chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
First day of classes at work, so every time I go to type or read something a patron turns up. Very bizy. Although not very crowded, b/c a large part of the student population is probably still snowed out of NYC as of this weekend. But everyone who's here is definitely making it sound like a full house, b/c rampant coughing.

Tbh, the blizzard didn't alter the path of my life while it was happening. Housebound weekend, already in progress. )

This will probably be the last weekend I can get away with not doing any homework (spaced out and forgot, whups). Starting in February I'll have one assignment due every week, so best to work on those during the weekend. Found out from the prof I had last semester that he did put down a final grade for my transcript (A, woot) but unfortunately its not showing up in the whole system. And he didn't give grades/comments for the individual projects b/c he was going to do that later. Well... its later? And maybe this semester I won't wait until the last minute to do most of my assignments :-/ It just feels very overwhelming, even after last semester wasn't so bad.

Arisia gave me new drive to work on my podcast again, so... maybe this time it'll last? Writing is free, luckily, unlike sewing. Will try to finish up the last of the cut-out sewing projects next weekend (when not homeworking :-P), and then leave the fabric stash alone for a few months. Then I will make myself go out with ppl a bit more, and otherwise work on creative writing. It would be nice to finally get this project off the ground now, so if it fails miserably I can doubledown on being a growup, getting my degree and trying for a better paid but still boring library job.

And b/c everyone else in the Domain is going to Dreamation or something, the local NYC larp got moved to the fourth weekend when I'll already be in Boston for MES. *shrugs* Maybe I can get this geeky project off the ground during my two month vacation from the local game?

It continues to annoy me that I have plenty of time in which to work on both school and creative projects, but CFS means I'm too tired. If I remember to work on things I'm too spaced out to concentrate. But I'm seeing a sleep-doc next month, along with some other docs, so maybe something will work? The adrenal-testers cashed the check, so maybe someday I'll get those test results too. My thyroid is on the low side but still in normal ranges (for other ppl), Ima ask my PCP if he can do *something* to treat that anyway if other docs can't help so much.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (will thelemic)
Not really up for full fledged 'resolutions', some kind of evil synergy tends to make most ppl's resolutions fail. But I have some plans that I may as well pin to the wall now? Year in review vs. Next year's forecast.

Crafty stuff:

Jewelry stays on backburner as I work thru avalanche of fabric. )

Health stuff:

Was thinking of doing dietary tweaks again, but then I'm like, "what if I resolved to make my life easier instead of more difficult this year?" so nope. Focusing on sleep, and a couple other things. )

Food stuffs. )

When they're done with the betatest: Flaredown! Missed getting onto the betatest b/c I didn't contribute to the indiegogo in time, but OMG I wanna play with that. B/c I am a data geek :-D



Gamer Stuff

I really can't do three larps in one weekend. I'm never awake enough to play Requiem effectively, and then I'm hungover the next day. And I don't even drink. So from now on just two. More rationalizations. And COSTUMES. )

Social Stuff:

I'm happy that the gamers have re-accepted me as one of their own, and happy that I was able to have some kind of externally-moving force in my life aside from work, but it wasn't supposed to be the *only* social outlet. Filling in the gaps, I live in NYC for crying out loud. ) So see, I have a lot of options. I live in friking NYC. Its really just a matter of feeling well enough to grab those options, or ignoring possibly false limitations and going anyway.


Travel

Not sure about adding tons of new cons this year. Arisia's next week, DragonCon of course (but maybe last consecutive year), *maybe* Dexcon but no other plans. The "Geek Escrow" savings accounts are working out really well, tho.

I do really like my Boston trips, and if I plan them long enough (like two months) in advance I can get cheaper train tix. So we'll see how that goes in February and if it leaves me energy for more fun outside of game while I'm out there. Not sure about traveling to other cities, not sure what Philly's MES group is like, but I've heard amazing things about D.C.



