chrysilla: (galadriel lembas mix)
Well, not entirely. I did spend most of last week going straight home after work and resting some more. Got a few extra-long nights of sleep, too. Tho on Thursday I was home sick b/c of a ridiculously painful stomach upset + sleep dep late Wednesday nite.

And Friday night I actually managed to go out with an old friend for dinner and then Nerd NYC's boardgame night, which I'd forgotten about until he started steering me towards the cafe. Late in the work day, my brain basically sat up and said "If we don't go out tonight in some fashion, I will make you MISERABLE to be home alone." So... went out. I have really forgotten how to socialite, but my friend saw my whiny tweet and was available for noms.Was very fun! Got to catch up with my buddy, have good noms including a milkshake b/c I was tired of not having milkshakes (had pills, so no negative consequences, yay), and then I learned to play three new card based games with a brain that is usually made up of gf mush. Yay!

The weekend was fail again, b/c of me being stupid about what I ate (considering new stomach problems), and over-working myself on chores, so I didn't have the spoons to go to my friend's holiday party on Sunday nite. So the weekend started really good, and then ended with me feeling like a jerk and a dummy. Oh well.


There was a recurring theme of dietary and stomach stuff all week. Cut for boring continued whining about tummy issues. )

My GI didn't call back about the celiac test, so I don't know if that means it was negative, or the results haven't come back yet, or if her office is just super disorganized. I really hope I don't have to go thru the testing process again, b/c NO never again. Ima write up a list of questions for my appointment Tuesday afternoon so I don't forget or get lost in a brain fog. Tho I guess the new (?) symptoms might require a new (different) procedure, hopefully not as hardcore as the other one. Eeek.

I also really need to see a dentist soon. Will try to remember to look it up while on break, but probably won't be able to line up an appointment that quickly. Will see.


Tomorrow's appointment is in Union Square at 3:30, so Ima do the last of my holiday shopping around there, too. And maybe, finally, pick me up some snow boots. With luck I won't need them tomorrow :-P Then Ima meet up with a friend after she gets off work, for Burgers & BPAL (well, technically BPTP, but close enough).

And my giant BPAL order finally shipped today, So Bpal stuff )

Was going to work a grocery shopping list out with the 'rents, so they could pick stuff up and I could cook Cris-friendly noms in their kitchen while I'm there for the holiday, but ... most of my fun baking recipes are almond based. So I need to email them saying that won't work out. They're pretty good at getting me shelf-ready noms tho, and I can still has chocolate (and fruits, & veggies), I certainly won't starve. Now I'm working on a list of LOD recipes I want to try out over winter break, but I hope I don't spend my whole vacation cooking. Or sick, for that matter. Sleeping all vacation would be acceptable, if not preferable.

Ugh, everyone in the library is coughing and its getting on my nerves. And I don't want to get sick right before my vacation. Ugh I hates it. Haaaaate it. And everybody is crazy studying for finals tonight, so I don't see how they're allowing the coughers to live.


Otherwise, no plans for the week. I supposed if I have another sudden ARGHNEED to go out I can actually call on ppl directly to see what's going on, and there's always improv theaters in a pinch. But my energy levels have been really random for the last few weeks, and my tummy is always unpredictable. So Ima just chill out, and hope these spoiled students don't all get me sick before I leave on Friday. I'm also out of stick days, so hopefully my tummy doesn't make me sick either. Only respiratory stuff is covered by my overly complicated FMLA claim.

I'm a bit sniffly today, but furiously fighting the could-be illness. Grrr. And its not like I haven't already been sniffly for weeks. Aside from that the outside-weathery-cold doesn't seem to be messing me up so far. Its still in refreshing-mode for me.

<3 Chrysilla

NO-vember.

Dec. 2nd, 2013 08:25 pm
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
November was pretty much a wash. Just ... ugh. One random illness after another, and 2 of 3 were medically induced.

