Queen of the Cat People

Better today. A few theories on recent grumpiness:

-I ran out of 5HTP on Saturday nite, and didn't remember to get more until Tuesday evening. It's a chemical that the body turns into serotonin. Durh.

-I've still been a bit extra grumpy before I ran out of supplements and missed other vitamins. Could it be that the brain fog is clearing enough for me to be frustrated about having brainfog? Instead of just staring into space and immediately forgetting what I was thinking about as per usual.

My tummy also isn't helping. ( Tummy aches, random facial muscle spasms, and dietary implications. )

( Thinking about stress )

More good news: my fall scheduling idea is OK with everybody, so next semester I'll still work 1:30-9:30 on Mondays, but every other day will be 9-5 and I'll do the opening shift every morning. So I can keep my sleep schedule more regular, and it helps keep me from staying out late on weeknights (not that its really a problem right now :-P). It also helps those tai chi classes fit my schedule nicely, if I manage to get out there a few times a month. Can get my allergy shots after work from now on, that also fits better this way.


Found this article too, on Scientific American Your thoughts can release abilities beyond normal limits. Includes a study where a fatigue-response was suppressed with a placebo that was supposed to be caffeine. So how do I *consciously* hack my brain into not being all fogged up all the time? I've changed my diet and habits in the hope that they would fix all-the-things, but did I not believe it enough? Are there some disorders even placebos can't solve?


Overall, I've decided *not* to push myself on body hacks or socializing for the next couple of weeks, until after DragonCon. Them maybe I will be rested when I arrive. For once. Assuming there isn't an earthquake and/or hurricane between now and then (2011 was f'ing weird). There will (hopefully) be a meetup of our B5 cosplayers before con, but that's it. Ima enjoy being leisurely and at home this weekend (with optional sewing project :-P), and next weekend there will be lots of laundry and con-prep.

Also... I'm a bit overbudget. More b/c of the electricity bill than anything else. Only a little bit over on groceries (darn fun Indian food section), and I'll still need bananas this week, so *shrugs*. Its still a lot less over than it used to be, yipes. But staying home for inexpensive fun = yay, and con gets its own budget/revenue stream.

Well, OK, I would like to at least try to remember daily light exercise. 10 minutes of yoga per day won't hurt me. Now if only I could *remember* it. Like the tai chi classes, I just forget that they're a thing :-/ I don't really have a goal aside from the exercising itself, weight loss isn't really a thing I care about right now. Its more like I want to prove to myself that I'm capable of remembering it. Is that odd?


Tuesday nite, tho, I completed many tasks written in my dayplanner in a frustrated migraine-infused fatigue-rage, and did not explode or pass out. So that's a good sign:
-I remembered I have a dayplanner! OMG!
-Finished bug-proofing the bathroom.
-Finally fixed my paypal account.
-Got that 5HTP.
-Organized my vitamin case for the rest of the week.
Yay, accomplishments, however modest. That was another nice thing about sewing, completing tasks that *stay*. Unlike cooking.

<3 Chrysilla

So the weekend happened, and I stayed inside my building from Friday night thru Monday morning. I went to the laundry room Sunday evening, and that was it. But after last week was much nicer, this week the highs will be in the mid 90s, and my migraines are already coming back. Blegh.

My stomach's also been extra grouchy since dinner break. Could be the heat, could be the herbal tummy supplement I tried this weekend at half dose, and it didn't really do anything. Except stop me from going to bed on time on Friday b/c I didn't remember it was a stimulant until after I took it. Durh.

Because of laundry craziness, I'm wearing slacks to work for the first time in ... weeks? Months? And they're a bit tight. Not sure if this is b/c I'm gaining more weight, my tummy's all upset and inflamed, or if I'm just not used to them anymore. I was my heaviest weight evar around this time last year, so maybe something about summer just makes me heavier. And then I lost 10 of those lbs again by September when I stopped eating wheat for 8 weeks, *shrugs* I just hope I don't have to buy more clothes, b/c urgh shopping :-P

This week I got a bit angsty over the dramas of my past, and it was just weird and sudden. Combo of current events and suggestions, and probably that weird herbal supplement I tried just made me temporarily crazy. Luckily I'm already in therapy, so it was nice talking about it today and trying to figure it out. Aside from that I'd been more anxious and phobic this weekend, and b/c I'd been doing better I'd forgotten my 'anxiety hiccup' practices & Sedona stuff for most of it. Whups. Back on track now. Mostly I blame the summer.