Finances

Still kinda suck financially, but I'm not destitute by any means. And I think I'll be able to max out my Roth IRA this year (b/c I can make contributions for 2014 until April), and putting my extra paychecks and IRS refunds in there worked out very well. And my Geek Escrow accounts *are* working out, so I had some good ideas that are working out. Yay for that. But in early fall I used my emergency savings like a credit card, and spent about a quarter of it, and refilling it has been slow going so far. Really have to figure that one out.

Cris, pls stop buying stuff. )

Other Habits, good and bad

I have a bad habit of spacing out on the internet at home instead of getting stuff done, or going to bed on time. Sleeping, or vegging out on the couch, would be a totally passive activity. Sewing and cleaning would be totally active. Unless I'm in an IRC game, the internet is some uncomfortable place between active and passive, so I can't start something else and its very hard to just shut it off. I think its getting in the way of a lot of other things.

Will see what kind of measures I can take to un-internet while I'm home. Sadly I can't just turn off my modem like I used to b/c it resets all the passwords :-P

Along those lines, when I'm at home I'd like to be either entirely active *or* passive, so basically see above. Tired? Watch neflix on the comfy couch. Awake? Sew or clean stuff. No more zoning out on the internet until I miss bedtime.

Books are still a thing, right? I have a whole shelf full of new books I haven't started reading, and some of them have been there for *years*. I don't remember when I used to read them. Working on that.

I'm quite sure that music is still a thing. Got on Emusic again, b/c lots of gothy bands seem to put their music up there. So I can make a list from the podcasts I listen to, and gradually pick them up each month, maybe with a booster for my b'day. I have 8GB on my mp3 player, would like to actually utilize that space. Lets see if having a 'music allowance' works better this time around.

Thought of having a "Big Cleaning Day" once a month, not sure if that's a good idea. Might leave things to pile up and drive me crazy, then do everything that one day and burn out. And then what happens if I'm sick that day, or if something actually fun comes up? Meh.

Spiritual stuff... ugh. So wrapped up in the mundane that I don't really have the braincells left over for higher states of consciousness and intuition. Will try to keep up with the regular tarot forecasts, but the last couple months its been a lot of me staring at the cards and not getting it. :-/

And I'd like to 'journal' like this at least once a week. I keep writing novels on FB, and why do I need to do that when I can just record it here and publish it all at once? Maybe I'll more pointedly post via tweetdeck to keep my chatter short and sweet.



So... that's about where I am, and what I'm looking at. I tend to change lives every few years, I'd really like to start the next one please, but this one is very staunchly and unfairly holding onto me.

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (dw Tardis)

Having some trouble with journal formatting these days, eep. Oh well. Lets see how this goes.

Boston was fun! The gamer crowd there is always so welcoming. In Requiem I got to Marguerite (b/c that's just how it is), and it was mostly entirely social but that's where she excels. Accord was awful for my wolfie (so many conflicted feels and repressed fidgets) but fun for me, and that seems to be the standard of a good Accord game :-)   Was very fun staying over my local friend's (adorable New Englandy gamer geek) house and having gamer girl chat too, yaay, and I feel fine (well, no worse) this week so I am *not* allergic to Boston.

I figure every other month won't mess me up too badly, so I'm aiming to try November's games the weekend before turkey day.  But maybe also December, b/c I think it would fall into my winter break, which is apparently two full weeks this year unless HR has a knee jerk reaction closer to the end of the semester. Then again, I'm also doing Arisia in January, but they'll only have a MES Masquerade game this time. Eep, I still have to get my room res for Arisia, and train tix, which will drain my savings a bit more.

Also slept well in Boston, after a week of not sleeping well at home, maaaybe because I was taking more melatonin at bedtime while I was out there. I've started doing that every night so will have to see if it helps. Still on the Strattera, not feeling too much more focused or energetic, but there's still the sleep 'ish which may or may not be interrelated.

