (Tho maybe I'm still badass for giving up the things that everybody else is still doing, b/c everybody else seems to be doing it?) Now everything is confusing b/c I'm too tired to do the things I actually want to do that are good for me. Which is oddly enough forcing me to not gorge or horde anymore. Its weird. But if I stopped being tired, would I just go back to gorging myself on life again?

How does balance work? Ppl with obsessive habits want to know. Would it make more sense if I wasn't brainfogged?


In other news, am looking forward to next week's long weekend, and also to the start of the summer semester, when most of the constantly coughing patrons will hopefully not be here to get on my nerves for three months. B/c ARGH. Cough drops, dumbasses, they work.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: BEADS!!!!!! (bead bunny)
My new health rating scale is still helping me keep things straight in my head, yay. 1-10 just didn't work, I'm too brain fogged to keep track of ten whole settings.



This weekend was ... varied. Successes and Fails )

Nutrition is confusing )

Decided to take just a couple days off for my b'day next month, on the Friday before and Monday after so I can a) get a 4 day weekend, and b) miss my two 'closing' nights which tend to be more annoying when its finals week. And that leaves plenty of time off for DCon, a 'pillow' in case of extended illness, and an extra week off for winter break.

Am less sure about going on a spending spree for my b'day. Might lose control. But April would have been more in the black if not for being late on my sales tax and missing that one therapy session, so assuming nothing like that happens in May I might be OK? Maybe I'll just do a BPAL run, and get myself those new/old walking shoes, tho was going to do the latter anyway.

Unsure about the fancy chocolate, given that I live in NYC, but I dislike the fancy grocery stores where one gets the fancy chocolate. And not sure if I want to go to Chocolate Haven, b/c its depressing to get plain (tho nummy) dark chocolate bars when there's a counter full of bonbons you can't eat (dairy, possible gluten intrusion). But if anyone has any recs on dairy/gluten-free fancy chocolate, feel free to comment.


I still think the hermitting is helping me get things together. Anxiety and Projects. )

This weekend got eaten by jewelry (tho that's not a bad thing) so maybe next weekend will be writing. Oh, except for one event. Darnit, next weekend then. Or maybe some weeknights if I'm lucky and don't lose track of my motor functions again.

Tho there are also a ton of cartoons I'd like to catch up on via Netflix. Whups :-)

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (galadriel lembas mix)
Hermit-ing is going OK so far. Been very prone to headaches this week, since Sunday night was nightmare-y, but they've lightened up as I've gotten 8-8.5 hours of sleep each night. Wednesday evening I stopped by my acupuncturist's personal practice to pick up more of the herbal pills that worked before, but last time it took a full day's dosage (you take 8 tiny pills 3 times a day) to become effective. Been too brain fogged to remember to meditate, which is typically annoying for this situation.

Been more drowsy in the evenings lately, but I'm not sure if that's my body's way of fixing its circadian rhythms, or the power of suggestion + fixation. I'm thinking about sleeping for lots of my day, so of course I feel sleepy all the time. But my brain has been going "Hello! I'm awake now! Revv revv revv!" right before bedtime again.


Also been getting more brain-blurts of dialog snippets for my scripts lately. Tho many at bedtime, which is part of why I'm not getting 9 hours every night. If taxes don't melt my brain this weekend, maybe I'll also remember to do some writing. Most of my work on this project has been in note form, in a notebook months ago, but more recently as lots of emails sent back to myself. Maybe instead of 'writing', editing those notes together would also be a good idea.

This week in non therapies and experiments )


I seem to have caught the spring cleaning bug again, b/c I have a whole list of kitchen + closet clearing/storing projects tucked into my dayplanner all of a sudden. Doing a closet 'audit' would probably be a good idea, a general reminder that I can stop wearing pants everyday once it gets warm enough for skirts and dresses again. And its getting kinda crowded in there, so will probably take some of my treasured costumes and put them into 'cold' storage, since I won't be going to any events where I can wear them for a while. I don't have the space or energy to host a clothes swap, and the last one I attended was unpleasant.

Typing of events, I'm trying to keep track of what cons *other* ppl are going to, and there seem to have been a lot of them since February. May start a general con-savings account for that, aside from the DCon one. Also might do Arisia next year instead of Wicked Faire (NOT as a vendor tho, eek, lugging giant suitcase to Boston = NO). Although I will probably do a price comparison between that and Anachrochon, b/c who wouldn't want to be several states further south during the middle of winter? And its the same neighborhood as DCon, so already familiar with the terrain. I hope ICON isn't gone forever, but I don't want to go back until they've beta tested whatever their new venue is. And I can't stand NYCC. Ironically it is *in* my home city, but more of a strain on me than DCon (where I can go upstairs and take a nap whenever I want).



I really, REALLY want all the coughing ppl at work to stop coughing. Its not even the germ fear talking anymore, the sound just gets on my nerves like nothing else. But the worst flu season in years seems to be overlapping with the normal allergy season, so no relief for mah nerves. Tho ppl on the subway seem to be coughing on me a bit less, so the trains are making me less cranky.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (bb accounts)
Last night I went to acupuncture, and while she didn't have any of the herbal supplements I wanted to keep taking at her Manhattan location, she agreed to needle me for anti-anxiety + pro-sleep rather than winding me up like a clockwork toy. Today I still feel kinda 'Ick' in the head, but noticeably less so than the rest of the work week.

