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Weeding the garden of my mind.
Apr. 25th, 2013 02:57 pmSlowly crawling through my own brain. ( CBT, books, anxiety hiccups, brainfog )
Its a BIG help that I've intentionally cut social events out of my daily life for the time being. Instead of going out when I feel slightly better, I'm using my less fogged brain to try and work out what's actually going on with me. And to get back in the habit of at-home, low energy things that make me happy. Also, I don't have to stress or strain to make myself fit for human companionship when I'm not up for it, which saves more spoons in the long run. I've spent a lot of energy in my life catering to other people's needs in one way or another, now its time for me to cater to myself.
I also think I need a new wellness scale, b/c my brain just can't deal with the 1-10 version right now. It requires me to be able to remember and compare how I felt on past days, and its just hot happening. So now I'm doing common qualities of how I feel, matched with numbers.
So far I've got:
1-Horrible
2-Thud
3-Meh
4-OK
5-Yay?
6-Yay!
7-Old normal
Will see how this works out. I think having words & specific qualities will make it easier for me to gauge things.
In more fun news (I think?) my b'day is coming up. I'm working out what fripperies I want to splurge on in advance, in the hopes that I don't ruin 2 months of not overspending my budget. So far I'm thinking about fancy chocolate & BPAL (limited stuff from their Etsy shop). There's also a light weight gothy jacket that I like, but many factors make that a less sure transaction. At least if I don't wear the BPAL right away, the perfume will still fit me when I start leaving the house more often, and I won't have to wait for the right weather pattern to use them.
Still not sure how to organize my b'day party. Bareburger would be easier with a reservation, and the ppl I know tend towards flakey, and FB doesn't let you send reminder messages to everyone on your invite list anymore. Also, which of my friends are going to wait until Saturday to see Star Trek? *sigh*
Also trying to figure out if I want to take some time off around my b'day. But I also want to conserve time off for sick days. Will mull it over some more.
<3 Chrysilla
Its a BIG help that I've intentionally cut social events out of my daily life for the time being. Instead of going out when I feel slightly better, I'm using my less fogged brain to try and work out what's actually going on with me. And to get back in the habit of at-home, low energy things that make me happy. Also, I don't have to stress or strain to make myself fit for human companionship when I'm not up for it, which saves more spoons in the long run. I've spent a lot of energy in my life catering to other people's needs in one way or another, now its time for me to cater to myself.
I also think I need a new wellness scale, b/c my brain just can't deal with the 1-10 version right now. It requires me to be able to remember and compare how I felt on past days, and its just hot happening. So now I'm doing common qualities of how I feel, matched with numbers.
So far I've got:
1-Horrible
2-Thud
3-Meh
4-OK
5-Yay?
6-Yay!
7-Old normal
Will see how this works out. I think having words & specific qualities will make it easier for me to gauge things.
In more fun news (I think?) my b'day is coming up. I'm working out what fripperies I want to splurge on in advance, in the hopes that I don't ruin 2 months of not overspending my budget. So far I'm thinking about fancy chocolate & BPAL (limited stuff from their Etsy shop). There's also a light weight gothy jacket that I like, but many factors make that a less sure transaction. At least if I don't wear the BPAL right away, the perfume will still fit me when I start leaving the house more often, and I won't have to wait for the right weather pattern to use them.
Still not sure how to organize my b'day party. Bareburger would be easier with a reservation, and the ppl I know tend towards flakey, and FB doesn't let you send reminder messages to everyone on your invite list anymore. Also, which of my friends are going to wait until Saturday to see Star Trek? *sigh*
Also trying to figure out if I want to take some time off around my b'day. But I also want to conserve time off for sick days. Will mull it over some more.
<3 Chrysilla