 

Have not continued on with the backpack project b/c I've been catching up on weekend chores every weeknight so far, I'm also still all crashed out and groggy every night after work, and tomorrow night is the start of the NYC MES weekend.  I'm really itching to start my sewing/costuming projects for Halloween weekend's games (GOTHMAS!) but tonight I have to put out the laundry rack, which means no fabric cutting for a while. And next weekend is NYCC, so I'll need to keep the chantry tidy so there's room for my friend to crash.  I can at least finish the backpack, I think, maybe a couple other UFOs. 

Next in the hopper is the pleather hoodie, and also I'm going to use all the black lace from my old vendor table dressings to make this medieval-ish dress pattern. Obv I'll wear a slip underneath, but I think that makes it flexible to use for more than one larp costume, depending on the color of the underdress/slip. Yaaay flexibility.

I also haven't set up my new stereo, but no rush on that since I won't be giving away the old one for a while. But I really should, b/c I spent the monies on it, and am feeling teh guilt. Maybe I'll do that on Sunday. And toss the last of the Discardias, I think I'll box those old books and put them downstairs after all. Just not wanting to deal with them, and I want my space back darnit. My friends all got their boxes in the mail tho, yay!

Continuing to not make Things, unfortunately. Just too much mundane catching up to do this week, plus extra brainfog. Oh well, I have three more months, and at least the work desk is already cleared for it.

Working on my budgets, I think I can do this OK. Unfortuately, BPAL just put out their Halloweenies. I just have to take some time at home to go over my list of already-haves and whittle down my OMG NEED reflex to a minimal number of bottles. Luckily, they'll be at NYCC, so lets hope a lot of them fail the sniff test lol.  Still not feeling 100% better in the respiratory system, but I'll have to try some of my own collection on this week to check my tolerance.

I might just stay in and sew for the next couple weekends between NYCC and NYC-MES. Well, mostly. Its been established that I can do sewing *and* go out in the same weekend, and b/c of budget problems I might keep going with the lazy not-time-consuming cooking this month. A pork shoulder is more meats, but I'm always tempted in to buying all these cooking veggies that just turn to mush in the crock pot anyway and don't really lend much flavur. Meh, I'll think about it, my monthly costco trip will probably be Sunday.  And I want to make at least some of the corduroy into stuff soon, b/c the heating is not fixed at work, and likely never will be :-P


My social life is a bit stalled out, after being sick for most of the summer, then having a broken phone, and now that I'm out of it other friends are getting sick b/c fall, and one of my usual social buddies is now not in the city for half the week (I think he's having an Eshu phase). I haven't even been to a full MES weekend since June. At least I have game this weekend and con next weekend tho, so I'm trying not to force myself out of the house as hard. Still don't feel completely recovered from all the ick.  Would like to start doing NYC SFC again, but the last couple weeks have been crazy, and tonight is more chores, meh.  Maybe this will be the month I finally get to Wits End? Hopefully not by myself. Overall I still can't shake this extra run down feeling I've had for the last few weeks, maybe I shouldn't push myself after all?

But I also want to keep up with my aDC Socials position in MES, so Ima make myself (attempt to) organize at least one thing this month. Might just put out a call for NYRSF on Tuesday and see how that goes. Not free, but not costly either, and they're back in SoHo.

Should I keep trying to have crafty gatherings at my place? Its a very small space, and kinda far out unless you're coming in from Manhattan.

<3 Chrysilla
 

chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
Starting the Strattera at 18mg today,for ten days before I increase the dose. After about 30 minutes I was already feeling a bit buzzed, warm and tingly. By the first hour I felt very energetic and way less foggy, but not really *focused*. It think I'm getting used to it now, I'm a bit queasy but that's a normal pre-lunch thing for me anyway.

If I were at home, I think I'd at least have the energy to do Saturday's todo list, but I'll have to see this afternoon if I can actually "get'er done" on this. Also not sure what happens when I run out of spoons on this, will I miss the signal and crash out? Feel extra gross the next day? Do I magically have more spoons to begin with?