I'm almost done with the sewing parts of my DCon costume. ( Sewing, shinies, research, laundry, and (over?)spending. )

Unfortunately, I've now maxed my 'extras' budget for July, so no more orders of *anything* until August. And I managed to do that before being fully half way through the month. I am not sure I like this pattern- plan a purchase for the next month, spend everything by the half way point, rinse repeat. Yes, all of the things have purposes, but I'm starting to not like spending my $$. Luckily, I have plenty of sewing & crafting to do now that I have no $$ to go out and do things. Not that I'm apparently healthy enough to go out in July. That's how I can afford to make costumes, I'm too sick & tired to attend costumed events :-P


B/c I couldn't fall asleep on Friday night, I spent a while unF-ing my beads workbench area, and organizing and labeling containers. Thus I was able to spend most of Sunday comfortably playing with wire, both tried and true methods to make a few pairs of earrings, and some more experimental stuff to try out for the Dcon project. Monday morning I went through my seed-beading supplies and ... Ima need more soon. But again I think I can hold off until August. Set up four bracelet projects, that should tide me over. May do photos this weekend if I remember. And maybe I'll properly cut and hem the background fabrics I like to use now, so the process is a bit more streamlined, before I break out another full sewing project.

Not that I've even finished uploading the pictures/items from the last bunch of photos I took to Etsy. Or made any blog posts for the ones that are up. Ooops. At least I'm a better artisan than I am a promoter. Ironically, selling more shinies would help with the financial stress. Assuming I can remember how when its 95 degrees and humid outside. Durh.


Today I went over some of the data from my food-journal, to work out how much $$ I *could* be spending on groceries in a month. ( Food, you SUCK. )

I guess its finally super humid now, b/c the newer, prettier drip pan under my a/c is finally seeing some action. And so far it seems to be working like I'd hoped: lower but wider container = more surface area = more evaporation so it doesn't overflow and make me have to deal with the creepy next-door neighbor. Yaaay.


As for this week's social plans, I'm going out with a friend on Thursday to trade tarot services for dinner. Yay! Hopefully my tarot skillz won't suck due to heat-induced brainfog and migraines, but we can always reschedule for another time if I get full-on sick. Other than that, no plans. I hope to have the brainpower for bits of sewing and jewelry work, but if today is any indication I don't have much hope.

<3 Chrysilla

Its been a week of ups and downs. For the most part, the downs seem to be caused by my monthly hormonal flux, which is annoying due to all the other progresses I've made. Nope, no matter what I eat or how I try to think, my hormones will still f#$% me up for a week each month. The hermitting can't fix all my problems, apparently :-P

I think what's going on is that the hormones demand chocolate sacrifices in the evening, and that's been making it hard to stick to my 9 hour bedtime. I've been getting 8 or less most nights, and on top of hormones the extra lack of sleep makes me feel icky again. It helps (the chocolate avoidance) when I have better leftovers available for dinner, but that didn't really work out last weekend. Will try to fix that for next week.


Despite this, there were accomplishments! During the work week no less! OMG!( Accomplished iz me. )

So yay! Four new Etsy listings! If you're curious, look at them here on my Etsy shop cuz I'm too lazy to put them all up separately right nao. They're the ones in the row second to the top (or first four in listing-format) with the red backdrops. More later.

Facebook doesn't seem to want my friends to know I have Etsy listings and blog postings. I can't imagine that my friends are more excited about me posting a Gaiman quote than they are about me having the energy to actually get bizness stuff done. But it seems Fb's new party line is "Sure we can give you back your friends/fans, just give us $5 :-P" So f#$% that. Apparently my biz page got a small surge of hits in April... when I didn't post anything shiny on the interwebs at all. Sure, that makes sense.


Getting photo work done at work is getting mixed results from my brain. On one hand, hooray! Using ded space in my schedule where I'd otherwise be staring slack-jawed at the blogoshpere, for constructive things that might help my finances! On the other hand, like today, it was difficult for me to do *anything* constructive all day b/c I'm just feeling so fried. And overall, that's the big problem. I used to read on subways, most of the time I just can't focus. I can't remember to do yoga at home four mornings a week. I can think of sho many ways to utilize the time I have more efficiently... and then I forget. Or am too tired to do the thing. It is very cranky-making.


Since today is payday, and my b'day is coming up, I may order my self-gift from the interwebs tonight. Which will probably just be the BPAL oils, b/c I'm still not sure about ordering fancy chocolate online. Paleo-friendly chocolate, sure, but that means I could very easily consume all of it over the course of a weekend instead of saving it for my sloggy work days.

Will probably also order the walking shoes this month, but that's more a matter of need than want. OK, some want, but they make my feet feel less horrible so its mixed. Might order my Dcon plane tix too, since I have enough for it in my con-savings account, and the extra paycheck will kinda futz up my tracking this month anyway.

<3 Chrysilla