Sick After Sick )

So yah, that wasn't fun. Wednesday I was able to go back to work and eat normally, but from there I went straight to NJ for Turkey Day. My immediate family picked up some nice gf options for me, and at the extended-family party on Turkey Day proper my aunt who has Celiac came out so there were more gf options. Another relative mentioned that Askhenazi Jewish ppl and Irish ppl both have high rates of Celiac, and since that's all of my genetic heritage on Dad's side things make a bit of sense. And then came all the family gossip on old age, estates, etc, and now I freaked out enough to want to start investing my extra $$ more aggressively in 2014. Yay?

And then Black Friday happened, and I participated, but I don't thing going to a NJ craft store on Friday afternoon was so heinous. We drove past the malls, very glad we weren't involved in that craziness. And I picked up materials for *making* presents, so my conscience is clear.

And the BPAL binge happened. In which I can't tell if I have a problem... )

On the other hand, comparing hoarding BPAL to hoarding fabric has made me reframe my costuming plans a bit. In that I'm not sure I want to buy fabric and sew it anymore. Or tackle the giant costume plan I had for DCon. But I've also been sick for all of November, after a crazy sewing binge, so Ima give it a few more months. At least I'm sticking to my plan to not buy new fabric until after January. May take out a jacket pattern during Winter Break, or not, will see. I think sewing is something I should only do in the summer, when its too hot outside to think straight anyway.

A couple weeks ago I had the sudden, serious notion to sell all of my jewelry supplies on Etsy and cash-out of the business. Of course, that would be as much energy as making and selling my own jewerly, so probably won't happen any time soon. But the thought popped up. If someday I have the energy for jewelry again, but I still don't actually want to make any, then I may start working on that. Again, I've been sick for weeks, and I tend to make life-cuts when I feel stuck and frustrated like this. Usually its low key, like throwing out clothes that don't fit me, or empty bottles of hair products under the sink. I hesitate before shutting down a business that took years of my life (and a TON of credit card debt :-P) tho.


That reminds me, I finally cleaned up the bathroom this weekend. Tossed a ton of recyclables and took out a shelving thing that wasn't working in the space. It will live on the balcony until I figure out what to do with it. So that's good. Unfortunately, after the normal weekend chores were done that took up the last of my energy. So I had just enough spoons to overspend my spoons. Thus, I don't feel that much better today than I did for most of November. But I do feel a little better. And November is over, lets see if December is healthier.

And my Dad was nice enough to take the rest of my Discardia bin back to NJ with him, where charity groups will pick stuff up from their house when called. So I've got that little 1.5 x 2.5 bit of floor space back again, which is bigger than you'd think in such a tiny apartment. So the Chantry feels a bit neater overall this week. And I smudged with a nice incense blend I made up, cleansing and protecting. Never used sage before and I have definitely been missing out :-)


While I accomplished many home-things over the weekend (I don't think I've ever crossed out all but one thing on my wknd to-do list, OMG, no wonder I'm tired now) I was very frustrated that I didn't *go out* to do anything. But again, sick for weeks. And Saturday my tummy started trying to reestablish its boundaries and... urgh. So it was probably for the best that I stayed in.

This week, assuming I start getting some spoons back, I'd like to do some of that going-out other ppl talk about. I'm bad at organizing things, so I may default to an improv night. I'd really like to finally see Thor 2, so I might do that right after work on Thursday and then go to SFC after. Or maybe something else will come up. Its weird tho, the events page on my FB account is pretty thin for December, which everyone always says is overbooked.

Sadly this month's Browncoats is a holiday party on LI, so between the tired and the gluten I'm not going to make it. But an old pagan buddy is having her Yule party in the West Village, so that will be nice. There will probably be more holiday parties eventually, but sadly I can't do one of my own anymore. Its just too much work and not enough space. But I do get a solid two weeks off for Winter Break, so I hope I'm healthy enough to go to other ppl's parties this year.


