Queen of the Cat People

Today's been... weird. I'm back up to a '2' now, but at the beginning of the day and before lunch I was all the way down to '1' as in "Should I use a sick day? No, not actually symptomatic of anything. *SIGH*" Low energy, high brainfog, and an annoying behind-the-eyes headache (migraine?) all day.

I went to bed at 11pm-ish, and my alarm went off at 7:30am. But at 5am some random noises woke me up for a while. Eventually I got back to sleep, but by 7:30 I was in a very intense kind of dream cycle, so I felt all kinds of f'ed up when the alarm went off. This morning it felt like I hadn't slept at all, except that I think I got about 7 or 8 hours at least. Srsly? I wonder if I'd be feeling better if I'd just gotten up at 5am. Wth, brain? But this doesn't happen when I wake up at 4am and fall right back to sleep. On the other hand, a rainstorm also rolled in today (did I feel it before I could see it? meh, this is not a superpower I want), and I'm definitely in the PMS sector of my calendar. So Ima cross my fingers for sleep tonite and see what happens :-P



And this is all a huge shame, b/c all weekend I was AMAZING at being functional and productive. OMG. ( All the accomplishments!! )

So after cleaning the balcony on Saturday (OMG YAY) I am still sore four days later. But after reading a blogpost about the wonders of magnesium I had picked up some epsom salts, and figured that achy Sunday nite would be a good time to try them out. My legs and back still hurt but I was more spaced out and happy-fuzzy after. At least I didn't feel worse? I *think* I slept a bit better, but its hard to remember right now. Definitely slept longer on Monday morning than I did on the other days. Srsly, I woke up at 9am on Sunday and couldn't really deal with that fact. I think that's what drove me to the sewing, internal confusion.


Also, my books from Amazon got dropped in the library mailbox Friday afternoon, so I got them this morning. Am trying out a book on the "Sedona Method" for my mental/emotional health. So far its mostly the author talking about how great he & his method are, and I'm having trouble concentrating b/c migraine, so... meh. I'm sure he'll get to something helpful eventually.

( Tarot forecast! )

Still not sure about when I'm going to ease off on hermitting. Astrological omens seem good for getting back out in the world starting this weekend, but I still feel like I'm missing something. Actually, right now I just feel like I have a migraine, so I guess we'll see how I feel tomorrow. Oooow.

I have figured out many things, but according to my newish energy-gauge my levels have gone down pretty steadily. But I'm getting more stuff done too. I don't get it.

<3 Chrysilla

Its another long, slow Monday night at work full of coughing patrons. But after tonight, no more Monday nites until June, b/c I'm taking off for my b'day next week, and the week after is Memorial Day. And after that, its summer session, and hopefully most of the coughing patrons will be off and away. So ... one more night.

I really hope summer session helps me reset my system some more, and set up some new habits. Like working on photo/writing stuff while on the circ desk, getting a more regular sleep cycle for a few months, etc. Becoming less cranky about patrons in general. At least I hope its not *more* stressful, that may be the summer of 2014. There's a plan to replace all of the windows on our floor, which are all floor to ceiling and make up almost the whole outer wall of the library. Not sure if they'll shut us down for that this time, tho.


The weekend was ... adequate. ( Indian food is magical? )

And the plan is to do combined MomsDay/CrisDay stuff on this coming Saturday, since I'll have a four day weekend and hopefully not be too ded tired to enjoy myself outside like this weekend. Might get a couple of (light, folding) things for the balcony, its too bad I was in no state to work on that space this weekend. The rainy weather is actually great for that. Oh well.


I found a little sketch pad I was no longer using for ideas (b'c I don't really have many of those anymore) and am starting to use it as a food journal this week. If my brain really does need a less fibrous, more-complex-than-plain-sugar type of carbohydrate to function, I will figure out which one hurts the least. Am also working on eating less fresh fruit/veg to see if my tummy settles. Counter-intuitive for spring, but welcome to my life.


And this is our tarot forecast: ( Tarot pic! ) Hopefully good omens for creative work. And y'know, birthday. I will settle for being awake enough to remember to meditate and do some yoga.

Was going to try and organize some written script bits this evening, but just spaced out instead. *shrugs* I'm considering going on a blog-fast for a few weeks and reading through the collection of short story collections I keep at the office, b/c the blogs were just too distracting tonite. I think my brain needs more complexity in its input, and not just food-wise.

Still not balanced. Don't really have anything to balance *with* yet. But I'm feeling a tiny bit better than last week, so hopefully this is the start of good things.

<3 Chrysilla

Yah, its Beltane, I'm wearing my handmade green dress with the handkerchief hem. Last night I did all the candle and tarot stuff. Some consider the Celtic festivals start at sunset the night before, and I figured I may not remember or feel up to doing stuff the next day, so I figured I'd better put it together while I felt able. Also picked up a bouquet of vibrant, dark purple mums for my flower pitcher, so it was more difficult to be moody when there were fresh flowers in the house. Lol.