Tho it seems like lots of ppl I know have been having a rough week sleep/dream wise. Srsly? Spring gets here and ppl stop sleeping properly enough to not be cranky all the time? I question this system :-P

Another weirdness, started eating rice again b/c I thought the accidental low-carbing was making me feel more run down. Started with brown rice, but too much fiber :-P. Then white rice, but this week I noticed it giving me some kind of sugar crash. So next week I'm back to low carb lunches with moar veggies, just to see what happens.

And I completely forgot to line up a new sleep doc this week. B/c I was too sleepy to remember all week. Damn you irony. But it was nice to sleep in this morning instead of going to see Dr.Jerk before work, yay.

Teh life planz )

Groceries, the new enemy of budgets? )

And in line with the resurrection themes of Ostara and Easter, Ima try making one of those vision board thingies this weekend. For the ideal life I want to have, the first step on the path being my recent Spoon-Saving-Manifesto thingie. If I don't space out and forget, and or run out of printer ink. I don't really use my cork board for anything productive (except hanging the paper calendar) so its worth a shot, right? All the pagans are doing it nowadays, or something.

Oh, and my NYS sales tax was due on 3/20, and I need to open some kind of online account to pay them now, so it'll be a minimum of $50 this year :-P. So this *should* also be tax weekend.

There are lots of things I'd like to work on, but just haven't been able to get it together for one reason or another. But I've had one better night of sleep, and now its the weekend, so *crosses fingers*. Also, I got that live Bway recording of Rent on DVD from Netflix, yaaaay something to look forward to.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: I rocked out at Mutant Peep Nite (Hedwig Peep)
The latest life-yuck has inspired me to be more focused in dealing with my fatigue problem, but at least now that it might be a sleep problem its easier to work on that one thing. If doctors don't actually know what is causing this brain wave abnormality, or what could make it stop, I have no reason *not* to experiment on myself with fewer side effects :-P

So this is me, trying to maximize my spoon savings, between doing things ahead of time on less active days (weekends), thus giving myself permission to not do *anything* at the end of active days (weekdays). And some hacks good for everyday. All ultimately geared towards making myself not too distracted or wound up to sleep at night, while keeping up with my daily survival.

Hack & Slash )

It also makes me sad to think that for me, more balance = less seeing of friends and fewer group activities. But maybe that's just the sacrifice I have to make for now, and if I manage to jumpstart my spoon supplies, and then my personal projects, my social life will be more sustainable. And at least I can still talk to friends via FB... when I remember to reply to their messages. *sigh*

Actually, its not like I see that many people very often anymore, its just that now I've decided to stop feeling guilty about it. Srsly friends, there are things about my daily life problems I haven't explained in public b/c I didn't realize how serious they might be. And when I did, I didn't want to freak ppl out. But even if they turn out to not be that serious, I'd still like them to stop, and I may have to miss some shows and/or parties to ensure that happens.

I will happily 'like' all the FB photos of your adventures, but I can't have any more adventures of my own until I fix this.


And I will probably be taking stock of if/how this is working out around my b'day, mid May. So 6ish weeks from now, seems good. If things aren't working *at all* by then, will have to re-hack.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
So Wicked Faire was a mixed bag as always. In the good category, saw good friends, heard good music, learned a new kink thing, etc. As usual its best to focus on the community aspects of WF, b/c the business side is so hit-or-miss. Forgot to take pictures tho, I was very much in con-overload all weekend.

Bad Wicked. Why do I keep coming back here? )

So yah, and then I was sick Mon thru Wed, tho luckily I had Mon off. Health stuffs )

BEADS!!!!!! )

I did manage to get my con cash to the bank today so I can pay my bills this weekend. And from a cursory glance it looks like I was actually under budget for this month (in part due to the annoying deposit the WF hotel demanded in August, and I didn't know I was vending until December, yaaay). I have all of my necessary tax documents too, but I'ma wait until I can brain better after more flu recovery. Again from a cursory glance last week, it looks like I don't have to write the IRS any checks this year.

And that's pretty much my accomplishments for the week, a list that would be much longer if I hadn't been in con-overload and flu-land. Tho I guess surviving flu-land is an accomplishment.

<3 Chrysilla

ps, Happy Birthday Babylon 5 :-)
chrysilla: (galadriel lembas mix)
Accomplishments )

Last week was still severely un-fun, but not in the random disaster way as seen in my weekly tarot forecast. More like a zillion random papercuts making me grumpy. Including hormones.

I'm just trying to keep my eyes up and focused on Wicked Faire, where I can be among my own people again, utterly surrounded and propped up by their cathartic weirdness.

I really hope fixing my sleeps breaks me out of this 'too tired to socialize' pattern. I need energy from *both* social time and alone time, just one side isn't working out.

<3 Chrysilla

Today's Health Rating:

1-Horrible
2-Thud
3-Meh
4-OK
5-Yay?
6-Yay!
7-Old normal, YAY!

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