Was looking over con plans for 2014, and after the PA trip earlier this month I'm not sure of ALL THE CONS is such a great idea now. On the other hand, I was already a bit sick when I went to PA. I'm already booked and paid for Arisia, so that's a go. And I'm still leaning towards Dexcon in July, even tho I tend to be sick on 7/4 (then again, I'm *home* on 7/4). So if I just add those to the year, that's three times more cons than usual. Otherwise, I think it might be more worth it to just make an effort to be more social and geeky in NYC, where I know all of my gluten-challanged food options, and I already have a train ticket and a place to sleep.

Maybe that would be a good re-framing exercise. "Am I too tired to go to this thing that's out of the house tonite/this weekend? Well, would it be more or less taxing than going to a new convention in another state?"

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (will thelemic)
Having another very brain-foggy Monday. Not sure if this is due to a post-Halloween sugar crash, a weekend cleaning binge, or the DST time traveling yesterday. Or if its just a normal Monday. *shrugs*

Today I impulse-bought a pendant from a friend's jewelry shop called "Saturn Return". I had not realized that amethyst and fluorite were Saturnine stones. (And luckily, there was room in the budget for it :-P) This helped motivate me to look more into Saturn-focused sorcery, which I've been drifting into b/c of the greatest caveat of magic: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Illness and fatigue are also very Saturnine themes. So I'm looking into the more proactive aspects of that planetary/deity aspect to see if there's something I'm missing. And one of the proactive bits: Following a restrictive diet. The archetype has clearly embraced me, so maybe I should make sure I'm not fighting it and making myself more tired. And obviously it started in the later half of my Saturn Return, although it didn't end when the transit did.

Saturn, rings & things )

Yeah... I think I could get behind a more Saturnine disposition. I'd actually been thinking about it before, but not in terms of this archetype which makes it so much clearer. Even before the gamer-mob, I tended towards the path of least resistance b/c it seemed easier. And continued, b/c it meant spending less energy once I turned spoonie. Now I know the value of planning in advance towards spoon-saving later on. "I don't actually need to readdress this. It was already in the contract. Here it is to read again."

Now, I wonder at how ppl will react to my laying down the law early to avoid drama later on. I'm not really worried about it, b/c the people who know me know what I've been through, and I think the people whom I want to work with in the future would respect me and mah shiny new boundaries. But I'm still curious about what happens next. The world outside is often unkind to lady lawgivers.

Overall, I've seen that socializing does increase my energy (esp now that my makeup isn't secretly poisoning me). Not sure if *responsibility* for projects and other ppl will have the same effect tho. TruGeek was kindof a let down in that department, but then that wasn't a very structured project. Even my co-show-runner almost flaked two out of three events, but our DJ was always reliable, so give it 50/50? And my podcasting project won't require me to lug heavy things and lure an unreliable group of costumed people to a yuppie nightclub once a month. This is much more low-key.


The Saturn studies coincide today with articles about "omg occult is sho popular again!" Um... it never really stops being popular, but OK. Its making me wonder if I should try again to get into professional tarot reading. Tho I'd be a Saturnine fortune teller. Not "Here's what you want to hear in a floofily mysteirous tone" but "Hello I am your pseudo spiritual life coach *SMACK*". Everyone likes edgy now, right? Meh.


In other news, last week was pretty mixed. Samhain and Cleaning Frenzy )

Unfortunately, I did not remember that next weekend I won't *be* home, so I'll have to get ahead of my weekly chores this week after work. Including setting up my food situation for the weekend trip itself. At least the house is clean?

I haven't seen many interesting social offerings on my calendar yet, so I should be fine taking the week to myself, and then socializing like crazy at my friend's wedding this Sunday. I hope. They've been wonderful about having gluten free options, so hopefully that all works out for me. And I finally remembered to cancel the extra hotel reservation tonite, go me.

Also, during the weekend's cleaning/filing frenzy I FINALLY found the GI referral. Will call tomorrow and set up an appointment.

During the weekend I kept eating the chocolates I'd picked up, which were actually not dairy free. And I kept forgetting to take a lactase pill after, but I did eventually. Today I didn't take one at all, and when I remembered I had a bit of a tummy twinge, but otherwise not explosions. So either my lactose intolerance is less intolerant, or there wasn't much dairy in those candies to begin with. Either way, more questions about my insides, I hope this new doc is ready for the onslaught.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (clothes)
My goodness, I feel like I have enough energy for a brief (I hopes) shopping trip tonite. OMG.