Last week I did a bunch of tarot, with an eclipsey full moon in Scorpio, so it was all very MYSTERY and DARKNESS and BEWARE type stuff. Wanted to still do something for Beltane, so I focused more on the themes of growth and renewal. Where am I going? What can/could I develop? And I think it worked out pretty well. I used the Shadowscapes deck, since I used Cat People last week, and I use Steampunk all the time now. May switch to Shadowscapes for weekly updates cuz I'm kinda tired of the Steampunk deck's drama.

( Tarot pictures! )

So yah, Beltane. Will probably go for a walk around the park after work today, but I also need to pick up some flash drives so I can do my photo editing on my lunch breaks at work. Am considering doing something about my lagging inspiration problems, but I figure that's all tied into the CF problems anyway, so if I get healthier that may wake itself back up. It already is a leetle bit. Patience, kitteh. And last night kept me up past my bedtime, for which I feel not so sprightly today. Whups.


BTW, this was this week's forecast: ( Another tarot pic! )
Yeah... Steampunk Tarot, you got some drama problems. I'm not feeling this level of badness yet, tho I don't really feel as well as last week. Its also TTotM, so mebbe I should just lay extra low this week.

<3 Chrysilla

I think this is the beginning of Hardcore Hermitting Week Four, and ... I almost am starting to feel better?

Its difficult to gauge, I think I'd be feeling better if I hadn't been sick last weekend. And between illness and world-wide news last week, I was pretty ready to go home Friday night and stay in my chantry until the world's proper end. But my neighbor-friend tempted me two blocks away to his house with grass fed beef shin and properly cooked bone marrow, and probably some plant matter that I don't remember. My stomach couldn't get thru all of it, but I think I ate most and didn't explode, so yay for that.

He also got me started on Hemlock Grove, for better or worse. Its VERY Twin Peaks like, to the point where I think they played a remix of the theme music during the school-dance scene in episode 2. It has the same weird ungainly mix of pacing, where some bits are just so f'ing boring and pointless, and other parts you need to rewind and turn on the subtitles to figure out what just happened. A lot more graphic than TP, with much better special effects, and more teenage drama thrown in. Also, lots of characters vomiting, I guess that's supposed to make it more edgy. *shrugs* Got a bit more than halfway through this weekend, will probably finish it next weekend.


Things happened other than tv this weekend. ( Accomplishments )

Sadly, no creative beading/writing work got done this weekend. But I half expected that due to being sick last week. I did dream of packing up lots of beads and jewelry supplies Saturday nite, tho, to take with me somewhere or other. Don't remember any other details. I did re-pack a bunch of the new materials into my traveling bead kit for this week. Yay new necklaces in strange new color combos. Maybe someday I'll remember to photograph the pile of pieces I've already completed.


This week's focus is to read the books I already have on treating anxiety problems. ( New Brain-Hacking )

This week's tarot reading looks dramatic but hopeful: ( Tarot! )

Also mulling over b'day plans. Maybe go for dinner with ppl in a Chrys-safe restaurant, and then go to see the new Star Trek movie? But this would be 5/18, and I'm not sure which of my friends will not have already seen it by Saturday.

Beltane is coming up, and I just don't give a f#$%. Another reminder to change the salt-bowl. Tho I'm tempted to make this year's prayer something along the lines of "No, F#$% YOU universe!!" *sigh* Its a 'school' nite anyway. Some friends' b'days are the following weekend, fun but I'll probably only be able to do one.

But here I am, and I will keep on keepin' on for another week. I actually feel kinda impatient right now, like I'd rather be at home doing creative stuff than here at work. Tho if I *were* suddenly home, that's no guarantee that I'd actually do anything. Still pretty brain fogged, so who knows.

<3 Chrysilla

So yes, hello, I'm back. Trying to recapture my internet presences. And since I have a bit more presence of mind reclaimed from the chronic fatigue, maybe I will have more will to write the long winded LJ/DW posts I used to. Semi-publicly. Yay?

( Look, tarot! )

I also do small weekly readings for myself with a new deck, both to familiarize myself with it, but also to keep my skills a bit sharper than I was. Mebbe will post that here too.

In other news, I spent winter break ... not so much putting new years resolutions together, but planning new patterns and habits to develop to try and make my life easier. Success has been mixed so far, but I did get waylaid by a really nasty S.I. for a week.

( New patterns of behavior )

I will vanquish thee, brainfog!!!!

<3 Chrysilla

This was the turning point in my technique, where I finally remembered to use the cheap cotton *first*. And it turned out pretty nice, and was easy to adjust when the waist was too wide.

( Details and photos )

Part of my order from Joanne's will be two servings of cotton to make two more of these (probably). A dark purple pattern and a dark blue pattern, still cheap but nicer looking than the plain magenta. Y'know, if I ever manage to take it from the clutches of Fedex.

I did get another shipment of patterns from the McCalls triumvirate yesterday, so that should keep me busy too. Am going to try my best not to order more commercial patterns for a while, tho I may try the cheap/free downloads I've seen on some websites. Otherwise I'll try altering existing patterns before buying new ones.

<3 Chrysilla

B/c its Tardis blue, and I made it during the hurricane to keep from freaking out.



( Teh process, and more photos. )

So from now on, I start with the cheap stuff when I can before going on to the nice (and annoyingly slippery) fabric. Or maybe I should just quit with slippery fabrics all together.

( Other fabric plans )

<3 Chrysilla