Queen of the Cat People

November was pretty much a wash. Just ... ugh. One random illness after another, and 2 of 3 were medically induced.

( Sick After Sick )

So yah, that wasn't fun. Wednesday I was able to go back to work and eat normally, but from there I went straight to NJ for Turkey Day. My immediate family picked up some nice gf options for me, and at the extended-family party on Turkey Day proper my aunt who has Celiac came out so there were more gf options. Another relative mentioned that Askhenazi Jewish ppl and Irish ppl both have high rates of Celiac, and since that's all of my genetic heritage on Dad's side things make a bit of sense. And then came all the family gossip on old age, estates, etc, and now I freaked out enough to want to start investing my extra $$ more aggressively in 2014. Yay?

And then Black Friday happened, and I participated, but I don't thing going to a NJ craft store on Friday afternoon was so heinous. We drove past the malls, very glad we weren't involved in that craziness. And I picked up materials for *making* presents, so my conscience is clear.

And the BPAL binge happened. ( In which I can't tell if I have a problem... )

On the other hand, comparing hoarding BPAL to hoarding fabric has made me reframe my costuming plans a bit. In that I'm not sure I want to buy fabric and sew it anymore. Or tackle the giant costume plan I had for DCon. But I've also been sick for all of November, after a crazy sewing binge, so Ima give it a few more months. At least I'm sticking to my plan to not buy new fabric until after January. May take out a jacket pattern during Winter Break, or not, will see. I think sewing is something I should only do in the summer, when its too hot outside to think straight anyway.

A couple weeks ago I had the sudden, serious notion to sell all of my jewelry supplies on Etsy and cash-out of the business. Of course, that would be as much energy as making and selling my own jewerly, so probably won't happen any time soon. But the thought popped up. If someday I have the energy for jewelry again, but I still don't actually want to make any, then I may start working on that. Again, I've been sick for weeks, and I tend to make life-cuts when I feel stuck and frustrated like this. Usually its low key, like throwing out clothes that don't fit me, or empty bottles of hair products under the sink. I hesitate before shutting down a business that took years of my life (and a TON of credit card debt :-P) tho.


That reminds me, I finally cleaned up the bathroom this weekend. Tossed a ton of recyclables and took out a shelving thing that wasn't working in the space. It will live on the balcony until I figure out what to do with it. So that's good. Unfortunately, after the normal weekend chores were done that took up the last of my energy. So I had just enough spoons to overspend my spoons. Thus, I don't feel that much better today than I did for most of November. But I do feel a little better. And November is over, lets see if December is healthier.

And my Dad was nice enough to take the rest of my Discardia bin back to NJ with him, where charity groups will pick stuff up from their house when called. So I've got that little 1.5 x 2.5 bit of floor space back again, which is bigger than you'd think in such a tiny apartment. So the Chantry feels a bit neater overall this week. And I smudged with a nice incense blend I made up, cleansing and protecting. Never used sage before and I have definitely been missing out :-)


While I accomplished many home-things over the weekend (I don't think I've ever crossed out all but one thing on my wknd to-do list, OMG, no wonder I'm tired now) I was very frustrated that I didn't *go out* to do anything. But again, sick for weeks. And Saturday my tummy started trying to reestablish its boundaries and... urgh. So it was probably for the best that I stayed in.

This week, assuming I start getting some spoons back, I'd like to do some of that going-out other ppl talk about. I'm bad at organizing things, so I may default to an improv night. I'd really like to finally see Thor 2, so I might do that right after work on Thursday and then go to SFC after. Or maybe something else will come up. Its weird tho, the events page on my FB account is pretty thin for December, which everyone always says is overbooked.

Sadly this month's Browncoats is a holiday party on LI, so between the tired and the gluten I'm not going to make it. But an old pagan buddy is having her Yule party in the West Village, so that will be nice. There will probably be more holiday parties eventually, but sadly I can't do one of my own anymore. Its just too much work and not enough space. But I do get a solid two weeks off for Winter Break, so I hope I'm healthy enough to go to other ppl's parties this year.