Was going to shop Wednesday, but being without after-work noms I wasn't sure I'd make it. So I picked up a bag of potato chips (and a Kind Bar I couldn't eat, b/c I make bad decisions when my blood sugar is low), and sat in the park reading about pagan glamour until I was sure of what I was up for. And I sat there for over an hour, and that's what I was up for, and then I went home. It was really nice tho. An after work habit I would like to partake in more often :-) Which means either developing dinner-boxes, or a rich after work snack that can tide me over until its time to go home.

Also, yay sexxy new boots, but booo having to break them in. I'm starting to wonder if I have the energy to do that much walking. Whups.


Realized last night that while I've been more tired and sleepy overall lately, I'm also less anxious overall. Except for the bug incursion, of course, but then I also recovered from that in record time. So tentative yay. Tho last night I jerked awake a few times (SUGAR! AAARGH!), I *don't* feel like I haven't slept at all today. And of course, now that I'm comfy with my new wake-up schedule, I have to wake up an hour early tomorrow for my allergy shot. *shrugs*

So... is THIS what detox feels like? )

Also this week, more confirmation that refined sugars, not just chocolate, are bad for me before bedtime. B/c they add to the "Hey its bedtime, lets wake up and do stuff!" pattern that I can sometimes get around, but would rather just not deal with at all. I also think I may be crashed out on Monday & Tuesday *also* b/c of my store-bought meringues habit on the weekend. Only for the last couple of weeks, but I hope that means I can fix it as quickly.


Since I'm trying to cut back on sugar, I'm also slowly succumbing to the desire for ice cream. The siren song of sweet noms )

Tonite's shopping trip will be to Home Depot (after eating a Kind Bar that *won't* hurt me), to get stuff for the balcony and bathroom fixing-up. I realized that with all the Greek & Egyptian styled pretend artifacts I have for the space already, I can just stick with that theme. So light colors and subtle patterns. If I repaint the non-folding table I'll probably just redo the white. And that will make plants stand out if I ever have a garden out there again.

Still looking for an "acrylic" medium to seal the "hydrostone" pieces I got at NYRF, but I have some contacts to follow up with that. The vendor doesn't have a website, of course. Blah. But the main goal is to put up the curtain vs. creepy neighbor, the other stuff isn't such a big deal. Will probably get that at my nearby BBB, but I don't want to have to wait for a new one of their coupons.



I'm trying to figure out if all the housework is an overhanging annoyance that really needs to be fixed for the sake of my mental health, or just a distraction from creative projects I used to enjoy b/c of some kind of stage fright (despite the absence of a stage). I guess I feel less horrible since finishing the balcony clean up? But I was feeling more sleepiness at bedtime before that happened. Meh, does not compute yet.

And a new home project is always cropping up, it seems, each time I finish another one. Current list: balcony fixes, bathroom fixes, sweep/wash the inside floors, clean the kitchen (esp top of fridge), and do a makeup purge (yay for soyish and glutenous makeup :-P).



In other news, I think I've done a good job at retooling my wardrobe. It seems like all the things I have for daily wear now make me feel pretteh without too much effort. And putting together my work week outfits in advance is definitely helping me utilize things that I usually forget I have when its 8am. But yah, sitting in WSP with a book and feelin pretteh, that's a nice thing to do when the rest of your day is very zombie-like.



This weekend I'd also like to take some time to just sit with my Sedona book and see what I can do with those techniques when I'm in private. Thus far, I'm always either at work or on the subway. The chapter that didn't make sense on Tuesday was better today, given that I'm still a bit numb but not sleep deprived.

<3 Chrysilla

Today's Health Rating:

1-Horrible
2-Thud
3-Meh
4-OK
5-Yay?
6-Yay!
7-Old normal, YAY!

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