So far it feels more like I have standard ADHD instead of my weird chronic fatigue version. But friends and my psychiatrist explained the whole "speed up to slow down" idea of ADHD meds (or tried to, I still don't really get it), so will have to see what happens when I increase the dosage. Definitely feels like a stimulant, but it's actually an uptake-blocker, so I guess its giving me more of my natural stimulants to work with?

And since my pinkie toe is still numb, and my sinuses are still "Ugh, ragweed!!" there's a lot of other stuff going on in my body right now :-P At least my back feels a bit better.



Ordered more fabric for future projects last nite b/c it was on sale again. I have a problem. )

Y'know, summer is historically a terrible time for my budget, and not just because DCon (and even less so, now that I know how to budget and save ahead for that trip). This year I noticed a lot of "I feel cruddy, so Ima make a bad (or imperfect) purchase decision." I'm thinking of doing a Buy Nothing Summer next year to see if I can. I can spend $$ on going out and doing stuff, and groceries/rx, but not on things that can become pointless physical clutter.

That could backfire, as I make a longer and longer shopping list over teh summer and then go crazy in September. Or I spend a ton around my b'day to stock up on some stuff before the dry spell. And then there's "I'd like to take this jewelry commission, but I'm all out of crimp beads." I've got nine months to figure it out.

On that note, it would also be nice to have a regular extra chores/cleaning day so I don't have to do all of it all at once some ill-fated weekend and f#$% up my back and leg muscles. :-P


Weekend's plans: regular chores, clean the bathroom, *maybe* swiffer and mop the other floors too. Take Discardia claims to the post office, and put the rest downstairs. Then I have a dress and a backpack to make (I wonder if the one-side shoulderbag is contributing to the nerve pinch making my toe numb?). My parents are coming in on Sunday for Dad's b'day, and then a friend is stopping by later to get more Discardia stuff. I should do laundry, b/c I'll be busy for the next three weekends. Or I could take a chance and push it off for a weeknight? The laundry rack and sewing table don't fit together in the space.

Today I have to stop by the bank with a lot of coin rolls. Last night I put those together out of purchase guilt, but as it turns out they almost cover last night's fabric purchase, so yay for that. Less credit card panic.

Next week I think there's an IAF meetup, yay. Other than that, probably not going out much, b/c I'd like this toe situation fixed before I go to Boston on Friday for the weekend of gaming and geekery.
chrysilla: (b5 one of those days)
So that's another very mixed two weeks. Arisia was great, and then the endoscopy was fine, and then I had a sinus infection that still hasn't let go of me. But I had to go back to work last Wednesday anyway.

First, Arisia! Read more... )

And then, an endoscopy. Read more... )

And then, a headcold/sinus infection thingie. Read more... )

Now things are sortof back to normal, except my supervisor transferred out of our department last week on Friday, so I have some new duties to attend to around the office. Which I made sure to write down b/c of medicine fog :-P. Sad to see him go, but he's going to a more tech-programming focused department.

Hopefully the boss will get on with filling the position soon, b/c I'm already feeling the lack. Without a manager to back us up, I still have to come in for opening shift if I get sick again :-/ Over the last couple of years it seems like I only get one terrible cold-out per semester, but I didn't get to recover fully before going back to work this time, so eep. Also, hopefully they get a move on with that, b/c apparently the position doesn't require an MLS. Which means more of my IT-centric friends may be able to apply. Hooray!


While I was sick, BPAL put out their Lupercalia limited's, but obv with a sinus infection I haven't done all the figuring out for that :-P But they'll be up until March 18th, and I'd like to read some reviews before I buy (if possible), and I'll be splitting my order between two months to save teh budgets. They're also discontinuing a bunch of scents on 3/18, including a couple of imps I recently aquired and enjoyed, but not sure if I want bottles. Plenty of time to figure it out, hopefully, after the sinuses subside :-P At least spending $$ on perfume means I can't spend it on fancy chocolates this month.


