chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
Recently, ran my CtD/KND tabletop game for the first time in month, yay! Read more... ) And Sunday I didn't crash out at all! I was a bit brain-scattered and foggy as per usual, but I got chores done and started a couple new embroidery projects, w00t. Last time I ran game was February (I think?) and the day after was a terrible crash (I blame EBV). Another sign that things might be turning around :-)


Overall, energy levels have been very unpredictable. Health Stuff )

The ongoing, overall plan for summer is that if I can't do the creative work I really want (outside of embroidery on the circ desk in the summmer-slow library), I'm going to try and get out more and socialize, b/c that's how Extroverts recharge their spoons. Also, having a pile of recent memories where I'm out with friends having fun would be nice to help stave off darker moments of moping. A new deity has recently popped up in my life that seem to want to help with that, and she's there in a guardian aspect as well, so I think this will come together. If this all helps me pop back into writing sooner, great, but otherwise I need to be OK with waiting for fall.

Tho there's not really a lot of specific social events going on this week, which is a bummer. And I'm a bit strapped for cash again (still working on taming my grocery spending, wth). Wish I hadn't been too sick/recovering to go out last week, tho saving my spoons for game was definitely the best idea. There's a few things I could go see in a pinch, like improv or a movie or blues dancing, tho cash flow is still an issue. I may just stay in and watch tv while working on costume-alterations/fixes for the upcoming cons. Would also like to attempt the Stitch puppet this week/end. Eeek. I has worries.

Then this weekend the 'rents are coming in for brunch sometime, and there's some "nerdswap" events I'm curious about, but I don't really want more stuff. Tho you never know, I might find items I can shellack and put in the garden, etc. I'll see what random items I have that I haven't purged yet, mebbe go thru my bookshelf.

Might bug my local friend to borrow his GoT dvds, b/c I think its just time to finally watch that. Still worried about wanting to make all-teh-costumes, but what I'm *hoping* is that there will be costumes that help with stash busting. And at this point I think my willpower (or disgust) is strong enough that any temptations outside of the stash can be pinned until next year.

I also started watching two new-to-me shows the other week (gasp) which is actually a big deal for me. Supernatural and Black Sails. There is a level of fatigue where you're too tired to watch new TV shows, so def another good sign. This is what I point to when ppl say "maybe you're just getting old-tired" b/c being unable to watch tv or read a book is definitely not just "getting old" :-P

<3 Chrysilla

PS, going to try and post more in my Dreamwidth. B/c some meanderings are just too long for fb, y'know? Which is how this got here in the first place.
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
Today it's the perfect gloomy trenchcoat+boots kind of weather. So that's lifting my spirits a bit.

Mixed weekend, tho. Read more... )

After paying bills I ordered some supplements for next month's budget, including "NAC" which is the latest magical EBV cure I've heard of. Its a precursor to the body's fave antioxidant called glutathione (GSH) (which just gets digested if taken itself), but while helping the liver and eliminating free radicals = good, I'm not sure how that helps chronic EBV when there's no die-off stage like with a bacterial infection, and thus not much need for detox. Tho there are also claims that it can inhibit/relieve inflammation responses, which *might* be why it sometimes helps with mental illness. But might as well try it, right? Who knows when I'll ever get to try LDN. I'm just losing faith that anything otc can cure my brainfog.


Guess I'm sticking with Amazon Prime, even if I lose the student discount for not being enrolled for a couple semesters. It seems to be paying for itself, tho the researching of individual supplements and products can be a bit overwhelming sometimes.


Not sure about scheduling game this month. Since my fatigue has 'leveled up' (and not the rest of me), I'm not sure I could get thru a weekend with running my own game, and still have energy for work the following week. Which would mean two months in a row off from game, tho. My energy levels are just too unpredictable :-(

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
My psych apparently didn't get my message asking about LDN two friking weeks ago, so he hadn't done any research or thinking about it, so he said no to letting me try it on his Rx yesterday :(. He only knows it for its original uses and strength. Suxxor. He wanted to put me on more Wellbutrin, I was like nope. On the upside, he confirmed the lysine-effect on this type of virus, so at least an actual doctor weighed in on this part of the plan.

On my way into work I stopped by Lilac's on Bleeker to drown my sorrows in fancy (dairylicious but still gf) chocolate, after spending weeks resisting the cheap Easter candy I <3. Because who gives a f#$% about my inflammation problems anyway :-P

I see the endocrinologist who treats my friend with LDN on 4/3 (earlier than I realized) so hopefully he won't think I'm crazy. Maybe I'll tell him about the 'knitting endo' to garner sympathy, tho that didn't work on my psych.

But overall very mopey and defeated right now. Just ... F#$% you doctors :-/


Warning: fabric binge )


Then there's the question of *if* I got to try LDN, would it bring my size/weight down? Would I then have to take in everything I've sewn in the last few months? Another good reason to put it off a couple months. On the outside chance I get to try experimental medicine drug.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
In spoonieproblems news, chatted with the needler last night who isn't sure #EBV has a 'die off' stage like a bacterial infection, b/c viruses are different, and don't have cell walls full of toxins that flood the body as the infection is fought off. She thinks I may just still be adjusting to the new supplements. Its technically a herpes virus, and herpes patients don't get die-off reactions, right?

Also, since EBV lives in the white blood cells, and it can take 3-4 months for the wbc's to cycle through, the Lysine will definitely help in the long run, wearing the virus down and then preventing future flares, but it won't feel like a quick fix.

I wonder if the EBV is not so much fighting back against the new treatments as just being a jerk due to the high levels seen in January :-P Otherwise, no explanation for the recent uptick in fatigue. Unless the early spring has just reactivated my sleep disorder to ridic levels.

Slept pretty well again last night, so that's good. Still not sure if I can/should go out this weekend tho. And waaay better on Wednesday night after a meditative epson-salt bath.

My needler also gave me good tips on how to schpiel my psych into prescribing off-label LDN this Monday: autoimmune -> inflammation of the central nervous system, which *might* indicate why despite Strattera, Wellbutrin, and acupuncture the f'ing brainfog just won't f'ing clear up.

Brainfog is definitely my most hated symptom. Even if I was too tired to get out of my office chair, I think I could accomplish some small part of my goals if I didn't have this problem :-/ Typing is not very draining, I don't think.

Today's Health Rating:

1-Horrible
2-Thud
3-Meh
4-OK
5-Yay?
6-Yay!
7-Old normal, YAY!

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