Queen of the Cat People

( Accomplishments )

Last week was still severely un-fun, but not in the random disaster way as seen in my weekly tarot forecast. More like a zillion random papercuts making me grumpy. Including hormones.

I'm just trying to keep my eyes up and focused on Wicked Faire, where I can be among my own people again, utterly surrounded and propped up by their cathartic weirdness.

I really hope fixing my sleeps breaks me out of this 'too tired to socialize' pattern. I need energy from *both* social time and alone time, just one side isn't working out.

<3 Chrysilla

Still alive. I think?

Wicked Faire was a lot of fun. Even though I was feeling pretty wiped out, despite surprise days off before hand, but it was easy enough to chill at my booth and let the con come to me. And the lower table price took a HUGE weight off my mind. And we had really nice neighbors, and really good traffic flow. I brought the puppet, which actually made salesmanship a lot easier for me. W00t!

It was a good reintroduction to sellin stuffs in person, and I'm looking forward to Steampunk World's Faire with my two friends' jewelry companies. We've been approved for hotel-room vending so all of my nefarious b'day plans are coming together. Yay!



Unfortunately, aside from that there were many weeks of badness for my brain. First there was the massive roach incident in January, but then a week before Wicked I had a FRIKING MOUSE in my home. On the 15th floor of a building that does not have hollow walls. Just... ARGH. The anxiety backlash of that was a lot worse than the roach, I had to stay over my friend's house overnight, it was pretty bad. And just as I was getting over the roach incident, so all of *those* feelings came back too.

The Monday before Wicked, a big water tank on the roof of my work-building broke and flooded the whole building. The library I work in is the second floor down, and is probably the only floor with extensive carpeting instead of linoleum, so we got some extra time off while people came in to repair the damage. It was still pretty wet and disheveled when we came back, and only this week things seem to be going back to normal. All of last week I had an obstacle course of extra displaced furniture between the door and my desk, that was not fun. Not to mention displaced books to look for, loud fans, and our new carpets getting pulled back up. Barely any books were damaged (about 20) so the worst part of this so far has been all our newly renovated stuff getting wrecked and thrown out. And the renovation wasn't fun for me in the first place. At least this work stress (supposedly) has a time limit?


So for the last few weeks, between the fun Wicked Faire, office stress, and the brain-cracking phobias, I've been really f'ing drained. Being at home is not relaxing when you're afraid to work in your kitchen, and looking nervously in all the dark corners every five minutes. It slowly sucked all the excitement out of upcoming SWF, ICON (oh F$%# I still need to buy my ticket), and other things. Last week I felt like I'd been thrown back into November as Little Miss Mononucleosis. Too tired to have a social life, frequent migraines, misery at my inability to do anything with my marvelous plans and schemes. I am sho frustrated, considering how much better I felt in early January, and how Wicked Faire turned out well.

( Schemes Interrupted )

Last night I really fell into a pit of angst, about my lack of energy and my life going nowhere as a result. I resisted *most* of the miserably whiny FB updates I wanted to write. I decided "Fine. I give up. No more life or projects until I feel better, F.U. body!! *angstangstangst*"

And today I feel ... better. Not 100%, but better than yesterday and last week. Like I could go to the NYRSF reading tonight without collapsing. So... srsly? I have to have to out-drama my own body to get it to work right? *sigh*

<3 Chrysilla