While sick, apparently in the last throes of Venus in retrograde, I started missing having things to work on that my brain could actually keep up with. Crafty Stuffs )

On a whim of some kind (it was hazy, I don't remember clearly), I decreased last week's lunch boxes to see what happened. And my digestive system was a bit less cranky, and I wasn't extra hungry after work. Tho granted, I may be too spaced out on cold meds to notice. So Ima keep doing that, which means less grocery bills.

There's a shortage of a few things at home, b/c I'm starting to space out my monthly CC trips differently. Now instead of going the first Saturday of the month, Ima go after the first payday of the month. B/c I'm tired of having to shuffle $$ around accounts to get groceries after paying all my bills. Darn monies.

Last week I also noticed that if I put all of my savings into my Roth IRA each month, instead of splitting it between IRA and emergency savings, I could max out my Roth IRA this year. Did a bit more research, and in a job-loss sort of emergency I apparently can take $$ out of my Roth without a penalty. Or at least without the same penalties. I have about 2-3 months expenses saved in the regular savings account, and "experts" say to have 6+ months saved, but Future Retired Chrysilla won't be able to eat ramen, so I'd like to start maxing out the IRA pls. If I have to drain emergency savings for some reason, I can go back to splitting paymetns until its refilled.


And there was tarot, but a big reading for Imbolc. I was a bit... fuzzy, but I got there eventually. Tarot photo! )


Overall... I want to go out and see my friends, and do fun stuff. But I'm still actively sick, as compared to the passive sick I sortof always am. And I'm still waiting for more medical data. I don't feel patient so much as "I f'ing give up already". Will see how it goes. Felt better this weekend, but if today's cranky-making blizzard puts me in a sinus relapse, I will be even more cranky. And I just plumb forgot my last allergy shot appointment (before Arisia), so I have to get that together as well. Will call that doc tomorrow.

This week I'm going to see Coriolanus at the NYU place, so hopefully that will be fun. Would like to stay out after with friends, but I'm not sure what my body will be up for. :-/

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: HUGS! (HUGS!)
So last week was pretty mixed.

Tuesday night I went to a book/music Fairyland event, and it wuz AWESOME.

It was a CMV/S00j event, so it was a wonderful combo of the new book and new album, and I picked up the previous book that I missed, and got to gabble with lots of new and old friends and YAY! Not really sure what else needs to be described. Yay! Unbridled awesomeness!

By the end of the late evening with friends, I was very wired, and already due to be late for bedtime. But I felt more like myself that I have for... months? Years? So it was a little bittersweet. A) I haven't been myself in so long, B) I couldn't tell how long it would last.

Last week's tarot indicated that there'd be a hammer launched at my CFS problems, so *hopefully* this is more helpful data on what wakes up teh Chrysilla. I am a social creature, despite my upbringing, and those batteries need to be recharged by the presence of other people.


And Wednesday I was a bit strung out, but no where near as bad as I would have expected based on getting to bed an hour late, and then having more trouble falling asleep. Furthermore, stressful dreams of "Its high school finals and I don't remember going to class in the first place. D-:"

Today in therapy I talked about how when I *was* in h.s., I had a whole bunch of apocalypse dreams. But they weren't nightmares, b/c me and my dream-friends would always survive and go on. I figured it was about how college was looming as a wonderful escape from the life I didn't like. The other day I reflected about how much I miss those dreams. Give me an apocalypse over high school any day :-P

By comparison, I think the h.s. test dreams are also an expression of "Ugh, I hate my life" but I don't have a clear path out of this one. HS-to-college is a very clear path to escape, or at least it was for me. And there's the additional element that there's something wrong with me and I don't know what it is. I didn't get to take a CFS class, I don't know how to pass the test. I don't know how to fix the problem, and I have very little to go on.


Less fun & interesting bits )

So I was productive last week, but not really *creative*. If I go out I have great fun and feel awesome, if I stay home I crash out and turn into a zombie. In neither scenario do I get any writing done, and this is very frustrating.