Was looking over con plans for 2014, and after the PA trip earlier this month I'm not sure of ALL THE CONS is such a great idea now. On the other hand, I was already a bit sick when I went to PA. I'm already booked and paid for Arisia, so that's a go. And I'm still leaning towards Dexcon in July, even tho I tend to be sick on 7/4 (then again, I'm *home* on 7/4). So if I just add those to the year, that's three times more cons than usual. Otherwise, I think it might be more worth it to just make an effort to be more social and geeky in NYC, where I know all of my gluten-challanged food options, and I already have a train ticket and a place to sleep.

Maybe that would be a good re-framing exercise. "Am I too tired to go to this thing that's out of the house tonite/this weekend? Well, would it be more or less taxing than going to a new convention in another state?"

<3 Chrysilla

My goodness, I feel like I have enough energy for a brief (I hopes) shopping trip tonite. OMG.

Was going to shop Wednesday, but being without after-work noms I wasn't sure I'd make it. So I picked up a bag of potato chips (and a Kind Bar I couldn't eat, b/c I make bad decisions when my blood sugar is low), and sat in the park reading about pagan glamour until I was sure of what I was up for. And I sat there for over an hour, and that's what I was up for, and then I went home. It was really nice tho. An after work habit I would like to partake in more often :-) Which means either developing dinner-boxes, or a rich after work snack that can tide me over until its time to go home.

Also, yay sexxy new boots, but booo having to break them in. I'm starting to wonder if I have the energy to do that much walking. Whups.


Realized last night that while I've been more tired and sleepy overall lately, I'm also less anxious overall. Except for the bug incursion, of course, but then I also recovered from that in record time. So tentative yay. Tho last night I jerked awake a few times (SUGAR! AAARGH!), I *don't* feel like I haven't slept at all today. And of course, now that I'm comfy with my new wake-up schedule, I have to wake up an hour early tomorrow for my allergy shot. *shrugs*

( So... is THIS what detox feels like? )

Also this week, more confirmation that refined sugars, not just chocolate, are bad for me before bedtime. B/c they add to the "Hey its bedtime, lets wake up and do stuff!" pattern that I can sometimes get around, but would rather just not deal with at all. I also think I may be crashed out on Monday & Tuesday *also* b/c of my store-bought meringues habit on the weekend. Only for the last couple of weeks, but I hope that means I can fix it as quickly.


Since I'm trying to cut back on sugar, I'm also slowly succumbing to the desire for ice cream. ( The siren song of sweet noms )

Tonite's shopping trip will be to Home Depot (after eating a Kind Bar that *won't* hurt me), to get stuff for the balcony and bathroom fixing-up. I realized that with all the Greek & Egyptian styled pretend artifacts I have for the space already, I can just stick with that theme. So light colors and subtle patterns. If I repaint the non-folding table I'll probably just redo the white. And that will make plants stand out if I ever have a garden out there again.

Still looking for an "acrylic" medium to seal the "hydrostone" pieces I got at NYRF, but I have some contacts to follow up with that. The vendor doesn't have a website, of course. Blah. But the main goal is to put up the curtain vs. creepy neighbor, the other stuff isn't such a big deal. Will probably get that at my nearby BBB, but I don't want to have to wait for a new one of their coupons.



I'm trying to figure out if all the housework is an overhanging annoyance that really needs to be fixed for the sake of my mental health, or just a distraction from creative projects I used to enjoy b/c of some kind of stage fright (despite the absence of a stage). I guess I feel less horrible since finishing the balcony clean up? But I was feeling more sleepiness at bedtime before that happened. Meh, does not compute yet.

And a new home project is always cropping up, it seems, each time I finish another one. Current list: balcony fixes, bathroom fixes, sweep/wash the inside floors, clean the kitchen (esp top of fridge), and do a makeup purge (yay for soyish and glutenous makeup :-P).



In other news, I think I've done a good job at retooling my wardrobe. It seems like all the things I have for daily wear now make me feel pretteh without too much effort. And putting together my work week outfits in advance is definitely helping me utilize things that I usually forget I have when its 8am. But yah, sitting in WSP with a book and feelin pretteh, that's a nice thing to do when the rest of your day is very zombie-like.



This weekend I'd also like to take some time to just sit with my Sedona book and see what I can do with those techniques when I'm in private. Thus far, I'm always either at work or on the subway. The chapter that didn't make sense on Tuesday was better today, given that I'm still a bit numb but not sleep deprived.

<3 Chrysilla