Wondering if I also need to give up pattern sewing for a while (post wedding), until its time to get ready for DCon. Or maybe put those two costumes on hold too. What's more important, realizing my long term goals or having people maybe take my picture at con?

It couldn't hurt to put sewing aside for November (or earlier, depending on when I finish the costume, and the Doom Coat, and a couple other UFOs), leave the jewelry aside, and see where that leaves me in terms of creative energy. Like beads, fabric doesn't spoil. And I have such a nice system of storage for it. Tidy apartment, messy desk :-)



This week, I'm meeting up with a friend for dinner & BPAL geekery on Tuesday. We did a combined order to save on shipping, and it's just come in. Yaay for friends and BPAL :-)

Wednesday I have my allergy shot, but also the pneumonia vaccine. I do OK with the yearly flu vaccines, but this one is an every-few-years deal so... not sure what's going to happen to me. But will not forget the 48 hour reporting window for my "sinuses suck" claim if it makes me sick again.

Leaving Thursday open in case of bodily fail, the rest of the week is pretty much up in the air. Friday there's another bookish event, by an author friend who's in town again for NYCC, but it depends on whether or not my body works. Would be nice to see yet another group of writers I like. Not doing NYCC itself, but there are several parties going on over the weekend that I might try if I'm healthy. Sho glad I'm not hosting any of them this year :-P

<3 Chrysilla
chrysilla: (beadcats 1)
[Oops. I wrote most of this on August 1st, and then saved it, and forgot to finish and post it. Well... extra long post today, yay?]

Last week's body stuff and mild events )

Didn't have the energy or motor function to work on more of my costume stuff last week, but was able to catch up on the weekend, and now all of my costume bits are done for "Steampunk Delenn". Belt with buckle, brooch, wire tiara, triluminary, extra handbag. And some extra doodads requested by our Ivanova, w00t.

Four weeks until DragonCon! Squeeeeeee!

I also spent/wasted some time overthinking my DCon grocery situation. In some ways I wish con would get here faster, b/c then I could put my plan into action and see if it actually works, and then stop fretting about it so much.



Went over the financial 'books' on Wednesday, as it was the very end of June. Not perfect, but a good prognosis overall :-) Noms and Monies, Taurus/Virgo mode activate )

Creative stuffs )

Things worked out logistically for the weekend. I'd put off laundry last weekend, so this weekend I did not have room to start a new sewing project, but then again I wanted to finish all the polymer clay stuff anyway. And I did. Also, I was not overwhelmed by laundry this time b/c no-uber-heatwave, so my apartment is not covered in drying laundry.

I dropped off my fall/winter coats and jackets at a new laundromat, b/c the one I liked closed. And... its a bit sketch. Now I'm regretting giving them the handmade jacket to clean. The store-bought ones would be annoying to replace if lost or damaged, but I'd be much sadder if something happened to my purple jacket. Afterwards I talked with my local friend and there's a less-sketch place I could have gone to, so oh well. On Thursday (or Friday) I'll find out if this was a mistake or not.


Today I'm tired, but in a sleep-deprived way b/c I only got to bed in time for 7 hours of sleep, I had stressy dreams, and then woke myself out of them at a wrong part of my sleep cycle, and so my alarm rang to wake me out of *another* wrong part of my sleep cycle. My energy levels aren't that bad right now, but the brainfog is. But again, in a normal sleep-dep way rather than last week's mysterious wave of fatigue.

As for this week, there's also a Harry Potter fan meetup on Thursday that I might go to if I feel up for it, maybe in my Ravenclaw vest. Otherwise no set plans. Its kinda nice having a wide open week in my dayplanner with so little ink :-)

<3 Chrysilla

Today's Health Rating:

1-Horrible
2-Thud
3-Meh
4-OK
5-Yay?
6-Yay!
7-Old normal, YAY!

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